Complete Works of Emile Zola (68 page)

He reached the Place aux Œufs. It was only then that he thought of Fine, he remembered all at once that she was matinal, that she might already be on the Place and would see him covered with blood. She would question him and he would be unable to answer her. He knew nothing, all was confusion in his head, he found himself lost in a nightmare. His hands burned him, that was all, and he continued running; ran to go and plunge them in the sea and extinguish the coals clinging to his flesh.

He descended the narrow streets, the steep inclines, at the risk of breaking his head twenty times over. Twice he slipped and fell; each time he rose with a bound and continued his race.

At length, he perceived the black masses of vessels lying silent in the dense water of the Port. He ran along the white, polished slabs of stone; and as he could find no boat, he for an instant had the insane idea of flinging himself into the water, and thus appeasing his sufferings at a single stroke. The burns he thought he felt, became intolerable. He yelled and wept.

But having at last found a little pleasure-craft fastened at the edge of the quay, he leapt into it, lay down on his stomach and feverishly plunged his arms into the sea up to the shoulders.

A profound sigh of relief escaped him. The cool water appeased his fever, the wavelets washed away the blood that was gnawing into his hands.

He remained lying thus for a long time, forgetting all, not even remembering why he was there. Every now and then he drew his arms out of the water and furiously rubbed his hands, looked at them and rubbed them again. He seemed always to perceive large red spots on his skin. Then he plunged his arms into the sea again, made the water move gently to and fro, enjoying intense delight at the sensation of the cold seizing him and sending a shiver all over his body.

At the end of an hour, he was still there, thinking there would never be sufficient water in the sea to wash his hands. However, little by little, his ideas became calm and his head heavy. It seemed as if his brain were empty. Icy shivers ran over all his limbs. Mechanically, step by step, he reached the Rue Sainte, without thinking of anything. He no longer knew where he had come from, nor what he had done. He went to bed and was seized with a terrible fever.

CHAPTER XVI

MADEMOISELLE CLAIRE’S PRAYER-BOOK

MARIUS remained three weeks in bed a prey to violent delirium. He had an attack of acute cerebral fever which brought him to death’s door. His youth, and the tender attention he received, saved him.

One evening, at twilight, he opened his eves with a clear head. It seemed to him that he had issued from profound darkness. He was so weak that he had no feeling in his body; but the fever had disappeared, and his thoughts, which were still vacillating, returned to him.

The curtains were drawn round his bed. A soft, warm light came through the white linen and surrounded him with gentle brightness. The air of the silent room was pervaded with perfume. He raised himself. And at the slight noise he made, he saw a shadow glide behind the curtains.

“Who is there?” he inquired, in a voice that was hardly distinct.

A hand quietly drew aside the curtains, and Fine, seeing Marius sitting up, exclaimed joyfully:

“Heaven be praised! You are saved, my friend.”

And she began to weep. The invalid understood all, and extended his poor thin hands towards the girl.

“Thanks,” he said to her, “I knew you were there. I feel as if I had had a frightful dream; and, I remember now, in the midst of that dream, I saw you bending over me like a mother.”

He let his head fall on the pillow and continued in a childish voice:

“I have been very ill, have I not?”

“All is over, do not let us think of such disagreeable things,” said the flower-girl gaily. “But where had you been to, my friend, the sleeves of your coat were all wet?”

Marius passed his hand across his forehead.

“Oh! I remember,” he exclaimed, “it’s frightful!”

Then he gave Fine an account of the two terrible nights he had passed in the gambling-house. He made her a confession, retracing in detail all he had suffered.

“It’s a terrible lesson,” he remarked, in conclusion. “I doubted and turned to chance. For a moment I shuddered. I fancied I felt all the instincts of the gambler within me. But I’ve been cured with a red-hot iron.”

He stopped and then continued anxiously:

“How long have I been ill?”

“About three weeks,” answered Fine.

“Oh! Heavens! Three weeks lost. We have only about twenty days before us.”

“Do not trouble about that, but get well.”

“Hasn’t M. Martelly sent to inquire about me?”

“Don’t worry yourself, I tell you. I have been to see him and everything is arranged.”

Marius seemed more calm and Fine continued:

“There is only one course to follow, and that is to borrow money of M. Martelly. We should have commenced by that. All will be well. Now, sleep, do not speak; the doctor has forbidden it.”

The convalescence advanced at rapid strides, thanks to Fine’s tender and devoted care. The young girl understood that her smile would now suffice to cure Marius, and each morning, she came with that and her fresh breath which filled the little room with a puff of spring.

“Ah! how nice it is to be ill!” the invalid often repeated.

The two lovers passed a charming week in this way. Their love had increased, amidst the suffering and dread of death. A new bond united them. Henceforth they were one.

When, at the expiration of a week of gay and touching intimacy, Marius was able to get downstairs and go for a short walk in the sun on the Cours Bonaparte, he and Fine were taken for two lovers on the morrow of their betrothal. They had been affianced in the midst of devotedness and grief. Now, as they walked along slowly, the flower-girl supported the young man, who was still weak, and gazed at him with bewitching eyes. She was proud of her work, proud at her lover’s recovery, and he thanked her with smiles full of passionate gratitude.

The next day, the clerk wished to go back to his office, and Fine had to get angry to make him remain at home a day or two longer. He was impatient to see M. Martelly; he desired to feel the ground and ascertain if he could rely on the ship-owner.

“But there is no hurry,” said the flower-girl, with a calmness that astounded the young man. “We have a whole week before us. It will suffice if we have the money at the last moment.”

At the end of two days Marius obtained the young girl’s permission to return to his work, and it was arranged between them that they would leave for Aix on the following Monday. Fine spoke as if she had the amount necessary for Philippe’s liberty in her pocket.

Marius went to his office and was received by M. Martelly with paternal kindness. The ship-owner wanted to give him another week’s holiday, but the young man assured him that work would complete his convalescence. He felt ashamed in his presence, he was thinking that in two or three days he would be making an effort to borrow a large sum of money from him and that thought troubled him, moreover M. Martelly gazed at him with a piercing look that quite embarrassed him.

“I have seen Mademoiselle Fine,” said the ship-owner accompanying him to his office, “she is a charming person, a noble heart. Be very fond of her, my friend.”

He smiled again and withdrew. When Marius was alone he experienced inestimable delight at finding himself in the small office where he had lived and worked so long. He again took possession of his little domain, found pleasure in seating himself before his table, in touching the papers and pens lying there. He had been almost dead and he was once more face to face with his daily placid existence.

The room in which he was working, was opposite the ship-owner’s private apartments and sometimes visitors made a mistake and knocked at his door. On that particular morning as he was about to get to work, he heard two discreet knocks and shouted to come in.

A man dressed in a long black frock coat made his appearance. His face was shaven, his manner was gentle and he had all the humble and sneaking demeanour of a person connected with the Roman Catholic Church.

“Mademoiselle Claire Martelly?” he inquired.

Marius, who was occupied in examining him, did not answer: he was wondering where on earth he had seen this devout personage before. The man was hesitating, but he at last pulled a prayer-book confined in a case, out of the immense pockets of his overcoat.

“I have brought her,” he continued, in a fluty voice, “her prayer-book, which she forgot yesterday evening in a confessional.”

Marius continued wondering: “Where on earth have I seen the face of that canting rascal?” The man no doubt understood the mute interrogation of his look. He bent his head slightly, adding:

“I am the beadle at the Church of St. Victor.”

These few words were like a beam of light for the young man. He remembered having seen the individual before him in the vestry-room, on one occasion when he went to fetch Abbé Chastanier. His intelligence received a sort of shock that stimulated it, and urged on by the power of divination, as it were, he said:

“It was M. Donadéi who sent you, was it not?”

“Yes,” answered the beadle, after further hesitation.

“Very good! give me the prayer-book. I will hand it to Mademoiselle Claire.”

“But the abbé particularly told me I was to give it to no one but the young lady.”

“She shall have it in a moment. Perhaps she is not up yet: you will be disturbing her.”

“You promise me to do the errand?”

“Certainly.”

“Tell the young lady that the abbé found this prayer-book in his confessional yesterday, and told me to bring it to her. The abbé sends his compliments to Mademoiselle.”

“I will tell her all that, rest assured.”

The beadle placed the prayer-book on the table and withdrew after making a bow. But in closing the door he hesitated again and looked distrustful.

When he had at last gone, Marius could not help feeling surprised at his persistence in wishing to see Mademoiselle Claire himself. He vaguely remembered the praises Donadéi had bestowed on M. Martelly’s young sister. He looked at the prayer-book and his thoughts were busy with all kinds of reasonings and explanations.

He stretched out his arm and took the prayer-book. He drew it from its case. It was one of those bulky volumes, almost square, with a handsome binding and corners in open silver-work. The initials of the young girl were interlaced on one of the sides.

As Marius contemplated the book and tinned it over in his hands, he perceived a thin piece of paper peeping out from the gilt edges. Prompted by a feeling of curiosity which he did not seek to explain, he opened the volume and a sheet of paper, folded in four, slipped out of it before him.

It was a pretty sheet of pink paper exhaling a slight smell of incense. Marius was about to return it to the book, but as he took it up he saw it was marked with the initial D and a cross in relief. He rapidly unfolded it and read as follows:

“Dear Soul, you whose salvation has been entrusted to me by the Lord, listen, I beg of you, to the scheme I have formed for your eternal happiness. I have never dared explain that scheme to you, verbally, fearing to give way to the adorable emotions that your righteousness creates within me.

“You cannot remain any longer in your brother’s house. It is a place of perdition; your brother is devoted to the abominable worship of modern idols. Come, come with me. We will find a solitary spot where I will place you in the hands of the Almighty.

“Perhaps my tears and trembling, have made you penetrate the secret of my heart. I love you as the Holy Church, our mother, loves the pure souls that come to her. I dream of you each night, I see you entwined in a celestial embrace, and we both rise to heaven exchanging angelic kisses.

“Ah! do not resist the voice that is calling you. Come. There is a superior religion which we do not reveal to the vulgar. That religion unites creatures together. It makes spouses, not martyrs.

“Bear in mind our conversations. Say to yourself that I love you, and come. I await you at my house. I shall have a post-chaise in an adjoining street.”

Marius was astounded after reading this. Abbé Donadéi actually suggested an elopement to Mademoiselle Claire. It is true his letter was pervaded with incense, with rakish, cloudy mysticism, which hid the brutal meaning of his thoughts beneath the devout and fondling sweetness of words; the sense was paraphrased, diluted in that odd style of expression which some Roman Catholic priests affect, but Abbé Donadéi had not been able to find a religious periphrasis for the post-chaise, and his hypocritical letter ended coarsely, by a gendarme-like offer which no one could misinterpret. The graceful abbé, to have cast aside the sly prudence that guided him in all his acts, must have been carried away by fierce desire.

The clerk read and re-read the letter, asking himself what he had better do. He felt indignant, his anger rose within him. But one anxiety restrained him. He was ignorant as to the harm that had been done, he did not know what Mademoiselle Claire thought, and he was afraid lest Donadéi, in the mysterious seclusion of the confessional, had not already succeeded in troubling the young girl’s heart. Before striking the priest he wanted to be sure that he would not, at the same time, strike his victim. For nothing in the world would he have run the risk of creating a scandal that would certainly have killed M. Martelly.

He resolved that if the abbé were to be the only one to suffer, to punish him in an original way. He took the prayer-book and went to Mademoiselle Claire in great alarm lest her face should display incriminating emotion.

CHAPTER XVII

IN WHICH SAUVAIRE MAKES UP HIS MIND TO HAVE HIS MONEY’S WORTH OF FUN

MADEMOISELLE CLAIRE MARTELLY was a tall, handsome girl of twenty-three, whom circumstances had thrown into devotion. She was to have married one of her cousins, who was accidentally drowned at Endoume during a pleasure trip. Despair had brought her nearer to God, and, little by little, she had tasted such sweetness in frequenting churches that she had fallen asleep, as it were, in the penetrating perfume of the incense, soothed by the murmuring voices of the priests.