Complete Works of Lewis Carroll (76 page)

Bruno adopted his favourite expedient of tapping his forehead; while Sylvie gazed earnestly upwards, as if she hoped for some suggestion from the birds, who were singing merrily among the branches overhead.
But no result followed.

‘What does an Apple-Tree begin with, when it wants to speak?’
Sylvie murmured despairingly, to the irresponsive birds.

At last, taking a leaf out of Bruno’s book, I ventured on a remark.
‘Doesn’t "Apple-Tree" always begin with Eh!"?’

‘Why, of course it does!
How clever of you!’
Sylvie cried delightedly.

Bruno jumped up, and patted me on the head.
I tried not to feel conceited.

‘So the Apple-Tree said "Eh!
What are you going to do with all those Apples?"
And Bruno said "Please, Sir, I want them for my Picnic."
And the Apple-Tree said "Eh!
But I hope you wo’n’t bake any of them?"
And Bruno said "No, indeed I wo’n’t!

Ripe Apples are so nice and so sweet, they want no baking!"‘

‘They never doesn’t—’ Bruno was beginning, but Sylvie corrected herself before he could get the words out.

‘"They never doesn’t nohow want no baking."
So Bruno put the Apples in the hamper, along with the Bread, and the bottle of Milk.
And he set off to have a Picnic, on the top of the hill, all by himself—’

‘He wasn’t greedy, oo know, to have it all by himself,’ Bruno said, patting me on the cheek to call my attention; ‘‘cause he hadn’t got no brothers and sisters.’

‘It was very sad to have no sisters, wasn’t it?’
I said.

‘Well, I don’t know,’ Bruno said thoughtfully; ‘‘cause he hadn’t no lessons to do.
So he didn’t mind.’

Sylvie went on.
‘So, as he was walking along the road, he heard behind him such a curious sort of noise—a sort of a Thump!

Thump!
Thump!
"Whatever is that?"
said Bruno.
"Oh, I know!"
said Bruno.
"Why, it’s only my Watch a-ticking!"‘

‘Were it his Watch a-ticking?’
Bruno asked me, with eyes that fairly sparkled with mischievous delight.

‘No doubt of it!’
I replied.
And Bruno laughed exultingly.

‘Then Bruno thought a little harder.
And he said "No!
it ca’n’t be my Watch a-ticking; because I haven’t got a Watch!"‘

Bruno peered up anxiously into my face, to see how I took it.
I hung my head, and put a thumb into my mouth, to the evident delight of the little fellow.

‘So Bruno went a little further along the road.
And then he heard it again, that queer noise—Thump!
Thump!
Thump!

"Whatever is that?"
said Bruno.
"Oh, I know!"
said Bruno.
"Why, it’s only the Carpenter a-mending my Wheelbarrow!"‘

‘Were it the Carpenter a-mending his Wheelbarrow?’
Bruno asked me.

I brightened up, and said ‘It must have been!’
in a tone of absolute conviction.

Bruno threw his arms round Sylvie’s neck.
‘Sylvie!’
he said, in a perfectly audible whisper.
‘He says it must have been!’

‘Then Bruno thought a little harder.
And he said "No!
It ca’n’t be the Carpenter a-mending my Wheelbarrow, because I haven’t got a Wheelbarrow!"

This time I hid my face in my hands, quite unable to meet Bruno’s look of triumph.

‘So Bruno went a little further along the road.
And then he heard that queer noise again—Thump!
Thump!
Thump!
So he thought he’d look round, this time, just to see what it was.
And what should it be but a great Lion!’

‘A great big Lion,’ Bruno corrected her.

‘A great big Lion.
And Bruno was ever so frightened, and he ran—’

‘No, he wasn’t flightened a bit!’
Bruno interrupted.
(He was evidently anxious for the reputation of his name-sake.) ‘He runned away to get a good look at the Lion; ‘cause he wanted to see if it were the same Lion what used to nubble little Boys’ heads off; and he wanted to know how big it was!’

‘Well, he ran away, to get a good look at the Lion.
And the Lion trotted slowly after him.
And the Lion called after him, in a very gentle voice, "Little Boy, little Boy!
You needn’t be afraid of me!
I’m a very gentle old Lion now.
I never nubble little Boys’ heads off, as I used to do."
And so Bruno said "Don’t you really, Sir?
Then what do you live on?"
And the Lion—’

‘Oo see he weren’t a bit flightened!’
Bruno said to me, patting my cheek again.
‘‘cause he remembered to call it "Sir", oo know.’

I said that no doubt that was the real test whether a person was frightened or not.

‘And the Lion said "Oh, I live on bread-and-butter, and cherries, and marmalade, and plum-cake—"‘

‘—and apples!’
Bruno put in.

‘Yes, "and apples".
And Bruno said "Wo’n’t you come with me to my Picnic?"
And the Lion said "Oh, I should like it very much indeed!"
And Bruno and the Lion went away together.’
Sylvie stopped suddenly.

‘Is that all?’
I asked, despondingly.

‘Not quite all,’ Sylvie slily replied ‘There’s a sentence or two more.
Isn’t there, Bruno?’

‘Yes,’ with a carelessness that was evidently put on: ‘just a sentence or two more.’

‘And, as they were walking along, they looked over a hedge, and who should they see but a little black Lamb!
And the Lamb was ever so frightened.
And it ran—’

‘It were really flightened!’
Bruno put in.

‘It ran away.
And Bruno ran after it.
And he called "Little Lamb!
You needn’t be afraid of this Lion!
It never kills things!
It lives on cherries, and marmalade—"‘

‘—and apples!’
said Bruno.
‘Oo always forgets the apples!’

‘And Bruno said "Wo’n’t you come with us to my Picnic?"
And the Lamb said "Oh, I should like it very much indeed, if my Ma will let me!"
And Bruno said "Let’s go and ask your Ma!"
And they went to the old Sheep.
And Bruno said "Please, may your little Lamb come to my Picnic?"
And the Sheep said "Yes, if it’s learnt all its lessons."
And the Lamb said "Oh yes, Ma!

I’ve learnt all my lessons!"‘

‘Pretend it hadn’t any lessons!’
Bruno earnestly pleaded.

‘Oh, that would never do!’
said Sylvie.
‘I ca’n’t leave out all about the lessons!
And the old Sheep said "Do you know your A B C yet?
Have you learnt A?"
And the Lamb said "Oh yes, Ma!
I went to the A-field, and I helped them to make A!"
"Very good, my child!
And have you learnt B?"
"Oh yes, Ma!
I went to the B-hive, and the B gave me some honey!"
"Very good, my child!
And have you learnt C?"
"Oh yes, Ma!
I went to the C-side, and I saw the ships sailing on the C!"
"Very good, my child!

You may go to Bruno’s Picnic."‘

‘So they set off.
And Bruno walked in the middle, so that the Lamb mightn’t see the Lion—’

‘It were flightened,’ Bruno explained.

‘Yes, and it trembled so; and it got paler and paler; and, before they’d got to the top of the hill, it was a white little Lamb—as white as snow!’

‘But Bruno weren’t flightened!’
said the owner of that name.
‘So he staid black!’

‘No, he didn’t stay black!
He staid pink!’
laughed Sylvie.
‘I shouldn’t kiss you like this, you know, if you were black!’

‘Oo’d have to!’
Bruno said with great decision.
‘Besides, Bruno wasn’t Bruno, oo know—I mean, Bruno wasn’t me—I mean—don’t talk nonsense, Sylvie!’

‘I wo’n’t do it again!’
Sylvie said very humbly.
‘And so, as they went along, the Lion said "Oh, I’ll tell you what I used to do when I was a young Lion.
I used to hide behind trees, to watch for little Boys."‘ (Bruno cuddled a little closer to her.) ‘"And, if a little thin scraggy Boy came by, why, I used to let him go.
But, if a little fat juicy—"‘

Bruno could bear no more.
‘Pretend he wasn’t juicy!’
he pleaded, half-sobbing.

‘Nonsense, Bruno!’
Sylvie briskly replied.
‘It’ll be done in a moment!
"—if a little fat juicy Boy came by, why, I used to spring out and gobble him up!
Oh, you’ve no idea what a delicious thing it is—a little juicy Boy!"
And Bruno said "Oh, if you please, Sir, don’t talk about eating little boys!
It makes me so shivery!"‘

The real Bruno shivered, in sympathy with the hero.

‘And the Lion said "Oh, well, we wo’n’t talk about it, then!
I’ll tell you what happened on my wedding-day—"‘

‘I like this part better,’ said Bruno, patting my cheek to keep me awake.

‘"There was, oh, such a lovely wedding-breakfast!
At one end of the table there was a large plum-pudding.
And at the other end there was a nice roasted Lamb!
Oh, you’ve no idea what a delicious thing it is—a nice roasted Lamb!"
And the Lamb said "Oh, if you please, Sir, don’t talk about eating Lambs!
It makes me so shivery!"
And the Lion said "Oh, well, we wo’n’t talk about it, then!"‘

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

THE LITTLE FOXES

‘SO, when they got to the top of the hill, Bruno opened the hamper: and he took out the Bread, and the Apples, and the Milk:

and they ate, and they drank.
And when they’d finished the Milk, and eaten half the Bread and half the Apples, the Lamb said "Oh, my paws is so sticky!
I want to wash my paws!"
And the Lion said "Well, go down the hill, and wash them in the brook, yonder.
We’ll wait for you!"‘

‘It never comed back!’
Bruno solemnly whispered to me.

But Sylvie overheard him.
‘You’re not to whisper, Bruno!
It spoils the story!
And when the Lamb had been gone a long time, the Lion said to Bruno "Do go and see after that silly little Lamb!
It must have lost its way."
And Bruno went down the hill.
And when he got to the brook, he saw the Lamb sitting on the bank: and who should be sitting by it but an old Fox!’

‘Don’t know who should be sitting by it,’ Bruno said thoughtfully to himself.
‘A old Fox were sitting by it.’

‘And the old Fox were saying,’ Sylvie went on, for once conceding the grammatical point.
‘"Yes, my dear, you’ll be ever so happy with us, if you’ll only come and see us!
I’ve got three little Foxes there, and we do love little Lambs so dearly!"
And the Lamb said "But you never eat them, do you, Sir?"
And the Fox said "Oh, no!
What, eat a Lamb?
We never dream of doing such a thing!"
So the Lamb said "Then I’ll come with you."
And off they went, hand in hand.’

‘That Fox were welly extremely wicked, weren’t it?’
said Bruno.

‘No, no!’
said Sylvie, rather shocked at such violent language.
‘It wasn’t quite so bad as that!’

‘Well, I mean, it wasn’t nice,’ the little fellow corrected himself.

‘And so Bruno went back to the Lion.
"Oh, come quick!"
he said.
"The Fox has taken the Lamb to his house with him!
I’m sure he means to eat it!"
And the Lion said "I’ll come as quick as ever I can!"
And they trotted down the hill.’

‘Do oo think he caught the Fox, Mister Sir?’
said Bruno.
I shook my head, not liking to speak: and Sylvie went on.

‘And when they got to the house, Bruno looked in at the window.
And there he saw the three little Foxes sitting round the table, with their clean pinafores on, and spoons in their hands—’

‘Spoons in their hands!’
Bruno repeated in an ecstasy of delight.

‘And the Fox had got a great big knife—all ready to kill the poor little Lamb—’ (‘Oo needn’t be flightened, Mister Sir!’
Bruno put in, in a hasty whisper.)

‘And just as he was going to do it, Bruno heard a great ROAR—’ (The real Bruno put his hand into mine, and held tight), ‘and the Lion came bang through the door, and the next moment it had bitten off the old Fox’s head!
And Bruno jumped in at the window, and went leaping round the room, and crying out "Hooray!
Hooray!
The old Fox is dead!
The old Fox is dead!"‘

Bruno got up in some excitement.
‘May I do it now?’
he enquired.

Sylvie was quite decided on this point.
‘Wait till afterwards,’ she said.
‘The speeches come next, don’t you know?
You always love the speeches, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I doos,’ said Bruno: and sat down again.

‘The Lion’s speech.
"Now, you silly little Lamb, go home to your mother, and never listen to old Foxes again.
And be very good and obedient."‘

‘The Lamb’s speech.
"Oh, indeed, Sir, I will, Sir!"
and the Lamb went away.’
(‘But oo needn’t go away!’
Bruno explained.
‘It’s quite the nicest part—what’s coming now!’
Sylvie smiled.
She liked having an appreciative audience.)

‘The Lion’s speech to Bruno.
"Now, Bruno, take those little Foxes home with you, and teach them to be good obedient little Foxes!
Not like that wicked old thing there, that’s got no head!"‘ (‘That hasn’t got no head,’ Bruno repeated.)

‘Bruno’s speech to the Lion.
"Oh, indeed, Sir, I will, Sir!"
And the Lion went away.’
(‘It gets betterer and betterer, now,’ Bruno whispered to me, ‘right away to the end!’)

‘Bruno’s speech to the little Foxes.
"Now, little Foxes, you’re going to have your first lesson in being good.
I’m going to put you into the hamper, along with the Apples and the Bread: and you’re not to eat the Apples: and you’re not to eat the Bread: and you’re not to eat anything—till we get to my house: and then you’ll have your supper."‘

‘The little Foxes’ speech to Bruno.
The little Foxes said nothing.

‘So Bruno put the Apples into the hamper—and the little Foxes—and the Bread—’ (‘They had picnicked all the Milk,’ Bruno explained in a whisper) ‘—and he set off to go to his house.’
(‘We’re getting near the end now,’ said Bruno.)

‘And, when he had got a little way, he thought he would look into the hamper, and see how the little Foxes were getting on.’

‘So he opened the door—’ said Bruno.

‘Oh, Bruno!’
Sylvie exclaimed, ‘you’re not telling the story!
So he opened the door, and behold, there were no Apples!
So Bruno said "Eldest little Fox, have you been eating the Apples?"
And the eldest little Fox said "No no no!"‘ (It is impossible to give the tone in which Sylvie repeated this rapid little "No no no!"
The nearest I can come to it is to say that it was much as if a young and excited duck had tried to quack the words.
It was too quick for a quack, and yet too harsh to be anything else.)

‘Then he said "Second little Fox, have you been eating the Apples?"
And the second little Fox said "No no no!"
Then he said "Youngest little Fox, have you been eating the Apples?"
And the youngest little Fox tried to say "No no no!"
but its mouth was so full, it couldn’t, and it only said "Wauch!
Wauch!
Wauch!"
And Bruno looked into its mouth.
And its mouth was full of Apples!
And Bruno shook his head, and he said "Oh dear, oh dear!
What bad creatures these Foxes are!"‘

Bruno was listening intently: and, when Sylvie paused to take breath, he could only just gasp out the words ‘About the Bread?’

‘Yes,’ said Sylvie, ‘the Bread comes next.
So he shut the door again; and he went a little further; and then he thought he’d just peep in once more.
And behold, there was no Bread!’
(‘What do "behold" mean?’
said Bruno.
‘Hush!’
said Sylvie.) ‘And he said "Eldest little Fox, have you been eating the Bread?"
And the eldest little Fox said "No no no!"
"Second little Fox, have you been eating the Bread?"
And the second little Fox only said "Wauch!
Wauch!
Wauch!"
And Bruno looked into its mouth, and its mouth was full of Bread!’
(‘It might have chokeded it,’ said Bruno.) ‘So he said "Oh dear, oh dear!
What shall I do with these Foxes?"
And he went a little further.’
(‘Now comes the most interesting part,’ Bruno whispered.)

‘And when Bruno opened the hamper again, what do you think he saw?’
(‘Only two Foxes!’
Bruno cried in a great hurry.)

‘You shouldn’t tell it so quick.
However, he did see only two Foxes.
And he said "Eldest little Fox, have you been eating the youngest little Fox?"
And the eldest little Fox said "No no no!"
"Second little Fox, have you been eating the youngest little Fox?"
And the second little Fox did its very best to say "No no no!"
but it could only say "Weuchk!
Weuchk!
Weuchk!"
And when Bruno looked into its mouth, it was half full of Bread, and half full of Fox!’
(Bruno said nothing in the pause this time.
He was beginning to pant a little, as he knew the crisis was coming.)

‘And when he’d got nearly home, he looked once more into the hamper, and he saw—’

‘Only—’ Bruno began, but a generous thought struck him, and he looked at me.
‘Oo may say it, this time, Mister Sir!’
he whispered.
It was a noble offer, but I wouldn’t rob him of the treat.
‘Go on, Bruno,’ I said, ‘you say it much the best.’

‘Only—but—one—Fox!’
Bruno said with great solemnity.