And most of all, fuck me.
Because when I reached into my back pocket and only came up with the annotated map Bob Hannah had given me and then frantically rifled through my other pockets and found them likewise empty, then and only then did I remember that last night I'd put both my wallet and passport inside the accordion folder, figuring they'd be safer there than in the pockets of my rapidly disintegrating suit.
And so fuck Lee Holloway most of all, the imbecile who'd misread every situation and made every wrong choice. There was no leaving. The city was not finished with me. The little mother still had me in her claws.
Â
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y cell phone was history,
Prague Unbound
had gone the way of the folder, and the map Bob Hannah had given me was so scarred with creases, inked circles, and crisscrossing pencil lines that it would have been no help in trying to find Vera's parents' house even if it had included street names and tram lines, which it didn't.
I had no address and no money for a cab and ended up pilfering train fare from a jar of loose change I found in Tomášek's bedroom, a space so tidy and well-organized that it was hard to believe it belonged to a five-year-old much less one descended from my brother.
I ended up going all the way across the river to Můstek station, then back across it to HradÄanská, onto tram 18, off at OÅechovka, and through the wide pristine streets and to Lomená,
just like I had when following Vera. The sky was a faultless blue immensity, and the neighborhood looked even more pleasant by the light of the morning sun. Dignified without being imposing, the kind of retiring, unassuming place where you could imagine yourself leading the uncomplicated life of someone in a home furnishings catalog.
I strolled right up the bricked walkway, past a neat lawn polished by last night's rain, and into the cool shade of the trees flanking the front door. I rang the bell and stood around inhaling the scent of pine needles. A few moments later the door opened to reveal not Vera but an older version of her, a quizzical woman with gray hair in an unruly pile atop her head. She audibly gasped, one hand reaching for her chest, her mouth contracting in a withered pucker. She was looking at Tomášek's father. There wasn't a doubt in her mind.
I asked if Vera was around. She fishmouthed a moment longer and then yelled something over her shoulder. Deep in the recesses of the house someone yelled back. Mrs. Svobodova hollered again, louder and with a lot more words, and moments later a small old man in thick glasses tottered around the corner. He was wearing a gray sweater and a permanently harried look. As Vera's mom gave him an earful, he looked me up and down and didn't seem to reach any conclusions one way or another. When she finished he addressed me.
“What can I help?” he said in a leaden accent.
“Sorry to bother you. I'm looking for Vera.”
“Vera is not here.”
“Do you know where I might find her?”
Before he could answer, his wife unleashed a barrage of verbiage, each volley prompting him to sigh or shrug or issue terse rebuttals that did nothing to slow her attack. They carried on like this for what seemed an eternity, neither so much as glancing
at each other, both keeping their eyes focused on the unshaven object of debate. Then all at once they were taking turns saying the same phrase, and I realized it was directed at me.
“
Ona je v parku Stromovka
,” mumbled the man.
“
Stromovka sady
,” she repeated.
“Stromovka park,” the man clarified. “Do you know where is this place?”
“I'll find it,” I said. “Thank you very much.”
I walked back down the pathway and they resumed arguing behind me. Eventually one of them shut the door, but I'm sure that didn't end the discussion. I didn't know if Mrs. Svobodova wanted to pummel little Tomášek's father for leaving him and Vera to their own devices for five years or whether she was flustered with excitement because meeting him meant maybe there was a chance he had returned for good. Maybe he even had a certified check for a half a decade's worth of child support payments. Vera said she never spoke about Paul, and her parents must have wondered all these years who'd fathered the kid. Too bad I didn't speak Czech, or we could have had tea and coffee and compared notes on all the things about Vera and Paul we didn't know.
Thirty-five minutes later I reached the dense green stillness of Stromovka, an expanse sloping upwards into the distance as if here, exactly here, was where the city ended and beyond lay untrammeled wilderness. The illusion was quickly dissipated as I entered and saw couples holding hands along the rain-softened gravel footpath, people out walking their dogs, mothers pushing baby strollers, and all those other things civilized people do on a normal Sunday morning, but it was still jarring after the time I'd spent in the old parts of an old city whose every inch was layered in old stone.
After a few minutes wandering I was getting some idea of the immensity of the place. It would take hours just to walk its perimeter, not to mention all the grounds inside. I took out my
map and sure enough, Stromovka covered more territory than all of Old Town. The chances of randomly stumbling upon Vera and Tomášek were about the same as my chances of finding the Rudolf Complication hung suddenly ticking about my neck. I'd hoped the map might give me a hint as to what the park's attractions might be other than birch tree groves and slopes of patchwork grass, but all it showed was what looked to be a pond at the park's center. A yellow square on Soros's map showed that it wasn't far from where one of the Right Hand of God bodies was found in 1990, if Hannah's reading of the document had been correct. And as I looked at that yellow square, all at once those crisscrossing lines made sense. Soros hadn't found some bizarre pattern, though he was looking for one. By penciling directional arrows on the lines he'd drawn, I now saw they were connecting the body sites chronologically, starting with 1988 and finishing at 2006.
On and on the lines went, slicing across the city to connect the victims in chronological order. If these markings actually corresponded to real-life crimesâand Bob Hannah seemed to think at least some of them didâthen what had Soros been hoping to gain by showing this to Bob Hannah? If he'd been under the employ of Martinko KlingáÄ, then why had he approached Hannah after the Right Hand of God article? He'd been interested in me and Vera because of Paul and the Rudolf Complication. But where did Hannah fit in?
I put away the map and tried to put these questions out of mind. With no idea where in the park to look for Vera, I ended up just following some lady pushing a two-year-old in a baby stroller and yapping on her phone some thirty yards ahead of me. She had a kid; maybe she was going somewhere kids go. I don't know where she and her little tyke ended up because after five minutes I spotted Vera and Tomášek in the distance adjacent one of the footpaths. Lee was climbing some orb-shaped and spiny piece of old playground equipment that looked like a Sputnik satellite. Vera was sitting on a bench not far away, her back to me as she unscrewed the cap of a thermos. She was wearing a purple scarf tied tight around her head, buccaneer rather than babushka style, no wig beneath.
She never saw me approach. I sat down beside her, watched the steam rise from her thermos. Tomášek had climbed the ladder and was inside the orb, peering out from the oval-shaped opening. On the other side of the orb, a rickety plastic slide descended to a muddy landing pit filled with several inches of standing water. We were sitting next to an empty swing set, and behind us was a merry-go-round painted fire engine red.
“Where's the folder?” I said.
Vera jumped. Coffee spilled onto her sleeve.
She didn't look at me. “Gone.”
“What do you mean gone? Gone where?”
“In the pond.” She screwed the lid back onto her thermos. Tomášek was sticking his foot out of the hole now, wiggling around a yellow rubber galosh. Vera took a tissue from her pocket, dabbed the spilled coffee on her sleeve. There was another kid inside the Sputnik too, one sticking a red sleeved, pale hand through the same opening. The sound of Tomášek giggling reverberated inside the orb.
“You threw the folder in a pond. Here in the park?”
“That's right.”
I flashed to an image of papers floating across its surface. Me diving in, gathering what I could salvage. But after my dip in the Äertovka canal, I'd had enough swimming for one trip.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you wouldn't.”
“Especially not with my passport and wallet inside.”
She shrugged. “You'll figure something out.”
“Did you even look inside before you tossed it?”
She looked away and didn't answer. I barely had enough energy left to heave a proper sigh much less get worked up into a righteous fury. Itchy thoughts about Vera's latest action all but proving there had been something in the folder to implicate her I left unscratched, lest my whole brain get inflamed. What was done was done. I just wanted to get out, go home. Which would now mean a trip to the American consulate, wherever that was. Concocting a story about my lost passport and wallet. Copious amounts of alcohol, a band of pickpockets, a transexual prostitute skilled in martial arts. Whatever lie I told them was bound to be more feasible than the truth.
A little girl in a red dress came down the slide. She launched off the end and sailed through the air, her stringy hair fanning out behind her as she landed just beyond the puddle. Tomášek
followed. He didn't fare as well, coming down with a muddy splash that set them both giggling as they ran off towards the merry-go-round.
“We used to come here,” Vera said. “Paul and me. Not to the playground, but Stromovka. In the summer we would bring some beer and just lay around on a blanket drinking and talking. Or not talking. Doze off under the sun, wake up beneath the moon. You can still see stars at night in Stromovka. I remember one afternoon, Paul, he took off his shoes and when he woke up he could only find one. We searched everywhere in the dark but the other shoe was gone, vanished. He had to walk home without it.” She smiled a little. “You went to my parents' house? This is how you found me?”
The little girl in red darted out from behind a tree and Tomášek followed in squealing pursuit, but he didn't have a chance. She leaped into a fenced-off flowerbed, leading Tomášek right into the thick of it, both of them trampling rows of daisies. Vera yelled and her kid froze guiltily in place, then gave her a smile that asked how much trouble he was in and how much the smile could get him out of. Next to the flowerbed sat the same sign I'd seen last night in Charles Square.
No pets step on
.
The message read the same backwards and forwards. A palindrome, of all the useless things to notice.
“Vera, I need to ask you a question.”
“Aren't you tired of questions?”
“Listen, I know you're sick.”
Her eyes met mine, slid away. “That's not a question.”
On the path next to us, a pair of guys came by on mountain bikes, and Vera waited until the sound of their tires crunching over the gravel had passed. “Cancer,” she said. “I'm sick with cancer. I don't know the English for what kind. Tumor on the brain. Very special, very rare. My last treatment was four months
ago. The results were not what was hoped. Soon I start another. If this one doesn't work, well, that's that. Not many people survive. But then almost everyone who has this cancer is very old. Or they have HIV.” She slowly unscrewed the lid of her thermos, watching for my reaction before showing me a wan smile. “Don't worry, I'm very special. Very rare. I don't have HIV or anything else you can catch. You're safe. At least from me.”
The coffee had gone cold now, giving off no steam as she raised it to her lips. I didn't know what to say.
“Assuming the treatment goes well . . . ” I started.
“The cancer leaves and I get better,” she finished. “Otherwise, I have a few months left. With luck maybe longer. But it will be months, they say. Not years.”
So there it was, the reason for her letter and its timing. She was dying and wanted to unburden her conscience about the watch heist. About her role in Paul's death. She didn't want to involve the police because, well, who wanted to spend the last months of their life dealing with cops and lawyers? More importantly, she wanted my father to know about what Paul had left behind when he disappeared. She wanted him to know about Tomášek. She wanted him to meet his grandson.
“Vera,” I said, my voice just audible over the whispering trees, “why didn't you tell me about Tomáš that first night at the Black Rabbit? Or in the letter you sent. It would've saved us both a lot of trouble.”