Concealed Attractions (Cedar Island Tales) (49 page)

“A condom
mean
s
the guy
has
to
take responsibility, right?”

“True, and you already know that promise
s to pull out don’t work.
”
Angela looked over at her
pat
ient.
“Right?”

Danni
nodded. 

“So, what do you prefer?”

“I don’t think I need
it
, but if I were to use anything, I guess an IUD. Will it affect my milk supply?”

“Not the one
s
I
recommend. You won’t even know it’s there and when—in the future—you decide you want another child, all you have to do is have it removed.”

“
Ok
ay
. I’ll go with the IUD.”

“Great.  Since you’ve decided
, shall we put it in now?”

“You can do that?”

Angela grinned.
“Yes, and now that you’re
more than
four weeks postpartum, it’s perfectly safe to
use
. When did you stop bleeding?” She
looked
back at her chart. “Never mind,
it says here, the end of the first week. Is that what you remember?”

She nodded. “I
t’s been ages.”

As
Danni
prepared
to leave
the examining room
, she
glanc
ed
back
at
D
octor
Wright
. “I think this
birth control business is
a
huge
waste of time
.
Nothing’s
going
happen any time soon.
”
But her brain kept replaying images of Ben and that kiss that wou
ld have knocked her socks off had she
been wearing any
. Besides,
he’d never said he loved her
or even asked to sleep with her. He was
so
not Steve
.

“I understand. Think of it this way,
Dannilynn
. Preventing a problem is a lot easier than trying to cure it. The
sam
e goes for
b
irth control.”

Ben
looked
over the clinical schedule he was expected to complete through the summer and into the next academic year. Every day that brought him closer to the
end
of May weighed on him.
Danni
still
hadn’t moved back home
and her mom hadn’t raised the issue either
.
Maybe now was the time to ask her again.

“I’d really like you to come with me
. You know, when I go back to Pullman
.
You could take classes at WSU just as easily as
at
Buckley.
”

She
looked
over at him as he rubbed her feet. “You know
what
my dad would think about that,
going with you
.
Since we’re
not
…
”

“
I don’t see
why you
even
care
what he
think
s
.
Has your mom said anything
?
”

Danni
sighed and pulled her bare feet away from his strong hands. “I haven’t talked
to
her
about it
. And s
he would miss Jimmy. I need to decide this on my own.”

“
Then
why are you letting your father’s reaction—if he even knew about it—
influence you
?”

“I don’t know anything about
Pullman
, and maybe
I’m
n
ot
smart
enough to get good grades there
.
Besides, I’m used to quarters and WSU is on the semester system.
I don’t know anybody
in Pullman
, and
I don’t want to have to leave Jimmy with
a stranger
.
” She
was
peer
ing back
at him thr
ough a curtain of dark strands that prevented him from seeing
her expression.
“And, you’ll be too busy for me
to depend on you.”

“
No
t any
more than now.
Maybe less, since
I won’t be working nights and weekends
.”

“But this
is my home. I know people here
.”

“It’s time you expanded your horizons,
Danni
. People are nice
on the east side
. L
ook
at me. I’m from there.” H
e smiled,
hop
ing
to lighten her mood
, sensing he wasn’t making any headway
.

“
Maybe
you
’re
an exception to the rule,” she whispered, when he rose and leaned over to give her a kiss
, a kiss she
returned with feeling, a kiss he
wished would last forever
.
Ever since Jimmy’s birth, she’d been kissing him
every now and then
. Kisses and hugs that left
him
feeling dazed and
eager for
more.

H
e finally asked,
“What kind of exception? Who else do you know from east of the mountains?”

“
I’ll
have to get back to you on that.
”
Her hand slid
across his back as he
stood up
.

He
took
Jimmy from her
and sat down in the rocking chair, cuddling the baby
to
his chest.
“You do that,” he said, and breathed in the scent of
Jimmy’s
hair, a combination of
baby
shampoo and
his own
unique s
cent
.

Danni
headed for
the kitchen. “It’s my turn to co
ok
dinner.
Can we discuss this later?”

“
Sure
.”
But he feared her answer would still be no.

The next day, she asked,
“Will you hold
Jimmy
?”

“Doe
s the sun come up every morning?
”
He
reached for the baby and grinned
at
Jimmy
, his red-gold hair shining in the sun.
The baby
waved his arms
and settled next to Ben’s chest
.
Jimmy
grasped
Ben’s
little finger and pulled it toward his mouth.

“You can’t be hungry again, li
ttle guy. You just let go.
Or maybe you’re just exploring
.
”

The baby opened his mouth and sucked on the finger, closing his eyes for a moment,
before
look
ing
intently at
Ben
’s
face
. He sneezed
once, twice
,
and his
eyes widened
in surprise
.

Ben chuckled
.
“
Not catching a cold, are you, kid?
I wond
er what color your eyes will be.
They seem a little
muddy to stay blue.
Whatever
color they are
, they are beautiful
,
just like your mother’s
.
”

Was this how his father had
been
with his first-born? Ben reveled in how
he felt when he played
with
and took care of
Jimmy
. He
held
Jimmy
up over his head
until
the baby
squealed and started kicking his legs
.

“Y
ou and me
, kid. W
e
have to decide what s
ports you’re going to play. W
hat do you think? S
occer
maybe
? You’ve got the fingers
of
a pianist, just like your auntie
Julie
. She’s got long fingers, too,
and plays
a
really mean
piano
.
Or maybe basketball
? How tall are you going to be?
I think we’ll start you with T
-ball,
and then ease you into
baseball. I’m not sure I’m into Little League, but knowing how to throw a
nd catch a
ball is good.
I can teach you in two shakes.
Then we can team up against
your uncle
Dan and your cousin
Mark
and see how we do.
We’ll work on your mom to get you to start next year,
after you’re walking,
okay
?”

Jimmy
bobbed his head in
agreement
.

Ben
watched
as the baby tried
to mouth
one
of his knuckles
again
, mad
e a face,
and start
ed
to fuss. “I hear you
. Time for
the real thing.
O
kay. Let’s go get her.
”
He
walked into the kitche
n to tell
Danni
she was needed.

“I think Jimmy’s catching a cold. Let’s make sure he’s bundled up when we take our walks.”

Danni nodded. “If he sneezes again,
I’ll
take him to see Doctor Wright after work tomorrow.”

The next day, Angela finished listening to Jimmy’s heart and lungs. She used the nasal aspirator and waited for him to stop squalling.

“I think it’s just a cold, Danni. I
find
nothing to suggest anything serious.
Or he could have an allergy. Didn’t you say you are allergic to certain molds, the pollens from the pine trees in the spring? That sort of thing?”

“Yes, but nothing much has started blooming yet.”

“Doesn’t
matt
er. What he’s reacting to could be something entirely different from what sets you off. Just watch him.
Use the nasal aspirator if he has trouble clearing his nose. And i
f he starts to run a fever, bring him in
. I see no reason to treat him for something I can’t identify
.”

Danni watched the baby
for other signs, but he seemed his usual self until later in the week, when he began to snuffle again and have trouble breathing when he nursed, alternately pulling away, fussing,
and
then going back to the breast.

She
called the clinic.
“Jimmy seems
to have a cold and
I don’t
wa
nt to take him out until he feels
better.
”
She was puzzled that he seemed so fitful, but he didn’t have a fever.

Ben said he would ask Joel if he could delay his trip to the south end of the island, but Danni told him, “No, you go ahead. I’ll take him in
again
if he gets worse.”

Ben
kissed her and gave Jimmy
, cradled in Dannie’s arms,
a gentle
pat
.
“I’ll be back late tomorrow,
hon
.
I’m sure he’ll be fine. Just one of those allergies Angela mentioned.”
He waved to her as he drove off.

Danni
spent most of th
e
day
and evening
trying to get
Jimmy
to nurse. He
did so
spasmodically
through
out
the day
, but
continue
d to have dif
ficulty clearing his nostrils. When s
he used the nasal aspirator
Angela had given her
, Jimmy objected, first crying and then coughing
.