Confessions of a Heartbreaker (26 page)

"It's nothing."

My dad raises a brow skeptically as if he doesn't quite believe me. I'm hoping that if I stonewall him long enough, he'll just get frustrated and go away. Because there is no way in hell I'm having a conversation with him about a chick that I have feelings for.

That sounds like the makings of some cheesy after school special.

And I don't do cheesy. I only do dumbass and stupid. There's a huge difference.  Huge.

"Is this about that girl?"

That girl.

I almost snort because Jordan has never been
that girl
. Nope, she's pretty much been the
only girl
. The only girl who has ever set me on my ass and confounded the hell out of me. You know, there was a time (and I'm seriously talking like two months ago) when I knew what I was doing with the opposite sex. All I had to do was smile, give a little wink and I had all the rated R action I wanted. It wasn't complicated. It was almost too damn easy. Now, it's anything but. And let me tell you, there hasn't been any rated R action in quite a while. You know what's more disturbing than that? I don't even give a shit. Okay, yeah, I give a shit... but what matters most is Jordan. Rated R action or not. Because she means so much more to me than that.

Crap... this just keeps getting worse and worse.

"Her name's Jordan, isn't it? She's the one who was tutoring you."

The fact that he knows her name is a fairly shocking turn of events. I guess he's been paying more attention than I thought. Or my mom just filled him in. I'm going with door number two.

"Yeah." Well, if he thinks I'm going to make this easy on him just because he guessed her name right, he's got another thing coming. We are still not having
this
conversation. Like ever.

"Did you guys have a fight? Did you do something to make her mad?"

I can't help it. My eyes narrow before settling on him once again. "Why are you assuming that this is my fault?" It's not like he could possibly know that this is totally my fault. But his assumption aggravates me. Like he thinks I'm just a total fuck up. Actually, that's probably
exactly
what he thinks.

He blinks before saying, "Because we're guys. It's always our fault. Haven't you learned that by now?"

Something finally loosens within me and I actually snort. And here's a real shocker- his lips pull slowly up into a facial expression that almost resembles a... a... smile.
Whoa
. I didn't even know my dad could do that. Especially when looking at me.

"So just apologize for what you did. Give her some flowers and a card. Make it better."

After a long moment I sigh, "It's not that easy, dad. I really fuc-" my eyes immediately widen before I back track, "Uh, messed up. I messed up big time. Trust me, flowers aren't going to cut it." Jordan's not just some girl who's going to be impressed with a vaseful of roses. I don't even want to think about where she'd more than likely shove those flowers.

And yeah, that thought has my ass puckering.

"Hmmm," this time he looks at the ceiling as if he's seriously contemplating my options, "What about writing her a song or some poetry. Girls like that kind of stuff. It's romantic. Shows a certain amount of effort on your part."

"I don't know, she's pretty pissed off." And she has every right to be. I'm certainly not going to deny that. Nope, taking full responsibility for this one.

Apparently Parker 2.0 still has a few bugs that need to be worked out.

The gears are just beginning to turn in my head when he lays a heavy hand on my shoulder. Man, what's with everyone doing that lately? It's really starting to creep me out.

His solemn eyes hold mine. I guess I kind of forgot that my dad and I have the same deep blue colored eyes. Sometimes it doesn't feel like we have anything in common at all. "Do you care about her?
Really
care about her?"

Damn, how the hell did I get sucked into a conversation about my feelings with my dad of all people?

As I hold his eyes, I see something within them that actually surprises me. And that would be a little something called- genuine interest. Even though I wouldn't have thought in a million years that I would be discussing Jordan with my dad, I decide that maybe I should go for it. You know, put it all out there. After all, what do I really have to lose at this point?

Just my self-respect and dignity. Well, what's left of it anyway. Which seriously isn't much...

"Yeah, I do. Probably more than I've ever cared about anyone else before."

My dad looks a little surprised by my admission. "Then she's worth fighting for."

And we're back to square one because I haven't a clue what I can do to win her over.

Again
.

Because I pretty much had to win her over the first time around so that she'd even give me a chance to prove that I wasn't some egotistical douche bag player. Hmmm, guess that backfired in my face because apparently that's exactly what I ended up proving that I was.

"I really hurt her. I don't think she's ever going to forgive me."

"But don't you have to at least try?" He searches my eyes before adding, "You know, we Montgomery men can act like," he pauses, "
tools
every once and a while."

I think my mouth just fell open. Did my dad seriously just call himself a
tool
? Remember that whole bizarre parallel universe thing? Yeah, definitely feeling it right now.

Okay, I think I have to hear this again. "So, ah, you're saying that you can act like a
tool
sometimes?"

I hate to admit this, but I'm feeling kind of giddy right now. Maybe it's childish, but I don't give a rat's ass. This is the first time since the whole Jordan thing went down that I've felt marginally better. Hearing my dad refer to himself as a
tool
seems like the very least he could do to bolster my spirits.

One brow arches before he rolls his eyes at me. No, for real. He actually rolls his eyes! "Yes, Parker, I can act like a
tool
sometimes." Then he adds drily, "Does that really make you feel better?"

I can't help the smile that tugs my lips upwards. "Actually, yeah, it does. Just say it one more time. Please?"

My dad chuckles. "Okay, but this is the last time- sometimes I can be a
tool
. Happy?"

I laugh as he says the words. Oh God, I don't know why that's so damn funny but it is. It
so
is! He actually laughs with me. I can't believe this. Here we are- me and my dad- in my room laughing. I'm trying to think back to the last time this happened and I honestly can't remember. I can't remember when we laughed together. You know what? It's kind of nice. Nice that we can have a conversation that doesn't end with him yelling and me totally pissed off.

Maybe there's hope for us yet.

After a few minutes we both sober up. And the issue of Jordan settles heavily over me once more.

"Look, you need to think about Jordan and what matters to her and go from there."

I can't help but shake my head in frustration because that's all I've been thinking about for the past few days. "I really don't know what I can do to get her to listen to me much less actually forgive me."

"You're a smart guy, Parker, you'll figure something out."

My mouth doesn't quite fall open this time but yeah, feeling pretty stunned by
that
admission.

He holds my eyes for a long moment before sighing. "I should probably tell you that more often because you
are
smart. Your mom's right- you have a lot of potential and I just get mad when I see you squandering it." Then he adds, "I have faith that you'll figure this out. Maybe the fact that this girl isn't falling all over herself for you is a good thing. For once in your life you need to work for it."

I can't help but grumble, "How's that a good thing?" Because honestly, I wouldn't be going through any of this BS if she'd just get with the program and act like all the other girls I've known. But that's not Jordan.

And yeah, it's just one of the reasons I like her.

"Well, I doubt you would be this interested if she just fell into your lap like all the others. Plus you really got the chance to know her, right? Would you have necessarily done that if she hadn't made you work for it?"

That has me frowning because I can see where he's coming from. "I guess not."

"Girls have always come a little too easy for you, Parker. And most of the time, that's not the way life is. You have to work for the things you want. It's not always handed to you. And girls, have pretty much been handed to you."

I can't help but smile at this surreal conversation my dad and I are having. Who would have thought that we'd actually have a bonding moment over chicks?

And yeah, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth too.

But still, I think my dad might be on to something. Trust me, I know, total shocker. I've never actually taken any advice from my dad. Let alone advice that pertains to the female population. I mean, come on, he's my
dad
... What the hell does he know about girls?

And we're going to stop that train of thought right there before I actually throw up all over myself.

"Alright, I'm going to go help your mom with dinner." He eyes me for a moment. "She's making beef stroganoff, garlic bread, and homemade double chocolate chip cookies."

I can't help but brighten. "My favorites."

He arches a brow. "Yes, that certainly seems to be the theme around here lately." Then he adds, "Get this figured out before I gain any more weight, please."

"I'm trying." Just as he's about to shut my door, I say, "Thanks for the advice, dad." Again, never thought I'd hear those words coming out of my mouth. But you know what? They're absolutely true.

Yep, I think the world just fell off its axis.

"Glad I could help."

Once again I stack my arms behind my head. Okay. Something that matters to Jordan. What can I do that will 1) get her to talk to me without kneeing me in the balls and 2) get her to forgive me without kneeing me in the balls.

Unfortunately I'm not generating a whole lot of ideas.

But my dad is right.

And the day just keeps getting more and more bizarre...

Jordan matters to me. She matters more than any other girl ever has. The last thing I want is to lose her. I don't want to dwell on the very real possibility that I might have already lost her. And even if she is willing to somehow, miraculously forgive me, she's still moving to Boston.

I can't help but scrub a hand down my face in frustration.

Looks like I really screwed myself this time.

Which unfortunately also seems to be the general theme around here lately.

Chapter Twenty-Two

So after the discarding of roughly twenty potential strategies, I have finally come up with a plan to win Jordan back. Or at least get her to hear me out. Umm, without placing my nuggets in harm’s way.

And yeah, it's a total risk. I could end up making a huge ass out of myself. Worse, it might not even work.

At this point it's either go big or go home.

So I'm going big.

I mean, come on people, of course I'm going big...
duh.
Would you really expect anything less from me?

I don't think so.

Now, in order for this half-baked scheme to actually have a snowball’s chance in hell of succeeding, I need a few things to work like clockwork or this whole operation (aptly dubbed
operation win back Jordan's heart
- and yeah, I'm focusing all my energy on the plan, not the name of the plan, so deal with it) is going to go to shit faster than you can say-
aw hell.

And trust me, I've already said
aw hell
more times than I can count (which is in no way an indictment against the public school system I've been attending for the previous twelve years, although maybe it should be).

Now, for any good plan to succeed, it needs to have at least two trusted as well as willing accomplices.

Check and check.

"Dude, you sure you want to do this?"

Of course Max is one of my willing accomplices.

Were you seriously expecting someone else?

I nod because come hell or high water, I'm going through with this. If this little demonstration doesn't show Jordan just how much she means to me, then, well, nothing will.

"The real question is- are you sure you want to be involved? Because this will, more than likely, land our asses in detention. For like a month." And that's probably the minimum. I don't even want to think about the
maximum
punishment.