Confessions Of A Karaoke Queen (39 page)

‘Like blonde Psychology students with a hatred of lemon meringue pie? No. We’ve nothing to prove except to the people we care about, and that’s something we’ll do on our own time. Getting up there without need is just as bad as everything Evan’s done to us. It’s public spectacle.’

‘If that’s the plan,’ says Simon, lifting his shoulders.

Ruby wrinkles her nose. ‘It’s not much of a plan …’

‘It’s all I have,’ I say, a little snappily. ‘What were you expecting, gunpowder?’

‘I think it’s sensible,’ decides Jaz. ‘And I think it’s very brave to say you’ll do it.’

‘It’s the least I can do,’ I mutter.

‘Evan’s relying on the fact we’re all afraid.’ Simon pulls at the sleeves on his woolly jumper, unravelling a bit at the cuffs. ‘He’s convinced he’ll get away with it, that’s what pisses me off – never mind what he’s done to us, what about what he did to Gary?’

Jaz pauses in plaiting Andre’s hair. ‘Who’s Gary again?’

‘It’s Loaf!’ cries Ruby impatiently.

‘Ah.’

I roll my eyes: I’ve been through this about five times. As soon as I was done at Loaf’s I explained the whole thing to them all – it’s vital we know that we’re not just dealing with a cut-throat TV exec, but someone potentially very dangerous – but I think I lost Jaz somewhere between double-barrelled surnames and Milli Vanilli.

‘Look,’ I say, ‘let’s not lose sight of the ideal scenario: that Friday night goes off without a hitch and we can all go home at the end of it and back to the rest of our lives.’ I smile faintly. ‘It might still happen.’

‘What I want to know is how we’re going to get Archie back.’ Ruby raises her eyebrows at me questioningly. ‘We never should have lost him in the first place.’

‘P’raps he
wanted
to leave,’ suggests Jaz. ‘Do we know how much Evan paid him?’

I shrug, despair washing over me at the thought of dear Archie, and the fact I have no idea where he is and neither will my parents.

There’s a brief silence while we all contemplate this. Then somebody speaks.

‘I’ve got an idea how much he was paid.’

It’s Alex. I’d all but forgotten he was here, he’s been so quiet. I’m also able to count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he’s volunteered information when we’ve all gathered like this – especially when it concerns Evan.

‘What?’

Alex clears his throat. ‘There’s something I want to, uh, get
off my chest,’ he says, fiddling with the thin silver chain round his bronzed neck.

‘What is it?’ Jaz clutches Andre to her, his feet sporting little tartan fur-lined slippers (who’d have thought it? Fur on fur).

‘You’ve all been so nice to me since I arrived.’ He throws me a nervous smile. ‘Well, most of you …’

I narrow my eyes. ‘Why do I feel like you’re about to prove me right?’

Alex blows out through his mouth. We notice that he directs the following at Jaz, as if it’s only her reaction he really cares about.

‘Evan hired me to replace Archie,’ he confesses. A collective intake of breath whips round the booth and Ruby slams her glass down on the bar with such force it nearly shatters. ‘Days before Archie left, he came direct to the modelling agency where I worked and booked me in under five minutes. I think he’d been here once and seen you all, and, well …’ He trails off, before finishing feebly, ‘Quickest casting of my life!’

‘You snake!’ Ruby puts her hands on her hips.

Jaz shrugs. ‘I’d have done it.’

‘I bet you would,’ bites Simon.

‘That’s why you could never look me in the eye,’ I say, shaking my head in wonder. ‘You actively avoided me, you never gave anything away … I
knew
something was up!’

Alex looks sheepish. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘At the beginning it was just a paycheck, but then I started to get to know you all and I felt really bad. Especially around you, Maddie – talking to everyone here brought home how much you
valued Archie, and what was riding on this whole gig for your parents.’

‘Oh, bring out the violins!’ snaps Ruby.

‘Hang on,’ I say wearily, trying to be fair. ‘Alex isn’t to blame – he was looking for a break like the rest of us. He wasn’t to know what Archie meant to the club or the nature of Evan’s agenda. To him it was just a job.’

Alex sends me a grateful smile.

‘And you really have no clue what you’re doing behind a bar.’ Simon shakes his head and gives a short laugh. ‘That figures.’

‘Sorry,’ he mumbles. ‘By the time I realised how much I liked you guys’ – he and Jaz lock eyes – ‘I mean really liked you, I didn’t have the guts to say anything. It was never the right time and before I knew it you’d all sussed out Evan and I couldn’t fess up without seeming like a traitor.’

‘You couldn’t resist the chance to get on TV, is that it?’ demands Simon.

Jaz deposits Andre on the table, his feet slipping apart like a skier before he rights himself. ‘
We
couldn’t, could we?’

‘I always wanted to get on TV,’ Alex goes on. ‘Everyone said I should model, but really I wanted to act—’

‘Same here!’ trills Jaz.

‘Doesn’t everyone?’ I mutter.

‘—so this seemed like a good opportunity …’

‘How much, then?’ interrupts Ruby. ‘How much was Archie worth?’

‘I’m not sure,’ Alex murmurs. ‘At least twenty grand, maybe thirty … maybe fifty. I think …’

‘
Fifty grand?
‘

‘That’s enough,’ I butt in, ‘you don’t need to explain, Alex. All that matters now is what lies ahead – and we need to be sure of two things. First, do you know anything about Evan and Friday? And second, are you with us or with him?’

Alex expands his sculpted chest. ‘I don’t know anything about Evan’s plan, and that’s the truth. What I do know is that Evan, Nick and Nathan keep disappearing for these “urgent chats” – but what they’re talking about, I have no idea.’

I pretend Nick’s name doesn’t cut into me. ‘And are you in or out? Our side or theirs?’

‘In,’ he says without hesitation. ‘Yours. Whatever, I’m with you.’

Simon’s sceptical. ‘And we’re meant to believe this guy?’

‘I suppose we’ll have to,’ says Ruby, equally unconvinced.

But what choice do we have? I can’t mistrust everyone – if someone says they’re with me, I’ve got to take them at their word.

‘We’re in it together,’ I say, my voice trembling, ‘everybody here. There are five of us and one of him: Evan’s not getting away with anything on Friday. Even forgetting what Loaf told me, I’ve got enough ammunition on his private life to stun the entire nation. If he fires any my way, it’ll be him that goes down in flames.’ Everyone stares at me. ‘Or something.’

Tucking Andre under one arm, Jaz grabs Alex’s hand. ‘Come on,’ she says, ‘this calls for a celebratory song.’

‘Oh
no
,’ Simon moans, putting his face in his hands as they amble towards the machines, nattering about Alex’s TV break.
It relieves me that Simon and Jaz are getting back to something like their usual banter – even if it is with that awkward way you do when you’ve got off with someone when drunk and neither of you especially wanted to.

Simon leans in and drops his voice. ‘Have you heard from her?’ he asks tentatively. The machine cranks up Phil Collins’ ‘You Can’t Hurry Love’. I get a pang when I remember the conversation I had with Nick that day in Soho, and I squash it like a fruit.

‘No,’ I say. ‘My guess is she’s waiting it out till Friday’s over – I would. She can’t come back into this situation right now and I totally get that. Lou needs time, Simon, that’s all. She’ll come round.’ I sound more confident than I feel.

‘I hope so. I just want to get it over with so I can talk to her again. Then maybe she’ll agree to see me, hear me out.’

‘I’ve sent her texts explaining – and emails.’ I sigh. ‘Fuck it, what do I know any more? She hasn’t written back to any of them.’

‘Thanks, mate.’ Simon runs a hand through his hair. ‘I’m not giving up – I refuse to. Lou told me about her parents, how she was always second best, third best, whatever. That they never bothered about her, never wanted kids in the first place …’

‘Yeah.’ I miss my best friend so much.

‘That thing two weeks ago,’ Simon tosses Jaz a look, where she’s busy teaching Alex how to hold a microphone, Ruby escaping from the situation with fingers in her ears, ‘was pretty much the worst thing that could have happened.’

‘No kidding.’

‘She hasn’t been into work?’

‘I haven’t been in myself,’ I confess. ‘In fact I’ve decided I’m quitting Simply Voices.’

Ruby slips in next to me. ‘You’re doing
what
?’ she demands, concern etched on her face.

I nod. ‘After the show’s blown over I want to go away for a while,’ I say. ‘I think we could all do with a break, and I know for sure I need one.’

‘Understandable,’ agrees Simon, his mouth set in a grim line.

‘Hopefully time away will give me some perspective on all this – and right now I don’t feel like anyone’s going to miss me much.’

Ruby hooks her arm round me. ‘We’ll all miss you, Maddie,’ she says with feeling. ‘How long are you going for?’

‘I’m not sure,’ I say. ‘As long as it takes.’

As soon as the others are gone and I’m back in the flat, I resolve to call Lawrence. I’ve got half an hour before the cameras show up and I decide to use it wisely. If Lawrence is a real friend then he’ll understand why I’m ringing – and if I’m wrong, he’ll get why I might be jumping to conclusions. Really I’m just praying it will put my mind at rest. Two days ahead of Pineapple’s closing night, the more people I know are on my team, the better.

After a quick shower and two cups of very sweet tea, I dial his number. The first call fails but on the second attempt he picks up almost instantly.

‘Mads!’ There’s a slight strangle to his voice, like I’ve caught him by surprise.

‘Can you talk?’ In the background I can hear the bustle of a busy shop. I have this image of Lawrence behind a meaty counter in rubber boots (or is that the fishmonger’s?) with bright red hands and a stained blue and white apron, a giant pig’s head staring vacantly over his shoulder with an apple stuffed in its mouth.

‘Yeah,’ he says, flustered, ‘just got to wash my hands …’

‘I mean if you’re at work, don’t worry—’

‘I don’t have a job,’ he interjects swiftly. ‘I mean, I’m in Soho, at an audition.’

‘OK …’ I say. ‘It’s just a quick call. There’s um … something I need to ask you.’

‘Yuh, what is it?’

‘Look, please don’t take this the wrong way, but—’

A loud bump on the other end of the line. ‘Sorry, sorry.’

‘Well, it’s been brought to my attention that’ – god, I sound like a dick – ‘I mean, I’ve reason to think that …’

‘Hurry up, Maddie, I’m freezing.’ His teeth are chattering.

‘Where are you?’

‘Erm, outside.’

‘It’s sunny outside.’

‘I’ve got a cold,’ he snaps. I can hear a low industrial buzz and I wonder if he’s standing in a fridge, surrounded by strung-up cow thighs. I’d better hurry up.

‘You’re coming on Friday, right?’ I ask.

‘Yuh …?’

I dive in. ‘Of course it’s really silly but I just wondered if maybe Evan Bergman had been in touch with you about it without me knowing.’ I laugh, high-pitched. ‘It’s stupid, isn’t it? Of course he hasn’t. I mean, why would he? But if he had,
you’d tell me, wouldn’t you? About Friday. If Evan had talked to you about Friday.’

Silence.

‘Lawrence? You still there?’

‘Sorry, yuh. No. I mean, no, never heard of him.’

‘You’ve never heard of Evan Bergman?’ I’m confused. ‘Right now the whole
country
’s heard of Evan Bergman.’

‘Oh,
that
Evan Bergman – sorry, right, thought you meant someone else.’

This is doing nothing to reassure me. Quickly I try to steer things back on track. ‘Lawrence, answer the question. Evan’s not spoken to you, has he?’

‘Of course not!’ A little shriek. ‘I’ve really got to go, Mads. I’ve, um, got a meeting.’