Confessions of a Litigation God: A Legal Affairs Full Length Erotic Novel (41 page)

When I reach them,
Cal nods his head at me and says, “Matt.”

I nod back in
acknowledgement and then introduce Kylie to Cal, making sure that I
say she’s a “contract” attorney so the temporary
nature of her time with our firm is reiterated. Cal shakes her hand
and asks her about her appellate work, and I take a moment to look at
Mac again. Her face is open and soft… no anger, no bitterness.

No missing me,
that’s for sure, and that does hurt a tiny bit.

My gaze drops to the
table and in an instant, I take in the document laying before Cal. It
has the words, “Business Plan, Carson & Dawson, LLC”
typed across the top. My eyes snap back to Mac’s for her to
confirm to me in a look, that yes… she and Cal are apparently
plotting to open up their own firm together.

I wait for a wave of
jealousy to overcome me, but it doesn’t. I wait for anger that
she’s abandoning me in favor of him to flush through me. It
never comes. Instead, I have a weird feeling of admiration settle
over me for what Mac is doing with her career.

And I embrace it.
She deserves to be happy and clearly, it wasn’t going to be
working at my firm.

And outside of
fucking my wife, which I’ll now admit may have been more on
Marissa’s doorstep than Cal’s, he is an excellent
attorney and would make a good business partner for Mac. Yeah…
I think I might be a little happy she’s doing something so
adventurous and taking control of her life. I may have lost control
of mine, but she’s got hers intact and if there’s one
thing that will never change about me… I only want the best
for her.

I smile at her then,
so she knows that I’m accepting the plans she’s making to
move on. She returns it, and even though both of us are smiling at
each other, make no mistake… there’s still sadness there
as well.

I facilitate
goodbyes and lead Kylie to a table across the room, far away from Mac
and Cal. I don’t look back at them again.

Instead, I focus all
my energy in to cutting ties cleanly with my current and most
pressing problem.

“Kylie,”
I tell her as soon as she takes her first bite of food. “There’s
no undoing what happened yesterday, and I’m going to need to
terminate your contract with my firm…”

Tomorrow is Mac’s
last day of work in my firm, and there is a very real possibility I
will never see her again. I’m sitting beside her—right
this very moment—in a cab, realizing that this may be the last
time I’m ever alone with her again.

The last two weeks
have flown by. I guess when you’re on borrowed time with
someone, the clock moves faster because time becomes more precious.
Mac and I have had no trouble working together as she wraps up the
cases she has been helping me on. I also tried to help her as much as
possible on the
Jackson
case, because even though she’ll
be taking it with her and I won’t see it through to the end, I
want her to be successful.

Our relationship has
been oddly peaceful. Don’t get me wrong… I still look at
her and can get consumed with such carnal greed, it almost knocks me
to my knees. Or, she’ll smile at me a certain way and my heart
twists in longing. But outside of that, we’ve settled into an
easy sort of friendship, I guess born of two people that knew each
other on the most intimate of levels, and haven’t had the
heartbreak of betrayal as the hammer that crushed said intimacy.

I took Mac with me
to Atlanta these last three days to help me with depositions, and it
was nothing more than a selfish move to have her near me. I knew
nothing would come of this trip other than having a very competent
attorney to assist me, and someone that could provide me with good
conversation. Things were very professional, and oddly… I was
okay with that. For once, I wasn’t letting my dick lead me.

We spent the days
deposing witnesses in a medical malpractice case and, at night, we’d
eat dinner and spend a few hours prepping for the next day’s
questioning. At night, we went to our own rooms, doing nothing more
than releasing a soft “goodnight” to the other person and
going to sleep alone.

Didn’t mean I
didn’t lie there and think about Mac, all naked, soft, and
smelling good in the room next door, but I didn’t do anything
about it other than jerk off to the memories of what we had.

As we were waiting
to board our flight back into New York, I told Mac about letting
Kylie go.

“I’m
releasing Kylie Wynn from her contract on the
Pearson
appeal,”
I’d told her as we stood in line to get on the plane.

“Really?”
Mac asked with surprise. “I thought she was an expert or
something.”

Or something,
I thought.

“I really just
needed the extra pair of hands more than anything. I know as much
about appellate law as she does. I was just short on time. Besides…
she got a little, uh… too personal with me.”

“I kind of saw
that coming,” she said in a slightly chastising voice, which
was well deserved on my part. “What did she do?”

“Just made a
pass at me in my office. I mean… a
really
awkward
pass,” I told her with a sheepish grin, but not sharing the
details.

Mac actually
giggled, and it was the most beautiful fucking sound in the world.
“What is it with you and female lawyers? First Lorraine…
and now Kylie. You’re like a magnet.”

My eyes went somber,
and I said quietly, “You were actually first… then
Lorraine, and then Kylie. But you were in a different league than
they were.”

My words were
truthful and left me exposed, but I don’t regret saying them. I
didn’t expect anything in return though, and before I could
give Mac an opportunity to respond, I said, “I brought up the
thing about Kylie because I was wondering if you would like to
contract with me to help me on the
Pearson
appeal?”

“What?”
she exclaimed in surprise.

“I saw the
business plan Cal was reading that day at lunch. I assume you two are
going to start your own law firm together?”

“Yes,”
she said almost hesitantly, as if worried that it would bother me.
“We are starting up a firm. While I would need to talk to Cal
about it first, I’d love to be able to do some contract work
for you. As you know, I really only have one case to my name.”

I smiled at her,
giving her a look that conveyed how happy and proud I was of what she
was doing, and also because she just confirmed to me that we may very
well still be working together in the future.

“Excellent,”
I told her. “We can discuss the details tomorrow before you
leave.”

It’s just past
midnight as we pull up to Mac’s apartment in the cab we shared
from JFK. It’s a familiar building to me and I have an odd
feeling of comfort seeing it, yet sorrow that I really won’t be
seeing it again.

When the cab comes
to a stop, I instruct the cabbie, “Pop the trunk,” and I
step out to help Mac with her luggage.

After pulling her
suitcase out, I push the trunk lid down until it latches and turn to
face her, handing over her carry on. “I’ll see you
tomorrow morning.”

She gives me a smile
as she takes the suitcase, and says, “Okay. See you tomorrow.”

She starts to turn
away from me, but not before I see something flash in her eyes that I
haven’t seen in a few weeks.

It’s regret,
and it fucking punches me in the gut.

Nothing Mac has done
or said the last few weeks has led me to believe that she is looking
backward. If anything, she seems to be very confident in her ability
to move on, and I’m the only one standing here swamped with
sadness, confusion, and longing.

But I just saw it…
a moment’s flash of regret that she’s walking away from
me, right at this very moment.

I don’t think…
I just put my feelings out there. Grabbing her wrist, I say, “Let
me come in with you?”

“Matt…”
she says, her voice uneasy and fearful. I move my thumb over the
pulse that is fluttering wildly under her smooth skin. Her breath
hitches, but she tries to put me off. “We shouldn’t. We
can’t. We’re not together anymore.”

Not acceptable.
Because even though her words are coming out all safe and sound, her
eyes are turbulently swirling with need.

I pull her toward
me, until she is just inches from my body, my thumb never giving up
on its movement over her pulse. “I know. I know we’re
not, and I know we shouldn’t. But… one last time?”

Her eyes darken, her
lips part, and a small breath of excitement flutters over her lips.
“One last time?”

“Just
tonight,” I assure her, although I’d gladly offer her
forever. “But it will be
all
night.”

Mac fucking
shudders… right there, standing on the sidewalk with her wrist
in my hand and the promise of all night fucking in her head.

She fucking
shudders, and I swell with deep aching.

“Okay,”
she says in capitulation, and I don’t wait another moment.

Releasing her wrist,
I say, “Let me pay the cab.”

I practically run to
the driver’s side and thrust a hundred dollar bill at the
cabbie, telling him to pop the trunk again. He does and I grab my
suitcase, turning to Mac.

We stare at each
other, both vibrating with a profound craving.

This hunger is
different from anything I’ve ever had with Mac before. It’s
pulsing inside of me because I haven’t fucked her in so long,
but it’s something else too. I’m not just craving to get
inside of her, I am utterly aching with the need to hold her…
to hear her voice, to worship her, to have her entire being envelope
me. I need Mac in a way that I’ve never needed anything in my
life, and rather than scare the shit out of me, I find it a humbling
experience.

Mac never says
another word. She just turns away and heads into her building. I
follow behind, the silent ride up in the elevator in no way awkward,
just intense, because there is a tangible passion brewing in the air
around us.

We walk into her
apartment, both of us striding right past Macy, who sits in the
living room, but I don’t even give her a glance. My mind is too
preoccupied with what I’m going to do to Mac tonight. I have so
many things I want to do, and if all I have is this one night, we
need to get started fast.

As soon as Mac shuts
the door, I let my gaze run over her body. I haven’t given
myself the true luxury of doing that the last two weeks, intent on
keeping everything as professional as possible. While I let her star
in my private fantasies at night, I don’t breach that divide
while at work.

I take my time,
scanning her beautiful legs, thinking of that spot right behind her
knee that’s ticklish when I kiss it. The swell of her hips, the
lushness of her breasts. I spend time looking at her throat, knowing
I’ll be sucking on that spot right where her pulse is hammering
against her soft skin.

Taking my jacket
off, I toss it across the suitcase and let my eyes finally meet
Mac’s. They’re heated, almost glazed completely over with
salaciousness. She just stares at me, her breasts pushing in and out
against the tightness of her blouse, because her breathing has
already become erratic.

Undoing my cuffs, I
step toward Mac, my fingers itching to touch her. I put them at her
temple and drag them across her head, all the way around the back,
catching her silky hair and letting it slide against me. I stare at
it as my hand runs through the entire length, and it releases to
float back down over her shoulder.

Bringing my eyes
back to Mac’s, I ask her, “Where shall we start?”

She licks her lips,
a move that seems to squeeze my cock from the inside out, and
whispers, “Anywhere you want.”

My mouth curves
upward licentiously, and I tuck my bottom lip in between my teeth for
a moment of consideration. Then it comes to me… where this
needs to begin. “It’s been too long since my face has
been between those beautiful legs of yours.”

Mac sucks in air
through her mouth, pushing those perfect breasts outward, and her
eyes swim in longing.

“Yeah,”
I tell her, my own voice raw with need. “We’ll start
there.”

Mac’s legs
actually give way a little from my words, which has me feeling like a
fucking caveman. I catch her around the waist and pull her toward me.
I know I told her I’d start between her legs, but that was a
lie.

I have to kiss her…
like right now, or I think I might die.

Fuck, what a kiss.

Deep, rich, sexy.

Warm, comforting.

Everything.

It’s fucking
everything.

I don’t let up
on the kiss and keep it rolling from my tongue to hers. My hands get
to work divesting her of clothing. When she’s naked and I can’t
stand another minute of not seeing her gorgeous body, I push her down
to the bed and let my eyes roam over her again.

She’s leaning
back on her elbows, perfectly pink-tipped breasts pushing outward to
me and begging for my teeth. Her skin is luminescent, her hair
falling in a stunning cascade over her back and pooling on the bed,
and her eyes… oh, fuck, her eyes.

They watch me like a
hawk while I start to take my clothes off. Mac has never been shy
about looking at my body and when I finally push my pants off and
stand before her naked, her eyes are pinned on my cock.

I swear the fucking
thing actually stands up straighter and preens under her attention. I
bring my hand up and grab ahold, sliding my grip along my shaft. I’ve
been getting myself off every night by my own hand, no differently
than I’m touching myself right now, but the fact that I’m
doing it while Mac’s eyes are on me is about one of the hottest
things ever, and I feel like I could unload at any moment.

Closing my eyes, I
lean my head back and moan just a little, so she knows how good it
feels to me.