Confessions of a Teen Nanny 01 - Confessions of a Teen Nanny (8 page)

He is so cute, Liz thought. But he looks a little weird. It's his eyes, Liz realized.They were red and kind of unfocused. Maybe he's drunk, Liz thought.

Parker looked at her again, and then reached into the basket on the table for an enormous piece of bread."I love bread," Parker said. "Do you love bread, Liz?"

He's not drunk, Liz realized. Parker is stoned.

Liz was not into drugs, but she certainly knew enough people who got high. She hoped it wasn't a problem for him.Well, he hadn't seemed stoned the last time she'd seen him. I'll just go with it and see what happens.

"No, no, no!" Cameron said to Brian as he tried to sit next to Adrienne."You always break up couples at a dinner party. Adrienne, you sit between Bandar and Achim, and Brian, you sit between me and Liz."

Bossy hostess though she was, Cameron soon had the table afire with conversation. Bandar bought horses for the Saudi royal family, and was totally fascinating, if, at thirty, too old and a bit oily. Achim was a cousin of Mimi's who had gone to school with Bandar in Switzerland. Bottle after bottle of champagne arrived at the table, and Liz was begin- ning to get a little nervous about splitting the bill when

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Bandar announced that he hated the champagne they were drinking, and that he could never drink champagne at fifty dollars a bottle if there was something better to be had.

"So," he said,"since I do not feel I can force you all to pay for my extravagances, this whole dinner is on me." Everyone at the table cheered as Bandar called the waitress over and ordered different champagne. Liz caught Adrienne's eye across the table, and both girls smiled at each other, totally relieved. Adrienne leaned over and whispered to Liz, "Did you get carded at the door?"

"No. I said I was with Cameron and Mimi."

"Us, too."

"Money must take care of everything!" Liz grinned. She turned back to Parker."That's very nice of Bandar, isn't it?" she said.

"Actually," Parker said,"though I'm happy to drink his champagne, I think he's kind of an asshole."

Liz giggled."Why do you say that? He seems perfectly nice, to me."

Parker looked her right in the eyes."Liz, what kind of guy takes seven kids in high school out for an expensive dinner? He's thirty."

Parker's right, Liz thought. It's totally creepy.

Liz and Parker talked some more. The more cham- pagne Liz drank, the better and better Parker looked and sounded. He leaned closer toward her, put his hand on her

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knee, and the room seemed to melt away.

Oh. Hold on. Going too fast. Gotta talk to Adrienne, a voice inside her head said suddenly. She made eye contact with Adrienne and pointed toward the restrooms.The two girls got up and left.

"This place is so cool," Adrienne said, once inside. "Did you see that the table next to us has Tyra Banks and that girl who won American Idol?" Adrienne seemed a little overwhelmed.This was not Van Rensselaer.

"I know." Liz smiled. "And Parker is the best." The two girls screamed and jumped up and down for a second, until an older woman walked into the women's room.The two girls attempted to look cool.

"I'm so happy for you!" Adrienne said, and reapplied some lip gloss. "Don't you think that Bandar is hilarious?" She shook out her new hairstyle.

"I'd watch out for him," Liz said. "I mean, what kind of guy takes out high school kids for dinner?"

"He's a friend of Mimi's cousin. I think he's cool," Adrienne said defiantly. "His best friend is a Saudi prince. I don't think we are in a position to refuse his hospitality," she said loftily.

Liz smiled. Adrienne was obviously repeating some- thing that Cameron had said. She never would have come up with that on her own. "Adrienne, you're starting to sound a lot like Cameron."

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"I'm learning a lot from Cam."

"Oh, so now suddenly she's `Cam' to you?"

"Come on, Liz! I'm having fun, and so are you. Parker looks like he's really into you."

"I think he is," Liz confided. "Listen, we'd better go back outside."

The two girls made their way through the crowded room. They ate the amazing dinner that Bandar ordered, and drank bottle after bottle of the incredible champagne. Aside from Tonia calling Bandar `Band-Aid' by mistake, everything went really well.

Wow, Liz thought, I've had a lot more to drink than I thought. I'm pretty bombed. She looked next to her at Brian. He was staring at Cameron, who was staring back at him intently.

"I know you must be a big music fan."

"I am," he said. "I go to a lot of concerts."

"But have you ever been to a concert at Madison Square Garden in a corporate skybox with backstage passes?" Cameron asked huskily. She reached over deliberately and put her hand on his arm.

"No way!" he said, laughing. "I can't afford those!"

"It's the only way to see a concert.Trust me," she said, looking into his eyes.

"Oh, I trust you all right," Brian said, laughing. "I'm sure it is."

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"So," Cameron said, leaning closer and closer. "If you trust me, how about joining me on Saturday night at Madison Square Garden for the Radiohead concert?"

"Are you serious? You can get tickets to that?"

"Brian doesn't really like Radiohead," Liz said suddenly.

"I do, too," Brian said, looking surprised.

"I thought so," Cameron said."In fact, I have the tickets already." She smiled the sweetest of smiles.

Liz stared at the two of them, and then glanced at Adrienne. Did she see what just happened? No. Adrienne was listening to Bandar's boring stories about his high school in Switzerland.

Liz glanced at her watch. It was almost eleven. She was buzzed, and she had to go. She turned to Brian. "Hey, Brian, I have got to go. I have a curfew. Do you and Adrienne want to go with me?" She hoped he would. She didn't want Cameron to get her claws into Brian any fur- ther than she already had.

"Curfew?" Cameron shrieked. "Liz, that is so cute! You guys! Liz has a curfew!"

There she is, thought Liz. That's the Cameron Warner I know.

"That was pretty bitchy," Parker whispered."I'm sorry. Can I put you in a cab?"

"That would be really nice, Parker. Thanks." Liz gave him a big smile. "Are you coming, guys?"

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"I'm going to stay," Brian said."I can take the express to Washington Heights."

"Well, aren't you sweet!" Cameron said, and kissed Brian on the cheek.

Liz moved over to Adrienne and pulled her away from Bandar. "Adrienne, I have to go. It's getting late."

"I'm so glad you came!"Adrienne said, obviously hav- ing had too much of Bandar's champagne.

"No, Adrienne, seriously. I'd watch Cameron. She's had too much to drink, and she's all over Brian."

"She's so nice!" Adrienne said, pushing Liz away.

"Adrienne!" Liz whispered. "I think you should take Brian home--now!"

Adrienne looked at her friend and focused. "Okay," she said,"I get the message.Thanks.You okay by yourself?"

"I'm okay," Liz said, nodding toward Parker. "Talk to you tomorrow."

Parker walked Liz upstairs, out of the busy restaurant and onto the quiet, darkened streets of Greenwich Village.

"I love it downtown," Liz said, as they passed the Magnolia Bakery and the Mark Jacobs store.

"Me, too. It's so quiet and charming here. Hey, you want to split a cupcake?"

Liz looked at her watch. Eleven. Pumpkin time. "I wish I could. I have to get home, though."

"No problem. Rain check." He raised his arm, and

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hailed a cab heading up Hudson Street. Liz was about to slide in when Parker took her by the waist and gave her a kiss.

Parker's warm hands moved up and down her back. His tongue gently explored her mouth, and he breathed softly, pulling her closer to him. He ran his fingers up and down her bare arms, and her whole body burst into goose bumps.

Now that was a really good kiss, she thought.

"I think I wanted that a lot more than a cupcake," he said. "See you."

"Bye," Liz said, for the lack of anything better.

The cab sped up the West Side Highway, and Liz looked out over the glittering Hudson River and the breathtakingly tall new apartment buildings. The city was beautiful. She thought of gorgeous Parker and the kiss. Tonight, everything was beautiful.

116

dazzled

W ednesday afternoon at school,Adrienne texted Brian for the third time.

Where is he? she wondered. It never takes this long to hear from him. She stared at her phone, silently willing him to text her back. Maybe his cell was out of juice or some- thing.

"Hey!"Tamara said, coming up behind her."Girl, you look terrible! Are you sick or something?"

"Not exactly," Adrienne said. "A little stressed. I have a world history test next period. And Brian is not texting me back."

"Where is he?"Tamara asked."Why wasn't he in class today?"

"He wasn't in class today?" Adrienne said. Brian had never missed a day of school before--he was obsessed with being there every day. His older brother, Jimmy, had had a perfect attendance record in high school, and Brian was

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trying for one, too. It had never even occurred to her that he might not even be in the building.

"No. He didn't show, and he missed the serious study session for Monday's physics test,"Tamara said. "He would be toast, if only . . ."

"If only what?" Adrienne asked.

"If only I hadn't made a copy of my perfectly taken physics notes for him."Tamara smiled and handed over the pages to Adrienne. "You tell Brian he owes me one. And, the two of you can pay me back by making sure you come to my birthday on Saturday. No excuses, okay? We are going to get down at this little joint in Williamsburg. It is a Brooklyn party, Adrienne--leave the Prada at home!" She laughed and gave Adrienne a quick hug. "I'm serious. You've been hanging with those Fifth Avenue bitches too long." Tamara stopped. "Sorry. I care about you. Anyway, give those notes to Brian when you see him and, remem- ber, I'll see you on Saturday--or else!" Tamara took off down the hall as the next bell rang.

Adrienne pressed her head against her locker. She took a deep breath. Something was wrong. She didn't know how she knew--she just felt it. She had to talk to Liz.

Adrienne pulled out her phone and texted her friend.

BRI MIA ????

Within seconds, the phone rang. It was Liz.

"Hey!" she said. "What's up? Where's Brian?"

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"I don't know. He's not in school. I'm starting to freak a little."

"Are you sure nothing happened Friday night after I left?" Liz asked.

"Nothing. I told you--we hung out for a while, and then Brian and I went home."

"I still think something was going on between Brian and Cam," Liz said.

"Liz, nothing was going on. Brian and I are fine. You may not trust Cameron, but I do trust Brian.Anything hap- pening with Parker?"

"No," Liz said, "He hasn't called me. Is that weird? Should I think that's weird? I was thinking about calling him . . . but then I think no--right?"

"I don't know--"

"Listen, I have to go. The bell's ringing. I have class. Don't worry. Brian's probably under the covers at home, sick or something. Later!" She hung up.

Adrienne smiled. Liz was probably right. Brian's prob- ably fine. It's nothing to stress about.

At the end of the day, Brian finally showed up at school, sliding into his seat in English class between Adrienne and Tamara.

"Where have you been?"Adrienne whispered to him. "I was worried about you." She slid him Tamara's notes.

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"You'll never believe where I was. I was on my way to school, and I get this call from Cameron."

Adrienne stopped smiling. Friday night at Khmer, she had noticed that Cameron was too friendly, but she had decided not to make a big deal about it. She trusted Brian, but this was way different. Cam should know better-- calling another girl's boyfriend was not done.

"And . . . ," Adrienne said.

"Yeah, and?" Tamara said, leaning forward.

"So, Cam calls, and says she's cutting school today because her dad got her into a recording studio in Midtown to watch P. Diddy lay down the final tracks for his album."

"So?" Adrienne said. "Cam can afford to skip school. She doesn't need the grades.We do."

"That's right," Tamara said. "But P. Diddy? That is so cool!"

"I know it!" he said sheepishly. "I couldn't pass it up, so Cam and I went. It was AMAZING.We met Jay-Z and Beyonc�. Cam knew everybody. It was like her party! And they had all this food, and everyone was hanging out and dancing, and I just had to stay."

"Jay-Z?"Tamara said. "Really?"

"Really," Brian said.

"Well," Adrienne said. She knew her voice sounded strange--too high-pitched."I'm glad that you had such an amazing time."

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She couldn't believe it. Brian of all people--her down-to-earth boyfriend--was dazzled by the money, caught up in the world of the megarich. The idea of it almost made her laugh, until the reality of what was hap- pening hit her: Brian wasn't dazzled by the money. Brian was dazzled by Cameron.

Was Cameron trying to steal her boyfriend?

Liz was almost finished with school on Thursday, when her phone rang. Adrienne, I bet. I wonder what's hap- pening with Brian.

Luckily, Liz was in art class and the teacher was pretty laid back. She walked over to the sink and pretended to wash her paintbrush while quietly answering her phone.

"Elizabeth?" Dr. M-C boomed. "Where are you?"

"I'm at school, Dr. Markham-Collins. I'll be there in an hour or so."

"No, Elizabeth, I need you right now.You'll see why when you get here. Please hurry." She hung up.

I am so busted, Liz thought. I bet she noticed the missing shawl. Well, at least I only have gym left--I can cut that easily. Why did I take that stupid shawl . . . ?

The service elevator opened into Dr. M-C's kitchen. The first sound that greeted Liz was the buzz of an electric saw and hammering. Heather was sitting in a chair in the

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kitchen with her hands over her ears, and David was lying on the floor, moaning.

"Liz, make them stop! All the noise is shattering my nerves!" Heather whined.

"David, get up off the floor! What's going on?"

"They are tearing things up! For the magazine," David said. "Ow, my stomach hurts from your little cakes."

"My what?" Liz asked.

"You got a package, and David opened it. I hid it so he wouldn't get in trouble with Mommy," Heather said.

"Where is it?" Liz asked.

Heather went to a cabinet and pulled out a large white box. A card was attached: Can't stop thinking about you. I thought a dozen roses would be lame. Parker

Liz smiled and opened the box. Inside were what appeared to be the remains of a dozen cupcakes from the Magnolia Bakery."Oh, no," Liz said."David, you didn't eat all of these, did you?"

"Mommy picked us up from school early. She said she might need us for pictures, and then she said we couldn't leave the kitchen. There was no lunch, only soy nuggets. The cupcakes came.They smelled good. . . ."

"I had one," Heather said. "Only one! I was good."

"Oh, it's okay," Liz said. I sure hope he doesn't puke, she thought as David clutched his stomach. "Listen," she said, "let's get in there and see what's going on."

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Entering what had once been the dining room, Liz looked around in horror.

The ceiling was gone. The walls between the dining room and the library had been torn down and replaced by support columns.The hall had been completely destroyed. The mirrors that had formerly hidden Dr. Markham- Collins's office had been torn down. Her private office was revealed to be a pretty small and uninteresting place.

"Liz!" Dr. M-C hollered over the roar of power saws. "Can you believe it? Two hours, and the whole apartment reduced to a shambles!" She introduced a middle-aged woman in a Jil Sander suit and high heels. "This is Darby DuPlane, my new interior designer. Darby, this is my nanny, Liz."

Thank God this isn't about the shawl, Liz thought.

"Liz, come on over," Darby said."I want to show you what we're doing." Darby grabbed Liz around the shoul- ders, pulling Heather and David from her hands.The chil- dren stood, alone and nervous, in the wreckage that had been their home.

"I went through the house with a marketing analyst. The apartment was too cold. Too impersonal. Not child- friendly. It was just not the home of a woman who needs to be perceived as a quote GREAT MOM." Darby made quotation gestures with her fingers. "So . . . out with the Donghia and pale gray `don't touch me, please' suede, and

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contemporary art, and in with . . ." She pulled a sheet off an easel, revealing renderings of what the new interior of the apartment would look like.

Liz knew that she knew nothing about interior design, but she thought Darby DuPlane's plan, well, kind of sucked.

The apartment looked like it was going to be a Disney version of the lobby of a big hotel. Huge, over-upholstered sofas in vibrant chintzes, potted palms, and illustrations from famous children's books all over the walls.

"This apartment will say, `I'm accessible. I love kids. I have no secrets,'" Darby explained.

This apartment will say, "I have no taste at all," Liz thought. What is she thinking?

"Darby bought the illustrations from The Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham," Dr. M-C added. "It will be amazing."

"And no hiding behind mirrors," Darby said, wagging her finger at Dr. M-C.

"No," Dr. M-C agreed. "So hostile."

"Well, it looks incredible," Liz said. "Why don't I go back into the kitchen with the kids?" she suggested as a hunk of plaster crashed to the floor, showering them all with dust.

Heather began to wheeze.

"Good idea. Take them back to the kitchen," Dr.

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Markham-Collins said, never even acknowledging her own children.

"Mayra, get them out of the apartment!" Darby said. "Children need some air!"

"Liz, could you?" Dr. Markham-Collins asked.

"Sure thing," Liz said.

"Oh. And don't touch anything in the kitchen, and I mean anything. It's photo-ready, and it needs to be shot for New York magazine this weekend. And by that, I mean yes- terday, if you know what I mean!" She and Darby laughed as they left the room.

"I'm scared," Heather said, picking at her hair.

"My stomach hurts," David said for the thirtieth time.

"I totally understand." Liz peered quizzically at Heather. "Heather, why are you pulling at your hair?"

"Something is stuck in it. Like a rubber band. Or something."

"Did you put a rubber band in your hair?" Liz asked.

"No," Heather said.

"Let me see." Liz pulled Heather's head toward her.

Liz quickly discovered that the thing in Heather's hair was gum.

"Heather, were you chewing gum today?" Liz asked.

"No!" Heather screamed, quickly becoming hysteri- cal. "David threw gum at me at school. He did it! HE DID IT!"

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The two children quickly became screaming, crying, fighting messes, rolling around on the floor.

"Stop it!" Liz yelled, totally losing her cool."Heather, get off your brother! David, I am telling you right now that we need a serious, major time-out!"

"We can't have a time-out," Heather said."Our rooms are gone."

Liz reached into her bag and pulled out her cell phone.There was only one person in the world who could help.

Liz called her mother.

"Hi, honey! How's your day?"

"Later, Mom, later. I have an eight-year-old with gum in her hair, and a five-year-old who has eaten close to a dozen cupcakes.What should I do?"

There was a chuckle on the other end of the phone.

Liz was furious. Her mother was laughing at her!

"I'm sorry! It's just funny . . ."

Yeah. Funny, she thought.

"Mom!" Liz could hear herself start to whine.

"I'm sorry. Okay. Listen. The gum. Get some peanut butter and rub it in.The peanut oil loosens the gum.As for the cupcake kid . . . " Mrs. Braun began to giggle again.

Liz waited.This was so demeaning.

"Sorry. Now you know what it's like for me. Well, he'll either feel better, or he'll throw up. There's nothing

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you can do. It sounds absolutely dreadful, sweetheart. Do you want me to stay on the line while you try the peanut butter?"

"No, Mom, it's okay. I think I've got it. Thanks." Liz hung up.

Peanut butter.

Liz searched the kitchen. Finally she found peanut butter. Unfortunately, it was the organic kind.

"Let's give this a shot, Heather," Liz said kindly, working the peanut butter into the tangle and massaging it gently.

"That stinks!" Heather wailed. "And it hurts!"

"The gum will come out. I promise!" Liz insisted, glancing at the green-looking David.

"It won't!" Heather wailed. "You'll have to shave me bald!"

Liz glanced back at David, who was rolling on the floor. She prayed he wouldn't throw up in the photo-ready kitchen of Ms. Darby DuPlane.

Liz rubbed Heather's hair. The peanut butter wasn't working. The gum was stuck. Suddenly the door to the kitchen opened. Liz whirled around, covered in peanut butter, cupcake crumbs, and plaster dust.

"Well, you're a mess," said a familiar voice."Is this how you look during the day?"

It was Parker. Parker!!

Could this day get worse? Liz asked herself.

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"What are you doing here?" she asked. Is there any- where I can hide?

Smiling his killer smile, Parker walked closer. "I came to see if you got my cupcakes," he said."Cameron said you were down here, and I thought I'd visit. I wanted to see you again before I took off."

Cameron! Liz sighed. Of course, it wouldn't occur to her that I'm working!

"I'm covered in peanut butter," Liz said helplessly, for lack of anything better to say.

"I love peanut butter," Parker said with a grin.

"Who is he?" Heather demanded.

"Now I'm really going to be sick," David said, press- ing his face against the cool tile floor of the kitchen.