Confessions of a Teen Nanny 01 - Confessions of a Teen Nanny (9 page)

"Wait," Liz said. "Take off for where?"

Parker smiled."This weekend is when we all open our houses in Palm Beach. No one will be in New York this weekend.The Warners, the von Fallschirms, my family.We all take off tonight." He grinned. "Can we go out next week? Just you and me?"

"Sure," Liz said, and grinned.

Parker smiled again. "You are cute."

Despite Heather's whining and moaning, the gum miraculously loosened, and Heather cheered up. "I won't have to be bald?" she asked.

"No, Heather, you won't have to be bald," Liz said.

128 D A Z Z L E D

Just then, Dr. Markham-Collins entered the kitchen with Darby, her new evil sidekick. "Who's going to be bald?" she asked, confused."Elizabeth! Heather looks like a sandwich.What on earth is going on?" Walking farther into the kitchen, she noticed Parker. "And who are you?" she asked."Again, Elizabeth, these constant unapproved guests! What can I say . . ." She raised her hands in a gesture of despair.

"Dr. Markham-Collins, what a pleasure to finally meet you," Parker said, turning on his megawatt smile and his charm. "I'm Parker Devlin, Reed and Lauren Devlin's son."

Dr. Markham-Collins became a mass of social- climbing jelly. "Oh, Parker, how lovely to meet you!" she trilled. "Your father is a captain of industry, so important, such a philanthropist. Such a leader." She smiled. "What are you doing here?" she asked, seeming confused. She glanced around the apartment as if she was expecting Cameron or Mimi to be with the well-connected Parker.

"Well, Liz . . . whom I'm dating," he said, looking at Liz with a shy little glance, "has told me how great your kids are, and I would love to take them all to the museum. You obviously need a little space right now. Why don't I take them all out for a couple of hours, give them some- thing to eat in the patron's dining room, and get everyone out of your hair?"

129 C O N F E S S I O N S O F A T E E N N A N N Y

"You are dating Liz?" Dr. Markham-Collins asked incredulously. Then she suddenly caught herself. "Parker," she continued,"you are, I think, an angel sent to me and my children. And Liz is lucky. Thank you so much. Please tell your father that--"

Before Liz knew it, in a flurry of thanks, Parker had whisked all of them into the waiting elevator and out of the building.

The four of them trudged along Fifth Avenue in silence, when suddenly, and for the first time in Liz's mem- ory, Heather Markham-Collins began to laugh.

"I'm sorry!" she said, trying to stop. "Mommy was so funny! `Your father is a captain!'" she said, in perfect imita- tion of her mother. Her giggles grew into a huge, aching belly laugh.A laugh so infectious, it made David laugh, too. Before they both knew it, Parker and Liz were laughing, and the four of them walked into the Metropolitan Museum of Art covered with dust and laughing themselves silly.

Parker was an amazing guide.

The Metropolitan was like a playground. He showed Heather the rooms of French furniture that had belonged to princesses and queens, and he took David to see the Greek and Roman warriors and the Hall of Armor. They ran through the Costume Institute, and the halls of ancient

130 D A Z Z L E D

Chinese art, stopping in Astor Court to rest for a bit amid the gurgling of the pool where the golden fish made kiss- ing faces at them.

Finally, they made their way into the Egyptian rooms and the Temple of Dendur.

Standing in front of the Temple--a whole building removed from Egypt and rebuilt inside the Met--Liz looked at Parker. He's amazing, she thought. And he really likes me.

At that moment, Parker took her in his arms and kissed her. This time, she kissed him hard. His lips were strong and soft at the same time, and his hands pulled her closer to him.

The setting sun flooded the galleries, and a feeling of warmth ran through Liz's body, thrilling her from her head to her feet--her feet which suddenly felt too warm and too wet.

Liz broke away and looked down. She was standing in a puddle of what had once been a dozen cupcakes from the Magnolia Bakery.

"I told you I felt sick," David said.

131

bomb ditch

T he next afternoon, up in the penthouse at 841 Fifth Avenue, Adrienne was met with the most amazing specta- cle: The entire dining room and front hallway were filled with hundreds of suitcases and trunks labeled with colored identification tags. The place looked like the luggage ter- minal at Kennedy Airport. Tania, with a clipboard in her hands, was racing around the place, shouting out instruc- tions in her exceptionally bizarre English.

"What is all this?" Adrienne asked Tania, catching her by the arm.

"Bomb Ditch,"Tania replied.

"What?" Adrienne asked.

Tania sighed, completely exasperated. "To Floridoo. Bomb Ditch, where Warners in estates."

Adrienne thought for a second, trying to pierce the enigma of Tania's English. "Oh!" Adrienne called out. "Palm Beach in Florida!"

132 B O M B D I T C H

"Is what I am say," Tania replied. "Bomb Ditch.Very busy. You must to make Miss Emma pack."

"Thank God you're here, Adriana!" Mrs. Warner called out. She entered the hall, preceeded by a cloud of her perfume and trailed by her personal assistant, a thin, nervous woman. Adrienne couldn't remember this one's name. The only thing Mrs. Warner went through faster than nannies were personal assistants.

Taking a deep breath, Adrienne decided to stand up for herself. "Adrienne," she said clearly. "My name is Adrienne."

"How terrible.You should change it.Adriana has a bit of chic to it. Now, where are your bags?"

"My bags?" Adrienne asked, incredulous. Do we even speak the same language? she wondered.

"Well, darling, you don't think you can get through opening weekend in Palm Beach on one outfit, do you? I mean, I suppose you and Cameron could hit Worth Avenue and the Via Mizner, but the clothes there are so overpriced. Anyway, you don't think that we could open the house without having someone to watch Emma, do you? She could drown in the pool or on the beach. Darling, she might even get lost in the house, for God's sake." With that, Mrs. Warner trailed out of the hall, throwing instructions into the air behind her like rice at a wedding. Her belea- guered personal assistant trailed behind her, taking notes.

133 C O N F E S S I O N S O F A T E E N N A N N Y

Emma wandered in, looking pale and lost. Catching sight of Adrienne, she ran up. "Are you really coming to Palm Beach?"

"Well, no one told me I was supposed to, and I can't. I have, um, plans this weekend," Adrienne said to Emma. "Emma, you look upset. Is everything okay?"

"I hate Palm Beach," Emma said simply. "As soon as we get there, everyone forgets about me. I get really lonely there.We only have satellite TV.And a pool.And a bowling alley. And a private beach. Sure you can't come?"

"It doesn't sound bad,"Adrienne said,"but no, I can't."

Emma sighed in impatience."Adrienne, you don't get it. There is no Oprah on the weekends in Palm Beach. I have nothing to do."

Adrienne smiled at Emma. Palm Beach. It was very tempting. If only.

"Emma, I really can't. Last week I went out with Cam and her friends and I got home really late. My mom is really angry at me, and I just can't go to Florida."

"Of course you can!" said a cheerful voice behind her. "Florida is the best!"

Adrienne turned to see Cameron walk in. She looked radiant. It was nauseating. Her skin and eyes were clear, her hair was freshly blown out, and she was already wearing summer clothes and a tan. It is so unfair, Adrienne thought. It's like she has a pact with Satan.

134 B O M B D I T C H

"Hey!" Cameron continued cheerfully. "Did your boyfriend tell you what we did on Wednesday?"

Adrienne decided to lay down the law, right then and there.

"Well, Cam, it's just that . . . " Adrienne took a deep breath."It's just, you know, Brian isn't from your world, and he's a little taken in by all the glamour and the invitations-- you know? And well, I'd hate for him to get the idea that you are trying to get together with him . . . or something."

Cameron looked at her with a bemused expression. "Are you done?" she asked.

"Yeah," Adrienne admitted.

"Adrienne, I am not saying this to hurt your feelings. I'm just telling you the truth, and I don't want to sound mean. But seriously, I am not interested in Brian."

"But Cameron, you--" Adrienne interrupted.

"Adrienne," Cameron said firmly, suddenly sounding angry."Do you really think that a girl like me would try to steal a broke, seventeen-year-old boy who goes to a public school from a girlfriend who works as her family's nanny? Adrienne, you're a smart girl--do you really think that I'd waste my time trying to steal Brian? I like you guys.You're both real. I took Brian to the recording session for the same reason I took you to Bergdorf 's. It was fun for me to watch you two have a good time. Chill, sweetie. Please. Let's not get ugly over nothing."

135 C O N F E S S I O N S O F A T E E N N A N N Y

Adrienne took another deep breath. Cam was totally right. She had nothing to worry about. "Cool," she said. "As long as we're clear."

"Crystal," Cameron said. "So Palm Beach is heaven right now. It used to be so old-people's-home, but now, West Palm is totally happening, and you can't beat our house. It makes this apartment look like a tenement."

"Really?" Adrienne said, interested.

"You've got to come. Palm Beach is an island off the coast of Florida. Lake Worth separates Palm Beach from West Palm.The best houses are on the ocean, and the other great houses are on Lake Worth. Our house"--she paused dramatically--"is on both. It goes right through the whole of Palm Beach. My parents stay in the Villa on the ocean, and we stay in the Lake House, which is so far away, we can do whatever we want without getting caught."

Cameron and a whole house of her own in the sun down in Florida. It sounded like heaven. But, no. Her parents would never let her.

"Cameron, my mom is on the warpath. When I got home from Khmer, she was furious. She grounded me. Believe me, she's not letting me go to Florida with you."

The smile fell from Cameron's face. "Adrienne, I'm serious now.You have to come to Florida with us. If you don't go, my stepmother will fire you."

Adrienne swallowed. She certainly didn't want that.

136 B O M B D I T C H

"Don't worry. My stepmother will call your mom. I guarantee you're coming. No one says `no' to Christine Olivia Warner. If she wants you in Florida, you'll be in Florida."

"What about the plane ticket?" Adrienne asked."Will your parents buy one for me?"

Cameron looked at her in shock. "Adrienne," Cameron purred. "What ticket? We have our own plane!"

137

in the hot tub--naked

T he private plane was incredible.The walls were covered in silk brocade, and the elaborately upholstered chairs looked like the ones in the Warners' living room but were bolted to the floor and had seatbelts. There were two flight attendants who spent most of their time delivering drinks to Mr. Warner, who stayed glued to his wireless computer and telephone headset for most of the flight.

Adrienne had never seen Mr. Warner before, and she checked him out with interest. He was in his late fifties or maybe even a bit older, but he was handsome, with chis- eled good looks and a deep tan. His eyes were steely and focused as he did his work. As the drinks were delivered during the flight, however, he paid less and less attention to the computer and more and more attention to the attrac- tive attendants. An hour after takeoff, he was asleep.

Some "love match," Adrienne thought, glancing at Mrs.Warner buried behind a Town and Country magazine.

138 I N T H E H O T T U B -- N A K E D

They don't even look at each other.

Graydon Warner had already spent most of the flight leering at her, which grossed Adrienne out. She turned to Cameron to avoid having to speak to Graydon. "I can't believe there's a piano on your plane!" Adrienne exclaimed. She pointed to the miniature piano for Emma to practice on.

"The piano was made by Thomas Chickering of Boston in 1850 for his daughter," Cameron informed Adrienne. "But Emma won't play it. She thinks it stinks."

"Shut up, Cam!" Emma, in a rare eight-year-old ges- ture, stuck her tongue out at Cameron and made a face.

"The least you can do is play it. Dad paid a half a mil- lion for it just to please you," Cameron said.

Emma stood, marched over to the piano and, without hesitation, pounded out Elton John's "The Bitch is Back."

"Very funny, Rumpelstiltskin," Cameron said, sticking out her foot and kicking Emma in the ankle.

"Hey, girls, break it up!" Adrienne said, pulling Emma out of Cameron's reach, which was difficult. Cam's legs were so long, she could probably have kicked the pilot from her seat.

Cameron sighed. "I'd appreciate it if you'd keep the monster under control, Adrienne. Some of us would like to rest just a little before the plane lands." She turned her chair away from Adrienne, put on her sunglasses, and pulled a Herm�s lap blanket up over her bare legs.

139 C O N F E S S I O N S O F A T E E N N A N N Y

After a few hours, the plane landed on the private runway of the West Palm Beach International Airport.The front door opened to reveal a staircase that had been rolled up so they could exit.The family filed out of the plane, and Adrienne stood, smelling the humid, rich air.The sun had already set.

Two huge white Rolls-Royces pulled up in front of the plane.

"Normally," said Cameron, walking down the staircase like a showgirl in Vegas,"white cars are tacky. In Palm Beach, they're de rigueur. Can you imagine a black car in this heat?"

"That means they're necessary," Emma added.

"I know," Adrienne said, poking Emma, and tripping slightly as she stepped off the stairs and onto the tarmac.

"See you at the house," Cameron said."The first car is for my parents, me, and Graydon.The second car is for you and Emma.The minivan is for the rest of the servants, and the trucks are for the luggage." Adrienne blinked. There was a convoy of vehicles on the tarmac, all for the Warners.

Emma and Adrienne got into the car, which was spa- cious and cool. Not, however, as cool as Emma was being.

"Emma, hey, what's the matter?" Adrienne prodded.

"You like Cameron better than you like me."

"That's not true. Listen," Adrienne said, putting her arm around Emma, surprised that Emma let it stay there.

140 I N T H E H O T T U B -- N A K E D

"Cam and I are the same age.We're friends. I like you a lot, and I hope you like me. I'm not less of a friend to you because I'm Cameron's friend, too."

"Cameron has no friends," Emma said sharply."Don't let her fool you."

"Cameron's not fooling me," Adrienne said.

"Yes, she is," Emma said, staring Adrienne in the face. "I just hope that you are going to have some time for me this weekend."

"Emma," Adrienne replied, "I'm only down here because of you.What else would I do in Florida but hang out with you?"

They drove along the ocean, and finally arrived at La Villa Manon, pulling in through the massive wrought-iron gates.The car wound through brightly lit paths lined with coconut palms and innumerable hibiscus and gardenia bushes, which left a heavy perfume hanging in the air. Enormous volcanic rocks had rare orchids growing out of them, and orange trees in tubs covered the terraces of the house, which suddenly appeared before them at the end of a vast expanse of perfect green lawn.

The house was Spanish in style, painted a delicate shell- pink. It had a tiled roof and covered balconies. It looked, Adrienne thought, about the size of the airport they had left. There were colonnades and terraces made of black-flecked

141 C O N F E S S I O N S O F A T E E N N A N N Y

white travertine marble, and fountains everywhere. Every room on the second floor had a balcony overlooking the sea, and the French doors on the first floor were all wide open to receive the breezes from the Atlantic Ocean.

The car drove into the cobbled courtyard, and Emma pulled Adrienne inside.

The house was like a palace in Europe or a movie star's home in Hollywood. Everywhere Adrienne looked there were incredible paintings and furniture, flowers, and precious things.There was even a collection of jewel-studded shells lying on a table, as if they had been pulled off the beach. That is, Adrienne thought, if there were a beach where you could pick up a diamond-and-sapphire-encrusted conch shell!

"Let's go down to the Lake House!" Emma said, run- ning ahead of Adrienne through the doors into what must, Adrienne thought, be a ballroom. The enormous room with crystal chandelier faced a huge lawn that swept down to a little version of the main house. A cascade of lit foun- tains lined the pathway. Beyond the Lake House were the private boat docks in Lake Worth, and a view of the coast of West Palm Beach, twinkling in the distance.

Entering the Lake House, Adrienne could see that Tania was already busy unpacking Emma's things.

"You go upstairs to your rooms!" Tania said. "Miss Cameron, she send you packings!"

What on earth does that mean? Adrienne wondered.

142 I N T H E H O T T U B -- N A K E D

"Emma," Adrienne asked, "is it okay if I go to my room for a little while?"

"Sure," Emma said. "See you later."

Adrienne climbed the stairs. The walls were of tinted plaster, polished so highly that they looked like they were made of marble. Pieces of porcelain painted with pictures of tropical plants were hung on the walls like art. The porcelain was beautiful, as were all the gold lighting fix- tures. All this in a house where children and servants stay, that guests don't even see! she thought.

She finally found a door with a small sign on it that read, MISS LEWIS, NANNY.

Entering her room, Adrienne was thrilled. Twice the size of her room at home, it had pretty flowered wallpaper and a canopy bed, hung with pink and white silk gingham curtains. The carpet was pale green with a trellis pattern, and there were several pretty pieces of furniture painted to look like bamboo.

I think I'm going to love Florida! Adrienne thought, walking over to the shutters, which hid the view. Adrienne grinned. Ocean or lake? she wondered.

Opening the shutters, she was disappointed. "Parking lot," she said. Her view was of the service lot and several large air-conditioning units that hummed and growled. A large emergency electrical generator made puffs of smoke, which drifted up to her open window.

143 C O N F E S S I O N S O F A T E E N N A N N Y

Maybe I'll just keep these shutters closed, she thought. She went to the closet, opened it, and gasped. It was filled with fabulous clothes and a note for Adrienne from Cameron.

This was all mine last season. You can totally wear them-- half of it I never even used. I'll see you tonight at eleven at the pool of this house--I'm in "the Big House" with my parents. Can you make sure that by eleven there is food and liquor down- stairs at the pool? We are having a party! Lots of Palm Beach friends--so make sure there is plenty of booze. Hector will help you. Thanks! Cam. P.S. Remember to keep it a secret--my par- ents can't know!

Oh, no, Adrienne thought, panic quickly setting in. She wants me to pull together a party? I don't know how to do anything here.Who knows what these kids from Palm Beach will expect?

Adrienne sighed and stared at the note. And who in the world is Hector? she wondered.

By 9:45, Adrienne was in a frenzy.When she tried to get things from the kitchen, she discovered that she wasn't allowed to order food or drinks without Tania's permis- sion.Tania was happy to let her order a snack, even though she had eaten dinner earlier with Emma, but there was no way she could order alcohol or enough food for every one Cameron was probably inviting. Not that I have any idea how many people that even is, Adrienne realized.

She went out to the pool and looked at the note

144 I N T H E H O T T U B -- N A K E D

again. Hector. She had to find Hector.Then she noticed a really handsome Latin guy cleaning the pool and lighting the tiki torches. "Hi!" she called. "Are you Hector?"

"Who wants to know?" he asked.

"I'm Adrienne, Emma's nanny," she said.

"And a very pretty nanny you are, too!" he said, throwing his cigarette into the bushes and walking toward her. "How can I help you?"

"Cameron said--" Adrienne began.

"That I could help you set up for a party, right?" He shook his head. "Not a lot of time, right? You should have come earlier." He made her feel stupid.

"I got stuck with Emma and her dinner," Adrienne explained, not really sure why she was making excuses to him. He can't be that much older than I am, and he is cleaning pools, after all, she thought.

"Okay. Give me five," he said.

"Five what?" she asked. "Five minutes?"

"No. Five hundred dollars," he said."You see, I have to break into the Warners' liquor storage room, and then take a boat to West Palm to pick up food and mixers. It's not easy."

"Cameron didn't give me any money. I don't have five hundred," Adrienne admitted. Break into the liquor storage room? How much trouble am I going to get into?

"I know you're good for it," he said. "The Warners

145 C O N F E S S I O N S O F A T E E N N A N N Y

will pay you for the whole weekend tomorrow, and I'll come get it from you. You can get the cash from Cameron later. I only deal with the nanny. Cameron is too good to talk to me herself," he said with disgust, spitting into the pool.

Mental note, Adrienne thought. Do NOT get in the pool.

"Okay," she said. "That works for me. Just make sure everything is set up by ten forty-five."

"You bet, Nanny," he said, laughing. "But you should know: I can be a much better friend to you here than Cameron Warner. By the way, did she ask for party favors?"

"Like balloons?" Adrienne asked.

"Oh, man!" Hector said, laughing out loud. "No, baby--not like balloons. If she didn't ask, don't worry about it. See you later." Hector left, and Adrienne went back to her room to change for the evening. I have no idea what is going on here, Adrienne realized, but for once, I do know that I am totally out of my league.

The pool was beautiful. Hector had set up and was tending a huge bar, and there was a table of chips, salsa, and lots of hors d'oeuvres. Tiki torches and citronella candles were lit everywhere, and slowly, guests started to arrive in private boats that pulled up to the docks behind the pool.

Cameron arrived, wearing a hot pink sarong and halter top. She wore a pretty necklace with ten diamonds, which

146 I N T H E H O T T U B -- N A K E D

glittered next to her perfect and lightly tanned skin. "Hey, Adrienne," Cam said. "How are you settling in?"

"Great," Adrienne said. "The room is nice."

"Sorry about the view," she said. "It bites. That's why I sent the clothes for you."

"They're great," Adrienne said, glancing down at the aqua and green Pucci dress she was wearing.

"That looks great on you."

"Thanks. Listen, Cam, Hector wants five hundred dol- lars for setting this up--"

"I know," Cameron said."Do you mind taking care of it for now?"

"Well, I get paid tomorrow, so I guess I can lay it out for you--"

"Thanks. Don't worry, we'll settle this up when we get back to town.You won't need anything while you're here."

"Okay." Adrienne looked at all the guys and girls crowded around the pool. "This party is huge! How can we get away with it?"

"First of all, we are so far from the other house they won't even hear it. Second, they are at the Museum Dance tonight. This party will be over by the time they get home." She smiled. "Chill out. I've done this before." She peered over Adrienne's shoulder."Oh look! There's Parker. You know him! Ciao!" Cameron scurried off.

Parker walked up to Adrienne with a big smile."Hey,

147 C O N F E S S I O N S O F A T E E N N A N N Y

there!" he said, and gave her a big kiss. "Adrienne! How cool that you're here! I hate these kids."

"They seem okay to me," Adrienne said. "It is nice to see a familiar face, though."

"Tell me about it," Parker said."So, have you talked to Liz?"

"Not since I got here. She said she had a great time with you at Khmer."

"We did. At least, I think so, too," Parker said.

Adrienne smiled. I can't wait to call Liz to tell her Parker likes her, she thought.

"Hey, come on over to the pier. Bandar and Achim are here, and Mimi will be here as soon as she's done having dinner with her family at the Breakers."

"Cool," Adrienne said, following him over to watch the other kids arrive at the pier.

An hour later, Cameron stood on a chair to make an announcement. She seemed to already have had a bit too much to drink."Hey, everyone! This is just a little party to get you all ready for tomorrow night. My parents are out, and we're going to have a big party up at the Villa!"