Confessions Of A Vampire (6 page)

“So
,
last night you were telling me about how you and Severus were getting along right after you met. Do you want to continue from there, Mrs. Severus?”

I hesitated and timidly shook my head. “In order to understand what happens next I have to take you back a few hundred years.”

I didn't wait for his nod or even an argument. I was already consumed by the memory.

Chapter
Eight

It was the early 1400s and I'd pretty much given up hope of ever finding the masked man from that party sixty years prior. Star thought I'd finally lost my mind to still be searching for him. Of course, she couldn't understand this desire I had to find him. No one could. I'd have done anything to have just another second spent in his arms and it had all but consumed me these last few years.

I attended every social event I could
in hopes of seeing
him there. Each night ended in my disappointment
when he failed to show
. But this night was to be different
but not in a way I could have imagined
. I'd reluctantly agreed to attend a ball with Star. She had her sights set on a young Duke and had all but begged me to tag along in case she needed help luring him away from his intended.

I dressed
halfheartedly in a deep purple dress with cinched in waist and curve hugging bodice. The color set off the paleness of my skin and flowing curls. My blue eyes lacked the fire they'd once held but I could easily pass for a happy human woman.

I pinched my cheeks to give them some color and descended
from
the carriage with the help of our driver. Star's excitement bubbled over and I almost gave her a genuine smile. Letting her lead the way, we entered the chateau just on the outskirts of Paris
.
A
lively waltz
played
in the grand ballroom as
o
ur cloaks were whisked away by a dark haired maid who never uttered a word.

I stood to the side allowing my sister to be the center of attention for a change. It wasn't as if I cared about even being
t
here
,
anyway. This was her game and I was just a participant.

My back was against the
wall and I was sipping a glass of champagne
when I felt a cold hand on my arm. One whiff of the air around me and I knew I was in the presence of another of my kind. He was tall, ove
r six feet in height and lanky, t
he type of man a girl could find herself fantasizing about in the dark hours of morning just before dawn.

He asked me to dance and I politely refused, happy to sulk on my own
and definitely not looking for a man to cure my increasing disinterest in life
. But he wasn't taking no for an answer and I soon found myself being twirled around the Italian marble floor to the simple
strains
of an orchestra that was being overpaid.

He handled me as if I
was
a
fragile
flower
and he was the only thing keeping me from sudden demise. As soon as the song came to an end I high
-
tailed it out of there
, trying to keep my composure as I did
. I don't know what I was running from but I just had to get away from him. He'd made me feel things I'd long since thought I couldn't feel for anyone but that mystery man.

Stopping to decipher where I was
,
I l
et out a hoarse scream when he
suddenly
appeared
in front of me.

“
You can run, but you can't hide from me.”

His words should have been enough to frighten me and yet I was oddly amused by him. Shaki
ng my head, a smirk firmly in place
, I exaggerated a
bored
sigh and brushed past him.

“
Your name,” he called out behind me.

“
What do you want to know it for?” I wasn't fond of games and he seemed to be playing a big one that evening.

“
So I know what to call you when we make love.”

I whirled around, my eyes dancing with anger. “And what makes you think I'd allow you in my bed?”

“
What makes you think I'd wait for permission?” he countered.

“
You're quite annoying, you know that?”

“
You only find me annoying because you want to know what I feel like buried between your thighs.”

I don’t know what came over me as
I flew at him, not in rage
,
but in a need to let him know
that
he'd been correct in his assumption. I did want to know how it felt to writhe
in e
c
sta
s
y
beneath him. I wanted it so much it scared me. I ached to feel his tongue on the most sacred part of my body, to hear him moan my name as he reached his release. And I hated myself
and him
for all of those desires because he was not the man I so desperately wanted him to be.

He caught me in an embrace that left me shaken and trembling. His lips crushed against mine and I lost all train of thought or propriety. Good girls didn't do what I was doing
,
but I'd given up that charade centuries before.

We left the ball after I sought out Star to let her know I'd found some entertainment for the night and headed back to his penthouse apartment on the Rue de la Seine in
the heart of
Paris. The city was aglow
from
the candles that decorated the shops for the coming holiday. Everything seemed perfect that evening.

But as you've learned by now, nothing ever worked out the way I intended.

I spent the night in his bed teaching him the secrets of my body
and learning his
. We fed from one another, taking what we needed from the other as only two beings like us could. By the time the sun
arose
and we sought shelter in his coffin we were both bloodied and bruised.

Sometimes
,
being unbreakable has
its
advantages and that night was one of them. As I curled up against his chest, I ignored the voice in my head telling me that this was more than just a one night stand. This vampire known as Draven had captivated me and I was more than willing to see just how long it could last.

Weeks flew by and Draven and I grew closer. He was kind and gentle and I appreciated the difference from Kieran. He got along famously with Star and we all stuck together as the season of Christmas drew closer
but there was always that nagging little voice that reminded me that he wasn’t the man I truly loved
.
Every morning, just be before dawn broke, I’d look at Draven as he fell into his death slumber and I’d tell myself that I had to let go of fantasy and start living reality.

Within a few nights
Star and I had decided to stay in Paris for the holiday and
we
were thrilled at the influx of humans that filled the city each day. It was a veritable playground for vampires and we easily fed anytime we chose. It was a nice change of pace to be able to be full and strong. There were times back then that we wouldn't feed for weeks or even months at times unless we fed on the animals around us. And as much as Star and I despised such a thing, we'd found ourselves forced to more than once.

With Draven out our side we could make up easier lies to keep the humans' curiosity and questions at bay.
Humans are so gullible that they’d believe anything as long as it doesn’t sound too far-fetched.
We often told our prey that Draven and I were married and Star had been widowed and had come to live with us.

It was a plausible story and kept them from getting too suspicious
which always helped when you need to feed on their blood to survive
.
Living as husband and wife publicly led to Draven
and I
growing
closer and closer and before long he was asking me to marry him
for real
.
I had my reservations since m
y one and only marriage had ended in me killing my husband and I wasn't sure I was ready to give it another try but I loved this vampire so I threw caution to the wind and said YES.

As the Christmas holiday ended, our wedding plans were in full swing and I was happier
than I'd been in many
years. It had never been my plan to marry again, but I loved him and he loved me. The only fault I could find? His lack of passion and sometimes he just bored the absolute hell out of me. But I figured I could find my thrills in hunting.

I tried my best to not compare him to the man I'd met at Edward's Ball but in those moments when I was alone and could let my guard down, it was clear that my heart already belonged to him. Don't get me wrong, I did love Draven. It just lacked the passion and heat I'd experienced with that dark haired mystery.
There were times I sincerely wished I had never met the demon because he’d ruined me for anyone else, whether it was his intention or not.

I tried to throw myself into the wedding preparations to forget him but it didn’t work.
Star watched in silence as the wedding neared, never voicing her concern for what she could feel was tearing me up inside. I could see her questioning my intentions and if I were honest with myself I'd have been doing just the same.

But I was good at lying, not only to everyone else, but to myself as well. I
arose
on the night of my wedding to find a torrential downpour and massive lightning storm raging outside of my window. If I'd been a superstitious woman, I'd have listened when the maid swore the gods were trying to tell me something. Instead I struggled into a fitted white wedding dress that had cost a small fortune to have ready on such short notice.

Draven had insisted that we marry at once and I wanted to make him happy so I'd agreed
without thought as to why he was in such a hurry
.
So there
I was standing at the mirror, playing with the train of my dress when Star entered the room. Closing the door behind her she crossed the room and hugged me.

“
What's wrong?” I asked, sensing her worry.

She sat me down and took her place next to me, taking my hand in hers. In that instance she reminded me so much of our mother t
hat I had to forcefully hold back my tears
.

“
Sun, are you sure you want to marry Draven?”

I raised a brow and frown
ed at her words. “Yes, Star, I’
m sure. I love Draven. What brought this on?”

My sister stared at me for a very long time before she spoke again. “I know you
've been thinking about that demon
again. Did you forget that I can read your thoughts? And Draven will be able to as well if you
fully
bond with him. He'll know that you don't love him the same way he loves you.
I don’t want to see you hurt, Sun.
”

“
Star, stop this,” I interrupted her. “Draven is a wonderful
man, he makes me very happy and I need to stop living in a fantasy.
”

“
But you don't love him
,
Sun. Not like you love that guy from Eddie's ball. Don't do this to yourself.”
Her voice was filled with concern and I should have been
grateful
that she cared so much but all I felt was anger.

“
Do what, Star? Make myself happy? That other man doesn't
exist anymore. It's been
sixty years and I've not found him
no matter how hard I’ve tried
. For all I know, he's dead
or he doesn’t want to be found
. I can't wait around on something that's not going to happen.
I deserve to be happy and this is the life
I
want now. Draven is a good man and
he’ll be a good husband.
”
I was getting angrier
and just wanted this to stop, but even as I said the words, I knew that they weren’t true. I’d never be able to let go of the mystery man that filled all of my dream
s. I’d never forget him or stop looking for him in every new town we went to. He’d always be there, in the back of my mind, in the darkest corners of my heart and no matter how good of a husband Draven was, he’d never be good enough.