Conquered: She Who Dares Book Two (3 page)

“I thought you might need some moral support.” I say quietly. The truth is I’d find any excuse to see her. ”And… I needed to see you.” I whisper.

“How did you know I was here?” She snaps. She’s like a cobra that’s reared up, hood out and spitting venom. As always, I’m left trying to tactfully dance around her without getting bitten.

I offer a small smile. “You’ve always got something to prove. I knew you’d come.”

“Well you’ve seen the show. I’m not the crying damsel in distress. You can go now.” She says calmly. The usually vibrant green of her eyes is flat, lifeless. She dismisses me by turning away.

“No, you’re not.” I say to her back. I can almost feel the ice radiating from her. The last two weeks have hardened her in a way that’s made her untouchable to the world around her. “But you’re not as okay as you make out. I see behind those walls of yours. Remember who you’re talking to sugar.” She flinches slightly, and turns furious eyes on me.

“Do not call me that! What did you expect, that I’d be skipping around London town, partying and fucking around like you?” Her glare is fierce and accusing.

Fucking paps’! Shit. “I was not fucking around!” I growl. “I just… I can’t think straight without you. I promise you, I didn’t fuck anyone.”

“Honestly Theo I don’t care what you do. Fuck half of London if that’s what makes you happy.” Damn, she has this way of making me feel like total shit.

How can she not see that I’m a fucking mess over here? “
You
make me happy!” I shout.

She huffs a laugh. “You should have thought of that before you stuck your dick in that slut.”

I drag my hands through my hair. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I was in a bad place. I was in love with you and you walked away. I got drunk, and it happened. I don’t even remember it. It doesn’t change anything Lilly.”

“It changes everything.” She says flatly.

I push away from the wall and take a few steps toward her. “I still love you.” I reach out as if to touch her, but hesitate when she holds her hand up in front of her, halting me. She suddenly seems fragile, as though if I touch her, she’ll break. I see her front for what it is, and I see what’s underneath it, what I’ve done to her.

I step closer to her. This is the moment where I either let her run, or I hang the fuck on. I reach up and touch her cheek. Her eyes flutter closed and she releases a shuddering breath.

“I love you.” I whisper. She opens her eyes, eyes filled with a world of despair that mimics my own. “Talk to me.”

“And say what?” I clasp her face between my hands, pleading and begging her to come back to me, to see me, to remember us, but she’s long gone.

“We can work this out.” I beg.

She places her hands on my wrists and pulls them away. “No. We can’t. We’re over.”

“We’ll never be over. You know it as well as I do.”

“Just go Theo.” A frown etches across her beautiful features as she watches my movements.

“Lilly…”

“You shouldn’t have come here. It’s too late. Goodbye Theo.” She turns and strides down the corridor, practically running away from me. She’s done with the conversation, but I’m not. This is how it works with us. She fights and I fight harder, because I’m so desperately fucking in love with her that I’d sooner die trying than give up on her. So I follow her.

As I exit the front of the building I’m blinded by several camera flashes.

“Miss Parker. Miss Parker! Lilly!” Several voices all shout at once. “How was the trial? Are you and Mr Ellis an item? What do you think about Cassie Blake?” They swarm around Lilly who completely ignores them. Fucking vultures have been all over me since they somehow found out about Cassie barely twenty four hours after I did. I suspect she had something to do with it. A couple of them spot me, and quickly rush over.

“Mr. Ellis! Mr. Ellis!” They all shout. I push through them as Lilly makes a break for it through the car park.

She stops next to her car and rummages in her bag. She pulls the door open just as I reach her. I slam it shut, pressing my chest against her back. As her body presses against mine I feel complete for the first time in weeks, as though her touch can physically make me whole again. She spins and our faces our only a few inches apart. Her scent assaults me, gripping me by the balls and making my cock stir. Definitely not the time or place. She smells delicate, sensual, seductive and just Lilly. I cage her against the car as the furious flashing of cameras continues. Her breath quickens as her eyes meet mine. Something passes between us, a desperate unspoken need. This is how it is with us. This is what I crave. The draw I have to her, the passion she has for life. Even if she does drive me insane.

I lean in close to her and she tenses. “Don’t run from me sugar.” I whisper just inches from her ear. “I’ll always catch you.” I twist a strand of her hair around my finger. My fingers brush the soft skin of her neck. She closes her eyes and takes an unsteady breath.

When she opens her eyes they’re full of a hardened resolve. “You need to stop chasing, Theo. I’m done.” I study her and find no trace of a lie.

A brazen pap shouts. “Lilly, are you in love with Mr. Ellis?” I watch her re-coil and spot the flash of pain behind her eyes. She quickly covers it, her face morphing back into that cold mask.

She holds my stare as she responds. “Women don’t fall in love with Mr Ellis, they sleep with him.” She doesn’t flinch, doesn’t blink. She just fixes me with a stare that says ‘check mate’. I won’t pretend it doesn’t hurt. It feels like she just ripped out my fucking heart and stamped on it, but I backed her up against the ropes. I should have expected her to come out swinging, and swing she did, right where it hurts.

“Nice car.” I say as I step away from her.

“Thanks. I think I’ll keep it.” She flashes me a fake smile before she slides into the car.

“This conversation isn’t over.” I say as she slams the door, before pulling out of the car park, tyres screeching.

Everything between us was so right. How did we get to this in just two weeks? Oh, that’s right, I managed to get so drunk that I got fucked in a toilet cubicle and can’t even remember it.

I drive straight home. I cannot deal with this shit today. I thought the last two weeks were tough, but at least I had the luxury of hope. I guess in the back of my mind I always knew she wouldn’t be able to move past this. Lilly doesn’t forgive, and she certainly doesn’t forget. I’ve fucked up the best thing I ever had, and that thought is depressing as fuck.

I grab the decanter of scotch and a glass. I pour some of the amber liquid into the glass and slam it back. Nothing like shooting the good shit.

The doorbell rings and I groan as I drag myself up to answer it.

I open the door, glass of scotch still in hand. Cassie stands there with a frown on her face.

“Theo…” I slam the door in her face. I definitely cannot deal with
that
right now. If that makes me a bastard then so be it, but right now she’s the bitch who ruined my life.

I go upstairs and collapse on the sofa, where I proceed to drink. I drink because it’s easier than facing the situation I’m in. It’s easier than looking at the fuck up my life has become, and it’s easier than looking at what I’ve done to the only woman I’ve ever loved.

I needed to see her. I needed to know, and now I do.

All I can hear in my mind are those two words: I’m done. They hit me like a punch in the gut every fucking time. She is done. That’s it, no going back. I fucked it all up and now I have to live with the consequences. The truth is, I’ve come to need her on some level. She’s like a beam of light in an otherwise grey world.

If that baby is mine, then I’m about to face some serious shit. I guess, I hoped that she would lend me some of that implacable strength of hers, so I could face this shit storm. Stupid, why would she? I’ve done nothing but hurt her. I don’t deserve her. She loved me. She let me in where no-one else has been… and then I ruined her from the inside out. I took something precious and I fucked it up before it had even begun.

I pour another glass of scotch, and another, until I feel nothing.

I wake up on Tuesday morning with the headache from hell. My mouth tastes like something died in it, and my stomach churns violently. I roll over and squint against the bright light streaming in from the French doors. I feel like a vampire as I cringe away from the sunlight. I manage to half stagger to the kitchen and find some Aspirin. That scotch may have been the good stuff, but it leaves a hangover just as well as the cheap and nasty shit. Ugh, my fucking head. I’m seriously regretting last night’s pity party for one. Fuck.

My mobile rings on the breakfast bar and I pick it up without looking at the screen.

“Hello?” I rasp. God, I sound like shit.

“Theo?” The male voice on the phone asks.

I close my eyes and lean my forehead on the breakfast bar. “Mmmhmm.”

“Jesus you sound like shit.”

“Before you insult me, who is this?” I grumble. Fucking hell, I feel like my brain has just disconnected and left the building. It’s probably laying down in a dark room and wondering what the fuck happened, and why the fuck I’m even upright…sort of.

He sighs. “It’s me, Will, you twat.” Of all the times for my brother to call me, he calls now. Jesus.

“Oh, hey.”

“I’m in London.” He says matter of fact.

“What? Nice of you to tell me you were coming dickhead.” I growl. My brother can be such an arse sometimes. Would a phone call fucking kill him?

He laughs. “I thought I’d surprise you.”

“Yeah well good luck with that, because I am sure as shit not making it out of the house today.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Theo, man up. It’s a hangover. You’ve been having them several times a week, every week since you were sixteen, you should be used to it by now.” I can almost see him rolling his eyes. I am definitely the black sheep of our family.

“How do you know I’m not just ill?” I ask indignantly.

“Because this is you we’re talking about. You’re always hung over.”

“Fuck you.” I grumble against the work top.

“I’m staying at The Ritz. Join me for breakfast in half an hour.” He says in a way that leaves no room for argument. My brother is just like me, but older, more serious and a little scary sometimes.

“Seriously, you want me to have breakfast at The Ritz in this state.”

“Man up, you fucking pussy.” Then he hangs up. Ugh, did I mention I don’t get on with my brother all that well. Cat always says it’s too much Ellis male testosterone in one room. I think he’s just a dick.

I walk into The Ritz wearing jeans, a t-shirt and my Ray Ban’s. My head is still pounding and the light is making my eyes throb. People take note of my under dressed state, but I couldn’t give a fuck. There’s not a single guy in here without a tie on. Personally I find this shit pretentious. I mean really, The Ritz? My brother always was one for prissy hotels, flash cars and big houses. Don’t get me wrong, I’m hardly slumming it, but it’s not like I have ten super cars on my drive or a mansion. The house I live in was my grandmother’s, which I love, hence I live there. Will lives in an enormous pent house in the middle of Paris. Not my thing at all.

So now I’m at The Ritz, having to endure this shower of shit, when I have a perfectly good office where I could ride out my hangover in peace, or even better, my sofa. But no, I have to show my hung over to fuck face in public.

My brother is seated at a table near the window. The table is laid out with tea, coffee and some croissants. Seriously, croissants? Kill me now.

“Ah, Theo. Finally decided to join me?” He smiles and claps his hand on my shoulder. “Rough night was it?”

“Something like that.” I mumble. Will smirks in that easy way of his. He used to be every bit as bad as I am, and truthfully, my bad boy reputation started as one of the two Ellis brothers. The press loved us even more than they love me and Hugo. Of course then Will got married, moved to Paris and became a boring fuck. My brother’s an easy going kind of guy, but he’s a scary bastard when things don’t go his way. He’s a monster, at least six and a half feet, and built like a rugby player. He’s two years older than me, but he’s greying already, making him look older still. We don’t look alike. He has grey eyes and hair a shade lighter than mine. I’m the younger, better looking one, and I remind him of this at every available opportunity.

“Would you like to order sir?” A waiter asks me.

“Can you bring me a scotch?” I ask. This is definitely a hair of the dog job. Nothing else for it.

“Certainly sir.” The staff here know better than to question a customer. If I want a five hundred pound glass of scotch at nine thirty in the morning, then that is what I’ll get.

Will raises his eyebrows. “That bad?”

“That bad.” I nod. I take my sunglasses off, despite the bright light of the window.

“I guess I should be honoured you even turned up at all, even if it was an hour late.”

“Yeah, you should be.” I grumble. “Anyway. I’m here now so you can stop bitching.” My head is pounding and I have to rest it on my hands for a second whilst the room stops spinning.

“Would you like a croissant? It might make you feel better.” He smiles. I narrow my eyes at him.

“No, I do not want a bloody croissant.” He is far too smug about this situation right now.

He shrugs. “Okay. So from the article I saw spread all over my morning paper, I’m assuming this…” He points to me.”…is about a woman.”

“Isn’t it always?” I smile humourlessly at him. “What article?” I frown.

“Oh, something about a solicitor, and a pregnant woman. There was a picture of you pinning some red head up against a car. She’s hot.” He shrugs. “It was only a matter of time before you got some poor girl knocked up.”

“Fucking vermin.” I mumble. I hate the press. They’re all pricks.