Conquered: She Who Dares Book Two (7 page)

I smirk and flick my eyes down his body. ”Yes, horrible things indeed…” I rip my arm from his grip and walk away from him without looking back.

“…they involve petrol and a match.” I say louder with forced indifference. I hear deep rumbling laughter behind me and turn to see rugged stranger grinning at me. There’s something about him. I smile and wink at him. Theo glares at him in response, which just makes him laugh more.

I stride across the foyer and out the front doors. I exhale in relief as soon as I’m outside. My arm still tingles where he touched me. Surely he shouldn’t still have this much of an effect over me? I sigh and step onto the pavement.

The street outside is busy as people rush to get home from their jobs. Rush hour in London always has a certain desperation about it as though no-one can bare to spend an extra second at their place of work. I flicker of red catches my eye across the street, as the people pass by I catch sight of a red haired woman stood on the pavement across the road. She looks frighteningly familiar as she stands among the moving people like a statue. I squint, trying to make out her features, but I can’t see her clearly. A few people pass in front of my vision, and then she’s gone. I scan the pavement, trying to spot her flaming hair, but I can’t. A fissure of unease makes its way up my spine, but I shake it off. It was probably nothing, she just looks familiar that’s all.

I take the ten minute walk to Thai Sorroca which as the name suggests is a Thai restaurant. George is seated next to the window. We always sit near the window so we can people watch, it’s our thing. When I say people watch what I actually mean is people judge.

He’s wearing jeans and a long sleeved knit jumper that’s doing wonders for his broad shoulders. His blonde hair is slightly damp from the shower. I sit down and catch the smell of his cologne; Chanel Bleu. It always reminds me of George.

“Hey babe.” He points to a glass of wine. “I thought we could make a night of it.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“I know that look and no I’m not going out, getting trashed or fucking a random guy.”

“And.” He says.

“What?”

“That last one should have been ‘and’. You’re going out, getting trashed
and
fucking some random guy, because all of the above will be happening.” He takes a sip of his wine whilst wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“Oh, no. I’m not done with being a depressing, whiny bitch yet. I reckon you’ve got at least another week. Minimum.”

He groans dramatically. “But Lilly I’m bored. I need a play mate, and you’re the best playmate a guy could want.” He smiles and gives me the puppy dog eyes. “No-one else gets trashed, busts moves and bangs guys in equal measure to me. No-one else can keep up with me. I need you.”

“No!” I hold my hand up, blocking my view of his face and those eyes. “You haven’t had me as wingman for three months!”

He grabs my hand pulling it away. “Yeah well, I could excuse it because you were nailing
him
, and bastard or not, I’m still mentally high fiving you for that.” He bites his lip a little as he shakes his head.

“George!” I swat at him. “Stop!” He grins, caught red handed fantasizing about the enemy.

He ignores me. “Plus, break up drinking is always the most entertaining form of alcohol consumption. You haven’t gotten rip roaring drunk yet. There’s always crying and vomit. Now I reckon you’ll be fucking awesome with your outrageous comments and I’m suspecting declarations of lesbianism.” I open my mouth to reply and he lifts an eyebrow at me. “Don’t pretend it won’t happen. You strike me as a potential muff diver.”

“I am not a muff diver.” I roll my eyes. “I’m pretty sure that’s a last resort.” I frown.

“Oh you don’t want to go there, trust me.” He shakes his head. “Those bitches are crazy. Must be the lack of cock.” He muses.

“Um, I think that’s kind of the point.” I raise an eyebrow at him and he just shrugs.

The waitress comes over and we both place our orders. I don’t even look at the menu. I always have Thai green curry. I’m so unadventurous when it comes to food I don’t know the name of.

“So, I bumped into Theo on my way out of work.” I say when the waitress has gone.

George mock gasps. “Was he looking hot in all his dick-headed glory?”

I smile. “Sadly, yes.” I exhale loudly.

“Well, if it’s any consolation you look smoking hot today babe. I would.” He winks.

I laugh. “No you wouldn’t.”

“I’d try.” He offers with a wry smile.

“And I appreciate that babe, I really do.” I smile at his little shrug. “I’d like to think I still have it enough that I can get laid without having to force myself on a gay man though.”

“Oh, sweetie, men are going to think your vagina shoots fairy dust or something. You’ll have a queue a mile long of men wanting a shot at that.” He points at my lap.

“Um, no.” I laugh.

“Girl, you’re the woman who managed to lock down
the
biggest playboy in town. Believe me when I say guys will want a shot at that.”

“Well the playboy stayed true to his ways in the end, so my vagina can’t be that good.” I frown.

“Um, the playboy got some elsewhere when you denied him further access to said vagina. What’s a guy to do?”

“Not think with his dick at all times?” I grumble. It still stings, but George is right, I have no right to be annoyed about it. That’s easier said than done when the guy you’re irritatingly in love with has stuck it to another woman…and gotten her knocked up. Yep, still smarts like a bitch.

“Not possible. Sorry.” He holds his hands up and grins as I glare at him. “Hey, you’re hardly the commitment loving Virgin Mary, you old slag.”

“Such a charmer.”

“Always.” He holds up his wine glass. “A toast to old slags.” He says as we clink glasses. I’m seriously considering just marrying George, and having casual sex for the rest of my life. I think this is a good call.

Our food comes and we talk about Georges show and how hard it’s been on him. He and TJ are no longer sleeping together. Apparently TJ wanted more and George isn’t prepared to settle down with one person yet. I can see why. His career is so up in the air at the moment that getting into anything serious is bound to get complicated and difficult. I hope that one day George commits to someone, he’d make such an awesome boyfriend. Of course that would ruin my marriage plans.

When we finish dinner George and I stroll down the pavement hand in hand as we make our way over to the West End for the show. To anyone looking at us we look like your average young couple. In a way George is just as damaged as I am. He finds it hard to get close to people. Somehow, despite both of us having a lack of trust in people, we managed to find an unbreakable trust in each other. Perhaps we sensed a certain need in each other that the other could fill. Whatever it is, George has been a rock to me on more than one occasion. Molly is the friend that gives you sensible, serious and sometimes brutally honest advice. George is the friend who takes you out and gets you trashed, holds your hair while you’re sick, and then spoons you through your hangover the next day. George speaks my language, which is that I don’t want to talk about it. I want to forget about it. Not that I don’t love Molly, but she’s fighting a losing battle with her rational thoughts and explanations. If someone hurts me, I’m done, rational explanations or not. I am done.

George and I enter through a back door to the dressing rooms. He leads me through the chaotic area showing me around. There are rails of costumes and props everywhere. Dancers litter the corridors, some stand and talking, others are stretching. George shows me the stage which looks very daunting from here. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have to wait here, and step out onto that stage knowing there are thousands of people watching you. Of course I’ve been to the West End to watch shows before, but from the stage the venue looks enormous.

The show is one of the smaller productions that are currently running at the venue. It runs Monday to Thursday evenings. The weekend performances are reserved for the bigger productions. That said, the tickets for tonight are sold out, which is great. The more popular the show is, the better it is for the careers of the performers in the show.

Curtain up is in an hour, and George has to get ready. I walk with him to his changing room which he shares with three other dancers, one of which, I quickly note is TJ. Awkward.

“Hey guys.” George says. “This is my friend Lilly.” A couple of the dancers wave briefly at me.

TJ looks up when we enter the room, only to glance away quickly when he sees George. I really like TJ, and I hate to see him hurt. It makes me want to grab George and shake him, but at the end of the day, he’s clearly not the right guy for George. If he was the ‘one’ then his career wouldn’t matter, there would be no excuse, he would make it work. Not that I really believe in this ‘one’ rubbish. But I do think that for people like me and George there will be one person who walks into your life and tears it off its hinges. That’s certainly what happened to me with Theo. That person has to be willing to fight tooth and nail to get to you, they have to have the tenacity to climb your walls, no matter how many times they may fall. Each time they fail, they have to get up and try harder. I watch the way TJ subtly glances at George and I can see straight away that he’s in love with him, but he’s not willing to keep climbing. He fell at the first hurdle and that means he will never have George. Part of me hopes that one day George finds that person, but the main bulk, the part that currently feels like it’s been shredded, hopes he is never that vulnerable to one person. That kind of vulnerability leaves you wide open. All you can do is try and trust that person not to hurt you. That vulnerability left me bleeding.

I go and sit on a stool next to TJ’s chair whilst George disappears to get some hair spray. “Hey TJ.” I greet him and offer a small smile.

“Hi Lilly. How are you?” He asks sadly.

I shrug. “Okay. You know how it goes. Men are shit.” I sigh. “Present company excluded of course.” I smile.

He returns it with a sad smile of his own. “Sometimes people are just shit, but you just have roll with it, dust yourself off and move on.”

“Nice speech. How’s that been working for you?” I bump shoulders with him playfully.

He sighs. “Yeah, not so great. I figure if I think it, then eventually I’ll feel it.”

I nod. “It’s a good theory. Perhaps I’ll try it.”

“I am sorry to hear about you and Theo. I really thought you guys would make it. The guy seemed so in love with you.” I frown and nod my head as the pain hammers at my chest with every heartbeat. He rubs my arm gently. “I’ve never seen anybody look at anyone the way he looked at you. It was as though the world began and ended with you.” He lowers his head to meet my gaze. His eyes are so dark they’re almost black. “Whatever happened with you guys, what you had was real, never doubt that.” I want to believe him, but it’s not that easy. Especially not when said guy tells you he loves you straight after fucking some random woman and conceiving a child. That’s a rather ropey foundation to build any relationship on.

His eyes move to the window, where the darkened sky leaves the silhouettes of a few trees stark against the indigo sky. “Some people will never experience that kind of love in their lifetime. It is true when they say that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

“But if you’ve never loved at all then you don’t know what you’re missing.”

He smiles sadly. “The heart knows something is missing.” He whispers. I’m not a romantic person, and I’ve never been in the pursuit of love, but speaking to TJ, I’m in awe of his faith. He believes in love, the earth shattering, world changing type of love that can utterly make a person, or completely destroy them. TJ would risk destruction for that love, and it horrifies me at the same time as it inspires me.

George walks back into the room and TJ stands to leave.

“I’ll see you soon Lilly.” He says quietly as he leaves.

I immediately sit next to George. “What did you do to TJ?” I accuse.

He rolls his eyes. “Nothing. Usual story. I stated casual. He got attached.”

“Well, you could have been a bit more delicate. He’s heartbroken, George.” I frown at my hands. Maybe I’m just being over-sensitive and projecting my own emotions onto George and TJ.

He freezes midway through hair spraying and turns his head to me dramatically. “Seriously Lill’s? How many hearts do you think you’ve broken over the years?”

I shrug. “Not many.”

He snorts. “Well, seeing as you’re so oblivious, I’ll tell you. Almost every fuck buddy you’ve had was in love with you.” I blanch.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. It’s just sex.”

He shrugs and starts applying stage make up. “To you maybe, but not to them. I’ve watched many heart broken, rejected little faces leave your room.” He grins. “I even consoled one of them.”

“What?! Who?”

“Enrique. And yes he swung both ways.” He smiles. Enrique was a beautiful Spanish guy I spent a summer fucking whilst he was here studying for a year.

“Oh my god, we’ve like shared a guy.” That’s kind of gross. “Oh god, please tell me he wasn’t a giver, because if we’ve actually shared a cock, that would be fucking weird.” I shriek.

He laughs. “A gentleman never tells.” He does one last check in the mirror before leaving the room to get into costume.

Sneaky bastard totally managed to dodge my TJ probing.

Chapter Five

Theo

Lilly never did call to arrange an appointment. Why does that not surprise me? Well, if that’s how she wants to play it, then I’ll play. I manage to pull a few strings with Simmons and book an appointment to see her. I have a feeling it won’t go down too well, but she should at least be expecting it. She should know that I won’t be dissuaded that easily.

I have a lot I need to say to her, and she’s going to listen. She doesn’t want to talk to me because she doesn’t want to face hard facts. It’s easier to just see me as a bastard and hate me. That’s the easy out though, and I’m not going to let her take it. I’m bracing myself for the wrath of Lilly. No-one does angry quite like her.