Conscious Decisions of the Heart (33 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Nikolas made it through to the end. He brought them both off, lying over Ben, holding down his shoulders, and then the moment he was done, he just collapsed—out like a light, into a deep, almost unconscious sleep. Clearly he’d had something of a false rejuvenation due to jet lag and time differences. Ben extricated himself from beneath the sleeping figure. He’d never seen Nikolas so deeply asleep and dead to the world. He was sprawled diagonally across the bed, naked on his stomach, covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Ben had never seen him look so beautiful, so utterly irresistible, either. But then this was the first time they’d been together in such heat and intense light. Nikolas was bathed in light, every mark on his skin visible. Ben traced his finger lightly down from the scar on his head, to his burn marks and then the shoulder scar and then the one over his kidneys. He looked like an overenthusiastic organ donor. He smiled and watched Nikolas’s face. No reaction at all. He was breathing lightly, and he’d clearly passed to a place of restful healing far beyond Ben’s ability to disturb. With a sigh and a kiss to one firm cheek, he climbed off the bed and went to explore his new environment. He was a bit more compos mentis than the night before.

§ § §

The hut was entirely surrounded by deck. The back faced the other huts toward the beach and hotel about half a mile away. He estimated there were about twenty huts in all. The side decks had views of the hills surrounding and forming the lagoon, but the front was what clearly gave this hut its premier position. It faced out across the lagoon toward the ocean beyond, and Ben could see and hear a faint line of surf on the horizon, where the ocean met the reef. The deck was totally private. Nikolas would probably claim he’d had someone killed to get this hut over the New Year period at two days’ notice. Ben frowned and glanced back at the sleeping figure. That was probably a conversation best not to have if he wanted to keep his relative innocence about the holiday.

The hut had no doors and no windows but was entirely open to the sun and sea, just swathed by some sort of see-through white material that blew at the slightest breeze. He went back inside. There was their bedroom area that housed the biggest bed he’d ever enjoyed and a small sitting area in which he discovered a console with direct communication to the hotel alongside an extensive booklet of room service options. Basically, they could have anything they wanted delivered any time of the day or night. He immediately ordered some coffee and a selection of quality English and international newspapers for Nikolas.

The bathroom was just a screened-off but beautifully appointed shower and toilet, which had a small sign discreetly advising clients nothing from the bathroom went into the lagoon, but was collected in tanks. That was good to know then. He was also relieved to see the bathroom walls weren’t open to the sun and sea. He drew the line at showering in view—as the view in fact—of the other twenty or so huts behind them. That was that. He went back out onto the front deck. A sitting area and a hammock had been provided as well as the small dock where the boats tied up and left their room service. It was like a microcosm life inside a bubble of bright, beautiful unreality, and Ben loved every single thing about it. He went back inside, pulled on his swimsuit, then ran and dived off into the crystal-clear green water. It was like bathwater it was so warm. It was distinctly unnerving to an Englishman for about the first thirty seconds, and then he became entirely acclimatised to it and knew he’d never swim in British waters with quite such enthusiasm again. He wanted to go for a proper swim, preferably out to explore nearer the surf, but he wasn’t going to leave Nikolas asleep on his own in this intoxicatingly beautiful place. Ben knew by now the world was out to kill Nikolas Mikkelsen, and he wasn’t about to drop his watch a second time.

As he swam back toward the hut, he discovered there was a small boat tied up beneath it. He’d wondered how they were going to get away from the place without swimming. Now he had his answer. He levered himself back onto the deck, climbed into the hammock, and set it swinging—no point not getting a start on his tan. He had a feeling there wasn’t going to be much else to do in this strangely seductive place. A few minutes later, he watched through half-closed lids as the two young men in the boat appeared again and left the requested coffee and newspapers. It was too good to be true. The coffee was superb and had been supplied with a selection of pastries. He knew Nikolas wouldn’t eat them, so he did. He grinned to himself as he wolfed them down. Apparently, his anorexia phase was over. He glanced at the papers—which was all he ever did. No doubt he would hear anything worth hearing from Nikolas once he’d read them.

It was back to the hammock then.

If he’d thought the sunrise was beautiful, he was utterly entranced by the sunset that fell over the lagoon as he lay watching it from the deck. It was sudden, falling like someone in the heavens had tripped carrying a pallet of crimsons and salmon pinks and even turquoise. Then it was dark, and all he could see was the Milky Way spread like dense sand grains above. Suddenly, the sea around the hut began to glow. He peered over the railing. Lights were embedded on the floor of the lagoon, illuminating the water around them in a soft green glow. He walked around to the back and saw all the huts were the same, little islands of perfection set inside green jewels, tropical snow globes. He went back in. Nikolas had been asleep for six hours, but now he heard Ben in the room and woke. His usual assessing his surroundings took a while longer this time. The unearthly green light came up through the floorboards, making the filament curtains glow. It must have been disorientating to wake to, so Ben crawled over him and sat on him, bouncing the bed, just to make things a bit more normal.

Nikolas grunted. “What time is it?”

“Time to get your lazy butt out of bed and entertain me.”

Nikolas rolled with difficulty until Ben was sitting on his favourite place. “I could entertain you here for a while.”

Ben shook his head. “I’m starving. We’re going to the restaurant.”

“And Ben Rider is officially back to normal. Is there anything you value more than food?”

Ben thought about this for a while. “Nope. How are you feeling?”

“Like twelve hours is up?”

Ben frowned. “Are you sure you need one? You’ve just woken up!”

“Ben, the whole room is glowing green. I don’t tell you all the odd things I see because you’re only a baby and would be scared. Trust me, however; glowing green is unnerving. Give me my pills.”

Ben began to chuckle, took his hand and pulled him off the bed and out onto the deck. Nikolas was reluctant to go out naked until he saw just how private they were. They peered over the deck together at the glowing sea, and then Ben pointed up to the stars. Nikolas stood for a while, illuminated by starlight. He caught Ben’s hand and pulled him into his arms and kissed him. “Order in.”

Ben made a small noise of protest. “There’s a boat with this ginormous engine, and the restaurant’s got a glass floor you can look down at the—”

“I can see water from where I am.”

Ben began to complain again, but Nikolas whispered into his ear, “Indulge me this one night, baby, and I’ll take you and show you off every other night that we’re here.”

Ben pulled away a little, staring into Nik’s eyes. He could see reflected stars in the dark pupils. It was one of those moments when he realised they’d moved on to another stage of their relationship. He knew it was partially the unearthly beauty of the place seducing them both—the stoniest, most unromantic person would find this hard to resist—but it was more than that. Nikolas had never used such a term of endearment for him before. And it wasn’t just a slip of the tongue brought on by starlight and a hot tropical night. Nikolas never did or said anything he didn’t mean and hadn’t given a great deal of thought to. Ben cupped Nikolas’s face and kissed him, pulling him gently back into the hut until the backs of his knees connected with the bed and they fell on it together.

They kissed for a long time, prolonging the moment when it would become more frantic. Nikolas even allowed Ben to order food, and when it was delivered, they brought it to the bed and fed each other. Ben knew Nikolas would be thinking about alcohol, because he was, too. It was a night for sliding under the seductive numbness of ice-cold white wine or local rum, strong and potent. So he allowed Nikolas to take liberties with him, tipping ice cream onto his belly and licking it off, finding other interesting places to eat and bite at the same time.

Finally, Nikolas was in him and neither could remember quite when it had happened. He took his time, drawing out the pleasure. No violence this night, no games. Nothing but a languid drawing in and out, both watching as Nikolas’s flushed-purple, hard member slid through Ben’s tight ring. Nikolas placed a hand on each thigh, spreading Ben open more, lying over him and levering his whole body into the penetration, until Ben was taut and moaning with pleasure, and then he let them both come, their releases almost in sync with the surf they could hear pounding in the distance.

When they were finished, they lay upon the sticky, food-ruined sheets, soaking in the heat until Nikolas disentangled himself and went to the console. He called room service and ordered the housekeeper to come and clean the room then held out his hand for Ben. They dived off into the glowing green water, both naked but soon out of the light and into the darkness of the unlit lagoon. The water was still incredibly warm, although the air had cooled a fraction. They watched as a boat pulled up to the hut and two uniformed women climbed out with cleaning equipment and clean linen. Ben glanced across at Nikolas. “What’s wrong?”

Nikolas shook his head, but Ben insisted.

“I was just thinking how insecure we are in those things.”

Ben swam closer. “You’re thinking about Gabby.”

Nikolas denied this and claimed he was only making a casual observation. So Ben countered more effectively by dunking him under the water and holding him down until, being naked, Nikolas reminded him how vulnerable
he
was. They surfaced, choking and laughing, then kissing. When the boat left, they swam leisurely back to the hut and climbed up onto the deck. It was warm enough to sit around outside wet and naked, so they worked out how to lie comfortably together in the hammock. They could hear distant music and some chatter from other huts, which in the silence and calm of the night was audible over the water. Ben was suddenly very tired, a sensation he knew from many flights and jet lag over the years, that feeling of being fine one moment then just like death the next. He felt himself dropping off a great height. Nikolas tightened his arms around him, and they both slept under the surreally beautiful sky bathed in the green glow from the sea.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

“Fuck!” Nikolas tipped Ben out of the hammock onto the deck. “Fucking hell!” Ben rose groggily to his feet.

“Wh―?”

“Look at me!” Ben peered. As far as he was concerned, Nikolas looked pretty good naked in the morning light, his usual morning erection flushed dark on his belly. He was just about to climb on to enjoy the ride when he noticed a red welt, then another. Nikolas, where
he’d
not been covering him, was bitten—badly. He checked himself over and saw nothing. He bit his lip. Nikolas flung himself angrily out of the hammock, twisting, trying to see all over his body. He saw Ben was laughing at him so he pushed him—hard. He fell off the deck into the translucent morning water, still laughing. Nikolas stomped into the hut, and Ben heard a shouted, “Where are my fucking pills?”

He shouted back from the safety of the water, “Those aren’t hallucinations! You’ve been…eaten!” He climbed out of the water and edged into the hut. Nikolas was scratching. Ben caught his hands to stop him. “Pills?”

Nikolas nodded grumpily. “Why aren’t you bitten?”

“I have superior blood. English, see?”

Nikolas swatted at him as he went to get the pills. Then he started scratching again. Ben came back and caught at his hands. “Stop it! Jesus, you’ll make them bleed.”

Nikolas wrenched his hands away. Ben caught at them again. “Don’t make me restrain you.” He only said it jokingly. They’d never done that. Not in the five years they’d known each other. It was always Ben tied, Nikolas in complete control. But the thought, now implanted, couldn’t be dismissed. He could see curiosity, temptation, and desire in Nikolas’s eyes, but this was mixed with suspicion and disgust. Ben slowly pushed him back toward the bed, keeping eye contact, trying to gauge whether this was going to be accepted or not. He caught at Nikolas’s tie where the staff had neatly folded it over the back of a chair and brought it with them. With great deliberation, checking all the time to see if Nikolas was going to allow it, he straddled him, stretched the strong arms up, and secured them to the rail. He tied them tight. Suddenly, Nikolas told him he had changed his mind. Perhaps recent memories of his restraint in far less pleasant circumstances had begun to surface. He shook his head. “Untie me.”