Conviction (Consolation Duet #2) (9 page)

My eyes snap open. “I didn’t fall in love with him because you died. That might have been what forced us together, but I love him in a way you can’t understand,” I say and see the way his jaw ticks.

“You can’t convince me you love him more. I know you. I know your heart and your soul. I can see everything you’re feeling before you say it. So I told him to step aside before he destroys us all.”

“How dare you?” I rip my hands from his and stand, needing to dispel some energy. “You don’t get to make that decision for me.”

“We made vows.”

“You broke them.”

“Is this your whole argument? That I broke promises? You did too, babe. You promised to love, honor, obey. You fucking fell in love with someone in under a year. What does that say?”

Anger rips through me as I clench my fists. If I were a violent person, I would’ve punched him by now. “What does it say, Aaron? It says we weren’t happy. It says we had problems. It says that I met someone, fell in love, and moved on. It says that you met someone while we were married and did the same.”

“Well, we’ll see, because Liam and I have an agreement,” he says smugly.

Fuck him.

“I hope he told you to go to hell.”

Aaron stands and walks away. He stops and turns toward me. “He said he would give us time.”

My heart plummets. “Of course he did.” I nearly choke on the words.

“I’m not a fool to see that he loves you. But he knows we have a life, a child, a home.”

Liam and I are going to have words. His text message now makes sense. He’s giving up on us. After all we’ve shared and how far we’ve come. All the promises are lies, just like those of the man who stands in front of me.

“Had,” I say and stare into his eyes. “We had. You keep forgetting what we had is now past tense. Right now, we have a mess to clean up. Do you even want to acknowledge the fact that you were going to leave me for your whore?” I bite back the nasty retort floating around in my mouth.

“I’m not with her now, am I?”

“And if we don’t work out, will you go back to her?”

“Is that what you want?” he asks, watching my reactions.

I huff, “I can’t even believe you. You sit here telling me you love me, spouting off how we have a love no one can ever understand, but you can’t even answer me honestly once. Are you going to admit what your relationship was with her?”

His story has too many holes. There are too many nights I remember being alone or wondering. The times I pushed down my woman’s intuition and smothered it. Ignorance is a beautiful place sometimes, but I don’t plan to live there anymore. The hardest part in all of this is that I’m going to be the one to hurt Aaron. I was supposed to be his lifeline. Just as Liam has become mine.

Then I think about what Aaron said about him stepping aside.

Fuck them both.

I get a say in who I’m with, and they’re both going to learn that quickly.

“Who knows?” Aaron says and then shakes his head. “What is the truth anymore?”

“Then I’ll be sure to talk to Brittany tomorrow. She doesn’t have any issues saying what happened between you two.”

“You love my fucking best friend! She’s nothing compared to that,” Aaron’s voice trembles.

“How can you say she’s nothing? You were with her for a long time. You went to her many nights, didn’t you? What about the time you stayed with Mark for two nights? What about all the times I would call your phone and it would go to voicemail? The late nights you’d come home so tired you’d fall asleep on the couch. I remember them all, Aaron. Clarity isn’t something I’m lacking.”

He can play dumb as much as he wants, but he’s a master at deceit. I always believed he kept his work away from home, but as the truth unravels, it reminds me it’s a part of who he is. He worked to get information from others, concealed himself and the truth from those he had to. Aaron can withstand torture, injuries, and this to him is probably a walk in the park. I was a lovestruck idiot, hoping my husband was the man I wanted.

“Jesus Christ,” he groans and throws his hands up. “She means
nothing
to me! Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you. She sobbed and cried saying how in love you were, but you still can’t be honest.”

Aaron looks to the left and shakes his head. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Then tell me! Tell me the truth. You want your chance . . . this is it!”

His face becomes stone. “I told you what matters. I was with her more than I ever should’ve been. I hated myself. I thought I could stop, but I was too weak. I didn’t deserve you then and apparently I don’t now. But we’ve had a year that we’ve been apart. I can be better. I don’t want her anymore.”

Even though we’re not together it hurts. The word ‘anymore’ hangs heavy in the air. I’m the runner up. When he wanted her, he had her. Now, for whatever reason, I’m his choice but what happens when things get tough? When our lives aren’t filled with laughter, but we’re swimming in tears . . . does he go back? Too much has happened.

His hand extends, but I move before he can touch me. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“Understand? I can’t even look at you. I don’t know how you can say this is what love is. I need to leave,” I start to move back. “I’ll be home later. Or maybe not,” I say grabbing my purse. There’s no way I’m staying in this house with him. I’m hurt, livid, desolate, and more than anything, I’m devastated that Liam would cast me aside so easily.

“Don’t leave,” Aaron begs.

“Don’t lie anymore.” I grab my keys and head out the door.

Once in the confines of my car, the need to scream overwhelms me, so I let it go. I punch the steering wheel and scream at the top of my lungs. Nothing coherent comes out, just yelling, trying to cleanse my body of all the confusion. I look at the window and see him standing there. He watches me lose it in my car and the contrast between him and Liam is glaring in this moment. Aaron chooses to let me go while Liam would’ve been at the car already.

Speaking of Liam, I turn the key and back out of the driveway while my husband watches me leave to go to my boyfriend’s house.

The drive isn’t long, but it allows me the time to form a plan. I’m so hurt that he would just toss me away. We need to talk and figure things out. I’m not either of their doll and they can’t pass me off to the other. Aaron and I may be married legally, but he’s been dead for a year. He and I aren’t married in any other way.

I knock on the door and hear a woman’s laughter.

Please, God, don’t let him have another woman in here.
I can’t handle it.

Liam opens the door smiling and it falters when he sees me. “Hey,” he says, closing the door behind him, pushing us out into the hall.

“Wow,” I say in disbelief.

“Wow?”

“You’re kidding me, right? You have someone else here? Not only do you tell Aaron you’ll step aside, but you move on so quickly.” I’m so beside myself I can’t think. I push his chest and slap him. “I hate you all!”

Liam’s arms wrap around me and stop my physical assault. “What the hell are you talking about? Calm down,” he commands as I struggle to get out of his hold. “Natalie, stop.”

“How could you? I trusted you!” I begin to cry.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I heard a girl laughing, and you pushed me into the damn hall.” Tears fall like rain as he refuses to let me go.

“It’s Quinn and the girl he’s talking to.” He releases me a little so I can look at him. “Did you think I had another girl in there?”

My eyes meet his with drops streaming down my face. “I don’t know what to think anymore.”

“Only you. I wouldn’t be able to be with anyone else.” Liam holds me close, and I try to melt into him. His words soothe me, and being in his arms allows me a sense of comfort.

“Don’t give me up so easily,” I cry against his chest and he lets out a deep breath.

“Let’s go inside?” he offers.

I nod and he pulls me to his side.

As we enter, I see no broken bottles and everything is cleaned up better than when I left. It’s been not even a day since I was here. So much has happened in the last few days, but my mind and body feel as if it’s been a lot longer.

“Hey, Lee,” Quinn says and looks at Liam then sits. “We’ll get out of here and let you guys talk,” he offers and grabs his date’s hand. She stands and smiles at me.

“I’m sorry to run you off.”

“You didn’t. Ready, Ash?” I look at her and she looks familiar.

Liam juts his head toward the kitchen, and Quinn nods and heads there. “I just need to talk to Quinn a second,” Liam quietly tells me in my ear before kissing the side of my head.

She walks over and waves awkwardly. “Hi, I’m Ashton Caputo. We kinda met, but didn’t really, because well, it wasn’t the time for introductions. However, I think that may be our thing,” Ashton rambles. “Anyway, I’m Catherine’s best friend from New Jersey.” It takes a second, but I remember she was with Catherine. She’s absolutely stunning. Her long, red hair flows down her back and her eyes shimmer.

“I sort of remember.”

“I’m visiting Mark, but he pawned me off on Quinn while they left for a few days to go . . . well, anyway, so we came here to meet Liam,” she explains.

“Are you and Mark . . . ?” I ask with wide eyes.

“No!” she waves her hands animatedly. “We tried that and it was like putting the same person in the other and one trying to claw its way out. We’re just friends.”

“Ahh, so you’re both smartasses?”

“Well, he’s an ass and I’m smart.” She pauses and I smile.

Ashton seems uncomfortable, and I instantly hate that I’ve ruined their night. “What brings you down here?”

Her eyes close and she shakes her head. “I needed a break from my life, so Mark suggested I come to Virginia for the week. Just so happened to be a busy week here as well.”

“You could say that,” I half laugh.

“I know you don’t know me, but I feel like I know you. Cat talks about you a lot and she’s worried about you. I don’t know much other than what I’ve overheard, but are you okay?”

I sit on the couch and Ashton sits beside me. “Short answer . . . no. I’m so far from okay I don’t even know what it looks like. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t burden you on your vacation.”

“Please,” she scoffs. “This is an escape from my self-inflicted hell. Plus, with Cat gone, I don’t have much girl talk, so please don’t feel bad. I miss this. She’s practically married to Jackson, and they’re in a good place, so I get nothing.” She grins, and I feel at ease with her. “You have a lot going on, and believe me, I only know what I’m overhearing from G.I. Joe over there. Mark told me that he had to go do something and then dropped me off at Quinn’s. So I’ve pieced a few things together.”

I smile and even if she knows everything, I’m grateful she’s allowing me the sense of privacy. “Quick version . . . my dead husband isn’t dead. Liam is his best friend and has told him he’ll back off. I’m in love with him, and Liam deploys soon. Basically, I’m losing my friggin’ mind.”

“Well, who do you want?”

“Liam,” I say without any hesitation.

“I’m not trying to talk you out of it. But do you think you should give yourself some time to really be sure? Again, you can tell me to eff off and I’d understand. I tend to give unsolicited advice.” Ashton gives me an out, but I feel oddly comfortable. She reminds me of Reanell, and I almost wish I would’ve gone to her instead of coming to see Liam. I’m too conflicted and emotional to be rational.

“Aaron and I weren’t in the best place when he died—well, went missing—I don’t know if we could’ve survived it. He cheated, lied, and I’m not sure we can move forward. Liam has been my rock this last year. I know it sounds crazy, but our love is different than I had with Aaron,” I explain.

It’s true though. My love with Aaron was almost infantile. The way you adore something so much that you only see the good. We loved each other because that was what you do. It’s all I knew and so I thought it was all there was. It doesn’t diminish the time we were together, but when I fell in love with Liam, it was like a part of me clicked. I could’ve never told Aaron things that I can tell Liam. If I told Aaron why I was mad, he’d make me feel stupid. Put me down and tell me I was being ridiculous. Liam draws me out.

“Different is good. Trust me, I’m the last person you should be getting love advice from, but I’ll be here for a little while, and if you want to grab a drink or whatever, let me know.” Ashton stands as the guys walk into the room. “It was sincerely nice to meet you, and I hope I’ll see you soon?” she asks.

Quinn walks over. “I was going to bring Ashton to Aarabelle’s birthday party, if that’s okay?”

Her party. I completely forgot. “Yes,” I say snapping out of my head. “Of course.”

“Great! I know Catherine and Jackson are coming too, so thank you.”

“All right, man, see you at work tomorrow.” Quinn slaps Liam on the shoulder and leaves with Ashton. I give a short wave and she smiles.

I turn to Liam and remember why I’m here. He stands there uncomfortable but I don’t care. He’s not going to play the martyr.

“You don’t think I should get to decide?” I ask with venom dripping from each syllable.