Cool Bananas (3 page)

Flick told her. ‘But that’s not what we were talking about, Kay. We reckon Kiev Beauman’s on the Wild Life tour bus.’

‘Who’s Kev Beauman?’ said Kay.

‘Not
Kev
. Kiev. You mean you’ve never heard of Kiev Beauman? He’s an actor,’ said Angela.

‘Kiev Beauman is
the
actor.’ Maggie rolled her eyes and looked star-struck.

‘See? Even Maggie knows who he is.’

‘What do you mean “
even
Maggie knows who he is”? I watch
High Times
every night.’

Kay’s face stayed blank. Flick, Angela and Liz looked at each other as Braden came over. He had served an aggro customer, a burly man who’d given
him a hard time about the sauce on his burger because Braden had put on satay instead of barbecue. Braden was wound up and agitated.

‘That man wath a total
pig
to me. Now, whatth thith I heard about
High Timeth
?’

‘Kiev Beauman’s on the tour bus.’

‘Oh, thure. In your dreamth.’

‘Kiev Beauman on the bus?’ A woman with three kids had come into the store. ‘Can we get his autograph?’ Two of the kids rushed outside shrieking, ‘It’s Kiev Beauman. He’s coming!’

Immediately everyone in a five kilometre radius pricked up their ears and started rushing toward the store all yelling at once. ‘Did you hear? Kiev Beauman. Here. At Coolini Beach.’

Liz gave a groan. ‘There’ll be a million people waiting when the bus gets back.’

‘Yeah,’ said Kay. ‘And some poor sucker who just happens to look vaguely like this Kev person will be mobbed, his arms ripped off and I’ll get sued.’

‘It’th Keeee-ev,’ said Braden. ‘And I don’t think it’th nice to talk about ripped-off armth, Kay. You thaid that yourthelf only a while ago. You thaid —’

‘Oh, put a thock, I mean, a sock in it, Braden,’ snapped Kay, as a crowd began to mill around the
entrance to the store and someone with half a brain began chanting, ‘We want Kiev!’

‘We have to get these orders filled,’ said Flick. ‘Otherwise the bus will be here and no food ready.’

‘Yes. I’m glad you reminded everyone of that little fact,’ said Kay grimly. ‘We’re all behind in our schedule.’

‘Where’s Kiev?’ shouted a girl. ‘We want to see him.’

‘Why don’t you form an avenue of honour along the driveway?’ yelled Kay sarcastically.

‘Great idea.’

‘Omigod,’ said Liz. ‘
Omigod
. They’re doing it!’

The excited crowd was lining up on either side of the road where the bus would pull in.

‘How embarrassing,’ muttered Flick.

‘Yeah. Kiev’s gunna
die
,’ groaned Liz.

‘He’s used to it,’ said Angela loftily. ‘Hordes of screaming fans ripping his gear off, wanting his autograph, sending him love letters. But wouldn’t it be cool to actually
go out
with him!’

As she said this, Angela hiked her apron up higher, pulled the front of her top down lower, and reached for the bright red lipstick she always kept in her pocket.

‘When are you lot going to do some work!’
Kay stood with her hands on her hips and glared at them all.

‘Aw, come on, Kay, it’s not every day that a famous TV star arrives on a bus.’

‘I don’t care if Prince Charles jumps off a bus, there’s the orders to make up!’

When Kay spoke in that tone of voice it mean that she was really going to lose her temper, and when Kay threw a wobbly it was dangerous, because she’d been known to actually pick up the nearest object and fling it, which wasn’t so traumatic if it was a tomato but bad news if it was a breadknife.

Braden disappeared into the back room followed by Angela. Flick and Liz started putting the food into bags and sorting hot chips into buckets.

‘When’s Tania supposed to start?’ said Liz.

‘Dunno. I thought it was eleven thirty.’

Tania was the new assistant hired to wash dishes, carry plates and wipe down tables, which would free up the other girls to serve and prepare food.

Flick looked at her watch. ‘It’s a great start. She hasn’t turned up on time on her first day. And Sophie should start in half an hour. I hope Kay can phone her to come in earlier.’

As if reading her mind, Kay stuck her head round
the servery. ‘Any sign of Tania yet?’ she asked. ‘Or is Sophie anywhere about?’

‘Can’t see them.’

Kay muttered something under her breath and went off to the phone. They heard her bang the receiver down and then redial.

‘Bet she’s phoning Cam.’

Cam was Kay’s husband. He drove the Elgas truck but if he wasn’t on duty he could help in the store in an emergency. And this looked like being a classic, because yet more people were arriving.

‘Either the rumour’s spread about that arm being found on the rocks and they’re coming for a sticky, or they’ve heard that this Kiev chap’s on the Wild Life bus.’ Kay sighed. ‘And guess what? No one’s answering at Tania’s or Sophie’s, and Cam’s still out delivering gas. I guess we’ll just have to work faster and harder.’

‘Maybe Maggie could come in?’ Liz suggested.

‘Maggie? She’d be useless, and anyway she’s got her mother-in-law and a crowd of relatives staying, remember?’

Flick looked at Liz. Of course Tim and Josh could’ve helped if they’d been around, but they were off enjoying themselves. And Liz’s parents were away with Tim, so they couldn’t help either.

‘Oh no. Here comes the bus!’

The crowd patiently waiting outside the store started jumping up and down and cheering. Other people who were just arriving to scour the beach for human bits and pieces, having heard on the news about the arm, hadn’t a clue what the cheering was for. Dave, the bus driver, grinned and waved at everyone.

‘What’s going on?’ he said as he clambered from the driver’s seat. ‘Did I win Bus Driver of the Year or something?’

But he really knew that Kiev was on the bus, and so did most of the passengers. The younger tourists grinned, because they realised the line-up was in honour of Kiev. They’d found him unassuming and nice to chat with, giving out autographs with patience and then retiring to his seat to look out the window. He’d told them that he’d escaped from his minders who were probably going ballistic back in Melbourne, but he’d phoned to tell them he was okay and would be back later, and not to panic.

The rest of the passengers got off the tour bus and followed Dave into the store to collect their orders, Kiev stopping to shake hands and sign autographs as the teenagers in the crowd looked in awestruck wonder at this famous person who was here in the flesh at Coolini Beach.

When he was finally able to extract himself from the crowd and enter the shop, Flick was waiting to hand him his chicken sandwich, bucket of chips, and chocolate milkshake.

‘Listen, son,’ said Kay. ‘Would you like a bit of peace and quiet away from the maddening crowd? We’ve got a table and chairs out the back under a shady tree if you’re interested.’

Flick bit her lip at the ‘son’, but Kiev didn’t seem to mind.

He looked at the sea of faces pressed against the windows and the star-mad mob milling about outside, then back at Kay.

‘Thanks, I’d like that,’ he replied.

‘Flick, put the food on a plate, will you, and take Kev — er, I mean Kiev — out the back.’

Flick swallowed.

‘I’ll do it,’ purred Angela, sidling up and leaning over invitingly with her boobs practically falling into Kiev’s chocolate shake.

‘No, Angela,’ said Kay sweetly. ‘I need you here to help Liz and Braden. Off you go, Flick.’

With her heart pounding like a sledge hammer, Flick led the way through the kitchen and pizza room with Kiev following behind. At least it was still relatively early in the day and the whole place
hadn’t been turned into a chaotic mess of squashed dough-droppings, mixing bowls, square boxes, and all the paraphernalia that went with making pizzas.

The outside door opened onto a small courtyard. There were boxes piled against a wall and an Eiffel Tower of milk crates against another, but there was a nice tree shading a small wooden table and two chairs.

‘There. You should have some privacy,’ said Flick.

‘Yes. Thanks.’ Kiev looked round then stiffened as she put his food on the table. ‘Is that thing dangerous?’

‘What thing?’

He pointed. Flick looked in the direction of his gaze and gasped. There was a large tiger snake curled up near the drainpipe watching them warily with its beady eyes. Its stripes glistened like golden bands in the sun. Its coils were at least six centimetres thick.

‘That’s Sylvester. And he’s only dangerous if he decides to strike,’ said Flick calmly, although her hands had gone clammy with the shock of actually meeting Sylvester face to face. ‘But he won’t attack. Snakes don’t unless you threaten them or get between them and their living quarters, or accidentally tread on them. Anyway, he’s too sleepy right now.’

‘Are we supposed to kill it or something?’

‘Tiger snakes are a protected species,’ said Flick, as the snake slowly uncoiled itself and began to slide under the building. Its languid movement somehow made Flick think of Angela.

‘Is it poisonous?’

‘Yes, tigers are the second-most venomous snake in Australia. The taipan’s the most deadly, but we don’t have them this far south. Taipans are found in Queensland and the Northern Territory. We’ve got common browns, tigers and copperheads here. Kay got the snake-catcher and he said to leave him there as he’d be eating mice and rats under the building and keeping them out of the store. He said snakes are docile and they only get aggressive if you provoke them.’

‘Yeah?’ Kiev looked interested. ‘I thought they were always vicious.’

‘Well, if you attacked a rottweiler with a stick or a spade, which is what people do to snakes, it’d get vicious too, and turn on you. The snake guy said he didn’t expect us to
love
Sylvester, just to live with him. So that’s what Kay and Cam decided to do.’

‘Sylvester?’

Flick looked sheepish. ‘That’s his name.’

‘It’s a bit wimpy for a tiger snake. He should be called Rajah or something.’

‘Well, I think it was the first name that came into Kay’s head. She wanted something that started with S, and we already have a seal called Sergio that lives near the point and two of the kookaburras are called Sean and Sarah. And Sylvester Stallone’s tough, so …’

Flick knew she was gabbling on, but the shock of seeing Sylvester was a bit nerve-wracking. Usually, he lived under the building and hardly ever came out, because he, like most snakes, preferred the late evening to loll about in summer when the concrete was a bit cooler and no one was in the courtyard.

Kay and Cam had given up trying to entice the wily snake out with a saucer of milk when the snake-catcher came.

‘This snake’s too cunning for that,’ the guy had said. ‘Just leave him alone. He’ll be useful for catching rats and mice that try to get into your shop. I’ll bet you haven’t had trouble with vermin for a while.’

‘No, we haven’t,’ Kay had admitted.

‘There you go, then.’

So Sylvester got to stay as resident vermin catcher.

Braden, who’d been scared out of his wits one dark night when a snake slithered across the road in front of him and disappeared under the shed, wasn’t too keen on the idea of a venomous snake curled up under the floorboards. But because Sylvester was a
silent tenant and they never saw him, they’d all forgotten about him. And as Cam had pointed out, it was safer knowing the snake was under the building than slithering round in the camping ground.

‘Will it come back?’ Kiev was looking a bit dubious.

‘Not while we’re here.’

‘You’d better stay with me, then. I don’t know if I could cope if Sylvester suddenly decides he wants a go at my food. Or me.’

‘Okay. But I’d better tell Kay.’

Flick rushed inside and whispered in Kay’s ear. She didn’t want Braden panicking and tearing out into the crowd shouting about a snake at the top of his lungs.

‘How come she gets to sit out there with Kiev while we’re slaving away in here?’ Angela griped in a loud voice as Flick scurried outside again.

‘It’th not really fair,’ bleated Braden. ‘You docked my wageth when I only dithappeared for a few minuteth.’

‘All right, Braden, I won’t dock your wages if you stop whining right now and do your work,’ said Kay in a stern voice.

Tania had finally turned up and was sent to clear tables and tidy up.

Liz contented herself with peeping out the window
when she took some bowls through to the back room. She could see the two fair heads bent close together, deep in conversation. Lucky Flick. But if it had been her out there, she’d have been tongue-tied with terror.

She saw Kiev offer Flick a bite from his sandwich. Wide-eyed, Liz watched as Flick accepted. Bits of salad fell on the table. Kiev gently wiped a shred of lettuce from the corner of Flick’s mouth with his finger.

Then to Liz’s horror, he leaned forward and kissed Flick firmly on the lips.

Liz was putting the tops on ten ham and salad rolls when Flick and Kiev meandered past.

‘Oh, Liz, did you want Kiev’s autograph before he gets on the bus?’ Flick asked.

‘No,’ Liz replied shortly, not looking at either of them.

Kiev raised his eyebrows inquiringly at Flick. Was this the best friend she’d just told him about? In response, Flick shrugged. She didn’t have a clue what had gotten into Liz. It was unlike her to be short-tempered and rude.

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’ll just see Kiev to the bus.’

Tossing the cardboard shake container into the bin, Kiev followed Flick through to the front of the shop. There was now an even bigger crowd
pressing against the glass for a glimpse of their TV idol.

‘Make way,’ said Dave importantly, shouldering a path through to the bus.

Kiev looked at Flick. It was as if an electric current passed between the two of them as Flick’s deep blue eyes met cornflower blue and were lowered in confusion.

‘Come with me, Flick,’ said Kiev urgently. ‘We need to talk.’

‘I can’t. I’ve got to serve in the store,’ said Flick, confused by the strange feeling that was reducing her bones to the consistency of wet spaghetti.

‘I’ll pay someone else to do it.’

He looked round at the crowd and was about to beckon a girl aged about sixteen, but Flick clutched at his sleeve.

‘No. You don’t understand. Kay’s short-handed. One of the casuals hasn’t turned up and the other’s just learning. And I’ve got to act responsibly. I need this job to help pay for my uni course. I can’t just chuck it in and go off with you on the tour bus. This isn’t some corny TV script, this is real life.’

They stared at each other. Then Kiev smiled into her troubled eyes.

‘I’ll be in touch,’ he said, as he leapt up the steps.

Flick stood there, rooted to the spot, as the bus trundled off. All round her the crowd shouted and waved but she was silent as she watched it round the bend and disappear from sight. Slowly, the crowd dispersed, some heading to the beach while others decided to get a cool drink, an ice-cream or a snack from the store.

Mechanically, Flick moved through the door and into her familiar position behind the counter. The orders came thick and fast. Ham, cheese and avocado toasted multigrain. Five buckets of chips. Chicken salad, no onion. Hot dog and mustard sauce. Two meat pies and sauce. Fried flake and chips. Three fried dim sims and six potato cakes. Beef burger with the lot. On and on till Flick felt her head beginning to spin. And all the while Kiev’s words ringing in her ears. ‘I’ll be in touch.’

How could he get in touch with her? She hadn’t even told him her proper name! She’d raved on about Liz, Kay and Coolini Beach. All he knew was that she was called Flick and worked in the Coolini Beach general store.

She’d never experienced such a powerful magnetic attraction to anyone like that before. It was exciting. And scary. And she couldn’t understand it at all.

Last night she’d been hugging Tim’s clothes, head
over heels in love with him. How could she be in love with Tim and suddenly be crazy about Kiev Beauman whom she’d only met for about a hour all told? You couldn’t love two men at once, could you? Maybe it was just that she’d been swept off her feet by someone rich, handsome and famous. Flick groaned to herself. This was terrible!

‘I said “Three pies and two sausage rolls”, not the other way round,’ snapped a woman as Flick gave her the wrong order.

‘Fried flake, not a crumbed chicken burger,’ someone else complained.

‘Sorry.’ Flick turned and knocked over a milkshake that was waiting to be picked up off the counter and strawberry milk went sloshing all over a woman’s white dress.

‘Oh, sorry.’

‘And I suppose you’re going to pay for the dry cleaning?’

‘What’s
wrong
with you?’ said Kay, when Flick dropped a ham and tomato sandwich and trod on it. ‘Pull yourself together!’

This was a nightmare.

Flick went into the coolroom for more tomatoes. On the way she passed Liz who was buttering bread furiously.

‘I saw you,’ hissed Liz.

‘Saw me what?’

‘Kissing Kiev.’

‘I didn’t. He kissed me.’

‘Well you didn’t seem to be trying to stop him. In fact, you looked like you were enjoying it.’ Liz’s green eyes flashed sparks of fury. ‘And remember, that’s my brother you were busy cheating on, you … you … two-timing bitch!’

Flick’s mouth dropped open then closed again like a stranded fish gasping for air. Her best friend Liz calling her a bitch?

Flick whirled away into the coolroom and rested her flaming cheeks on a box of peaches. How could she have let Kiev kiss her when she was supposed to be going with Tim? But worse, she’d liked it. His kiss had sent her blood pounding and her heart thumping like a techno machine. When Tim kissed her it was nice. Her heart went faster and she felt excited and happy, but when Kiev kissed her the whole world had stood still as if time had ceased to exist.

Flick gave a little gasp. What if Kiev didn’t call her? He’d only left an hour ago and already she was pining for the sight of those deep magnetic blue eyes and his gentle smile.

But he was Kiev Beauman, TV star. He could have
any girl he wanted, so why should he want her, Felicity? Maybe he was just toying with her. Someone to try out his magnetic charms on to satisfy his ego.

Tears rolled down Flick’s cheeks and dripped onto the tomatoes she was holding. Liz had called her a two-timing bitch. She hadn’t meant to be unfaithful to Tim in any way: the kiss had just happened.

Sighing, Flick brushed the telltale streaks from her face, took a deep breath and came out of the coolroom. Angela gave her a filthy look as she passed her and muttered ‘Two-faced bitch’.

Two-faced bitch? Angela played round with more boys than you could count on your fingers and toes at the same time.

‘If I’m a two-faced bitch then you’re a ten-times bitch,’ said Flick in a cool voice, and kept walking.

Somehow she got through the rest of the afternoon without making any major mistakes. But the accusation of being a cheat and a two-timer really hurt. And there was guilt with the feeling too.

Flick knew what it felt like to be cheated on. Before coming to Coolini Beach, she’d met Todd Newton at uni in Adelaide, and they’d been going out for nine months. Todd had told Flick she was the only girl for him, that he’d save up so they could live together and they’d eventually get married. But all the
time he was saying this earnestly and gazing into her eyes, he was two-timing her with a girl from his home town out bush near the Flinders Ranges, whom he’d suddenly and inexplicably fallen for like a lightning-struck idiot.

When she’d accidentally found love letters from the other girl stuffed in the glove box of his car, Flick had lost her temper, thrown him out of her flat, then packed her few belongings into her little red car and driven relentlessly towards Victoria. She’d wanted to get away from Todd and her feelings, but found that she’d taken her emotions with her.

By the time Flick had finally driven through Mount Gambier and then along the bleak stretch of coast near Cape Otway, she’d run out of money. And she was exhausted She’d driven on through Apollo Bay hoping to reach Lorne and spend the night in a backpackers’ hostel, but the drive around the winding Great Ocean Road had taken longer than she’d anticipated. She’d pulled into Coolini Beach just as the sun was setting, and decided to get a pie and a coffee at the general store. When she’d seen the notice on the window saying there was a vacancy for a shop assistant, she’d thought about it for approximately three minutes then applied for and got the job.

She’d been lucky because there was an old bus over in the caravan park owned by the ranger, so now that was her new home. Seventy dollars a week, and she’d paid up front for two weeks’ rent. It had a double bed, a single bed, fridge, table, sink, stove, bench, cupboards, wardrobe and TV. What more did she need? Kay always gave her leftover food to take back to the bus, the shower block was nearby, and the people around her in the village and the camping ground were friendly yet didn’t encroach into her space.

She’d never told anyone at Coolini Beach why she didn’t want to go out on dates or have a permanent boyfriend. It was nobody’s business but her own as far as she was concerned. And there were no parents to check up on her either.

In a way that was good, but in a way it was scary. She could disappear off the face of the earth and no one would care a fig. Mum was in America married to a photographer and living in New York. Flick had been there only once and hated it. And her stepfather was a slimy creep who couldn’t keep his hands to himself. But Mum was besotted and couldn’t see anything wrong with him.

Dad was dead, killed in a car accident. It had happened when Flick was sixteen, and she still woke
up crying in the night after one of her nightmares about the accident.

Flick was sure that her father’s insurance payout was the reason why Rolf had been attracted to Mum, but when she’d said this, Mum had screamed at her and slapped her face. Then when Mum had gone to New York to live, she’d told Flick’s sister Beth to keep an eye on the seventeen-year-old Felicity who was finishing her final exams before going to uni. Beth hadn’t worried too much about Flick. She was a sensible girl, very studious, and had a nice boyfriend. So Beth’d virtually left her alone in her small one-bedroom flat near the uni in Carlton.

At least Dad’s will had included a clause that provided the money for her accommodation and further education, and Flick’d enjoyed her first year of arts/law, studying hard and daydreaming about being Todd’s live-in partner, helping him establish his law practice, maybe getting married and living happily ever after. So that dream had really exploded in her face when she found out Todd was cheating on her.

Then she’d met Tim, just as she’d given up hope of ever trusting anyone again, and they’d been an item for two weeks. And here she was doing the same thing to Tim. Well, not quite — she’d only talked to
Kiev, mainly about the habits of snakes, and had shared that brief kiss, but it was her emotions and feelings that were betraying the trust. Right now she was supposed to be in love with Tim, but the person she wanted desperately to be with was Kiev.

Flick sighed. Soon she’d be nineteen, not that anyone except Liz and Tim knew. Her mother would forget, her aunts and uncles would forget and maybe she herself should forget, because she was acting like a love-sick thirteen-year-old. Even Liz was more mature.

‘Flick, can you show Sophie and Tania how to work the cappuccino machine?’ Kay’s voice broke into Flick’s thoughts.

‘Sure.’

Flick was tired. She’d been on her feet without a break since eight, apart from that brief respite with Kiev in the courtyard. She pulled herself together and tried to concentrate as she showed them how to put the coffee in the attachment and press it down firmly before fitting it onto the machine, how to make the frothy hot milk, and how to clean out the used coffee grounds. She was struggling not to yawn. The surge of energy that had buoyed her up and kept her going had died, leaving her feeling drained and exhausted. Too much had happened too quickly.

Tania was quick to learn and Sophie was as thick as two bricks. Flick made them both go through the procedure and produce a cappuccino each before she was satisfied they could work the machine. She knew Tania had grasped the idea but wasn’t sure whether Sophie would remember what to do fifteen minutes later.

‘Take a break,’ said Kay, noticing Flick’s white, strained face.

Flick looked across at Liz. She would’ve liked a quick word, but Liz had her head down in the ice-creamery, busily scooping out a large serving of boysenberry to pile on a wafer.

‘Go.’ Kay gently steered her towards the door.

Outside, the sun’s rays were searing hot as Flick strolled across the road and down the track that led to the beach. She was always fascinated by the sea and the beach, and never ceased to marvel at the changes she saw every day. Sometimes an easterly wind would bring in piles of thick kelp that would litter the beach like a herd of snoozing seals. Then the westerly would blow in and the kelp would be washed away with the tide, leaving the sand hard and smooth.

Right now the sand was dotted with bodies sunbathing, kids playing, colourful beach umbrellas, abandoned surfboards and families having fun. A
small bank of white fluffy clouds hung low on the horizon, looking like someone had flung heaps of shaving cream at the otherwise clear blue sky. Today the sea was turquoise, but in the afternoon it could look ultramarine blue, emerald green or even grey if the clouds came rolling in.

Taking off her shoes, Flick decided to go for a walk round the point. She didn’t fancy getting caught up in the crowd scene: she needed to be alone to sort out her thoughts and feelings.

She strode along the hard-packed sand, smiling and waving at the people she knew, but obviously wanting to be on her own. But of course, Boofa didn’t know that.

Boofa was a big black dog that belonged to Brett, a permanent resident and mad-keen surfer. Being slightly crazy and exuberant with the joy of youth, Boofa was supposed to be locked up during the summer season because he liked to tear round and be everyone’s friend. And a lot of people didn’t appreciate getting leapt on and licked by a damp and sandy black dog.

Boofa was a brilliant escape artist, however, and once free he would head straight for the camping ground, where there was food and kids. Boofa loved to play ball with anyone who was willing and heaps
of kids usually were keen to oblige. When he’d finished visiting the tents, helping himself to food and playing ball, he would run down to the beach to see if he could spot Brett cracking a few waves. The dog catcher had picked him up a few times when people had complained and Brett had to pay the fines.

‘Oh no,’ said Flick, as Boofa bounded up. ‘You’re not supposed to be on the beach. You’ll get dog-napped by the ranger again if you’re not careful.’

Boofa wagged his feathery black tail and looked at her with his long pink tongue hanging out.