CORAL (A Romance Trilogy, Book 1) (32 page)

“Bob, do you work out?” I ask,
finding my sunglasses and popping them on.

“Yes, every morning.” He smiles.

“Really, what do you do?” I ask
feeling quite shocked.

“Calisthenics.”
What?

“Oh!” I say not wanting to say I
don’t know what that is. But Bob is too wise for that, he chuckles again and
pats my hand.

“Squats, press-ups, crunches,
that sort of thing,” he says. I decide the moment I’m home I’ll check it out on
the web.

“Cool, good for you. You can
tell,” I say squeezing the muscle on his arm.

“A compliment,” Bob says raising
his chin in the air. “Sure feel proud to have you on my arm Coral.” He’s such a
smoothie.

“Ah Bob, me too,” I say and kiss
his cheek again.
I wish he were my Granddad!

We make it to the car at a much
slower pace than we would have done, Bob maybe fit but he doesn’t walk as
quickly as he used to.

“Gladys, have you told Debs yet?”
I ask wondering if she’s shared their news.

“No darling, taken the ring off,”
she says wiggling her hand at me.

“Oh, ok!” I frown, wondering why
she hasn’t, it seems a little odd to me. “When
are
you going to tell
her?” I enquire.

“Soon,” she answers.
Humph!
“Gosh, isn’t it such a beautiful day for the barbeque,” Gladys smiles, changing
the subject.

“Barbeque?” I frown.

“Yes dear, you know what they’re
like. They asked Lily if she wanted sandwiches, ice-cream and jelly and she
said no, she wanted Daddy’s burgers,” Gladys chuckles. “Ten years older than
she is that one!” I roll my eyes, how spoilt. If it had been my kid they would
have got what they got.
Hey-ho! Everybody’s different I guess.

As we head west on the A259
towards Worthing, I let my mind drift. Gladys and Bob are in animated
discussion about some political thing going on and I am not interested in the
slightest, people get so agitated about all that stuff. Life’s stressful enough
without barking on about what some fat cat in a suit has been up to.

I think about Rob and the fact
that I still haven’t heard from him, even after sending him a quick text in the
car last night and again this morning while I was frantically getting dressed,
quite frankly, it’s just rude not to reply and let me know he’s ok.

Then I think about everything I
discussed with George, finally letting him know about...I shut the door on that
thought, but at least it’s out there now and I can start healing. I cross my
fingers as I think about the upcoming hypnotherapy session, I really hope it
works, I really do want to move on from all the crap that swirls around in my
head, from all the insecure feelings that hold me back from really living life
to the full, taking chances, being brave and not feeling so afraid all the
time.

Thinking about it all makes me
want to start the hypnotherapy straight away if I can, so I pull my mobile out
my bag and send a quick message to George, he instantly texts me back saying
that Cindy Crosby is away for the weekend but he has left a message, so we
should hear something back on Monday.

My stomach drops, what if I have
to wait ages? I don’t want to do that? But I’m very much like that, once I get
an idea in my head I go for it full force. So I text George again asking if he
thinks there’s any chance I’ll get in for a session next week. He says yes, but
it will more than likely be a daytime slot that’s free. I text him thanks and
make a mental note to tell Joyce about it, I’m sure she’ll give me the time off
that I need.

And then my mind drifts again to
Tristan -
Oh Tristan, Tristan, Tristan, what am I going to do about you?
The
dream comes back to me and I’m instantly transported into my own little world,
our little world. I still remember it all so clearly, the boat, the water, the
beautiful scenery and Tristan looking like, well the sexiest man I have ever
seen. But the feeling,
oh that beautiful feeling!
I have never felt so
serene in my entire life, so I have to question.

Could I really have such
serenity? Could I really feel that blissfully happy with Tristan? And the
resounding answer is – Yes, I could.

I swallow hard at that thought.
My head starts to argue with me of course, all the usual stuff, that I’m not
good enough, that I’m un-lovable, that I’m a freak and how could such a
gorgeous, successful man be interested in the likes of me?

I’m nothing, I’m – “Stop,” I
shout out loud scolding myself. Malcolm slams on the break and we all lurch
forward, luckily there’s no-one behind us, so we don’t get hit. “Sorry, sorry!”
I frantically say, Malcolm pulls over and lets the car idle.

“Are you alright Coral?” he asks
turning in his seat, appraising me.

I run my hands through my hair.
“Yeah, I’m fine...I was just talking out loud. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean
for you to...” I shake my head at myself. I can see he’s trying to work out if
I really am ok.

“Coral that was really silly,”
Gladys shouts. “You almost gave me a heart-attack, and we could have had an
accident!” She bellows.

“I know, I know.” I say feeling
guilty. Malcolm pulls back out into traffic and I decide to keep a lid on my
wayward thinking. But five minutes in, they continue their discussion on the
economy and the state of the EU, and I’m drifting off again...
So what
conclusion did I come to?

I think all these stupid things
about myself but should I let that stop me, or should I just give Tristan a go,
have a date with him? My hands start to shake in nervous anticipation, just
thinking about it being real makes me feel a little nauseous.

Ok, so maybe I could do that, but
what about...sex? What about when that time comes, I made Justin wait way too
long, would Tristan wait? Somehow I doubt that, then I doubt that doubt. If a
man really cares for a woman and an attachment is growing between them, then
doesn’t he also have respect for that woman? And if he does, then wouldn’t he
want to go at her pace?
What are you talking about Coral? How many times
have you imagined having sex with him?

I finally admit the truth to
myself, way too many times!
And did it feel, scary? Were you frightened?
In
the fantasies – No, I wasn’t, it felt good and close and intimate and...I feel
myself starting to get turned on in a car with Gladys and Malcolm and Bob –
Ew!
Stop!

I sigh heavily and picture a load
of doughnuts so it takes the sexy, hot image of Tristan and I...
Oh fuck its
back!

Ok, ok! Let’s just think about
all this logically.
You want him?
– Yes.
So you’re going to say yes
to a date with him?
– Yes. Then I think it’s going to be a whole month
until I see him again, that’s just too long. So how do I make contact with him
without coming across and needy or desperate, which I’m not…I’m just...well
totally hot for him –
Oh my God!

Yep I finally admitted it. Then I
think about what I said to George last night that I love him, that I’m
in
love with him. I still don’t understand how that can be, I hardly know him?

Then I think about what George
said –
“Talk to him, tell him about yourself, bit by bit”
Can I do that?
You don’t have any other choice, you want him to know you, understand you then
you have to let him in, take the chance. My hands start shaking again, boy
that’s a scary thing to do.

Yep sure is! But let’s face it
you want to be on your own? You want to be a lonely old lady who looks back on
her life with regret? And angry with herself because she was a coward who
didn’t face her fears, and live her life to the fullest? Is that what you want
Coral?

I finally succumb to my own
brutal words. No, no, I don’t want any of that, no way. I want love and
friendships and family and happiness!
Do you think you deserve it?
I’m
still in two minds about that one, but I guess I’ll soon find out. Then it
comes to me – I have bought Tristan a painting, so I can just casually call him
up, see if he got the house, and if he did, I could what?

Go round give him the painting?
No seems too obvious! Hmm...I could help him move in? No, he’ll have people to
do that for him! Help him buy furniture for his new pad? I know all the best
places. Yes! That could definitely work, I feel like punching my hand in the
air, but decide it’s best not to do that, Gladys will probably bollock me
again!

My feet do a little tap dance all
of their own and a stupid grin spreads across my face. Then I remember Bob is
sat in the back with me, but when I peek at him out of the corner of my eye, I
see he is snoozing.
Phew that was lucky!

Feeling absolutely positive about
my decision, I allow the dream to come back to me, I close my eyes and
surrender to its beauty...

THE CAR STOPS PULLING ME FROM MY DAY-DREAM
. I feel annoyed that I have to go back to reality. I hop out the
car then run around it to help Bob out.

“Thank you darling,” he croaks,
still a little sleepy.

As I turn us both around I notice
a
For Sale
sign is up outside Debs house, that’s odd, Debs hasn’t said
anything to me about moving? I instantly feel pissed off about it.
Why
hasn’t she told me this?

I take hold of Bob’s arm and help
him up the steps to the front door, Gladys rings the bell. I cringe when I hear
the screaming coming from the back garden. Scott opens the door and welcomes us
all in. We all trail through the house and into the kitchen, looking out I can
see the garden is already packed with adults and so many kids – Lily must be
really popular at her nursery.

Gladys and Malcolm take Bob
outside, and I’m about to follow when someone flicks my ear.
What the fuck?
I spin around and see Debs grinning at me.

“Hey trouble,” she chuckles.

“Not funny!” I grumble back.

Debs pulls me into her and hugs
me hard. “It’s been ages,” she says.

“I know.” I roll my eyes and pull
out of her hug. “So it’s pretty packed out there huh?”

“Yeah....Lily’s well happy,” she
says her eyes glistening over.

“So what’s with the sale sign?” I
gripe.

“Scott got a promotion...we
um....wanted a bigger place,” she answers nonchalantly. But I can tell there’s
something more, something I’m missing. So I decide to probe.

“So you’re just getting a bigger
place in Worthing?”

“Well....no,” Debs instantly
looks flustered.

“What’s going on Debs?” I snap,
crossing my arms as I do.

“Nothing,” she squeaks. “We
probably will stay in Worthing, it just depends what we can get for this
place.” I scowl at her, for some reason I don’t believe her.

“So why didn’t you tell me?” I
question. “I mean if it’s no big deal why not just tell...” I trail off
suddenly thinking of Malcolm, when Debs just saw him; it was as though they had
met before.

“You know!” I hiss feeling angry
and betrayed that Gladys has done this.

“Know what?” She hisses back.

“About Malcolm,” I growl quietly
through gritted teeth.

“So!” She whines.

“What do you mean
so
?” I
hiss even more vehemently.

“For god’s sake Coral, why do you
think Mom told me and not you, hmm?”

I glare back at Debs we are almost
nose to nose. “Why don’t you enlighten me?” I growl more threateningly.

“Don’t you dare look at me like
that,” she snaps, her voice wobbling slightly.

“Like what?” I hiss again.

“Like you want to punch me in the
face, you really piss me off sometimes you know that. You and your effing
temper!” Debs goes to storm off but I grab her by the arm and stop her. I take
a deep breath and exhale.

“Tell me why Debs,” I implore.
She shakes her head and closes her eyes, when she reopens them she’s looking at
me in the strangest way.

“Because you over-react to
everything,” she sighs. “And Mom wanted to make sure what she had was going to
be something permanent before she told you, maybe if you relaxed a bit more,
weren’t so wound up all the time she might have...” Debs throws her hand up in
the air. “You know what I can’t be dealing with this at the moment. I’ve got a
birthday party to run.” She pulls her arm out of my grip we glare at each other
for a moment.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare
you.” I whisper. Debs shakes her head at me and walks off into the sunshine. I
turn away from the party and take several deep breaths to calm myself down, I’m
about to go and have it out with Gladys when – “Aunty Coral!” A sweet little
voice screams.

I turn just in time to catch Lily
who has launched herself into my arms.
Why is she wearing a swimming
costume?

“Hey kiddo, happy birthday.” I
say cheerfully.

“Thank you.” She smiles sweetly
at me and kisses my cheek.

“Have you opened any of your
presents yet?” I ask.