Corrupted (9 page)

Today Tracie and I are going shopping for basically everything in Jordan’s house. “So he has nothing, Trace, like I can’t even believe the lack of stuff.”

“Okay, well then this shit might take a couple of days.” We start to laugh as she pulls up to the furniture store. “So what kind of stuff you think you want?”

“Um, maybe leather? I mean all the guys like leather right?” Jordan and I never really had the ‘what type of furniture do you like’ talk.

“Girl, just because he’s in the MC does not mean your house should be all black, red, and leather. However, you also can’t deck that shit out it pink and flowers either.” She smiles at me and we start to walk through the store. “So is Jordan taking you to get a tat?”

“A tattoo? Why would he take me to get one of those?” Thinking about needles anywhere near my skin has me shivering.

“Um, cause he claimed your ass. It’s like an unwritten rule. All the old lady’s get tats for their guys.” I look at her dumbfounded. “I can’t believe he didn’t say anything. He probably thought your virginal mind would implode from everything.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t, Mary. I’m like your Yoda when it comes to this shit. Listen to me, you will. You should totally get one today, the club has a guy they use. I’m texting him.” Before I can object, her phone is out.

“Tracie, I don’t think this is a good idea.” There is no way I can do this. “I mean a tattoo is so permanent.” And needles have always freaked me the hell out.

“Yeah, well so is becomin’ an old lady. You let that boy claim you.” She grins at me. Tracie is so free spirited, and spontaneous. I want to be like her.

I look at her before plopping down on the couch. “I’ll go talk to the guy. No promises.” If you told me four years ago, I’d be with a biker, living with him, and possibly getting a tattoo, I would have told you that you were out of your damn mind. We spend the day picking out couches, kitchen tables, and dressers.

Right after, Tracie drags me to the shop. Walking in, there are framed pictures of tattoos all over the walls. The guy behind the counter is looking down, so I take a minute to look him over. He has two large holes in his ears that hang almost to his shoulders, his eyebrows, nose and lip are all pierced. There is also not very much skin that isn’t decorated on him.
What the hell happens when you run out of room?

“Jace, this is Mary.” He looks up.

“Hey, what’s up? What are you girls in for today?” His voice is deep and monotone.

“Mary here needs the old lady special.” She winks at him and my face heats with embarrassment.

“She got ID?”

I totally don’t. I’m saved!

“She doesn’t, do it as a favor to the club?” She leans over the counter, her boobs almost busting out of her v-neck shirt.

“You got it.” He walks toward the back of the shop.

“Follow him, chicken shit.” Tracie nudges me forward.

My nerves are heightened and my entire body is shaking. I want Jordan to be proud of me, I don’t want him to regret choosing me. I hope he appreciates this shit. When I walk into the back of the shop, I see Jace standing in one of the doorways. I walk into the room and sit down into the chair.

“Where do ya want it?”

“Um . . .” I have no idea. I look up at Tracie.

“She wants it right here.” Tracie points to my hip.

I take a deep shaky breath as I see him getting all of the supplies together. My fingernails dig into the soft cushion of the chair. He shows me the design, which is apparently what everyone gets. It’s the club insignia with Jordan’s name under it.

“Ya gotta pull your shirt up and your pants down some.” When he rolls his chair over to me, my heart starts to pound.

He flips a switch and the machine starts to hum. When the needle touches my skin, I yelp. It burns and the burning is creating an aching pain all around the area. I try to slow my rapid breathing, not wanting him to mess up. After a few minutes it isn’t as painful, but every once in a while I’ll groan. This sucks. I lay my head back not able to sit there and watch. I close my eyes trying to transport myself somewhere else, focus on anything else.

After what feels like forever, the machine turns off. “All done.”

I look down and it actually looks really cool. I smile at Tracie.

“Told you it’d be great. You’re totally gonna be hooked now.”

Jace wipes the tattoo clean before covering it in a layer of ointment. He then wraps my tattoo in saran wrap, and explains to me all the after care instructions.

Walking out of the shop, I’m stopped dead in my tracks. Holy fuck. Tracie bumps into me. “What the hell, Luce?”

“Well, if it ain’t the sinner. Where have you been hiding, sis?” My brother, Andrew, stares at me with hateful eyes. He is standing in front of me with a few of my cousins. My stomach drops as I am standing in front of my past that I’ve been running from for the longest time.

“Luce, who are they?” Tracie’s hand touches my shoulder.

Andrew takes a step toward me, he is two years older than me and about a half a foot taller. I want to back up, to run, but I can’t move. I was careless coming into town like this. Stupid to think I could escape them. “I see that you have been keeping some interesting company.” He sneers at Tracie, his eyes assessing her.

“Fuck this, Lucy let’s go.” I can’t look away from Andrew’s eyes. I feel like I never left, like I am still under their control. At his mercy.

My door opens and I freeze in bed. I haven’t been able to sleep thinking he would come back tonight. Pretend you’re sleeping maybe he’ll leave. When I feel the blanket being slowly pulled off me I cry a silent tear.

“I know you’re not asleep. You know there is no point to fight me. You don’t want to wake up the other girls, Lucy.”

I look at my younger sisters, remembering his threat to hurt them if I woke them up.

His hand grabs my throat while his other roughly grasps my breasts. His fingernails dig into my skin and a painful squeak escapes me.

“I can see it in your eyes, you like it, Lucy. You’re a sinner and that’s all you’ll ever be.”

His hand travels down my body cupping me forcefully, his fingers pinching me. Tears stream down my face as I bite the inside of my cheek. His hand tightens on my neck and it starts to become harder to breathe. My heart pounds so loud I can hear it in my ears.

I’m frozen, unable to defend myself against him.

Andrew visited me every night for a year, before I ran away. “Do you remember it? I knew you were a sinner back then. I’ll make sure to tell Uncle Simon you say hello. He’s been looking for you.” I can hear rumbling in the distance. Andrew leans into me, “Maybe he’ll let me have some fun with you as a reward.”

They suddenly run away from us. Tracie is calling me and I can hear the fear in her voice. I’m numb. I’ve shut down. Twisted is standing in front of me. His mouth is moving but I can’t really make out what he is saying. I’m picked up and carried to Tracie’s car. The entire time I make no moves, I don’t utter a word. I want to disappear. I need to hide.

I’ve let them find me.

I’m brought into a room and sat on a bed. Once the door shuts, I stand making my first voluntary movement since I saw
him
. I look around. I need to hide. The room is a square box, there’s nowhere to go.

I curl into a ball in the corner and my tears pour out. I’m trapped. My uncle is coming for me. I need to protect myself.

Curl into a ball, then there are less places he can hit you
, I still remember my older sister’s advice on her wedding day. She knew when she left, my father would turn his anger to the next oldest, me. I follow her advice. Curling myself so tight my muscles hurt from the strain. My cries turn quiet. If I’m quiet, they might not find me.

I hear voices in the room but I don’t look up to see them. I’m hiding. Someone touches me and I flinch away. Don’t scream, it only makes them angrier. The hands pull me from my corner, I refuse to help them. I make myself as heavy as I can. They are trying to pull my hands from my face, I grasp my elbows tight fighting them.

“Lucy!” I shake from the yell.

My hands are roughly pulled away but I clamp my eyes shut. I don’t want to see them. I can’t face them.

I can feel someone next to my ear. “Sweets, it’s me. Please open your eyes.”

Jordan. He can’t be here. Can he? I open one eye very slightly and catch a glimpse of him. My body relaxes. I’m sitting on his lap. His arms encircle me, his protection surrounding me. I’m safe. I look around realizing I’m in Jordan’s room. I’m at the club.

“Lucy, talk to me, babe. Everyone is fucking scared for you. Let us know you’re okay.” His voice is cracking, and soft as he whispers in my ear. I bury my head farther into his chest, wanting to lose myself in him. My breathing starts to even out, my crying slowing. Jordan holds me until I pull back to look at his face. “Talk to me, babe.”

I bite my bottom lip. “I don’t know where the hell I went, but it was like I wasn’t here.” My voice is soft, and vulnerable. My body is still shaking.

“Tell me what happened. Who was he? Tracie said he looked like he might have been from the community.” His hold on me doesn’t ease.

“He is my brother. He—” I lower my head to his chest. I can’t tell him this. He’ll know I’m dirty, tainted, used. That’s what Andrew always used to tell me. If I told anyone, no one would ever want me.

“Tell me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I shake my head. “Lucy, you can trust me. I love you. I need you to tell me what’s going on. Lean on me.” His plea hits my heart.

I slowly tell him what happened. My voice breaks throughout the story. His body hardens the more I speak. I can feel the anger radiating off him.

“I know it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have been out with Tracie.”

“No. You are not at fault in any of this. You aren’t a prisoner, you don’t need to hide anymore. I will take care of that shit bag.” His muscles tense.

“No. Jordan, you can’t. You don’t know what they’re like, or what they are capable of.” My hands grip his shirt.

“Babe, you’re a part of this club now. You’re family. We don’t let anyone fuck with our family. Trust me when I say they have nothing on us.”

I start to cry again. I hate that I’ve put them all in this position. If one of them gets hurt because of me, it would kill me. “You don’t need to worry about going out. The only thing is that if I’m not around you are going to take Danny with you. He’s a new prospect, and he’s gonna be here when I’m not.”

A knock sounds, when the door opens Tracie comes in. Her eyes are red-rimmed and her face is pale.

“She’s okay ,Trace.” Jordan answers for me.

“Luce?” Her voice is soft, nothing like her normal self. She’s looking at me for assurance.

I nod. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

She walks over to me and Jordan’s arms release me. Tracie wraps me in a hug. “Don’t you ever do that shit to me again, girl. This emotional crap is ruining my rep.”

I let out a small laugh.

“Jordan, Pres wants you. I’ll stay with Lucy.” She sits down next to me on the bed.

“You okay?” Jordan looks at me. I reluctantly nod knowing that he needs to go. He places a kiss on my lips before leaving the room.

“You sure you’re okay?” Tracie is looking at me as if I might break.

“No, I’m not. There is so much you guys don’t know about my past. Andrew is one of those things. It’s ugly and painful. I’m sorry about today.” I fidget with my hands in my lap.

“Luce, don’t apologize for anything. I just didn’t know what to do. He was just standing there towering over you. I tried to get you to walk away but it was like you couldn’t hear me. I called Twisted and luckily they had been close. When he brought you back here, we all tried to talk to you but you wouldn’t leave the corner. We were all freaking out.” She runs her hand through her short hair. “We weren’t mad, just worried. You’re one of us now. We protect our own.”

That is just like what Jordan said to me.

“I’ve never had a real family, so I don’t know much about this stuff.” I confess to her.

“Well now you do, sister.” She wraps her arms around me.

Now I do.