Courage in the Kiss (11 page)

Maxx arrived at the hospital an hour later and was given ten minutes to speak to his father alone, before the doctor wanted to check his observations again.

He’d just finished filling out all the relevant paperwork, so he pulled the curtain over the cubicle and advanced on the only bed, where his father lay. He looked so pale and kind of pissed, as he folded and unfolded the sheet over his chest.

“Shit, Dad, what have you been up to?” he asked jokingly, trying not to get angry with him for something that wasn’t his fault as he approached the bed.

Emerson was sitting up in bed, his face flushed with embarrassment. “Oh, I haven’t done anything,” he grumbled, fussing over the cover. “I collapsed at the cabin, just before Barnabas left. So he phoned the ambulance and brought me here against my many objections,” he complained. “The old fool thought I was dying. I certainly ruined his plans, didn’t I?” He snorted, holding back his laughter.

Maxx smiled wearily, shaking his head as he finally took a seat. “You had us thinking something serious had happened. Hadley’s worried about you.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

He stalled as he realised his slip up; he shouldn’t have mentioned Hadley. If he wasn’t careful, his dad would start asking questions about how he knew what she was going through.

Then again, his dad considered her a member of the family already, so he could get away with saying he’d woken her before he left.

“Yes, poor girl,” Emerson said, sarcastically. “Well, you can tell her it’s not some trick to make her stay with us. If she wants to leave so much then she can just do it,” he argued.

“Dad,” Maxx scolded his father, disapproving of his tone. “Don’t be like that. She just felt like she had no other choice,” he tried explaining, but it was best leaving that to Hadley. Only she could understand her frame of mind and explain it so his dad would understand.

Besides, it wasn’t his place to fight her battles. Refusing to be adopted must have been a difficult choice for her, weighing up a relationship she may never have against finally having the family she’d always wanted.

“No other choice than what? Joining our family? That’s rich,” his dad scoffed, glaring across the room. “After all we’ve done for her these past years, you’d think she’d be only too happy to be one of us,” Emerson grumbled.

“But she is…can’t you see that?”

“See what? What are you babbling about?”

Maxx ran his hand through his hair and thought about how to say this, without hinting at his new relationship with Hadley or her real reason for refusing to be adopted. Everything was getting a little complicated now, which was the last thing he’d wanted when he kissed her. He’d never imagined, until they made it to his bedroom that she was a virgin. By then, it was far too late to stop what was happening between them.

“Hadley
is
one of us, whether there’s a piece of paper to prove it or not. She knows each and every one of us inside out and has always been there for us when we needed her,” he stated, getting up from his seat. He walked over to the room window and gazed out at the dark night sky.

How could he explain it in a way his father would understand while still being a dedicated son? In a way that didn’t require him spilling the beans about them sleeping together, or that it was her compassion and fiery nature that had made him desperate to taste her for years?

He knew it was selfish, to ask her to set aside her dreams, just to fulfil his. But they both knew that he couldn’t love her. Not because he was incapable, but because circumstances wouldn’t allow it. If life was different, Hadley would probably make the ideal wife for him; she knew and understood about his work schedule, his needs, his temper. She knew everything about him and every member of his family.

No other girl could compete with that, but it just couldn’t happen.

“Why so understanding of her situation?” Emerson asked, suddenly.

Maxx looked round at his dad and smiled openly. He couldn’t answer that without admitting to everything he knew.

“What happened while I was gone?” he continued.

He laughed aloud and turned back to the window, placing his hands in his pockets as he contemplated what to tell his father. “Well, there’s a question if ever I heard one,” he muttered to himself. There was no way to answer that one either, without spilling secrets that he wouldn’t want to know.

“Maxx, sometimes you really confuse me,” Emerson complained, in a huff.

“Yeah, sometimes I confuse myself,” Maxx admitted.

Just then, the doctor popped his head through the curtain and reminded them that Maxx only had a few minutes before Emerson would need some rest.

Maxx nodded his agreement and let out a sigh. “Listen, Dad,” he began, walking over to the side of the bed, “I’ll let Hadley know you’re okay and we’ll talk when you get home. The doc says you should get home tomorrow, if your blood pressure settles down. It was a mild panic attack, but they want to run some tests, to make sure. So stay calm and everything will be explained,” he promised.

He walked to the door and faltered for a minute, wondering if he could make the situation at home a little more bearable. “Please try to understand about Hadley. I don’t want you getting upset over nothing and taking it out on her when you get back,” he finished, begging him to keep the peace.

It was pretty clear that she wasn’t going anywhere, anymore. She’d never have agreed to his ‘fling’ otherwise. She could have just told him to go to hell, because she was leaving and didn’t need to cater to his whims. But she didn’t, and he knew why. Hadley loved him, the way she deserved to be loved in return.

“Maxx, I’ll say what needs saying, as will our Hadley. Please don’t try to stop me,” Emerson asked, with a harshness that said this argument was far from over.

Maxx could do nothing but shrug and agree. They were as stubborn as each other sometimes. Then again, Hadley was damned beautiful when she was being stubborn. “If the doc phones to say you’re coming home, I’ll be back in the morning. But if you’re getting kept in, I’ll bring Hadley up to see you in the afternoon,” he offered, before leaving.

It was safer to leave now, before his temper flared and he said something he might regret.

After Maxx left for the hospital, Hadley made herself a coffee and grabbed a few biscuits from the cupboard. She’d wait to discuss it with Maxx, before deciding whether to wake Micah or wait until morning to break the news.

She retreated to the library, to sit by the cold fire in her favourite chair. With her coffee, a magazine, and a few biscuits, she passed nearly half an hour in a comfortable silence. If it had been any other day, and Emerson wasn’t in hospital, she’d have loved the time alone to reflect and relax.

Then a creak from the hallway caught her attention.

“Micah?” she called quietly.

The door pushed open and Micah walked in, looking as exhausted as Maxx had before he left. He trudged in and sank onto the sofa, to curl up at one end. It took another minute for Rowan to head in, in the exact same way, to take up the other end of the sofa.

“The phone woke you?” she asked, wondering what took them so long to appear.

“Yeah,” Micah said, only to yawn and blink a few times, sleepily. “I thought someone might come get me, if it was important, but then I figured I’d just come check,” he explained.

Hadley nodded and put her magazine aside. “Do you boys want a drink?” she wondered, before she tried to explain.

Both boys shook their heads, before Micah spoke up. “Nah, we’ll just be going back to bed,” he admitted, waving the offer aside.

That was a relief. She didn’t want them waiting up for Maxx. He’d sent a text to let her know he’d arrived at the hospital, and another after speaking with the doctor. It was kind of sweet the way he kept her informed, so as not to panic her. And more than a little surprising that he’d kept her mobile number; it was the same one she’d had since she was a teenager, back when they’d actually been friendly.

“Barnabas called, because your father had a mild panic attack and ended up in hospital,” Hadley began with the facts, admitting to the panic attack first so that he didn’t freak out. “He’s fine, but they’re going to keep him overnight, to make sure it doesn’t happen again,” she explained.

Micah nodded and gazed into the fire, though it wasn’t lit.

Rowan sat up a little straighter and looked around. “Where’s Maxx?” he asked.

“At the hospital. He had to sign some papers and give them Emerson’s medical background,” she continued, glad he’d asked. It was best that she supply the information only when they were ready to hear it. “He’s been texting me, to keep me informed. We thought the phone call might have woken you, which is why I stayed.”

Again, all Micah did was nod his understanding.

He was taking the news rather well, but Hadley wasn’t sure if that was because he was too exhausted to make sense of it, or if it hadn’t sunk in yet. Rowan, being the sweet and loyal friend he was, just stayed quiet, offering emotional support.

Hadley sat with them for another twenty minutes, letting them absorb the information and process what had happened.

Emerson was all the boys had left, and all Hadley had, too. Eloise had wanted a big family, with lots of children and grandchildren, but she’d had two miscarriages, between Maxx and Micah’s successful pregnancies. After that, she’d stopped trying. Then, when Micah was barely a few years old, she died in a car accident. A rain slicked road on a dark night and she’d left them.

Hadley understood that the state of Emerson’s health wasn’t an easy pill to swallow. But they’d get through it. Together.

After what seemed like an eternity, they heard the taxi pull up outside. Rowan and Micah went ahead to see Maxx, as Hadley stood in the hallway, waiting for him. It was cold and she had nothing on her feet, while both boys had proven hardier than her in dealing with the night chill.

She stood, leaning against the front door for support, watching Maxx exchange small talk with his brother, as Rowan followed them inside. Hadley took a deep breath and smiled, as Rowan and Micah headed for the stairs.

“Night, Hadley!” they called in unison.

“Night!” she called back, suddenly nervous about being left alone with Maxx. “Hey…” She sighed, as he stopped in front of her. “How is he?” she asked, hoping nothing else had happened since his last text.

“He’s fine.” Maxx smiled, brushing a strand of hair from her eyes.

Hadley blushed and looked away, noticing that he was staring at her as though seeing her for the first time.

“It was just a precaution after he collapsed. The doctor says it’s too much stress, which should ease up now that he’s retired,” he explained.

Hadley looked up at him, staring into his eyes, and listened to those words she was longing to hear. But a nagging feeling, in the back of her mind, told her that she hadn’t helped the situation.

“Everything is going to be fine,” he soothed, surprising her by pulling her into his arms.

Leaning her head on his shoulder, she found comfort in his soothing words of reassurance and the steady hand running over her hair. “Come on; you really need to get some sleep.”

“There’s just one thing,” he began unsteadily, as they headed for the stairs together. He flicked off the hallway light, before she had the chance to. “He’s still pissed about you saying you wanted to leave. I didn’t want to be the one to tell him that wasn’t the case anymore. I thought you’d do a better job of it than me. I just asked him to cool off a bit and it would be explained when he got home.”

Hadley went quiet as she walked beside him, thinking things through. Why did Emerson have to be angry with her, just for sticking up for herself? It wasn’t her fault that she felt her only option was to leave and avoid any more disputes with Maxx, or those unfeeling moments that passed between them.

She pushed the thought aside and stalled by Maxx’s bedroom door as he opened it and ventured inside. “Goodnight, Maxx. Get some sleep and I’ll figure out how to deal with your father tomorrow,” she promised.

She turned to head to her room, when a hand caught her wrist.

“Had,” Maxx said, with a weary sigh and sad eyes. “Get in here. It’s late, we’re both knackered, and we need each other tonight. Nothing more and nothing less,” he promised, slipping his fingers down her palm to wind their fingers together.

Hadley couldn’t have disagreed, even if she had an argument. He was right; she needed him and she could tell he needed her, too.

She added her grip to his and let Maxx lead her back into his bedroom. They walked through the darkness to head for the bed. She slipped beneath the covers and curled up, while Maxx changed out of his clothes and back into a pair of joggers and a T-shirt.

When he held her close, she let herself embrace the proximity. Comfort couldn’t come in a better form than the man she loved, willing to hold her, with no expectations. Hadley hid her face in his chest, convinced that she’d made the right decision.

Not all dreams came true, but maybe hers could. Just because it wasn’t the happily ever after she’d wanted, didn’t mean it wasn’t the dream she’d coveted for nearly five years. All she had to do was hold on tight and hope for the best.