Courageous: Afterlife Book Four (15 page)

"Do you remember anything about him from your childhood?" Abhik asked.

"No, I don't."

"Isn't it strange that he chose to erase all memories of him in your life?" Abhik said. "Haven't you thought about that?"

I closed my eyes. I felt so dizzy, like the corridor with all these people and all this information was spinning around me. I thought about that, but I also pushed the thought away.

"Meghan," Rahmiel said.

I opened my eyes and looked up at her.

"Who gave you that mirror?"

I swallowed hard, and then exhaled deeply. "Mick did."

"That's what I thought," she said.

"I think we need to get you away from him," Abhik said. "You need to get as far away from him as possible. Until we find out what is going on, he is not safe for you to be around. I have seen the anger in his eyes, I have faced it and I know you have too. I know that deep down inside you know he isn't good for you and it's time for you to face it. He's pulling you down, Meghan. You're losing your confidence every day that goes by, you're not yourself anymore. You can't even perform your magic, can you? What about speed flying? Do you even go out anymore? You used to be so strong, Meghan. He's pulling you down. You're losing all your strength. Soon you'll be nothing but a puppet."

"He's right, Meghan," Rahmiel took over. "If you're not at peace within yourself, you'll lose all your powers. If you have strife inside of you you'll lose your balance and you won't be able to make things appear or fly with the speed of light like you used to. It's draining you slowly. You need to pursue peace in your life. You need to press through your fear and not let it stop you from being who you really are. You need to fight your way out of this darkness like you fought your way out of the black hole. We don't know what is going on with Mick, but a spirit practicing dark magic might be heading towards something really bad."

"Let us take you someplace safe," Abhik said and grabbed my arm.

I pulled it out of his hand and backed up, away from all of them. I shook my head slowly. "No. No. Mick is my husband. I'm carrying his child," I said fighting the tears. "I should at least give him a chance to explain himself to me. If he did take my memories, if he did give me that mirror intentionally, then I need to know why. You don't need to take me anywhere or take care of me. I appreciate what you've done for me, what you've told me here today, but you don't need to do anymore. I'll take it from here."

"But ..." Abhik moved toward me, but Rahmiel held him back.

"Let her do what she needs to," she said.

I turned my back at them and stormed through the corridors towards the tower, while the tears rolled fast down my cheeks.

C
HAPTER 28

M
ICK HADN'T COME
back to the tower when I arrived, so after waiting in anger and frustration I decided I no longer cared what everybody else thought of me and flew towards the kitchen. I couldn't wait any longer, I needed this settled now.

Hornam Hall was packed with people eating dinner that Mick had prepared for them. They were laughing and chatting cheerfully. I realized I missed coming there and being with other human spirits and it added more frustration to my mind as I entered the kitchen. Mick was sitting in the windowsill finishing his dinner just before he would walk out in the hall and receive the daily applause for the splendid food. This was his favorite time of the day, I knew that and I also knew I was about to ruin it.

"Mick?" I said and floated closer.

He looked at me, surprised, startled even. "Meghan? What are you doing here? Why have you left the tower?" He floated towards me. "It's not good for you to be here."

I scoffed. "I bet you'd rather have me locked away in the tower for the rest of eternity, huh?"

Mick stopped. He threw his hands in the air. "Whoa. What's going on here? Are you mad about something?"

I closed my eyes and embraced myself. To restrain myself was going to take all of my strength, but I couldn't let my anger get the best of me. I needed to keep calm. "We need to talk."

"About what?" said Mick. "I was just about to walk into the Hall. Can't it wait till later? I think it can. We'll talk when I get back."

I looked at him defiantly. "No Mick. We will talk now."

Mick froze. His eyes told me he knew something bad was coming. "Okay," he said and threw both arms in the air resignedly. "If you insist on completely ruining this evening for me, then by all means let's talk."

"Did you take those pages in my file, the book of my life?"

Mick froze completely. Then he shook his head fast while his eyes avoided mine. "Of course I didn't. Where do you get those ideas from? Is it that Abhik again? I told you to stay away from him. He puts all these thoughts in you and then I have to get rid of them afterwards. I tell you, I can't wait till we get out of here and we don't have to see him again. I don't even understand why he is still here. I'll have to have a talk with Salathiel and tell him that he is bad news, that he is constantly trying to destroy our lives, that he ..."

"Stop!" I said. "Stop it right now, Mick. Abhik is not the issue here. You are. You and all your lies. Tell me again, did you or did you not remove those pages from my book?"

Mick's eyes became big and wide. There was a battle going on inside of his mind, I could tell. I just hoped that the right guy would win, the one who chose to be honest with me.

Mick didn't say anything; he just kept staring at me. He didn't need to speak; I knew it just from his look.

"You did it," I said my voice shaking in anger and on the verge of breaking. I couldn't believe it; I didn't want to believe it. "Why, Mick?" I asked with thick voice. "Why would you do such a thing to me?"

He was biting his lip. "I was afraid," he said. "I was afraid of how you'd react once you realized that I had known you since you were a child. I was afraid of how you'd react." He gestured resignedly. "There you have it. I was scared, okay? So I removed the pages, all memory you had of me and you."

I shook my head slowly. "I don't believe you," I said. "There is more to the story. There is more you're not telling me, isn't there?"

Mick reached out to grab me, but I pulled away. "No. I promise you it's the truth," he said.

"Why did she say I came unexpectedly?"

Mick shook his head in confusion. "What? Why did who say what? I don't understand."

"When I died," I said through gritted teeth. "Mrs. Higgins was there. She told me I had come a little 'unexpectedly.' "

Mick lifted his eyebrows. "How am I supposed to know that? You're not making any sense here, Meghan. I think you might need to rest a little ..."

"No, I have never been clearer in my head," I said. "I wasn't supposed to die, was I? It wasn't in my book; it wasn't part of my destiny."

Mick moved his hands nervously. "What do you mean? I was sent to get you, you know that. Meghan let's forget about it all and just go back ..." Mick reached out and tried to grab my hand, but I lifted my arm to stop him. I looked him directly in the eyes.

"You killed me."

Startled Mick stared at me trying to look surprised. "What are you talking about? I didn't ..."

"It all makes sense," I continued. "How come I didn't think of it before? It all adds up. That's why you needed to erase my memory, because I would see that it was you. You brought me there; you brought me to the Colorado Mountains a place I had never been before, where my parents hadn't even been before. A place so far away from my home that it was unnatural for me to be there. But not if I had flown there with you. Yes, you liked to do that, didn't you? You took me places. You took me on trips far away from my home and showed me the world. Now I suddenly remember everything," I said while the flashes of memories suddenly rushed through my mind. Pictures, people, events swirling like a whirlpool through my mind. It felt like a huge wave rushing in over me and I stumbled backwards. "I remember, Mick, I remember!"

"But that's not possible," Mick exclaimed. "I was told it was erased for eternity, gone and could never return!"

The flashes suddenly stopped when I reached almost the end of my life. Then I turned and looked at Mick. "You told me we were going on a trip; you knew how much I loved going on trips with you. I adored you, Mick. I loved being with you. But this time you put me down in the middle of the forest. You left me there. You ... you ..." I gasped. "You hit me so I fell and scraped my knees. That's why Rosey told me I was bleeding. That's how she ended up with my blood and DNA on her, which ultimately convicted her. That's why there was blood on the ground in my dreams. How did you know she was there, Mick?"

"I didn't. I tried to kill you myself, but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough. I left you there hoping you would die out there on your own with no food or shelter in the mountains. But then you found the cabin and I thought all was lost. So I helped Rosey a little. I encouraged her to kill you."

"How Mick? How did you encourage her?"

Mick exhaled. "Well if you must know, then I had someone help me learn how to possess a human, so I took over her body and strangled you. She never felt anything, but saw herself do it without being able to stop it. There you go. I said it."

I stared into his eyes with the feeling of betrayal rushing through my veins and mind. I shook my head slowly. "But why, Mick? I thought you loved me?"

Mick moved towards me. "I do love you, more than you'll ever know. That's why I did it; you'll have to believe me. I did it so we could be together. After I saved your father I couldn't stop thinking about you. I think I loved you from the moment I saw you pray on your knees in the hospital. I was drawn to you. I wanted desperately to see you again. So I kept coming back. For years I came to you when you were only a child, but then suddenly you were all grown up. Suddenly you had become this beautiful grown woman that I adored so dearly. We had spent years seeing each other so seldom it was hurting me so the last year of your life I began to come several times a week, since I couldn't bear to be without you. I loved you as a child, but as a grown woman I desired you in a whole different way. I longed for the moments we could spend together. I was so sick with love and longing for you and to be close to you. I wanted us to be able to be together every day, all the time and never have to part. I knew you'd lose your memory once you got here so I thought I had at least three years to win your love again, but luckily it didn't even take that long. At least I was near you every day now."

"That's crazy, Mick. Can't you hear how crazy that is? You killed me. You deprived me of my life on Earth and caused so much sorrow for my parents, just for what? So that you could be close to me? So we could be together? Is that your idea of love?"

"Yes," he said like it was the most natural thing in the universe. "Yes. That is my idea of eternal love."

I stared at him feeling completely numb. I wasn't angry, I wasn't even sad anymore. I exhaled deeply. "I think we have very different ideas as to what love is," I said.

Mick forced a smile. "Does that matter? As long as we love each other?"

"I don't think I love you anymore, Mick. I don't think I'm capable of loving you any longer."

Mick's eyes flared in desperation. "No, don't say that," he said. He reached out to grab me around my waist. "You're just tired. It has been a long day for you. You need to rest."

I pulled his hands off me and pushed him away. "You don't tell me what to do anymore," I said. Then I grabbed my wedding ring and pulled it off my finger. I handed it to him. "Here take it back. I don't want it anymore."

"But Meghan, my love ..."

"No! Don't ever call me that again," I said loudly. "You have no right to call me that ever again."

"Please, Meghan, don't say that. I ..."

"No, Mick. Stop. Listen to what I'm saying and try to understand for once. This is important. I'm leaving you, Mick."

"No! No!" Mick screamed. Then he stormed towards me and grabbed me and held me in his arms while crying hysterically. "No. Don't do this to me Meghan. You can't do this to me. I love you. I can't live without you. You're everything to me. You're my life." He lifted his head and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away. He was thrown backwards into the air.

When he looked at me again I saw the flames were back in his eyes. A shield of anger enclosed him and he looked like he was on fire. Knowing his temper I backed up slowly towards the door.

"Mick. Don't ... I ...

I barely got to finish the sentence before he stormed towards me and pushed me up against the wall so hard I was torn into beads with a penetrating scream. I watched as my body dissolved and the beads were floating into the air. Some of them returned on their own while I tried to catch my breath desperately hoping that nothing had happened to my baby. Meanwhile other beads kept floating around in the room. Mick picked some of them up and started throwing them against the wall instead of giving them to me. He kicked my parts and threw them in anger causing them to dissolve further. The remains of me tried to regenerate, but all my strength had been knocked out of me and suddenly Mick was standing in front of my face or what was left of it. I screamed in pain as he lifted his foot and kicked me in my face causing it to split into two halves. Mick hissed and yelled, and lifted his foot again in order to kick me when suddenly he was attacked and thrown across the room.

"No!" I heard a voice yell and then Mick was pushed again. While some of my parts slowly returned to my body I watched as Mick stormed back towards the person who had pushed him and attacked him. Now they were floating in the air while hitting each other, punching and beating each other's bodies. Soon my arm was restored and I managed to reach out for the other half of my face and as soon as it was back on I could see properly what was going on. The two of them were fighting and turning in the air and as they came around I could see who had entered the kitchen at just the right time. I let out a small gasp when I saw his face.