Dat
took a step closer, hands on his hips as his amiable demeanor vanished. “Now, son, I know I’m not as smart as I used to be. But I’m sharp enough to know when a
gut
thing is in front of my face. And Emily Ebersol is a
gut
thing.”
Elam took a step back, thoroughly chastised. “I—”
“‘Purple is as purple does,’”
Dat
quoted.
Elam sighed. “I don’t even know what that means.” More now than ever, he wanted to escape to the house and forget today ever happened.
His
dat
grinned. “I don’t either. But I think it means that you should be true to yourself. Be the person you are and the one that you want to be. Once you do that, it’ll come to you.”
“What will come?”
Dat
held his hands out, palms up. “Whatever it is that you want.”
Could it be that simple?
His
dat
watched him closely, then shook his head and started back to the house. “Let me know when you come to your senses.”
“Pass the potatoes,” Miriam requested.
The evening milking had been completed, and the product stored. Still Elam was no closer to an answer than he had been earlier.
“Elam.
Elam
.”
“
Jah?
” He shook himself around. “Did you say something?” He looked to each of his sisters.
“I asked for the potatoes.” Miriam nodded toward the bowl that sat in front of him.
He passed it to her as
Mamm
spoke. “You’re not eating much tonight.”
“Elam’s in love.” His
dat
turned twinkling eyes on him. “
Jah,
Elam?”
“We all know that,” Johanna said. She was wise beyond her years. Or were his feelings that transparent?
“Did you know that Emily loves him, too?”
Dat
asked.
“
Dat,
” Elam dropped his voice, hoping it would serve as a warning. He wasn’t accustomed to chastising his
vatter,
but he would if given no other choice.
Ruthie made a face. “Of course.”
“What about what she told him today, and he said . . . what is it the
Englisch
say? ‘Too bad so sad’?”
A chorus of “whats?” flew around the table.
“Why would you do that?”
“I hope she stomped on your foot.”
“That’s terrible.”
Along with a few other phrases he couldn’t make out.
“Elam,”
Mamm
said. “Why would you do something like that?”
“
Danki, Dat,
” Elam said, shooting his father a wilting look.
His
vatter
sat back, seemingly satisfied with the trouble he had caused.
“She loves Luke Lambright,” Elam explained. “You all know that as well as I do.”
“But Luke is gone,” Becky said. “Jonah told Aaron and he told Billy and—”
“It is a sin to gossip, Becky Ann,”
Mamm
said with a stern look.
Becky wilted.
“Just because he’s left Wells Landing doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him any longer,” Elam said. He had to put a stop to this and quickly.
“I think you should go after her.” Norma licked the applesauce off her spoon. Then pointed it at him. “She’s
gut
for you.”
Elam tried not to laugh. The situation was far from humorous, but tiny Norma’s serious expression was his undoing.
“What’s so funny?” Johanna took another bite of her applesauce and stared at him as if he’d taken leave of his senses.
Elam cleared his throat. “I think this conversation has gone on long enough.”
“My thoughts exactly.” Ruthie jumped up from the table and raced to the door to get his hat and coat. “You should get over there immediately and get this straightened out.” She thrust the items toward him. “Now would be
gut, jah?
”
He closed his eyes and said a quick prayer for patience. Had his entire family lost their minds? “I am not going over there this time a’night.”
“Why not?”
Dat
asked.
Another chorus of similar sentiments went up around the table, but Elam had had enough. “I’ll be in the barn if anyone needs me.” He stood and started for the door. But he stopped before he got there, turning around and pinning each of his family members with a stern stare. “For something important.”
But no one in the household was willing to let things go.
Couldn’t they see it was hard enough for him to put one foot in front of the other each day without their silly notions that he and Emily belonged together?
Yet they were relentless, taking every opportunity to slip Emily’s name into the conversation. Or mention the color purple. Or any number of references to make him recall the sweet time when he thought things might be different for him and Emily.
Thankfully the church-going Sunday brought some relief. At least no one talked to him about Emily during the three-hour service. Even better, she sat behind him so he didn’t have to keep his gaze off the back of her head.
Pathetic. He was simply pathetic where she was concerned. But time was a healer. Maybe in a year or two he would be able to hear her name and not want to fall at her feet and beg for crumbs.
After the final prayer, the women prepared the tables and got the food ready to serve. Outside the barn, it began to snow. The sky had been threatening all morning, and the temperature dropped until the white flakes started falling. The children oohed and aahed and begged their parents to let them go outside and play. Yet all Elam could think about was the day in the snow with Emily. Maybe after five years everything, including the weather, wouldn’t bring her to mind.
His father grabbed his plate and shot Elam a pointed look. “I’m going to find Emily.”
Elam sighed. “
Dat,
I thought we had already covered this. The men and the women do not eat together. You can talk to her after the meal.”
His
vatter
raised his chin to that defiant angle Elam was coming to know all too well. “I want to eat with Emily.” He turned on his heel and disappeared into the milling church members before Elam could stop him.
As he saw it, he had two choices. He could follow after his
dat
and risk running into Emily—which was probably
Dat
’s plan from the beginning. Or he could let his father alone to do as he pleased. It wasn’t like Elam could make his father behave.
That was the hardest part of his father’s injury. A two-hundred-pound man-child was hard to control. With another sigh, he filled his own plate and found a quiet corner to eat his
middawk
alone.
“I want to eat with you today.”
Emily whirled around to find James standing directly behind her. She pressed one hand to her beating heart. She had been on edge all day just waiting for the inevitable confrontation with Elam.
She had prayed to avoid it, but she had to prepare for it all the same.
All during the service, she had stared at the back of his head, nearly willing him to turn around and acknowledge she was there. She knew he wouldn’t, but this dancing around each other was about to drive her batty. If she kept this up she’d have to move to a different church district to keep from having to see Elam every other week. And to keep her sanity.
“James, we talked about this. Men and women are supposed to eat separately.”
“You sound like Elam.” He made a face. “I see no reason why we shouldn’t be allowed to eat together. You ate with me once before. Besides”—he lowered his voice for only her to hear—“I want to talk to you about something.” He graced her with one of his innocent smiles. How could she say no?
She had missed him almost as much as she missed Elam. Almost. James and the rest of the Riehls had become so very important to her. It was a shame that she couldn’t stand to go over to help them now that she and Elam were no longer courting. But she couldn’t risk running in to him. It would be easier if he worked in a factory or even at a restaurant or furniture store. But dairy farmers were home all day long.
“Please?” James turned his green eyes to hers, the mischievous light almost drowned out by the sincerity she saw there.
“
Jah,
fine,” she said with a sigh.
“Goodie.”
She and James found a place out of the way and not as visible to most of the district. She settled down on a milking stool while James sat cross-legged in the hay.
“I’ve missed you coming by the house.” James took too large a bite of his peanut butter sandwich.
Emily suppressed a laugh at the face he made.
“Yuck,” he said, swallowing the bite nearly whole. “It’s the creamy kind.”
“What’s wrong with creamy peanut butter?”
“It’s not crunchy.” James wiped off his tongue with his napkin, bringing laughter to Emily’s lips once more. She had been with him less than fifteen minutes and already she had laughed more than she had all week.
“So will you come by again?” His question was so innocent, it somehow seemed anything but.
Emily put the cracker she had been eating back on her plate. “Oh, James. I don’t know if that’s such a
gut
idea.”
“It was a
gut
idea before.”
“
Jah,
well, that was . . . before.”
They sat in silence for a moment. He ate around his sandwich while she pushed the food on her plate in circles.
“He still loves you, you know.”
Emily shook her head. “I hurt him.”
“If he didn’t love you, you wouldn’t have the power to cause him pain.”
Emily dropped her hand into her lap and stared at James. What happened to the childlike man who wanted everything purple? She could still see him lurking in those green eyes of his, but somehow they had taken on an edge of wisdom. Now James was a dangerous combination of a child who wasn’t afraid to speak and a man who knew too much. “You know what I think? I think you use your injury to your favor. That way you always get what you want.”
“Does that mean you’ll come by the house for a visit?” He shot her a sly grin.
“James.”
“What if I promise he won’t be there?”
“How can you promise that?”
He shrugged. “You leave that up to me.”
“I don’t know.”
“Please,” he said. “We all miss you so much.”
Emily’s resolve started to crumble. “Why don’t you come to my house?”
James shook his head as his lower lip protruded into an all-out pout. “That won’t be the same.”
“
Jah,
fine, okay.” She hardly believed she had agreed to that.
“That’s
brechdich
.” He grinned.
She wasn’t sure exactly what was so magnificent about it, but his smile was worth it all.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“I still think this is a bad idea.” Emily hopped down from the buggy and stared at Elam’s house. Why had she agreed to this?
James. Plain and simple. She could deny the man almost nothing. In the short time that she had been coming to his house and helping him, she had fallen in love with him. Almost as deeply as she had his
sohn.
The courage in his eyes, his renewed joy for life, and his love for his family. And the color purple. All that endeared him to her more and more. She’d be lying to say that she wasn’t grateful to be visiting with the Riehls once again. Yet it would be another lie to say she was calm and collected.
“Because you know it’s the right thing to do.” Mary slid out of the opposite side of the buggy and reached for the box of supplies behind the seat. “Even so, you made me come along.”
“I told you why I need you here.” The snow from the day before had barely made it to the ground before melting back away. Emily couldn’t even use the weather as an excuse.
Mary shot her a look. “You told me that you wanted my help. I know that I’m here as an extra buffer in case Elam comes in.”
“James promised he wouldn’t be here,” Emily muttered.
“And you think he’s not telling you the truth?”
Emily recalled the spirited light in the man’s eyes. “I wouldn’t put it past him, no.”
As she spoke, Becky came out onto the porch, a scarf wrapped around her head and ears. “I’ll take your horse,
jah?
” She skipped over to where Emily stood torn between the warmth of the house and the inevitable run-in with Elam. “Unless you want to take her. Elam’s in the barn.”
Mary laughed as Emily handed the reins to Becky and together the sisters made their way to the house.
They knocked once, and a muffled voice instructed them to come inside.
Emily looked to Mary who shrugged. Then she opened the door to the largest amount of purple things she had ever seen.
“Surprise!” James, Johanna, and Joy all stood behind the couch. Smiles stretched across their faces at their own handiwork.
Purple helium balloons hung from the ceiling, their purple ribbons trailing in the air. Purple hearts cut from construction paper decorated each one. There were purple streamers, a purple tablecloth on the table, and purple place mats and plates. Even the plastic cutlery was lavender.
“What is this?” It wasn’t her birthday, or any one of theirs that she knew of. She turned to her sister. Mary shrugged, but her eyes sparkled with delight.
“It’s for you and—”
“Would someone like to tell me what’s going on here?”
Emily whirled about at the sound of Elam’s voice.
His cheeks were pink from the cold, and he was breathing heavily as if he had sprinted into the house all the way from the barn. “Becky told me you slipped and . . .” His gaze fell on each of them in turn.
“That was my idea,
sohn,
” James said. “Forgive me, but I didn’t know any other way to get you inside.”
“Coming and asking me might have worked.” Elam’s mouth twisted into something akin to a frown.
“I had nothing to do with this.” Emily threw her hands into the air in surrender and turned to make her way back outside. She hated harnessing Clover so soon after sending her to the barn, but she couldn’t stay here.
“Now just hold on.” James stepped forward. “We went to a lot of trouble to get this ready for the two of you, and you are both going to stay, have some cake, and talk this out.”
“Talk what out?” Emily and Elam said at the same time. She turned to glare at him to find him already glaring back.
“This.” Joy waved a hand between the two of them.
“It’s gone on long enough,” Johanna said.
She was so much like her
bruder,
Emily couldn’t stifle her laugh.
“Take off your coat, and
kumm
over here.” James waved her toward the table, pulling out a chair for her to sit in. She did as he asked, shedding her coat, her black travel bonnet, and the purple scarf she had been given by this caring, wonderful family.
As she walked across the wooden floor, she noticed it was covered with silk hydrangea petals and what could only be homemade purple confetti.
“Now you.” James motioned for Elam to join her.
She closed her eyes for the merest of moments, praying that he would do as his father asked. Nothing might ever come of this afternoon, but his family had gone to a lot of work to make this possible. The least they could do would be pretend to enjoy it before going their separate ways.
She opened her eyes at the sound of Elam’s steady footsteps drawing closer.
His chair scraped against the floor, and then he was seated across from her.
“On today’s menu,” James started, sounding for all it was worth like a proper
Englisch
waiter, “we have lilac cake.” He took the lid off the domed cake stand to reveal a shockingly purple cake with creamy white frosting.
“It’s okay,” Johanna whispered. “It doesn’t taste like lilacs.” She pulled a face and made even her brother chuckle.
“We are also offering purple hearts and flowers.” Joy opened the container of gelatin painstakingly cut into bite-sized shapes.
“And purple grape juice.” Johanna swung her arm toward the pitcher, missing it by mere inches. “It’s really red grape juice, but it looks purple to me.”
Joy laughed and scooped her out of the chair and placed her feet safely on the floor. “We wanted you to have some time alone to . . . talk about . . . whatever. Perhaps you two will be able to work through this.”
“And when you do, I want a new purple dress for the wedding.” Johanna pointed her finger at each one of them.
“Now, if you’ll excuse us . . .” The three of them put on their coats, and together with Mary and Becky, they tromped outside.
Emily had no idea when Elam’s sister had come back into the house, but she was there all the same.
Once the door closed behind his family, Elam turned to her. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s
allrecht
. I’ll give them time to get down the road, and then I’ll go.” Her voice cracked on the final word. The last time she had talked to him, she humiliated herself, laying her feelings at his feet only to have him reject her.
“You don’t have to do that.” He laid his hand on top of hers where it rested on the table. His touch warmed her straight through. “I mean, they obviously went to a lot of trouble.”
As much as she wanted to soak in his warmth and presence, she slid her hand from under his and stood to serve them cake.
Elam looked at the combination of purples before him. “This has my
dat
written all over it.”
Emily couldn’t stop her smile. “
Jah,
it does for sure.” She poured them both some grape juice and sat back across from him.
She bowed her head to say a prayer before eating, but only words of hope and new chances came to mind.
Lord, if it be Your will . . . please let it be Your will . . .
Emily lifted her head and picked up her fork. She set it down again. “I’m sorry.” She tossed her napkin onto the table and stood. “I cannot do this.”
In an instant, she was on her feet and heading for the door.
“Don’t.”
His one, quietly spoken word stopped her in her tracks.
“Don’t what?” She said the words toward the door, unable to turn and face him. If she did, she would be more apt to break down than hold herself steady. She couldn’t embarrass herself like that again. Pride might be a sin, but she had to hold on to what was left of hers.
“Don’t leave.”
She heard the scrape of his chair and closed her eyes against all the emotions raging inside her. Love, hope, faith.
“Have you ever made a mistake?” he asked, his voice drawing nearer with each step.
“
Jah,
” she whispered, still unable to find the courage to face him. What if he didn’t mean what she thought? She couldn’t take any more heartbreak. She just couldn’t.
“I made one of those.”
“When?” she asked.
“Many times,” he whispered in return.
She turned, her eyes flying open. He was close, so very close she could reach out and lay a hand on his chest over the spot where his heart beat. Did it beat for her? Dare she hope?
“As did I.” She licked her suddenly dry lips. “I thought I was in love with someone, but it turns out I was wrong.”
“
Jah?
” he returned.
“That’s not even the worst part. See, I let the man I truly love walk away.”
“I’m here now.” His words were barely above a whisper.
Oh, how she wanted him to take her into his arms and kiss her. Instead he took a step back and another. His hands shook as he pushed his hair off his forehead.
Had she misunderstood? “I love you.” She sighed the words, unable to say them louder than the sound of butterfly wings.
“I love you, too.”
It was more than she could have hoped for. “You do?”
“Did you think I stopped?”
She shook her head. “But I wasn’t sure if you could ever forgive me for all the foolishness I put you through.”
“Can you forgive me for not being patient?”
“Of course.”
“Does that mean we can have a second chance?”
Emily smiled. “I would like that very much.”
Elam’s eyes drifted closed for a second, as if he was saying a small prayer of thanks. Then he opened them again and smiled. “
Gut,
then. Let’s have some purple cake to celebrate.”
They ate the cake, laughed, and talked, but as much as they had promised second chances, something was amiss.
Emily tried not to show her disappointment. She so badly wanted Elam to take her into his arms and seal their new promises with a kiss. But he remained distant, jovial, and caring, but apart from her just the same.
And she couldn’t help but wonder where it would really go from there.
“I don’t know, Mary,” Emily said that night as she lay beside her sister. “Something is wrong.”
“How so?”
“I thought he would have kissed me, you know. I wanted him to.”
“And he didn’t?” Mary turned on her side. “Not even once?”
“
Nay
.” Emily hated admitting that. It just brought home all the mistakes she had made and all the times she had hurt Elam, not even realizing she held that power.
“Has he kissed you before?” Mary asked.
Emily’s cheeks flushed with heat at the memory of the kiss she and Elam had shared in the front yard at Caroline Fitch’s house. “Oh,
jah
.”
“Then perhaps you should ask him.”
Emily sucked in a sharp breath. “I could never do that.”
In the darkness, Mary smiled. “You will if you want that kiss.”
Mary’s words stayed with her all during the night and into the next morning. For once Emily was glad that her job at milking time forced her to be alone. She needed time to think things through. Maybe she was being fearful for nothing. After all, Elam had said he loved her.
She recalled the look on his face as he said the words. She was certain he meant them. Yet maybe he needed a bit more time before he could fully get over the trials of their relationship.
She looked down at the purple cast. The doctor said her arm was healing nicely. A couple more weeks and she could have the cumbersome thing removed. It was a constant reminder of the foolish mistakes she had made.
Mary poked her head into the milking room. “We are done,
jah?
”
She gave the aluminum vat one last swipe. “
Jah
.”
“
Gut
. Come on,” Mary challenged. “I’ll race you to the house.”
How many times had her sister called those words to her over the years? More than she could count.
“You’re on,” she said and sprinted for the door.
Mary was on her heels as she rounded the barn and passed their other sisters. Susannah took off after them, while Rose and Bea shook their heads and continued to walk.
Her sisters’ footsteps pounded the hard ground behind her. Emily turned up the speed. She ducked her head as she ran, then looked toward the porch. Elam sat in the rocker as if waiting. Her footsteps faltered, and she stumbled to a halt. Mary and Susannah laughed and continued toward the porch.
Elam stood as Mary and Susannah raced up the steps. Mary saw him first, grinding to a surprised halt. Susannah laughed as she rang the bell, the clear winner of the race. Then she saw Elam and stopped.
What was he doing here?
Emily couldn’t read his face. Somehow she made her feet move toward the porch. Despite her sprint, the brisk January wind cut right through.
“Let’s go into the house.” Mary cast a pointed glance toward Susannah.