Courting Katarina (19 page)

Or was it something else altogether? Did she really want to sell her company? What if she didn’t want to move?
God, I don’t know what to do. Please help me come to the right decision
.

“Since you’re not going to help me make this decision, I guess I’ll go for a walk.”

“Sounds like a good idea. In case you were thinking of going by Emily’s, they won’t be home tonight.”

She turned to him and put her hands on her hips. “I’m not going to Emily’s, for your information.”

Alex shrugged innocently. “Just thought maybe…”

He infuriated her. “Don’t worry yourself about this anymore. I’ll make my
own
decision. I won’t bother you again.” She spun around and headed for the door.

“Katarina.” Alex closed the distance between them and turned her to face him. With a hand on each of her shoulders, he looked her in the eye. “I know what you’re going through. It’s something you can’t let anyone else decide for you. You brought Kat’s Kreations this far, and you’re perfectly capable of taking it to whatever heights you want it to go.”

Chapter Eighteen

K
atarina rolled over in her bed and hugged the extra pillow to her body. It was only six, still a bit early to get up. For two days now she’d looked forward to spending the entire day with Alex. He’d insisted some fresh air and sunshine would be good for her. A quick glance outside put an immediate end to the sunshine part. The morning sky had an eerie gloom to it. Just her luck, after a record-setting dry summer, that Mother Nature had picked today to send the much-needed rain. She snuggled down and closed her eyes again.

She had spent the majority of the past two weeks in bed tormented by her growing feelings for Alex. He had taken two days off work while she was at her worst, and had been home promptly at six every night since then. Between Emily and Sylvia, the two made sure Katarina got plenty of rest. Even without
their strict ministration, she had no strength to push herself.

Alex had prepared several meals and placed them in the freezer for her. He’d cleaned the house and made sure she had clean laundry. Each day he brought her a fresh glass of juice before leaving for work, and insisted she get outside to enjoy a few minutes of fresh air with him in the evening. Never before had she felt so cherished…in every sense of the word.

The weekend before, her insurance settlement had arrived. Knowing how anxious she was to have her own transportation again, Alex had taken notes on what she was looking for, then went scouting for a new vehicle. After looking at all the options, she’d purchased a minivan with plenty of cargo room. He’d suggested they take it out for a trial run today.

After much thought, Katarina had decided to counter the offer made by the toy company. If it hadn’t been for Alex refusing to give her advice, she’d probably have taken the offer at face value, take it or leave it. The confidence he’d instilled in her in the past few weeks was a gift she could never forget. She didn’t expect to hear from Unique Designs now until Monday.

She looked at the clock again, and decided seven was as long as she could stay in bed. For the first day in two weeks she felt energetic. After her shower, she pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater,
then went into the kitchen. There was no coffee in the pot.

The house was still. Surely Alex was awake. She looked up to the loft. His door was open, as it had been day and night since her illness. “Alex?” she called weakly. A burning sensation settled at the bottom of her stomach as she remembered the first morning after her father had walked out on her family.

She walked to the foot of the stairs. “Alex, are you here?”
He has no obligations to me. Still, he was the one who invited me to go to the mountains with him today
. She recalled their conversation about her father. Had that scared him away?
Don’t be ridiculous, Katarina
.

“This just isn’t like him,” she whispered. She forced herself up the stairs to tease him for over-sleeping. She hesitated just shy of the opening. “Alex?”

She peeked into the master bedroom. The covers had been tossed over the pillows. The room was otherwise neat and tidy, and pretty much empty.

She went back down the stairs, through the mudroom and into the garage. His truck was gone. His boots weren’t on the garage step where he left them each night after work. All of his work clothes…gone.

He was gone.

“He can’t…walk…out,” she said, gulping back
tears. “There’s nothing to walk out on. We aren’t dating. We’re nothing more than friends.”

She heard the phone ring. Her feet were planted in fear. Finally Katarina moved toward the phone, but not before the answering machine clicked on.

“Katarina, it’s Alex. I didn’t want you to find a note. I’m sorry about today. There’s a fire just west of Adam’s ranch on forest service land. Adam needed help. The other crews are jumping into big fires.”

She heaved a sigh of relief and picked up the phone, though the machine continued to record. “When did they call? I didn’t hear the phone.”

“A little before three. I’m relieved I caught it before it woke you. I can’t talk long, but I wanted to tell you myself.” Katarina could hear the remorse in his voice. The static from his phone was cutting out. “I didn’t know whether to wake you or leave a note…. It’s strange, Kat. I don’t know what the situation calls for. We’re just friends.”

“I know.”

He lowered his voice. “It feels like more than friendship. I want it to be more.”

“I know, Alex.”

“I know it’s only been a few weeks. We don’t even know how long either of us will be in Springville.”

Tears stung her eyes. She hadn’t told Alex that one stipulation of the offer was that she relocate.
“Does this mean you’re going back to Montana soon?”

The silence was so long she thought they’d lost the connection. “I’ve tried not to notice how bad the fires are, but they need an experienced crew leader out here. Kevin insisted I go.”

I need you, too
.

“I’ll be back in town as soon as we get this fire out. That should be by the end of the day. Then I’ll need to pick up my clean clothes before I head out.”

She looked out the window and realized the haze wasn’t from clouds or the hope of rain, but smoke from the fire Alex was fighting. He was forty miles away. She could only imagine what Alex was dealing with now. “I’ll see you when you get here, then.”

“And Katarina, stay inside today. This smoke will irritate your lungs.” He paused. “G’bye.”

She let out a deep sigh. “I will, Alex. Bye.” The machine clicked off when she hung up.

All day long his voice stayed with her alternately warming her heart and sending a chill of warning to keep up her protective shield—just in case.

Exactly what did Alex want? What did she want? All her life she’d dreamed of a knight in shining armor whisking her away from her problems and insecurities. Was Alex that man?

Disappointment consumed her. She thought back to Alex’s comment about Ron being content with the distance between them. Suddenly she understood.
It didn’t bother her that Ron wasn’t around, yet she’d come to look forward to the end of the day when Alex came home from work.

Though she tried to recall how she’d felt when she and Ron were in the same town, she couldn’t pull up any memories of feeling like this. Was Alex right? Did he look forward to coming home each night? Did he miss her the way she did him?

She wanted Alex here with her today.
Every
day, she realized. What if he decided not to come back after the fire season ended? That could be almost two more months. Was it too late to change her counteroffer?

Alex felt terrible that he’d had to run out on Katarina. She sounded as if she understood, but then again, this was a woman who had spent her life covering her pain with humor. And convincingly so.

They had to get this fire out right away. He had to see her. Had to convince her that he would come back. That he would always come back.
Don’t let Katarina run from me, Father. Let me have a chance to tell her just how much I love her
. He bellowed orders to the volunteers who were doing their best to scratch a fire line around the blaze. It was inaccessible to the local fire department. And not serious enough yet to warrant forest service action.

Adam gave him a look of reprimand for the harsh tone. “What has you so irritated?”

“This wasn’t exactly how I planned to spend the day.”

His younger brother gave Alex a look of probing query. “I promised to bring Katarina to the mountains today.”

“You’re getting mighty attached to her, aren’t you? Seems a little self-destructive, since she’s seeing someone else. Isn’t it?”

Alex swung his Pulaski and tugged the grass and roots loose. The last thing he needed was a reminder of the futility of the situation. Especially after today. Walking out on her was probably the worst thing he could have done. He should have stayed, explained to her in person. Told her before he left all that he planned to tell her this afternoon—that he wanted to marry her. That he wanted to spend each and every day extinguishing the embers of fear that smoldered in her mind. That he wanted to be the man she could depend on, consulted with, to show her the world, if that was what she wanted.

He’d wanted to tell her he would never leave her.
I’m going to lose her. She trusted me to be there, and I wasn’t. Just like her dad. Why did this fire have to start today, Father?

To teach you to trust in Me, my son. Hand Me your fears, Alex. You’ve trusted Me to care for you in all of your days. Am I not gracious enough to care for the love of your life, as well?

Alex focused on the fire, ashamed of himself for feeling so selfish.

He heard Adam’s laughter. “Whoa, brother. I think you’re too late.”

“Too late for what?”

“To put out the fire.”

He looked around. They were making progress. Another hour or two, and they’d be on their way home. “What are you talking about?”

“The fire Katarina started.”

Alex laughed. “And you know what? I hope it never goes out.” He went back to work. “Now let’s take care of this little problem here, so I can get home and tell her so.”

Chapter Nineteen

K
atarina opened the door, ready to greet Alex. Before her stood Ron, all six foot of sophistication and arrogance. Her jaw moved, but no sound escaped her mouth.

“Hi, darlin’,” he said, sweeping her into his arms and pressing his lips to hers. “What’s wrong, still not feeling well? I figured you ought to be ready for company by now.”

She eased away. “Ron. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Who were you expecting? That roommate of yours? It’s a good thing I decided to surprise you, then, isn’t it?” His gaze darted around the room, as if looking for Alex.

She’d never heard Ron talk like this. She stepped back. The question caught her off guard, as did Ron’s visit. Alex’s mother had called to say the fire
was out and Alex was on his way. Katarina glanced at her watch.

“What’s gotten into you?” She saw the skepticism in his eyes. “I would have thought you of all people would have a little more trust in me.”
It’s time for me to make a decision, Father. Please let me make the right one
.

Ron’s eyes flashed in a familiar display of impatience. He took her gently into his embrace, and Katarina’s courage waned. “I didn’t say anything about not trusting you. After all, Katarina, we’re both human. Of all people, I can certainly understand that.”

“And what does that mean?” Her misgivings were multiplying by the minute.

“It means I’m willing to forgive whatever’s been going on here. I understand the loneliness.” His voice echoed like a bad dream. He reached into his pocket and Katarina turned away.

“You know I wouldn’t succumb to temptation, Ron. Not with you, or anyone else. I’ve saved myself for my husband. No one is going to change that now.”

“Does this look like a lack of trust?” Ron opened the tiny jewelry box, exposing an ostentatious diamond ring. “I’ve realized what a mistake it is for you to be here alone, especially now that you’ve sold your company.”

“I’ve made a counteroffer.”

“Well, maybe I can sweeten that decision,” Ron
said, his words thin and hollow. “We may as well get married. I had the lawyer draw up a prenuptial agreement according to the offer, so there’s nothing more to hold us back.”

Katarina gulped. He wasn’t even listening to her.

“I don’t think this move has been good for you.”

Shallow words from a shallow man. This has nothing to do with my company. How could I have been so blind, God?

“The counteroffer changes quite a few things, Ron. Even if I sell them some of my designs, I’ll still continue the production of Kat’s Kreations. I won’t give them full rights to my own name. This is my company. It means more to me than money.”

He stared at her in disbelief from under his craggy eyebrows. “I thought that was the point of selling, so you could stop all that drudgery and devote your time to us.”

“That’s obviously what you want,” she challenged. “Did you ever think about what I want? I’m good at this, Ron—even if making dolls isn’t the status you want.”

As if he finally realized she wasn’t backing down, his mission swayed. “I suppose you could still sell your little dolls if you simply can’t part with the business. It isn’t a bad sideline.”

Katarina took a staggering breath and counted to ten.
Little dolls? A sideline?

Behind her the front door opened and Alex stepped inside, carrying his red pack and yellow
shirt. He pulled the sunglasses from his sunburned face and stopped suddenly, as if he were in the wrong house.

His green pants and T-shirt were smudged with soot, and the shadow of a beard completed the impressive image. Her eyes froze on his long, lean form. She felt a smile snuffing out the anger she was feeling toward Ron.

“Hi, Alex.”

“Afternoon,” he said hesitantly, his gaze darting from Ron to Katarina and back. He dropped his boots on the tiled floor in the foyer and edged his way to the stairs. “I see you have company. I’m sorry to interrupt. I’m just here for a short stopover.”