Courting Miss Hattie (30 page)

Reed hesitated for a moment,
then
gave an almost imperceptible nod. Drayton was right. It was none of his business. Without another word, he walked away.

He could hear the men's continued conversation as he strode toward the woods, but it was over the roaring of his blood. He was more angry than he'd been in years, and helpless to do anything about it. When he was out of sight of the dancers and the crowd, he stopped in front of a scrub oak. With all the force of his right hand, he slugged the
ungiving
tree trunk, splintering the bark and sending a scream of agony through his arm. He shook his hand twice, throwing off the tiny bits of wood that clung to it. Gazing down at his bleeding knuckles, he tried wriggling his fingers. Nothing was broken, he thought in gratitude, and leaned against the tree, absorbing the pain that still encompassed him. It was better to hurt for a reason than to hurt for something that couldn't be helped.

He stood staring into the darkness, trying without success not to think at all. He belonged to another woman, and Hattie belonged to another man. He asked himself how he could let her marry someone who would never understand her tender feelings. A man who could use that awful nickname as if it were a joke, who could publicly state that he would get children off her by covering her face with a bag, who would never in a million years deserve the love that Hattie Colfax was capable of giving.

There was nothing that he could do, though. Breaking them up would not be impossible, but it wouldn't solve anything, either. She wanted a husband and children, and she should have those things. He couldn't offer them to her. He'd made his commitment to Bessie Jane, and there was no going back.

At least, he thought, he wouldn't have to be there to watch it. The realization gave him pause. He should have been thinking about his future, his
land, that
had been so abruptly stolen from him. He'd not given it more than a passing thought. His concerns were for Hattie. He shook his head in disbelief. All those years of dreaming and working to own Colfax Farm, and now losing all chance of ever having it had slipped his mind.

The meaning of that didn't bear close scrutiny, so holding his injured
hand,
he headed back toward the festivities. He had to find Bessie Jane. She was his. Losing Colfax Farm would affect her as much as him. But even if it didn't, when a man was troubled, he sought the comfort of his woman.

Deliberately pushing thoughts of Hattie and
Ancil
out of his mind, he scanned the crowd for Bessie Jane. He saw her before she saw him. She was standing on the edge of the woods alone and kept looking behind her as if expecting someone to step out of the trees.

She'd been looking for him, Reed thought as he hurried his step. Pretty, sweet Bessie Jane. No man could want more, he admonished himself. This keeping her at arm's length was hurting their relationship. It was time they let nature take its course.

She was staring back into the woods to her left when he laid his hand on her right shoulder. She jumped.

"I didn't mean to startle you," he said, surprised at her frightened expression.

"I thought you were down by the fiddlers," she said unexpectedly.

The statement puzzled him. She'd obviously been watching for him. He put it down to coyness and smiled warmly as he took her arm. "Come with me back to our blanket," he said. "I've got something we need to talk about."

She glanced guiltily at the woods again,
then
whispered, "We can't just walk off together in the dark, Reed. Someone will see."

Ignoring her protest, he led her away. "Everybody in this county knows we're engaged. No one would say a word about us catching a minute or two alone." He gestured toward the crowd. "Nobody's watching us anyway."

Without another word, the couple made their way up the hill to a small piece of ground under a maple that was covered by the new pink and white picnic cloth Mrs. Turpin had made to match Bessie Jane's dress.

The sound of distant fiddle music floated up the hill. The moon hung low on the distant horizon, the area was shrouded in darkness and privacy. Reed kept his arm around her waist, reminding himself that she was his.

With his assistance, Bessie Jane lowered herself to the cloth. "You wanted to talk?" she asked. Her eyes were wide, and her lips were trembling slightly with a nervousness that sat ill on her usual carefree face.

She was beautiful tonight, Reed thought. Beautiful and vulnerable, and talk was suddenly the furthest thing from his mind. Dropping to his knees in front of her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close for a kiss. "I want you," he whispered. "I don't want to wait another day."

Surprised by his sudden move, she resisted momentarily, but he ignored her hesitance. As he pressed his mouth to hers kissing her urgently, she parted her lips in invitation for his tongue. Usually this resulted in his immediate attempt at self-control, but tonight he didn't hesitate
to
accept her offer, delving instead into the hot sweetness of her mouth. Holding her tight against him, he rubbed his groin suggestively against her.

"Reed? What
…
?"
she asked in a panicked whisper before he pulled her down beside him on the cloth.

"I'm tired of waiting," he said hoarsely, his mouth against the tender skin of her throat. "I need a woman. I need a woman tonight. Are you mine, Bessie Jane?"

His hands were everywhere, exploring her breasts, caressing her backside, stealing up underneath her dress. "I won't wait anymore," he whispered. "You've been right all along. We need each other. We need this release."

His movements were mechanical and desperate. "I deserve this," he said through clenched teeth. "It's my right." He brought his knee up between hers, and she eased her legs apart for him. Allowing his fingers to wander the length of silk-covered leg and thigh for only a moment, he brought his hand up to clutch her womanhood.

Her involuntary gasp seemed more shock than desire. There was no trembling flesh or dampness to welcome him. After an instant of hesitation, she arched against his hand. Reed stilled. He knew her reaction was more duty than passion. His touch had not sparked her to flame. Biddable and loyal, she would allow him his way, satisfy his need, and give him her body as his due. He groaned in frustration, remembering her tears at their former mating. He could not accept such a gift.

Removing his hand, he lay down between her legs, his head resting against her breast.

The silence between them stretched on for several minutes. Bessie Jane tentatively stroked the thick black hair that lay against her bosom. "Have I done something?" Her voice trembled with fear. "People see things they don't understand and can misinterpret them."

As his breathing slowed, Reed raised his head to look into her eyes, glassy with unshed tears. "It's nothing you've done, Bessie Jane," he assured her. "It's me. I
…"

Pulling himself off her, he lay at her side and absently helped her straighten her skirts. His feelings were muddled. Desire, disappointment, anger, fear, and incompetence all warred for dominance in his thought. "I injured my hand," he said, holding it up for her inspection. "I guess the pain distracts me."

Whether Bessie Jane believed this strange explanation of his behavior he didn't know, but she accepted it with a nod.

"I heard some bad news tonight, sweetheart," he went on. "And I think it's best that you hear it from me."

She raised herself up on one elbow, her face pale in the moon's faint glow. "What have they told you? Is it about Harmon?"

"Harmon?" He looked at her quizzically. "What's happened to Harmon?"

Realizing her mistake immediately, Bessie Jane sat up, smoothing her skirts unnecessarily. "Oh, I haven't heard anything," she said, grasping for an explanation. "I just assumed if it was bad news it would surely be about Harmon
Leege
."

Shaking his head in disapproval, Reed sat beside her, crossing his legs Indian-style. "I know you don't like him, but I've told you several times, he's a friend of mine."

She sighed deeply,
then
nodded, and Reed thought the strange expression on her face might have been relief. "It's not about Harm," he said. "It's about us."

"Oh?"

"I guess you heard about Miss Hattie's engagement to Drayton," he began.

She nodded scornfully. "Everyone heard. I assumed that was the reason to announce it now and avoid the expense of an engagement party."

Taken aback by her observation, Reed wondered momentarily if that had been Drayton's motivation. Grimacing with disgust, he continued. "I was just talking with Drayton and your father down by the fiddlers." He paused, trying to find the least hurtful way to tell her. "It seems that Drayton wants to keep the Colfax farm, so it won't be up for sale."

He waited for her reaction, but she continued to look at him expectantly. "And?" she asked finally.

Dumbfounded at her lack of understanding, Reed felt anger begin within him. "And I won't be able to buy the farm. I've worked fifteen years for that land. I wanted it, but now it's gone forever to a no-account
mushbrain
like Drayton."

Bessie Jane sighed in exasperation. "It's too bad that you didn't get the land, Reed. But I never cared about that land." Her tone was blunt with honesty. "I don't even want to farm. That was your dream, Reed. I'm sorry for you, but to me it's nothing."

"Is marriage to me nothing also?" he asked coldly.

She stared at him, the color draining from her face. "This shouldn't affect our marriage," she said, trying to keep her voice steady while an inexplicable trembling seemed determined to set in.

"I can't marry you if I haven't got land, Bessie Jane. It wouldn't be right."

"It wouldn't be right?" she repeated. "We must marry, Reed. We must marry, and it has to be soon. I don't care whether you have land or not. I need a husband. My father would be happy to take you into his business, and then we could live in town. Maybe it's the best thing that could happen to us."

"I'm sorry, Bessie Jane, but it just wouldn't work."

"Are you saying you don't intend to marry me?" she asked, not able to look at him.

"Of course I intend to marry you," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "I just can't do it right now." Giving her a small squeeze of consolation, he tried to reassure her. "I've taken you as my woman and asked you to be my wife, Bessie Jane. A man never goes back on a promise like that." Both staring straight ahead into nothingness, he continued. "It will just take me a little bit more time. My uncle Ed has a piece of rice ground near him that I can probably buy. He's going to help me get
ahold
of it."

Her eyes widened with enthusiasm. "That would be even better, to go somewhere else, to start fresh."

He smiled. "I never thought you'd want to leave town," he said with surprise.

"I do. I hate this town with all its gossip!" she said vehemently.

It crossed Reed's mind to mention that Bessie Jane was the town's major source of gossip, but he kept his peace.

"How soon do you think we can marry and move?" she asked.

He hesitated. "A couple of years, I guess."

"Two years!" she was clearly incredulous. "That's impossible. I can't wait that long."

"The time will fly—" he began, but she wouldn't hear of it.

"We have to get married in the fall," she stated. "You promised that we'd marry in the fall."

"That was when we were getting Miss Hattie's land," he explained. "I'll have to continue to work for Miss Hattie until we get the rice in, at least. I may stay on until she marries. After that, I'll have to get together the financing for the land near
Helena
, and then I'd want to try it by myself at least one season to make sure it's fair enough to support us."

"I can help you work the farm," she said. "It'll be my home, too, and I'll need to be there beside you."

"That's very nice of you to want to help, sweetheart, but you don't know a blame thing about farming, and I won't have time to be catering to you."

"I wouldn't expect you to," she said.

But Reed was adamant. "I'll work at least one season by myself to assure myself that I can make a living on the place."

"Well, then you should get started right now. Between what you've saved and Daddy and your uncle Ed, we'll be able to raise the money to buy the new place, and you'll be there for the harvest. That's what will tell you whether the land is good or not."

"I can't leave Miss Hattie."

"Of course you can," Bessie Jane insisted. "She'd be happy to take your crop in lieu of your not finishing out the year."

Reed jerked up a sprig of grass,
then
cast it down angrily. "I bet Drayton would love it. He's probably praying that I'll do something stupid like that. But I'm not doing it. I've planted Miss Hattie a rice field, and she's going to have it this year, if never again."

"What are you talking about?"

"I promised Miss Hattie a rice field. I'm going to see that she has one."

"You promised to marry me!"

"And I'm going to, Bessie Jane. You just have to have patience. We'll wed in time."