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Authors: Ian Thomas Malone

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The gray Land Rover that belonged to the Thompsons was in the Seers Point parking lot. Nathan wasn’t sure if Mrs. McCarthy’s car was there or not; he did not know what kind of car she drove.

He ordered a sandwich, and sat down with his cousins. Then he opened a book he’d checked out of the library.
Jane Eyre,
a classic by Charlotte
Brontë
. He selected the book on the way out of the library.

Nathan did not enjoy what little of the book he had read. He had grown up under the impression that this was a novel all people should read, but he no longer agreed with that sentiment. He found himself sympathizing with the protagonist too much even if the comparison was a forced manifestation in his head. This sympathy became self-pity, which degenerated into the book being shut and relegated to the bottom of his backpack.

He went for a swim. Summer league swim season was approaching and Nathan wanted to get some light work in before he was expected to contribute to his team. He had not swum much since the season had ended in March. He used that time instead to pursue other athletic interests. Some of these were exercise related which allowed him to remain in decent shape, but none involved being in water.

Swimming allowed Nathan more time to reflect on his weekend, which had been more eventful than most in recent memory. He hadn’t ventured into the city or experimented with a new activity, but he was definitely starting to think about his newfound feeling a bit differently. Mrs. Buchanan had given him an interesting bit to chew on.

Nathan was guilty of impulsive thinking. He was at peace with his break-up with Sarah, but not with the way it had ended. The decision to step away from the relationship, or rather not to fight for it, had been done with much haste. He had been passive until he could do nothing at all. Alcohol and other substances could be blamed, but Nathan shouldered the responsibility for his decision. He alone was responsible.

His dream represented another impulse, albeit one he hadn’t directly brought about himself. No one besides Mrs. Buchanan knew anything about it and even she didn’t really know what the deal had been. What was a case of no harm no foul remained a point of contention that Nathan continued to ponder as he swam.

It should have come as no surprise that Nathan struggled in all his relationships. There were few constant relationships in his life on top of a deceased mother and an absentee father. He tried his best to make up the gaps by diversifying his life and keeping busy. Emotions were not something Nathan could learn in five to ten classes depending on what package he decided to purchase. He had already checked for that.

One of the adult members passed by Nathan as he got out of the pool. “How was the water?” Mr. Martinez asked.

“Eye opening,” Nathan replied. He did not think of Jacqueline McCarthy for the rest of the weekend, including the Memorial Day holiday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 8

 

 

Returning to school after a long weekend did Nathan some good. Time spent in a group setting allowed him to participate in conversations without needing to play a part in their direction. This was what he enjoyed most about taking part in classes.

Most of the student body was checked out mentally. The senior class had disappeared a few weeks prior for internships that served as little more than a nice way to spend the last few weeks of the high school process. Some people tried to talk about grandiose plans for senior year, but this was of little interest to Nathan. Summer was his mind’s only focus.

Few people inquired about Nathan’s relationship with Sarah. She went to a different school, but students of the two educational facilities often interacted in social functions with each other. Sarah’s best friend Melanie went to his school, but she didn’t give him any indication that she knew what had happened. He found this odd, but he decided that he had overestimated the tendencies of humans to inquire about things that did not pertain to themselves.

Nathan and Griffin found themselves sitting at a table in between periods. It was raining outside, or they might have been watching the girls tan on the football field. Griffin had pressed him to get a job for the summer. This seemed like a big waste of time to Nathan.

Real internships wouldn’t matter until college, and Jerome’s generous allowance was more than he needed to enjoy his life. He didn’t tell Sarah what he thought of her internship. Money made on a job she was capable of doing would pale in comparison to the money he got from a guilty parent.

“What are you going to do this summer? I have long hours and your girlfriend is in Europe,” Griffin said. “You’re going to be bored out of your mind,” he added, overselling his point.

“Oh, there’s plenty to do. Swim, read, take some classes.” Nathan smiled as he sparred with his friend’s spotty logic. “Summer is for relaxing. You should try it some time.”

Griffin was not amused at his lack of progress. “You can’t spend the whole summer in the pool or talking in the library with that old woman. You’ll be bored by July. I can get you a job at my store.”

Nathan laughed. “You only want me to work there so you’re not bored. Which is stupid because you’re always working when I visit you anyway. You work thirty hours a week that’s hardly full time, dude. Besides, that store sells mostly women’s clothes. They don’t need another guy.”

“Suit yourself. I’m just trying to look out for a friend who won’t look out for himself.” Griffin managed to come across as at least partially sincere.

“Thank you. Why don’t you study for finals instead of worrying about me?” Nathan suggested, as some of their other friends approached. The subject was changed to the popular HBO series,
Game of Thrones
.

On Thursday, Nathan had a free period at the end of the day, which allowed him to leave early. He made plans for Griffin and Ralph to join him at their club for a swim and a hangout, but neither of them were able to make it.

Griffin left a message saying he had been called into work because another employee hadn’t showed. Griffin often did this as it made him feel important. Ralph sent no message, but this was not surprising.

Ralph was known to be a bit of a flake. On a different day, Nathan might have been ticked off, but he had stumbled upon a chance opportunity that may not have come to him had he been preoccupied with his friends.

Once Nathan had finished his laps, he proceeded to shower off the chlorine. This could serve as a shower for later as well even though there was no shampoo or conditioner. As he walked to the locker room, an unfamiliar feminine voice called out to him.

“Excuse me, you’re Nathan, right?”

“Yes, I am,” he said, in a taken aback tone that in retrospect was not the best way to approach a first encounter.

“Jackie McCarthy. You probably don’t remember me. I don’t live here year round,” she said.

Nathan was wearing a speedo with his towel draped around his shoulders. Thankfully, he did not get an erection like the one he had sprouted during his dream about the woman who currently stood before him. That would have been hard to conceal.

Get yourself together, Nathan
, was the only thought circling in his head. He wasn’t sure if this was fate’s way of bringing Mrs. McCarthy into his life but he would never find out if he couldn’t keep his composure. He thought of Mrs. Buchanan’s advice to let the process play out organically. Putting this into practice was much harder than he’d anticipated. Not that he had any idea what the process was.

“Oh, yes. Hi. How are you?” If he were at a diving meet, this would be scored with a three or maybe a three point five at the highest for delivery. It was hardly a disqualification either.

“I’m good. Thanks for asking,” she replied. She did not show any signs of knowing he’d been dreaming about her a few days prior. This gave Nathan some confidence as he tried to calm his nerves. “I have a favor to ask,” she continued, without waiting for a reply. “Do you babysit? I know most guys don’t really like that kind of thing.”

Nathan babysat his cousins on occasion when his aunt and uncle went to a weekend matinee, but he hadn’t done it for any other parents in a long time. Griffin’s mothers often joked that he was the more responsible of the two, if that counted.

He didn’t answer truthfully. Instead, he said, “Oh, I do it all the time. I can give you a reference if needed.” The reference bit had been a pompous oversell, but Mrs. Buchanan or Victoria or Megan could supply one. Maybe even Aunt Cassidy.

Mrs. McCarthy looked astonished. “Wow, that’s quite impressive. That’s not necessary, though. I got invited to a dinner event in the city and I haven’t had time to get a babysitter since I’ve been back. I have three kids, which I know seems like a lot, but they’re well behaved. You will certainly be well compensated for your help on such short notice.”

Nathan allowed himself a moment to ponder what she meant by well compensated before answering. “That’s no trouble at all. What time would you like me to come by?” Finals started that Monday, but Nathan was not going to miss what he felt could be an act of divine intervention for his love life.

Mrs. McCarthy seemed overly ecstatic with his reply. “Oh, great. I know it’s short notice, but would you be able to come by at four forty-five? I can explain things to you and introduce you to the kids. You really are a life saver,” she said, with a huge smile on her face. She wrote down her address on a napkin and gave it to him. Nathan tried not to look too pleased with the arrangement.

“Okay, I’ll see you then, Mrs. McCarthy.”

“Please call me Jackie,” she replied. “See you soon.” As she left, she gave Nathan a little wave, something he wanted to interpret as flirtatious.

He didn’t move for what felt like an eternity but in reality it was only a few minutes. He struggled to process what had happened. He hadn’t written off his dream as a sign that he missed Sarah. His unfamiliarity with Mrs. McCarthy had made her a likely stand-in for Sarah until now. He didn’t have to get past the first page of Google to know that dreams often included people one had recent interactions with.

Though the odds that he’d come across her at some point in the summer were high, Nathan still felt like it was more than a chance encounter. He found himself in the middle of a strange coincidence that felt like divine intervention. Though he found himself in her employment rather than on a beach with a plate of cheese and dried meat.

What Nathan was feeling could not be considered sensations of attraction just yet. Confusion would certainly be a fitting word once again. Superstition could also be thrown in there. Delusion was another, but not one that he would use. He wasn’t foolish enough not to denounce these feelings as strange, but that didn’t seem important. Not yet at least.

Mr. Martinez walked by again. “Good swim, Nathan?” he asked.

“Wondrous,” he replied, with a mischievous look on his face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 9

 

 

Aunt Cassidy was delighted to hear that Nathan would be out babysitting that night. This was surprising as finals were around the corner, and it was Thursday, but this was enough to draw an, “Oh, isn’t that just wonderful,” from his aunt. This was a popular expression of hers to describe Nathan’s normal activities.

The truth was, she worried about him a lot, and he was well aware of it. Cassidy did not really know Nathan all that well when he moved in, but she was already experienced at the art of trying to make people feel welcome in her home.

What Cassidy wanted was something Nathan couldn’t offer. He knew she wanted a normal life, and she wanted to be a great advice giver in her family.

Nathan’s independence was shown by his frequent offers to cook family dinners, which Martin appreciated, but Cassidy seemed to dislike.

Jerome had chosen to leave his house unoccupied while he was away in London. He didn’t like the idea of people living in his home and sleeping in his bed, so he left it empty while Nathan went to live with the Thompsons. He told Nathan not to have any parties, and so far that had been obeyed. Nathan did not think it was a good idea to let anyone besides Griffin know that he had an open house for the entirety of the year. The house would always be available and there wouldn’t be much of it left if he divulged those details. He and Griffin had been there to smoke pot a few times though.

That’s not to say that Martin was as shallow and flawed as Jerome. Martin took great pride in showing his daughters the ins and outs of softball and loved them very much. He was a simple man who tried his best to make his wife happy. In many ways, Martin was the anchor that held their family together, especially when Cassidy first found out that she was unable to conceive.

The root of the problem was that Aunt Cassidy had trouble accepting that Nathan was an inherently different and independent boy who didn’t need fondling or micromanagement. His grades were decent, he stayed active, and had healthy relationships with his friends. He wasn’t perfect, but he felt no desire to try to reach that rather lofty goal.

“Who are you babysitting?” she asked. She wasn’t much of a gossip, but this was a potentially juicy tidbit of information.

“The McCarthy children. The mother asked me earlier today. I have no idea where the father is,” Nathan replied.

“Oh, he has some business projects in Seattle. He used to play professional baseball, but I wouldn’t bring that up. He was one of the steroid users, and I’ve heard that Mrs. McCarthy doesn’t like to talk about it.”
Heard
was a nice way to say she’d gossiped about them.

“I see,” Nathan said, whose mind had turned elsewhere. In all the time he’d spent thinking about Jackie, he hadn’t really stopped to consider the fact that she was in fact a married woman. The realism of the possibilities had not been something to worry about either until the ball had been put into play earlier that afternoon. With a husband who’s out of the picture, things had become a little more interesting to Nathan. What would divine intervention have to say about that?

Five forty-five seemed like an eternity to wait to gather more recon on his new potential love interest, so Nathan left his house promptly at five-thirty. He wore a button-down that he opted not to tuck in, and khakis with flip flops in an attempt to achieve the “I’m dressed nice but casual” look in a manner that said, “I’m not dressed like this for you, this is how I always look.” All of these scenarios had been scrupulously examined in his head. He felt he’d achieved that to some extent which was further backed by his aunt, who’d said, “You look nice.” She would have mentioned if he’d appeared out of the ordinary.

Nathan rang the doorbell. He had an aura of excitement around him, but he wasn’t as nervous as he was expecting. There were two rules Nathan tried to live by: “Always have an escape plan, and never let them see you bleed.”

Jerome was there when Nathan had first heard the phrase but he had not supplied the wisdom. Q had issued the advice to James Bond
.
He didn’t particularly care for the movie, but the words stayed with him.

A little girl opened the door. “Are you the babysitter?” she asked, forgoing the typical hello.

“I am,” he replied, unsure if he should ask for her name. He felt silly that he was not privy to this information already.

“You’re not a girl,” she said, in a statement that was not reflective of the obvious but of the preconceived stereotype that babysitting is considered the work of a woman. The child was perceptive.

Nathan laughed. “No, I’m not. I hope that’s not a problem,” he added, as the young girl continued to block the doorway. This was not starting off very well.

Jackie could be heard in the distance. “Is that you, Nathan? Come on in.” She walked toward the door. “April, don’t be rude. Let the gentleman come in or he’ll put you to bed early,” she said, with a facial expression that did not give away whether or not she was serious about the
gentleman
comment. Nathan hoped he would not have to be firm with the children. Griffin was the only person he ever yelled at.

Nathan tried not to stare at Mrs. McCarthy for too long, but he let himself be filled with the idea that fate might be responsible for this chance occurrence. Jackie was beautiful. Her brown hair complimented a blue dress with modest high heels and pearl earrings. She wore makeup that highlighted her features in a subtle manner, if that was at all possible. Nathan was no expert when it came to fashion.

He started to realize what it was that made him so attracted to this woman. She was both beautiful and able to show it without overindulging in the aesthetics. She was a truly gorgeous woman who didn’t need to hide behind a palette of makeup or in an expensive designer dress. The minimalism of her charm was irresistible.

“Can I get you something to drink?”

He stepped inside. “I’m good for now. Thanks.” Unable to resist, he added, “You look lovely, Mrs. McCarthy.” He managed to say this without sounding inappropriate or obnoxious as Griffin might have if he were in this position. He practically hit himself for saying something that could be perceived as creepy.

This wasn’t how she seemed to take it though. “Aw, that’s so sweet of you to say, Nathan. But I thought I told you to call me Jackie.”

Nathan hated when adults told him to call them by their first names. He called the Rousseaus by their first names because they grew tired of him referring to both of them as Mrs. Rousseau, but everyone else was addressed properly. He didn’t even know Mrs. Buchanan’s first name.

He didn’t see Jacqueline McCarthy like he saw other adults, so he decided to play along with this. “Right. Sorry, Jackie,” he replied.

She laughed. “No need to be sorry, sweetie. You’re a very courteous young man.” Jackie’s comment should have showed Nathan just how foolish his thoughts were, but any notion of that sailed right over his head.

She introduced him to Tiffany and Randall, her other children. None of them seemed particularly welcoming to Nathan, but he understood this as typical behavior for young children. His younger cousins were often shy around strangers and these kids didn’t live on the East Coast year round. He was a stranger to them in their strange home.

“I shouldn’t be back much later than midnight,” Jackie said, after she had given Nathan a proper tour of the house. He wasn’t sure if he was surprised that their house was roughly the same size as his. It wasn’t a full time residence, but it did belong to a former MLB player. The baseball decorations were sparse save for a few items of memorabilia, none of which made any sort of impression on him besides a simple, “That’s cool.”

“I left money for take out on the table. I don’t think there’re any menus around, but I’m sure you could look it up on your phone or something,” she added.

“That’s okay, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what’s around,” Nathan said.

Jackie looked a little confused for a moment. “Oh, right, I forgot you’ve lived here for a while. I’ll pay you when I get back. I’ll need to go to an ATM anyway.”

Nathan once again showed how little he resembled a normal seventeen-year-old when he said, “Don’t worry about it. Pay me when you can.”

Not really sure how to make small talk with Jacqueline, he asked, “Big plans tonight? Gallivanting off to the city, are we?” He often used his large vocabulary when trying to impress people, though this involved walking a fine line between inquisitive and pretentious.

“Not really, just a charity even hosted by a former teammate of my husband, Steve, when he was on the Brewers. It’s an auction and I’m just supposed to buy something small or give a check,” she replied. This did not carry any of the pomposity that one might expect from such a revelation of one’s plans.

Nathan was impressed and filled with an understanding that whatever feelings he held for this woman would never reach fruition. “Oh, wow, that sounds big and fancy,” he replied.

Nathan saw Jackie blush as she replied, “It’s flashy, but nothing to get excited about. These things are all about charity money. You go, you eat, you give, and you leave. A few of my friends will be there from Steve’s playing days, so it’ll be a nice night.” Her answer showed Nathan that she wasn’t a completely shallow person.

He nodded in agreement, which was about all he could think to do at that moment. There was an awkward silence. Nathan was there to babysit, after all, not to chat. He had nothing to offer on the topic of celebrity charity events.

Jackie said her goodbyes to her children. He found it odd that none of them seemed in the least bit distraught that their mother had left them alone with a complete stranger. Randall had gone to the TV, and Tiffany to her room. Only April remained. She appeared to be examining him like she was trying to come up with something to say.

April’s complacency in just standing there was making Nathan feel uncomfortable. He’d brought his backpack in order to study, but he didn’t feel comfortable doing anything school related with the young girl staring at him. If anything, he expected Randall to be the one who wanted to be entertained.

Seeking to break the silence, Nathan asked, “Is there anything you want to do?” He wasn’t sure what little kids did these days, but it made sense as a babysitter to offer companionship. His cousins sometimes played Wii, but Nathan didn’t see one of those anywhere and he hoped that playing with dolls was not on the table.

She didn’t answer his question. Instead, she asked, “What are we going to do for dinner?” She looked half intrigued, and half irked with Nathan.

He smiled, as she’d asked a question he knew how to answer. His cousin Piper once asked him where babies came from, presumably because his aunt and uncle wouldn’t tell her. It had left him a bit gun-shy when it came to dealing with inquisitive children. “That depends,” he said. “What would you like?” Nathan was not a picky eater, but he did not know if the McCarthy’s were.

“We order out every night, so why don’t you make us something?” she said excitedly. Nathan gathered that she thought she’d presented him with a scenario he couldn’t handle. She was wrong.

Nathan had become interested in cooking over the winter. His uncle often worked late and his aunt was often at his cousins’ ice skating practice, which left him on his own at dinnertime. He often ate at Griffin’s house, but he took up cooking as a way to help out. His aunt hated the idea that she was putting undue stress on her nephew, but he had grown quite good at it.

He frequently attended cooking workshops around the county and sometimes in the city. He had made friends with many of the adults there who found it odd to have a teenager in their midst at first, but took to Nathan’s charm. Most of these classes were on recess for the summer, but he had received a few requests to “do lunch” from some of his classmates. He was not holding out hope that these would grow to fruition.

“All right, let’s see what we have to work with,” he said as he went to examine the refrigerator. April still seemed a bit skeptical of this culinary enthusiast, but she watched with interest.

Nathan had learned in cooking school that it was important to be able to work with your surroundings if you were in a pinch. He tried not to think of what he could make before he saw what was available. Going to the grocery store with three children was out of the question unless he was looking for a heart attack.

The fridge did not offer a great selection. Eggs, bacon, butter, an assortment of jams and condiments, string cheese, milk, a few juices, and the sign of something that appeared to have once been peaches but had gone a little too moldy. This was not the full fridge that his aunt kept.

Without checking the pantry, Nathan knew they had a few options in the breakfast department. “How about pancakes and bacon?” he suggested.

She scoffed. “You can’t have breakfast for dinner.”

“Oh, just wait until you’re older,” Nathan said, thinking of the many times he had gone to IHOP with his friends at two in the morning. He decided not to explain.

Seeing no opportunity to sway the young girl’s mind on the breakfast front, he said, “Okay, let’s check the cupboard.”

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