Cover Up (Cover #2) (10 page)

I turned to face a very
confused Sylvie, and didn’t bother responding to her. Instead, I sauntered to my desk chair, turned it to face the spectacular view of Los Angeles behind my desk.

“Julien
, what’s going on?” Sylvia pushed softly. I knew she could see my upset and her scrutiny caused me to sink deeper into the chair. No amount of alcohol had aided me during the last two days, but it was my only solace.

“
Please, get me another drink,” I murmured. As I had done just a week ago over the phone with my brother, I silently wept. Sylvie stayed by my side, confused, but determined to stay by my side.

Chapter Seven

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

~ Gloria Steinem ~

EMILY

Adam told me everything; at least I hoped it was everything. He told me that he and I had broken up last year due to a misunderstanding. He said that he tried to get me to speak to him, but I had refused. When I asked him what the misunderstanding was, he grimaced uncomfortably. Instead of answering me outright, he asked me to speak to Diana, claiming that she would be best able to answer my questions.

It didn’t make any sense.
What the fuck did Diana have to do with my relationship with Adam?
I wanted to press him for more information, but decided against it since I was grateful that someone was finally telling me the truth. Since the time I awoke, I felt as if everyone was hiding something and now that I was getting pieces of my life back via Adam’s tales, I didn’t want to press my luck.

Apparently
, I had quit my internship at Tajh and was currently interning at Farjo; which I couldn’t really say was a step down, since Farjo was one of the best restaurants in Los Angeles. Any aspiring chef would be lucky to be accepted into their program. Still, it was foreign to me. I couldn’t remember applying there, or what my days were like at work.
Did I get along with my co-workers?
I had no idea, and the more I thought about it, the more frustrating it all became.

When we arrived at my apartment, I sighed in relief that it was still the same. Aside from a few new items, the place was familiar and I desperately needed some sort of familiarity.

Suzie and Diana greeted us at the door and I couldn’t help the tears that welled up in my eyes. My friends had been nothing but supportive through all of this. Sure, I was a little upset that they hadn’t told me about my amnesia; but honestly, were I in their shoes then I wouldn’t have been able to either, especially given the doctors’ orders.

“I’m not dying
, guys. I’m just sick in the brain,” I joked as the girls squeezed me tight. They were my rocks and I knew they would get me through this dilemma. My best friends and ice cream were going to be what kept me sane.
Somewhat sane Em’, broken mind and all.

“Sorry Em,” the girls said in unison. “But, we are just so glad you’re home,” Suzie finished. We headed for the living room and each took a seat. I fell back on the couch and exhaled. I was more than relieved to be out of the hospital
. Although, I had to admit that I would miss that super comfy bed.
I have to find out where they ordered those beds.

My home wasn’t much
, but it was mine; and after being away for almost two weeks, I had grown to appreciate my little one bedroom shack. It was small, but suited me just fine.

“Chinese
, anyone?” Suzie asked, pulling me out of my own head, she made her way to the fridge, pulled the restaurant’s menu, and dialed the number without waiting for our response.

We made small talk until the food arrived and ate in uncomfortable silence. I knew my amnesia was the elephant in the room and that everyone was trying to be
sensitive
to my situation, but all it did was piss me off. I was still the same Emily. Yes, I lost a year; but we were all still friends and I needed them not to treat me like I was some broken
thing
that needed fixing.

“So…is this how it’s going to be from now on?” I asked, breaking the silence and pulling the group out of their individual thoughts. This was wors
e than the actual amnesia. I wanted to be around the people I loved and experience the familiar teasing and banter that came with them. Instead, they acted as if… well, as if…
As if you were gone forever.

I looked up at Adam
, but he seemed a bit uncomfortable as he shifted his gaze from to the girls and then back to me again.

“For goodness sakes, I was in a freaking coma and woke up with amnesia
, but I’m still me. Stop treating me like I’m about to break at any moment. Yes, I fucking hate this amnesia shit, but you know what? FUCK IT! I want my fucking friends to be my fucking friends!” I bellowed.

Suzie cleared her throat before finally speaking, “I’m sorry
, Em. It’s just that we don’t know what to say,” she offered in a shaky, unsure, voice. She tried to smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

The other
s remained quiet and I just couldn’t deal with it. If they didn’t know how to be around me, then maybe it was best if they just left me alone. I didn’t need their pity and sorrowful eyes. I needed their reassuring friendship.

I sighed and shook my head, “Maybe I should be alone for a little while. I’m feeling tired anyway,” I announced
, placed my half-eaten food on the coffee table, and marched out of the living room. I headed straight to my bedroom and slammed the door. I climbed onto my queen sized bed, not recognizing the comforter or sheets, and allowed more tears to fall from my eyes.

I hated what I
felt. I was angry, but I knew it wasn’t really with my friends, yet I had yelled at them. I wanted nothing more than normalcy, but I wasn’t sure what normal was anymore. A year ago, the four of us would have come home and curled up on the couch to watch whatever scary movie Adam decided to put on for the night. We would have drunk an endless supply of beers until the wee-hours of the morning, laughing and having fun with each other. We never just sat in awkward silence.
Had things changed that much in the last year?

The slamming of my front door crushed my spirit completely.
Why is this happening to me?

ADAM

It didn’t feel right to leave Emily alone after dropping such a bomb on her earlier. But I knew she needed time to process. I understood that, but given all she had gone through, it just felt wrong leaving her alone to deal with this. The questions I was sure were swirling in her head about the last year could drive her insane. Fuck, it was driving me insane just thinking about it.

Suzie had driven to Emily’s and Diana had hitched a ride with her
, but since I felt I should probably talk to Diana, I told Suzie I would give Diana a lift home. It wasn’t a big deal. I just thought that, after what happened the other night, we should probably talk – clear the air. I guess I felt that I owed her at least that much.

Suzie raised an eyebrow at me and looked me square in the eyes, “You fucking keep your hands to yourself
, Owens. Or, I swear, I’ll castrate your ass!” she ordered before she revved her engine and peeled off in her vintage Mustang, her tires squealing as she turned the corner and disappeared.

What the fuck does she think I’m going do to her? I’m not a monster!

Diana didn’t seem thrilled with the idea of us being…well, alone. Fortunately for me, she didn’t protest when I gestured for her to follow me to my car. Opening the door for her, I saw her hesitate then try to exude confidence, but fail miserably. She climbed into the passenger seat with worried eyes.
Shit, she’s afraid of me… Great, just fucking great!

I
took a deep breath while rounding the car and released it slowly through my mouth in order to steady my emotions. I needed this conversation to be as mature and painless as possible. Once I felt that I was calm, I opened the driver’s door and jumped in, wasting no time starting the car and heading for her home.

Initially we drove in silence
while I considered how to begin. I didn’t want her to feel afraid of me, but I couldn’t forgive her either. I wracked my brain for a middle ground, but came up empty. This was definitely a tough situation all the way around. It was tough for me. I lost someone I loved and wanted to marry because of a lie. It was tough for Diana because she had allowed her emotions to rule her brain, and she told a horrible lie - a lie that broke Emily and me up. Moreover, she kept it from me throughout our relationship.

Her body was turned away from me
. While she stared out the window at the passing lights, I glanced at her. She had lost weight since our breakup. Her dainty hands folded in her lap were evidence of that. The breakup had definitely changed her. I no longer saw the woman who, while we were dating laughed so hard, in the moment, that she’d pee a little in her pants. Instead, she looked sad each time I saw her. Even when she smiled, her eyes revealed what her soul couldn’t…
Had I done this to her?
I wondered.

Pushing the thought away
, I reached over and grabbed her hand, interlocking our fingers. She jerked slightly at the touch, but didn’t pull her hand away. I remembered when holding her hand was all I needed to feel complete, but now I struggled inwardly to keep my hand there. My thoughts drifted to the night she told me the truth.

“I want to forgive you,” I finally sa
id a little above a whisper, my eyes still focused on the road ahead. She didn’t respond, but instead gave my hand a slight squeeze; the same way she had always done when she wanted to comfort me. It was weird. Even when I was a jerk to her, she attempted to comfort me - which made it hard to hate her.

We continued the rest of the way to her house in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Had it not been for her confession, we would be planning our lives together. Instead
, I battled the dual emotions raging within me. I wanted to see what my life would be like before Diana robbed Emily and me of our future. Would Emily and I be married by now? Would we still be happily in love with each other?

Another part of me, the part I wished would go away, missed Diana. She had been the center of my life for the last year
; and, yes, I did love her. The problem was I wasn’t sure if I could forgive her.
Should I forgive her?
I was so confused, which only upset me more.

When I pulled up in front of her apartment complex
, we both sat in silence, neither of us making a move to leave the car. With a long sigh, I turned to face her. I opened my mouth to say something, but she spoke instead.

“I know you still love her. You loved her the whole time and I don’t want to stand in your way. I’m sorry for hurting you, for hurting her…” she trailed off, lowering her head. “I don’t blame you for hating me.”

Her words cut me deeply as I watched her sniffle back tears. I didn’t hate her, not really. I was angry at what she had done. I still loved her; I realized as I withdrew my hand from hers and lifted them to brush her dirty blonde hair out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ears.

“I don’t…I don’t hate you D. I hate what you did. I just need to see what would have happened if you hadn’t interfered. I feel like I owe it to both Emily and
myself to see if we can still be together. We were in love. I was going to propose remember? I need to do this,” I declared before pulling her into a hug, her vanilla scent filling my nose once again. She nodded her head against my chest while sniffling and trying to hold back her tears.