Authors: Maria Hammarblad
I like this chick.
"Is she using too?"
"Probably. I haven't been to their house, I refuse to go there, but from what I hear it's pretty bad. The boys sleep on the floor, and they have cockroaches. I sometimes see the bugs run from her car." She shuddered. "When I think about it, sitting outside my house might be the highpoint of their day."
He nodded. Interesting how she called it
her
house and not their.
Sharon asked, "Why doesn't she bring them in?"
Helen smirked. "The first time she came here I made it clear I'm not going to babysit. I already work two jobs, and that's enough. She keeps asking, and I keep saying no. If she brings them in, she'll have to take care of them. Leave them in the car, she can forget about them for a while."
Jimmy tried to sound natural. "Can I use your restroom?"
"Sure, it's probably in the same place as yours. I think all these houses look the same."
It was exactly the same as Sharon's, but with a green sink instead of marble, and with a flowered shower curtain instead of a sliding shower wall.
He closed the door behind him and pulled up the phone.
"Hey, Bishop, I need you to run a plate for me. Can you have child services check out the address?"
*****
L
ater in the day, Sharon peeked out to see Jimmy's bike outside, but there was no trace of the man. She opened the door and peeked out. "Jimmy?"
No answer. The garage door was closed and the back yard empty.
Maybe aliens abducted him? Or, maybe the police snatched him up again.
That
thought made her heart feel cold.
Just as she was about to submit to panic, she saw a tall shape bent over the neighbor's old Ford. Definitely Jimmy, pottering about under the hood.
She plodded over there barefoot, enjoying the feeling of grass under her feet. Were the neighbors about to be their best friends now, or what was he up to?
"What are you doing?"
He peeked out oily, but wearing a big grin.
"Hey beautiful, I invited Frank and Helen over for a barbie. That's okay, right?"
How have I lived next door to them for so long without knowing their names?
"In that case, I'm calling Mona."
"Tell her to bring beer." It didn't take long before the engine purred and he patted the fender. "Better than new. See you in a few, Frank."
Sharon followed him to the back yard and watched him push her beautiful, stainless, gas-fueled grill to the side.
"You have a real one in the garage. If we are to cook, we cook the right way."
"That coal has been on the shelf for years. It won't burn."
"Of course it will."
I didn't think I'd see that old coal-burning dragon again. I like my new grill. It was expensive. Oh well, he'll never get that thing started.
Jimmy whistled between his teeth as he tore off pieces of the coal bag, crumpling them into little balls. He clearly had a magic touch: the fire started just fine and the bed of coal was almost ready when Mona arrived.
Jimmy looked at her and smirked. "I didn't recognize you without the shotgun."
Just for once she seemed flustered.
That
almost never happened.
When she didn't answer, he winked, clearly trying to make her feel better.
"It's good that you look out for each other. Especially when dealing with guys like me."
"Oh, I don't know, I think you are kinda cute with your matching clothes. I bet those skull rings saying one percent match too. You need a Hello Kitty badge to complete the middle school girl look, but I'm sure Sharon can sew one on the vest for you."
An expression of sheer surprise flew over Jimmy's face, and for a moment Sharon thought he'd be angry. He had never been angry or impatient thus far, but some time had to be the first, and this was a pretty severe insult.
She didn't
know
much about the one percent outlaw gangs, but Google had informed her respect was important.
A second later, Jimmy roared with laughter and ended up having to sit on the grass, drying his eyes.
Sharon exchanged a glance with Mona, who mouthed, "Is he high?"
I don't think so. I hope not. Doesn't seem his style.
Jimmy gave a loud huffing noise, clearly struggling to settle down.
"Good one. I needed that."
––––––––
A
s much as Sharon wanted to think about other things, like work, her mind obsessed over her questions about Jimmy.
They had never decided to live together, but he had clearly moved in. They spent so much time together and he was the center of her world, but who was he, really?
All her attempts to pry were unsuccessful.
She said, "You know my friends. When will I meet yours?"
He had met nearly everyone she knew, and she almost felt guilty for the way she showed him off.
He gave the same answer he always did. "You won't."
That didn't seem fair. "But..."
He fixed his eyes on her. "Let it go."
Maybe she was too normal? Too gray and boring?
"Are you ashamed of me or something?"
Jimmy laughed, but fell serious when she didn't join in.
"It's not like that at all. Other way around. These aren't people I want you to meet."
"How do you know
I
don't want to meet them?"
He made a pacifying gesture. "I want you to be safe and think good thoughts of me. You wouldn't like them anyway."
That was probably a valid point. She didn't exactly believe the stereotypes presented by media, Jimmy sure didn't live up to them, but she was an
extremely
law abiding citizen. All this anarchy stuff wasn't for her.
"I just... I don't know anything about you. I want to be a part of your life."
He wrapped his arms around her waist and gazed into her eyes. "You
are
a part of my life."
She didn't answer, and he tugged her closer. "A big, important, pleasurable part of my life. I don't know how I lived without you."
"Flatterer."
"Maybe, but it's not flattery if it's true."
He sighed, released his grip on her, and wandered over to the window.
Sharon crossed her arms over her chest. "What's wrong?"
"It's a bad time to tell you this, but I need to go away for a couple of days."
"What? Why?"
Did she bring this down on herself by being too curious?
Being alone held no appeal whatsoever. It was pretty clear he wouldn't let her come to wherever he was going, and she couldn't ask him to stay. Dammit.
"It's a charity drive. We'll be camping."
"Camping?"
Way to go, sounding like an echo.
He glanced back over his shoulder and winked.
"There will be girls, guns, and booze, and I won't even look at the girls, because I'll be pining for you."
This time she gave in to his charm; she couldn't help but laugh. She still whacked a bulging bicep. "You're a rotten liar."
"I'm not lying. I'll suffer every minute and wish I were here with you."
The solution to the problem seemed easy to her. "So, don't go."
I will miss you so much. Please don't go.
"I have to."
She could debate with reasons, but not with those simple words.
"Just come back in one piece, will you."
The look in his eyes said she was cute and silly. Then, his words sank in.
"Did you say charity run?
Charity
?"
"Oh yeah, the VP loves that shit. He says it's good for our image and shows what law abiding citizens we are."
"I bet everyone else are thrilled to have you there."
Jimmy chuckled. "Oh yes. There are usually parades in our honor. Picketing and riots and stuff."
*****
T
he time until he left went by much too quickly, and Sharon pretended she was okay. She even kissed him goodbye and watched him drive away without tears.
I'm fine. I'm doing great.
She lied so well she almost fooled herself, until she woke up in the middle of the night with her breath caught in her chest. The sheets fought her and the pillows seemed an impossible fortification attempting to choke her.
Once she managed to breathe, it wasn't so bad. She stared up at the ceiling for a long time, focusing on breathing in, letting air out, filling her lungs, and emptying them again.
It was just a dream.
A particularly bad one, but still just a dream.
She had been on the edge of a great chasm, so deep she couldn't see the bottom. She was alone, but on the other side, Jimmy worked on his bike. People came over to him, laughing and talking, but he wouldn't turn towards her. She couldn't get across, and the ground crumbled under her feet.
She fell, screamed, but no one heard.
She fell for a long time and was sure she would die.
She'd be gone and he wouldn't even notice.
Was her subconscious trying to tell her something?
Maybe, but she didn't
have
to listen. She ignored it and kept pretending she was fine.
The days and nights without Jimmy were some of the longest of her life, and when he returned she held him hard. She wanted to weep with relief, but swallowed the tears down. He must not know how dependent she was.
The reprieve was much too brief.
He left again after a couple of days, and she roamed from window to window wondering what to do with herself.
Mona took her to the mall, but not even being surrounded by people helped her shake the thorns of worry. She stood at Macy's, staring at nothing.
"I think you should get that. Did you ever consider coloring your hair green? We could tattoo scales on your cheeks and you could pretend to be a lizard."
She heard
that
her friend talked, but not the actual words.
"Yeah, sure."
Mona put a hand on her arm.
"Hey, he'll be back. He can take care of himself."
"I know."
"No, you don't. You look like you're going to a funeral. Here, this will cheer you up. Buy this and wear it around the house. You might get arrested for indecent exposure if you wear it outside, but indoors I'm sure Jimmy would love it."
Mona held up a red miniskirt that wouldn't even go halfway down Sharon's butt.
She stuck her tongue out. "I was never small enough to fit in that. I just don't know if I trust him."
"With what?"
Good question. Booze? He drank a lot, but odds were all these guys did. Drugs? She didn't
think
he did drugs. Crime? Women? Being jealous was below her, wasn't it?
"I... I don't know."
"Men are men and shouldn't be trusted, but I've seen the way he looks at you. He wouldn't risk losing you, he'll keep it in his pants."
"I hope you're right."
Mona's company helped, and gave a break from feeling miserable.
Jimmy called Saturday evening and sounded a little drunk.
"Hey, we're in Sebring. We're taking a little detour, but I should be home the day after tomorrow."
"I miss you."
Sebring, wasn't that a type of Chrysler?
She grabbed her iPad and looked it up while listening to him. He was only a two-hour drive away. So close, but still so far.
She heard him sit down and drink something.
"I'm at the Econo Lodge. You should come over."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes, but you don't have to."
She could be there before midnight.
"Okay. I'll leave now."
"Hang on. I have some shit to take care of, but I'll be done by the time you get here. If you meet anyone outside, don't talk to them. If you have to talk to them, tell them that you're a hooker and I already paid, so you can't go with them. Okay?"
"No, that's not okay. I don't know what our relationship is exactly, but I don't think I should have to pretend I'm a whore to see you."
The words came out in a colder voice than she intended, but enough was enough, right?
"Sweetheart..."
"Don't sweetheart me. If you want hookers you should get your shit out of my house and not come back."
"I'm trying to keep you safe." His voice was quiet and sounded honest. She could imagine him rub his forehead, but she didn't answer.
"Sharon... I wouldn't ask you to come over here if it were dangerous. It's too far away for anyone to follow you home."
It kind of made sense. In a scary way.
"Why?"
"This is important. As long as no one knows how much I care for you, you're safe. If anyone would want to get to me, for any reason, they won't pick on you."
It was an awful way of reasoning, but she could feel the truth in his words. He wasn't making it up, and he wasn't lying. She still said, "Paranoid, much?"
"I wish. It was a bad idea, I'll see you the day after tomorrow."
"No, I'll be there."
*****
I
t was a long drive and she played old pop music to stay awake. A McDonald's lured her in with the bright neon sign, and coffee from the drive-thru made the adventure easier.
McDonald's. I wonder if someone has ever mistaken it for a motorcycle club. Hey, I heard those MC Donald's are coming to town.
She might not have known where Sebring was a few hours earlier, but Siri did, and her phone brought her to a two-story building with a huge red sign.
There was no doubt she reached the right place; the parking lot outside the motel was crammed with motorcycles, and she heard shouting and music from a couple of the rooms. Jumping down from the car, she tugged at her skirt. It was too short. Bad enough she let Mona talk her into buying a thing like this, worse that she chose to
wear
it.
I need to re-think my life, because this isn't for me. Wanting me to play a hooker. Idiot... I'm an idiot too for going along with it. Is that a pool over there? I bet there'll be dead people in it before morning.
At least her license plate said "The Sunshine State" and not what county she came from. This was a good time to be grateful for little things.
A man staggered along the building with his arms around two women. She was so preoccupied with watching the trio she didn't hear footsteps approach.