“Trey said you’d taken a fall on the orphan train?”
“I think so.”
“You’re not sure?”
She looked at him, such a changed man from the angry one who’d been ready to tear Trey apart. He’d taken off his hat to reveal a head of thick brown hair.
His eyes were no longer in shadow. Soulful brown eyes that brought snippets of memories to mind of a young boy who’d seemed far too old for his years.
“You all right?” he asked.
She smiled and nodded, the unease she’d felt with him drifting away like a feather caught on the wind. “I remember seeing you as a boy. Remember you holding my hand.”
He smiled then, and his broad shoulders lost their rigid lines. “I never let you out of my sight. They had to pull you from me at the orphanage.”
That dredged a shiver from her. “The Guardian Angel’s Orphan Asylum. I don’t remember much of it at all, but Trey told me about that time. How you were always getting in trouble because you were trying to protect me.”
His smile faded, and his gaze lowered. “That was the worst time in my life. I was lucky to make friends with Reid and Trey in the punishment shack.”
“He told me.” And she’d cried because it’d been her fault that they’d been punished.
“They put you on the orphan train soon after,” he said. “I found the place where you’d been taken off it.”
“In Texas?”
He shook his head. “Kansas. There was a bordello there and not much else. Ring a bell?”
She tried to remember it but couldn’t. “I can remember being taken from the train. Standing with another girl and holding hands.” That stab of old fear sank into her then. “The matron dragged me away. That’s when I broke free and ran, but I fell. I’ve no idea what happened after then.”
“You took a bad fall,” he said. “Knocked you out.”
Her gaze flew to his. “How do you know that?”
“Maggie told me. She was—”
“My friend on the train.” Daisy lurched from her chair and crossed to the sofa where Dade sat. Her fingers curled over his, and he turned his hand so he could hold hers.
The rightness that flowed through her warmed as nothing else had. But it was the affection that touch laid bare that brought tears to her eyes.
“You’ve talked with Maggie?”
He let out a small chuckle, but it soon built into a deep laugh that made his eyes crinkle and brought to mind the boy he’d been so very long ago. “It’s a long story that I’ll tell you later, but I married Maggie Sutten a month ago.”
What a small world. “Where is she?”
“Back home and none too pleased with me for riding out without her,” he said. “But I wasn’t sure what to expect. Trey didn’t divulge much in his letter, and I was too impatient to take the train.”
She smiled at that admission. “That seems to be a universal trait with men. Daddy was that way. Trey’s the same.”
He turned serious again, and his fingers tightened a bit on hers. “When you say ‘daddy,’ you’re not talking about our pa.”
She shook her head. “I don’t remember him at all. Or if I do, it’s not clear.”
“Reckon that’s for the best.”
She thought of what Egan Jarvis had said about Clete Logan and his gang. “Was our father really that bad?”
Dade heaved a sigh, then told her about the cruel man who’d treated their mother like dirt. That she’d died giving birth to another baby and that the baby had died as well. Of their pa not shedding a tear. He moved another woman into the house, and a few weeks later he packed his children up and took them to the orphanage because he didn’t want the responsibility of a family.
Dade hadn’t seen or heard from him until just a month or so back when the Logan Gang held up the bank in the town where Dade was sheriff.
“A bounty hunter tracked them down. They’re all dead now.” A sad smile tugged at his mouth. “We’re the only blood kin we have left.”
She didn’t miss the “blood kin” part one bit, for it was clear that down deep he viewed Trey as his brother. But Trey March had never been her brother. He’d been the cowboy she’d taken notice of the first time he road onto the ranch.
He was her lover. Would have been the father of her baby.
“I’m glad that we’ve reunited after all these years,” she said, choosing her words with care. “We have Trey to thank for that.”
His smile vanished under a troubled frown. “How long have you two been”—he waved a hand as if trying to snatch the words out of thin air—“close.”
She supposed that was a better word to use than
lovers.
“I was drawn to Trey the first time I saw him.”
He nodded, his mouth set in a grim line. “Likely you remembered him from the orphanage.”
“No, I don’t think so. The only young boy I remembered seeing was you, and I didn’t know at the time that I was recalling my brother.” She laid her other hand atop his, sandwiching it between hers. “I didn’t know for sure until I looked into your eyes.”
They fell silent, and the beginnings of familiarity began to weave around Daisy. Holding his hand was a comfort. It gave her a sense of security like she’d always felt around her daddy that was far different from the protective passion she felt with Trey.
“I guess you never knew Barton adopted you?”
She sat back, breaking the physical contact with her brother but feeling that spark of connection with him remain. “Daddy never said a word about it, and I had no reason to believe that I wasn’t his daughter.”
Dade nodded. “Guess I can see where a man would do that, especially if he knew who you really were. He might’ve feared that if word got out, it’d bring the Logan Gang to his door.”
“Maybe.”
She supposed that could have been part of it, but she was more inclined to think that Jared Barton was simply a powerful, possessive man. Everything he owned bore his brand. It made sense that he’d see she carried his name as well.
“Barton know about you and Trey?”
“Yes, and he wasn’t happy about it.” He had been spitting mad when he learned that Trey had loved her and left her.
“Surprised he didn’t put a gun in Trey’s back and see that he did right by you.”
She smiled at that, for it was exactly what Trey had said Dade would do. And he likely would still try to do that if she let him take over her life.
“Daddy would’ve if he could’ve found him,” she said, earning a questioning frown from Dade. “I’ll let Trey tell you the particulars of that episode. But because of me, he nearly died six months back.”
She shivered just thinking again of what Ned had put him through. Not once but twice.
“He risked his life again for me just a few days ago.”
“Sounds like he’s got more history with you than I do,” Dade said.
Most of it was troubled.
“Daddy protected me too much. But when he died, I wasn’t prepared to take over the ranches, and Trey wasn’t here to help then.”
“But he came back.”
She nodded. “He’d like to buy this ranch, but he’s as cash poor as I am.”
“He could marry you, which he ought to do anyway.”
“He could,” she allowed, ignoring the rest of his opinion. “All I ask for is his love, and he can’t give that.”
Dade pulled a face and downed his head. “Damn. The one thing a good woman wants and men like us have trouble giving.”
“But you did find a way,” she said.
“Wasn’t easy,” he said. “Reckon it’ll be harder for Trey. He always was a stubborn cuss.”
She hung her head, not knowing what to think anymore. “We’re at an impasse. I’m not willing to take less.”
He leaned back on the sofa and studied her with dark, unreadable eyes. “I don’t know what all happened this past week, but I’ll tell you one thing. If he didn’t care deeply for you, he never would’ve risked his life for you.”
“I know that, but it doesn’t change what I have to hear from his heart.”
“Could be that the worst is yet to come,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
He leaned forward and rested his bent arms on his knees. “Mrs. Charlton, the wife of the man who bought the Crown Seven, thinks that Trey might be her long lost son.”
She nodded. “Mr. Charlton has already paid Trey a visit. As you can imagine, it was laced with tension. He is coming back in a week with his wife. I’m worried how Trey will cope if he really is this lost son.”
“Hard to say, but I’d guess he won’t take it well.” Dade rubbed his forehead, looking weary. “Reid’s coming too. He thought it’d be best if Trey had his family close.”
“A united front?”
He smiled. “Something like that.” He took her hand and squeezed it. “Much as I want to stay here and get to know you better, I know if I don’t head back home in the morning and fetch Maggie, there will be hell to pay.”
“You’ll come back and bring her?”
He laughed. “I won’t get out of town without her. You’re going to need a woman in your corner, little sister. An old friend.”
“I’d like that,” she said.
“Good. Now I’d best round up Trey and get some answers out of him.”
“Promise me you won’t bully him.”
“You really are protective of him, aren’t you?”
“Somebody has to love him.”
He shook his head. “He’s one lucky cowpoke. Hope to hell he realizes it soon.”
So did she. But she was almost out of room to hope anymore.
Chapter 23
Trey March stood at the paddock and watched the horses cutting up in the pasture in the early morning mist. Most mornings he felt the same, with his first thoughts on Daisy and a hard-on that only she could ease.
He’d yet to wake with her in his arms and find that satisfaction, and it was looking like he never would. Unless he lied to her, told her he loved her.
He scrubbed a hand over his mouth and swore. He couldn’t do that to her, and Dade’s parting warning an hour ago to “get his shit together” had nothing to do with it.
By the end of the week, his brothers would arrive, and he’d find out what really happened with Reid over two years ago. Dade had only told him that the truth would make them stronger. That made him smile.
Since the day he’d driven these thoroughbreds to the Circle 46, he’d wanted to show them off to Reid. To brag a bit. To let his eldest brother know that he was well on his way to raising fine horses too.
He wanted to be on equal footing with Reid. He’d thought owning these horses and having a stake in land would do that. But now he wasn’t so sure. Hell, he wasn’t sure about anything, even who he was.
The scent of lilacs seeped into his senses. He turned just as Daisy climbed onto the fence and stood, so she was nearly eye level with him where he sat.
“Why didn’t you come to breakfast with me and Dade?” she asked.
“Thought you two needed time alone.”
He eyed her, thought she was the prettiest woman he’d ever seen in his life. Thought he’d surely never get tired of standing beside her each morning just like this, seeing her smile up at the sun. At him.
He could have it all if he could just say those words. But that’s all they’d be. Words without meaning.
“Dade warned me that I shouldn’t be surprised if you disappeared for a day or so,” she said.
He nodded, knowing that’s what he always did when tough decisions had to be made. He’d go off to think things through.
“ ‘ Sulking time is a waste,’ Reid always said,” he admitted. “Dade would always look me up and talk me into siding with him.”
“Because he was right?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes he was, but I always ended up doing it just to keep peace.”
That pattern had only served to set them up for the fall when Reid betrayed them. Except it hadn’t been Reid at all. Kirby’s cousin was the culprit, Dade said, but wouldn’t tell him any more until they were all together.
“Are you nervous about seeing him again?” she asked.
“Reid? Hell, no. It’s past time we talked things out.” He needed to hear from him what had turned him. Why he’d been led to believe that Reid had betrayed them.
“Something’s bothering you. What is it?”
Part of it was her and what she wanted from him, but telling her that would just be rehashing the same old thing. Besides, what was driving him away was himself.
“I’ve been thinking about what Charlton said about his wife looking for her son and thinking it’s me.”
“You sure that’s all it is?”
“You got a better idea?”
“Yes, I do. You’re hesitant about meeting Mrs. Charlton,” she said. “You’re afraid you won’t be the son she’s looking for.”
He heaved out a breath. Hesitant?
“Nope, I’m scared shitless that I
am
her lost son.”
Her big eyes widened, and her soft lips parted. “Why?”
Having a mother who wanted him could change his whole life in ways he couldn’t imagine.
If
he was Mrs. Charlton’s lost son.
If
she recognized the birthmark on his nape that Daisy swore he had. That Charlton had insisted on seeing.
He’d accepted the fact that he was a tumbleweed, likely a bastard not wanted by his family. Even on the Crown Seven, he’d never balked about being the youngest brother. He’d always felt he owed Reid allegiance for taking him under his wing in the orphanage. He’d accepted Dade as one of their own soon after that.
“I don’t know how to be a son,” he said. “Don’t know how to be part of a family. Don’t know much about those feelings you talk about.”
She didn’t say a thing. Just stood beside him clinging to the corral fence and watching the horses run wild. He thought maybe she was ignoring him, thinking he was crazy in his head for not understanding what she took for granted. But he couldn’t just feel the same things she did.
“I guess I know more than anyone how hard this is for you,” she said. “You can’t change how you think and feel overnight. I sure don’t expect you to. In fact I wouldn’t believe you if you did.”
He nodded. Blew out a relieved breath that she understood him better than he did himself. “What do I do, Daisy?”
“What did you do before when you were faced with a difficult decision?”
He hung his head and let out the beginnings of a laugh. “Like Dade said, I went off on my own. Holed up. Thought things through. Came back having an idea of what I had to do to be true to myself and whatever I was facing.”
She smiled and gave his shoulder a teasing nudge with her own. “Did it work?”
“Most times,” he said, liking her like that and feeling at ease, wishing they could stand here forever just jawing.
But that wasn’t to be.
His past was fixing to descend on him. He had to take a good long look at himself before that happened. He knew only one way, even though leaving Daisy was the last thing he wanted to do.
“I’m going away for a few days,” he said, his mind made up.
“Where to?”
Some place where folks were few and far between. Some place where he wouldn’t be bothered. Some place where he could take that good, hard look at himself and see if there was a chance he could become the man she needed him to be.
“Think I’ll head back to the JDB and hole up in the adobe,” he said.
She didn’t move. Didn’t give any sign that she cared one way or the other.
“Will you come back?” she asked at last, and the worry in her voice sank into his soul and stirred that odd feeling again.
“You can bet on it.”
No matter what he decided, he’d come back here, if only to tell her he was riding on. That she’d be better off with him being a memory than being her man.
“What should I tell Dade and Reid if they arrive before you get back?”
“Tell them I went off to think,” he said. “They’ll understand.” Or at least Dade would.
He climbed off the fence and resisted the urge to help her down, to slip his hands around her little waist once more. To pull her to him and kiss her like there was no tomorrow. For there very well might not be one for them.
She didn’t move from where she clung to the fence. She just stared out at the pasture in silence.
Maybe that was best, for he didn’t want to see any tears as he rode off. Didn’t want her sadness tormenting his mind.
Yet an empty feeling settled in his gut as he strode to the corral. It was something he’d never felt before, at least not this intensely.
Too much on his mind, he reasoned. Too much that could go right or wrong.
He opened the gate to find Hollis carefully pouring a bucket of water into a small trough set in the shade of the barn. “I’ll be leaving for a spell. Watch over Daisy while I’m gone.”
“You need supplies?” Hollis asked.
“Yep. Enough to last a couple of days.” He kicked a clod of rock-hard ground. “Daisy knows where I’ll be, but if something happens and you need me, I’ll be at the JDB. Keep that under your hat.”
Hollis nodded. “I’ll get your supplies ready.
By the time he saddled the calico gelding, Hollis had filled his saddlebags with enough provisions to last a week. Maybe the man knew him better than he thought.
He turned the horse south without looking back at Daisy, without taking one last look at the Circle 46 that felt like home with her here. His gaze fixed on the lonely plains yawning ahead like an endless, dun sea.
He knew lonely. Had lived with it all his life even when he was with his foster brothers.
Would it always be that way, or was he finally ready to open himself up? That’s what he had to find out, and he wouldn’t come back until he had an answer.
On the afternoon of the fourth day since Trey left, Dade and his bride rode onto the Circle 46 in a buckboard that had a mound of valises and bandboxes tied down on the shelf behind the seat. Daisy wasn’t surprised that her brother was the first of her guests to arrive. Nor was she shocked that it appeared their stay would be lengthy.
“This is my wife, Maggie,” he said, his voice rich with affection. “She was on the orphan train with you.”
Daisy smiled at the beautiful woman with the sparkling blue eyes and wealth of honey-colored hair and extended her hands to her. “Is it really you?”
“It’s me,” she said, their hands clasping in an age-old bond of sisterhood. “I’ve thought of you every day of my life.”
Daisy wished she could say the same, but her memories of the tall girl on the orphan train were sketchy and troubling. And then her gaze fixed on the broach at Maggie’s throat. A cameo broach of a mother and a child.
“Oh, my God,” she said. “Where’d you get that broach?”
Maggie’s fingers lifted to the piece, carefully unhooking it. She pressed it into Daisy’s hands.
“You lost it the day they took us off the orphan train and a man took you in,” Maggie said.
Flashes of that horrid scene tormented her, but none clearly enough to remember. Yet she knew this was hers.
“I remember this.” She looked to Dade who was deathly quiet. “It was Mama’s.”
He nodded. “When Pa left us at the door of the orphanage, he pinned that on your dress.”
Daisy closed her eyes as silent tears slipped down her cheeks. Finally a memory of her real family. Blood kin standing beside her. And a family heirloom to cherish.
“For years I thought I’d made you up in my mind,” she told Maggie.
“You poor dear,” Maggie said. “When we found out you’d lost your memory, we were worried sick what had become of you.”
Daisy looked from Maggie to Dade, whose cheeks had taken on a ruddy hue. “When did you find this out? Where?”
“In Kansas. Didn’t Dade tell you about our adventure?”
She looked up at her brother standing so tall and solemn with just the tinge of red on his cheekbones. “No, he just said it was a long story and let it go at that. I gather it was an interesting one as well.”
He shifted from foot to foot, looking mighty uncomfortable discussing his private life. “That’s putting it mildly.”
Daisy hooked her arm in Maggie’s. “Do come in. I’m most curious about this adventure you took to find me.”
“Believe I’ll have a talk with Trey while you two are hashing over old times,” Dade said.
Daisy stopped to face her brother. “He’s not here. He went off to think things through and said you’d understand.”
Dade swore and kicked at the ground. “Was afraid he’d take off.”
“He’ll be back.”
But Dade’s expression didn’t reassure her at all. “I’ll see to the buckboard and be in later. You two go on and catch up on old times.”
Maggie stopped to get a parting kiss from her husband before joining Daisy inside. Daisy bit her lip, kicking herself for not kissing Trey before he left, for just standing on the fence staring at the horses through watery eyes.
My God, what if Trey didn’t return? What if her insistence on holding out for love coupled with his fear over meeting the mother he’d thought had abandoned him were just too much to deal with?
Don’t think that way.
He had given his word. Only thing that would stop him from keeping it would be if he ran into trouble.
Like Egan Jarvis?
“You’re worried,” Maggie said when they were seated in the parlor.
She nodded, seeing no reason to deny it. “It’s a troubling time for Trey, and there’s nothing I can do to make it easier for him to bear,” she said. “Now please, I am most interested to learn how you and my brother met.”
Maggie laughed. “It all started with me running for my life and using your name. Your brother didn’t take my deception well at all.”
For the next hour, Daisy listened with rapt fascination as Maggie told her about the rich family who’d taken her into their home. Of the wild journey she and Dade embarked on to find Daisy, rife with danger and passion. How Maggie slowly fell in love with Dade but feared she’d never be able to have a normal life with him because of the man tracking her down.
“We were so sure we were closer to finding you once I recognized the place where the train stopped and you were taken away,” Maggie said.