Cowboys and Highlanders (45 page)

“Then you don’t have to worry.” But was her virtue in tact? She certainly wanted all the carnal feelings TJ invoked within her. She shifted, needing Joseph to know the whole truth. “I did kiss him.”

“I can handle that.” He smiled and put his hand on her thigh.

The sun peeked over the mountains when they rode back to the ranch. They stopped in front of the house. Joseph slid from the horse, then wrapped his hands around Allison’s waist and lifted her down. He held her tightly for a moment, letting his hands rest on her hips, then he stepped back. “I’ll rub her down good,” he said, patting the horse’s side.

Allison gave Sugar a kiss on the neck. “Thank you. She’s wonderful, isn’t she?”

“Yep. She’s beautiful…like you.”

Allison turned to him and smiled.

Train rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “What are you going to tell him?” He nodded toward the house.

“I don’t know,” she said, concern lacing her voice. “I’m afraid of what he’s going to say—of what he’ll do.”

“You don’t need to be afraid of TJ. And you don’t need protect me. Tonight you’re ready to give up on him, but tomorrow might be different. So, for now, we’re friends seeing if there can’t be something more.”

“Exploring the possibilities,” she said.

“It won’t be easy on me if you decide you want him and not me.” He smiled. Reaching out, he smoothed her hair. “Your curls have been kicked into a tangle of knots.”

“I must be a fright.” She tried to right herself, but dropped her hands. She planned to crawl into bed anyway. Yawning, she covered her mouth. Just thinking about her soft pillow made her tired.

“I like you looking a bit messed.”

He planned to kiss her again. She could see it when he narrowed his smoky eyes. His lips twitched. Her tongue touched her upper lip preparing for the tender touch of his. Before he hadn’t given her those wonderful pulses deep in her core. But she could make the kiss better this time. If she could unleash his passion…feel his heated flesh and the mind numbing euphoria of desire.

She had to see if Joseph could make her forget everything but the aching need between them. Standing on her tiptoes, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Joseph whispered her name, and pulled her close, crushing her breasts to his chest. Then his soft, gentle lips covered hers. He didn’t open his mouth or steal her breath with his tongue. He didn’t wedge his leg between hers, forcing her to feel the heaviness of his arousal.

Pressure built behind her eyes. He left her cold.

Giving him a smile, she stepped back. “Thank you. For tonight. For understanding.” She only wished she understood what it was about TJ that had her by the heart.

“Whatever you decide.” He trailed a finger along her jaw. “We’ll still be friends, and I could never hate TJ. Although, I’ll be jealous as hell.”

She kissed him on the cheek, turned, and hurried up the porch steps. “Goodnight, Joseph.”

Chapter Nine

TJ reached down and picked up a handful of charred soil. He let the ash and dirt sift through his fingers. A group of men sat upon their horses waiting expectantly for his decision.

“What do you think, boss?”

“I think we got off lucky.” He dusted his hands on his pants and mounted his horse. “We’ll have cattle out here next spring. The north fields are going to take a beating until winter, but we don’t have much choice. The cattle have to eat.”

“Remember the floods,” one of the men said.

“We faired pretty well,” Train added. “We lost more land to the lake than we did to this fire.”

“I’ll need a complete count. If we need to haul in feed for winter storage, we need to buy now. Wait too long and we won’t get a good price.” TJ spurred his horse forward. The horses pounded the ground as they headed back toward the ranch.

The men tethered their mounts near the stables and began walking toward the shack. Cake had the aroma of ribs and cornbread drifting through the air.

“Where are you going?” TJ asked Train when he began walking in the opposite direction.

“I’m going to see if Allison needs anything before we go back out. Probably won’t see her again until after dark.”

TJ shoved his hands into his pockets. “If Allison needs anything, she’ll come to me.”

Train straightened his shoulders. “I’m referring to her personally. If she has a problem with the kids or the house, you can expect she’ll call on you.”

“Train, I already told you to stay away from her.”

“Why, so you can treat her like a whore from the brothel? Or are you just bothered because she’s interested in me?”

“She isn’t right for you.”

“You don’t have a say. Like it or not, she wants to be with me.” He paused a moment. “She told me.”

TJ clenched his fists. “Then she’s fond of both of us.”

Train shook his head. “Maybe she was confused before. She told me what happened between the two of you.”

Heat raced up TJ’s neck. “Bullshit.” He pushed past Train on the path.

“Don’t get angry with her. Be angry with yourself.”

“Stay out of this.”

“No.” Train followed him.

“Stay here. I’m not asking. I’m tell you. Train, eat in the shack!”

TJ strode up the path to the house. His footfalls landed hard against the wood planks. Throwing open the door, crashing it into the wall, TJ entered the house.

Allison came running from the kitchen. “What’s wrong?”

“You tell me?” TJ’s hands shook. He slammed the door closed.

“Shh. The children are napping, but they won’t be for long if you keep making noise. Do you want some lunch?” She headed back toward the kitchen.

TJ followed her. “No, I want to talk.” He could barely push the words past his lips.

“What have I done to get your dander up this time?” she asked while she poured tea over a glass of ice for him.

“How can you be sure I’m upset with you?” He didn’t sit down and didn’t take the drink from her hand.

She set the tea on the table. “Because you wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“It smells good in here. Were you expecting company?”

“You wouldn’t be asking if you didn’t already know the answer.” She sat at the table. “What do you want? First you pursue me and then you humiliate me.” She rubbed her temples. “I feel like I’m going crazy inside—
you’re
driving me crazy, and I don’t like it. Joseph is kind and honest. He doesn’t make me guess what he wants.”

TJ leaned against the wall. Tension coiled in his gut. “Is that what you think I do, make you guess?”

Allison slapped her palms on the table and stood. “Yes. You came right out and said you want me in your bed. But,” she said pointing a finger at his chest. “You could have bed me in the brothel, but you didn’t.”

“You aren’t a whore.”

She laughed. “You make me feel like one. You’ve all but called me one.” Her words stung him as if she’d slapped his face. “Joseph treats me as I am, a lady. He’s kind, interested in my opinions, and wants more than sex. He talks to me.”

“Courting. He’s courting you and that’s what you want?”

“I learned a long time ago that you don’t always get what you want. Sometimes you have to do what’s best.” She pushed her chair under the table and went to the sink.

He walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “You want me, but you’ll settle for him,” he said, spinning her around to face him.

Their eyes met. “I don’t see it as settling. My feelings for Joseph will grow with time.”

“It doesn’t work that way. We live in the same house. We see each other every day. You can’t get me out of here,” he said, poking a finger at her forehead, “when I’m already in here.” He put his hand on her chest, over her heart and sliding his palm between her breasts.

She swatted his hand away. “You’ve got it wrong, TJ. I tried to convince my heart there was more between us when there isn’t. This time I’m listening to my head.”

“You’ll hurt him, and you’re too foolish to see it.” TJ turned and strode out the kitchen door.

TJ saw Train as soon as he entered the shack. He’d been watching the door because Train stood and approached him holding his hat. Before he had a chance to speak, TJ pointed to the door.

“Mount up.” He gave Train’s shoulder a squeeze as he passed him. “We’ll talk when we’re alone.”

Train nodded and a moment later, they left.

Out in the field, TJ maneuvered his horse next to Train’s.

“Rain didn’t do much for the drought. We’d need a few weeks of storms to salvage the crops this year,” TJ said.

Train scanned the horizon of dried out vegetation. “Reckon you’re right on that.”

They rode quietly for a few more minutes.

“You brought me out here to talk. Let’s hear it.”

“She doesn’t love you.”

The lines around Train’s eyes deepened. “I know.”

“You want a woman who pines for another man.”

Train raised his eyebrows and smiled his crooked grin. “Who? You?”

TJ didn’t answer Train’s question, but posed one of his own. “Do you remember the first day you brought her up to the house?”

Train nodded as he rolled a cigarette. “Not something easy to forget.”

“No, she made quite an impression.”

Train chuckled. “You could say that.”

“I thought Janelle was the only woman who would ever understand my ways. It never bothered her to be isolated out here on the ranch. When Allison showed up in her city dress and Boston accent, I thought she’d never take to ranch life. I was wrong. She belongs here.” He took a deep breath. “But not with you.”

“We’ve fought enough over this.” Train pulled on the reins bringing his horse to a stop. “Are you telling me to stay away from her again?”

TJ shook his head. “No.” He took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m asking you. She’s different. Around her, I’m different. Please, give me a chance to get my head figured out. She makes me want for more than I have.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I need her.”

Train sighed. “I won’t pursue her, but I won’t refuse any advance she makes toward me. It’s her decision, always has been.” Train started his horse moving again. “I don’t want a woman coming between us.”

TJ agreed.

Chapter Ten

TJ cancelled the Fourth of July festivities. Although disappointed, Allison, along with everyone else understood. Cleaning up the fire was going to take time. Several buildings on the ranch fed the inferno. Thankfully, no lives were lost. The rest of the summer would be spent rebuilding and getting ready for winter.

Allison established a routine with the children that included breakfast and coffee with TJ every morning. With the extra work, he missed supper many nights. The children were getting used to it. Allison, not as much. Tonight was no different. The children were sleeping, the house was quiet and Allison was alone. She kept supper warm, but she didn’t know if TJ would be awake enough to eat. Fifteen hours on a horse in the fields wore a body down.

Footfalls sounded on the porch. Allison peered through the windows.
TJ.
She rushed and opened the door before he reached for the handle. He walked past her and hung his hat on the coat tree.

“Can I get you something to eat?” she asked, closing the door behind him.

He plopped onto the couch and tugged off a boot. “Just coffee if you’ve got it.”

“Fresh and hot.” She went to the kitchen. He might not want to eat, but he needed to. She ladled stew into a bowl.

He joined her a few moments later. “You didn’t have to go to any trouble.” He sat at the bowl of soup. “I’m exhausted.” He ground the palms of his hands into his eyes.

She wondered if his broad shoulders ever tired from the burden he carried. The men all looked to him for leadership. He never seemed to be indecisive.

Allison set a piece of cornbread in front of him. “Eat,” she said. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

With his chair balancing on its back legs, TJ rested his head against the kitchen wall. Shadows cast by the wall sconces danced along the table and ceiling. This house wasn’t Janelle’s anymore. Every time he walked in the front door, he smelled the oils Allison rubbed on after her bath. Once he could even smell it on his pillow.

Without consulting him, she’d made new curtains for the windows in the rooms that faced east. The sun had bleached the ones Janelle had purchased from a catalog when he built the house. Until the fire scorched the land, Allison had taken Sissy and Michael into the hills close to the house and picked flowers for the table. Sissy told him Allison liked flowers because they reminded her of home. He wondered how much she missed her family in Boston. He realized then he wanted his house to be her home. He didn’t want her to miss any part of her former life.

“Come with me.” Allison held out her hand to him.

He looked at her with half-closed eyes. Then he leaned forward, righting his chair on the floor. He held her hand as she led him upstairs. Lamps along the wall illuminated pale light from the low flames. She stopped in front of the bathroom and opened the door. She had the tub filled with steaming, hot water.

She clasped her hands behind her back. “If you leave something on,” she said, her cheeks turning pink. “Just take off your shirt or…something,” she stammered. “As long as you’re covered up, I’ll work the knots out of your back.”

He stood in front of her, meeting her apprehensive gaze, and undid the buttons of his shirt. Twisting, he slipped the shirt from his body.

Allison feasted on the finely chiseled contours of his suntanned chest covered by just the right amount of swirling, dark hair. His stomach, tight with muscles, rippled as if more than just her stare had touched him. A thin trail of hair bisected his abdominals, disappearing below his bellybutton into the waistband of his jeans. The bulge of his cock behind his jeans flexed.

She turned from him. “Cover up certain areas and I’ll come back.” She quickly left the room, closing the door.

Allison’s hand trembled, holding the doorknob. There was definitely no comparison between TJ and Joseph. Although both men had desirable qualities, TJ left Allison weak. Her legs liquefied. She ached to put her hands on his body. Now that she found a way, she wondered if it was a very good idea.

Water splashed as he slipped into the tub.
Dear Lord, he’s naked.
Joseph had never caused wetness between her legs as TJ did to her now.

“Allison, you can come in.”

She took a steadying breath and opened the door. He had been kind enough to turn the lamps low, leaving only enough of a flicker so not to extinguish the flame. She approached the tub with trepidation because she couldn’t tell whether he had covered up or not. She sighed in relief.

TJ had wrapped a towel around the lower half of his body. Under the water, it clung to the planes of his thighs.

“Lean forward,” she instructed. While she was filling the tub, she had placed a stool at one end. Rolling up her sleeves, she sat and picked up the bottle of liniment she’d left on the floor. After pouring a small amount in her hands, she vigorously rubbed them together to warm the oil. Hesitantly at first, she touched his shoulder.

The muscles just under the skin tightened under her fingers. “You have to relax.” She pushed her palm firmly against his shoulder blade and began to do circular motions. His muscles were hard beneath her fingertips. Heat from the water, or from the warmth of his skin, flowed up her arms. Steam created a moist cocoon. Her breath mingled with the herbal scent of the oil.

She’d never been with a naked man except for Mr. Clark at the Dusty Rose. She closed her eyes, imaging her hands on Mr. Clark rather than TJ.

It didn’t help her wayward meanderings of what it would be like to have their positions reversed. To have TJ’s hands roaming over her body, touching her breasts as he spread her thighs. Her nipples tightened and her sex grew hot and wet. Her own breathy pants sounded loud in her ears. Oh, how this man turned her into knots. Opening her eyes, she focused on the task rather than hard, muscular body she wanted pressed against hers.

Shifting to the side, she used all her strength to rub the tension from his shoulders.

TJ moaned, his head dropping forward. Allison glanced over his shoulder and her heart kicked into a rampant gallop. His cock, hard, thick and long, swelled beneath the towel molded to his groin. She chewed the corner of her lip and wondered how he’d feel in her hand. Marion had told her too many details. Now all Allison could think about was the wickedly devious acts a woman—a whore—could do for a man. Allison wanted TJ in those ways, in her mouth, in her body.

To get closer, Allison opened her legs straddling the back of the tub. The spread of her thighs sent shivers over her skin. She rocked on the stool, trying desperately to find a position to ease the ache between her legs. Alas, only TJ would appease the building need within her.

Taking a cup from the floor, she filled it with water and poured it over his neck and shoulders. He was finally relaxing. The muscles softened. She continued to rub and pour water over him. The drenched sides of her dress clung to her thighs and the front was soaked, molding to her body.

“Have you given many massages?” He rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck from one side to the other.

“Actually, my mother thought ladies of society should be pampered, hence my experience. Although, I have never received one in a bathtub. This would be the first one I’ve ever given. Lean back,” she told him. As he reclined against the back of the tub, she realized the position would put his head into her lap. Her hands stilled in the air above him.

“This is better.” He rolled his head from side to side letting the folds of her dress wrap around his ears. He looked up into her face and smiled.

She looked at his position and hers, deciding she couldn’t massage his shoulders this way. If she leaned forward, her breasts would be in his face. “Um, I guess you have to sit up a little more.” She slipped her hands under his arms.

He chuckled, but sat up until his back rested against the tub and his neck supported his head. Reaching around, her hands worked the upper part of his chest, and across the top of his shoulders.

“Why did you leave home?”

Her fingers stilled for a moment and then continued to press into his chest.

“The whole story or the abridged version?” she asked.

“Details are good.” He leaned his head against her upper arm as she worked a particularly tense area. “Ouch! Too hard.” He flinched.

“Sorry.” She lightened her touch. “I lived in Boston. My father comes from an influential family with new money although he doesn’t much care. My mother on the other hand, lives for pampering and finery. She loves money. As far as I can tell, it’s the only qualification she needed for a husband.” Her hands weren’t working the muscles as much as they were running over the contours of his chest.

Allison thought of her parents and transported back. She imagined her father, with his cigars, and his jolly disposition. He changed around her mother. “It feels like a lifetime since I’ve seen them.” She grew quiet for a moment, then continued.

“My mother’s only aspiration in life is to see what she can get from people. She’s always looking for better than she has. My father can’t make her happy unless he’s giving in to her demands.” Her fingers stopped to touch the silky hair between his pectoral muscles. “It seems her ambitions extend to her children.” A tear filled her eye. She quickly blinked it away. “Henry Oakdale asked for my hand in marriage. I refused.” She plunged her hand into the tub and filled the small cup with water. She poured it across TJ’s chest. “She convinced my father it would be in my best interest to marry. He forced the engagement, so I left.” She wiped a tear from her cheek. The sting of her father’s betrayal as painful now as it was the night she left.

“That’s it.” At least, that was all she was willing to share. She stood from the stool, wiping her hands on her wet skirt.

Water splashed onto the floor when TJ grabbed her wrist. “Seems your leaving an awful lot unsaid. What about the man? Do you suppose he’s wondering what happened to his fiancée?”

“No. He’s well aware of my reasons for leaving.” She pulled her hand away.

“And he agreed? It seems unlikely if he asked for your hand.”

“He didn’t really ask. Therefore, he didn’t agree. That doesn’t suggest he’ll be surprised. We rarely saw eye to eye.” She put a towel next to him. “You’re turning into a prune and the water’s growing cold.” She stepped to the door, and then turned to him before leaving. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Thank you, Allison.”

She smiled and closed the door.

* * * * *

A few days passed. TJ had taken his time with Allison. He didn’t want to push her, and he knew she was still struggling with her guilt over Train. But his emotions had only become clearer. Allison belonged with him. Now he just had to find a way to get through to her.

The morning was still dark. But the sun would be up in a couple of hours. “I’m going to Copper City. Train was going to join me and then changed his mind. He said he isn’t up for trip.” He sipped his coffee, watching Allison’s reaction over the rim of his cup. “You know a reason why he wouldn’t want to go?”

“I wouldn’t have a clue.” She swung around and faced him. “It might be because every time you’re around, he seems to be busy riding the fences. At times you infuriate me.” She tossed the cloth she had been washing the counters with into the sink. “You act as if you’re jealous. You don’t want Joseph near me and don’t deny it. But you,” she said in a disgusted tone. “You want Sandy when I’ve all but thrown myself at you.” She slapped a hand to her forehead. “I can feel a headache coming on. Nothing new considering you tend to bring out the worst in me. I’ve always had a temper. Until I met you, I never had a difficult time controlling it.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “This might come as a surprise, but the kiss we shared wasn’t that special. I want more than what you’ve offered.” She walked out of the kitchen.

A moment later, the front door slammed. He waited a few minutes before following. Finding Allison in the stable, crooning to her horse, he asked, “Will you go with me?”

“Where?” She didn’t look up, but kept her eyes glued to Sugar’s back.

“Copper City. You can visit with Marion, and Sandy can tell you I haven’t touched her since I kissed you.”

Allison put down the brush and sat on a pail next to Sugar’s stall.

TJ continued, “You’re right about some of what you were saying in the kitchen. I’m not one for talking. I assume my actions convey my intentions.” He dropped to his haunches beside her, resting his forearms on his thighs.

“You confuse me. I don’t know what to do. What do you want?”

He took her hands in his and spoke quietly. “The kiss was special.” He leaned in and pulled her close at the same time. He smelled roses just before he covered her mouth with his own. He let go of her hands and gently clasped her around the ribcage. He pulled her tighter when her arms wrapped around his neck. He growled, slipping his tongue into her moist mouth. Tasting her tongue, sealing their lips, he kissed her deeply.

Releasing her lips, he buried his face in her neck. “I’m not asking you to come with me to keep you away from Train. Go because you want to be with me.”

“I don’t know.” She weaved her fingers into his hair. He heard the hesitation in her voice.

“I’d like to leave in about an hour. You don’t have to worry. I’m not asking Train to take care of Sissy and Tiger. Betty wants to take the children.”