Authors: Lisa Lennox
DURING THEIR DRIVE
to Laci's house, they went over their plan. Laci was to tell her mother everything, no matter how hard it was. Dink had explained to her that she needed all the help and support she could get, and that her mother couldn't help her with a problem she didn't know about.
“Damn, this is your house?” Finally, Dink got a chance to see where Laci came from, why she was so different.
“Yeah, I know it's big. We have a gardener and a maid who come help my mother twice a week. I don't know what my mother is going to do with herself once I'm gone.”
“How many rooms is it?”
“Five bedrooms, six bathrooms, two living rooms, and a pool in the back,” Laci spouted off, unfazed by her plush lifestyle. The white brick Colonial-inspired home had four pillars in front, similar to the White House. In all his years of stackin' chip, Dink had never seen a home like this. Of course he'd imagined it and if he wanted to, he could drop the cash right now and buy the home that was for sale right across the street. However, until he
met Laci he'd had no real desire to leave the hood. Actually, he'd never thought he could.
Focusing back on the matter at hand, Dink checked himself and turned to Laci. “Now page me if you need me, girl. Aiight?” He looked directly into her eyes. She cracked a smile. “What?”
“Nothing. It just feels like I've been with you all my life. You know how it is in the movies? You get to see someone's entire life in ninety minutes. Well, that's how this day has felt.”
Dink smiled back at her. “Well, you definitely gon' get more than ninety minutes out of me, girl. But like I was saying, hit me up anytime during the night. I got some business I need to take care of in the morning, then I'm going to come back through to check you out. Is that cool?”
Laci nodded. Dink wanted to get up first thing in the morning and get some info on rehabs so that he didn't show up empty-handed. He promised Laci he would help her and that's exactly what he planned on doing. From here on out, any obstacle facing either one of them they'd tackle together.
Dink made sure Laci understood how serious he was about her kickin' that shit. He told her that he intended to go as far as patting her ass down if necessary. If they were going to try and do the damn thang, she had to get her shit back in order. And college still had to be part of her future. If it were up to Dink, she'd start on time with the rest of the freshmen.
Dink warned Laci to stay away from the Jackson Projects, too. And he told her that if she really wanted help, then she would have to help herself as well. He wasn't going to try to pull dead weight.
“I know all this might sound like I'm just trying to step up in
your life and take over, but this is what I gotta do. Do you understand that?”
“Yes, I do,” Laci said like an obedient child.
“Then you have to put all of your energy into leavin' this crack shit alone. You ain't been on it that long, so maybe that counts for something. Right now your mind is just caught up in it. It's got you thinking your body needs it, but it don't. It ain't gonna be easy, but we'll get through it. Are you with me?”
“Sure, Dink,” Laci said, trying to sound confident.
“Well, I'm gon' head out.”
“Dink?” Laci said softy.
“Yeah.”
“Where you headed? To Crystal's?” Laci couldn't help but ask.
Dink sighed. “Don't even think like that. I'm takin' care of her. She's gon' get what she's got comin' to her. Don't worry about it. You have my word on that. So, are you truly with me?”
Laci paused. Life with Dink would be a gamble. She could try and make it work with him, but what if he turned out to be just like everybody else who'd tried to befriend her? Looking at her other options, which were somewhere between very few and none, Laci was willing to take a chance.
“Yes, of course I'm with you.”
“Good. Now head on in that house and handle your business with your moms.”
“Okay,” Laci said. She leaned in, kissed Dink good night, and opened the car door. Before getting out she turned toward him.
“Don't hurt me,” Laci said with desperate eyes. “Please don't hurt me, Dink.”
“I'll never hurt you. We're going to grow old together and sit on our porch drinkin' lemonade, watchin' our grandkids play.”
Laci put her head down and smiled. “Do you promise?”
Dink looked at her warmly. There was nothing he wanted to do more at this moment than just take her in his arms and ride away somewhere farâto get away from all the bullshit forever. But right now he couldn't offer her that. Right now all he could offer her was his word. “I promise.”
L
ACI WOKE UP
the next day thinking that the night before was all a dream. That was until the grip showed up twice as strong. The desire to smoke wasn't the only thing that had her wide awake. The phone kept ringing. Her mother must have already gotten up and headed out for the day or else she would have answered it by now. Laci tried to sleep through the annoying rings, but her craving wouldn't let her rest.
The night before, Dink had occupied her time and thoughts. He had been her rock. But now, all she had was a craving for that get-high.
“Hello,” Laci said, frustrated with the caller.
“Hello? Can I speak to Laci?” the caller asked.
“This is she,” Laci said, clearing her throat.
There was a pause. “Laci, it's Shaunna.” Shaunna figured that two in the afternoon was enough time for anyone to have gotten a sufficient amount of sleep.
“Shaunna?” Laci said, sounding both irritated and surprised.
“Yeah. Where you been, girl? Your mother didn't tell you that I called? I haven't seen or heard from you in weeks.”
Laci remained silent, trying to focus her eyes. Hell, it might have been two in the afternoon, but it felt like the middle of the night for her.
“I know that you haven't heard from me in a while, but I did try to call you.”
“What do you want?” Laci asked dryly. She wasn't interested in anything Shaunna had to say.
“What do I want?” Shaunna asked, as if she was surprised by the response.
“Yeah, you heard me,” Laci snapped. “I know you're not my friend. Only
friends
call each other just to say hey. So why are
you
calling me? You feel guilty?”
“Guilty?”
“Yeah, guilty. Why are you trying to act stupid? You were a part of the whole thing too.”
“I didn't want to do it, Laci, I swear,” Shaunna confessed. “I even got into an argument with the girls after the fact.”
“Yeah, whatever, Shaunna. You're just trying to clear your conscience. You don't give a fuck about what happens to me.”
“You're wrong, Laci,” Shaunna said in a sincere tone.
“The only thing I was wrong about was fuckin' with you and your weak-ass crew.”
“I understand that, but I'm tryin' to apologize for my part.”
“I don't want an apology from you. What the fuck is an apology gonna do for me now?” Laci sobbed. “What you did to my life . . . oh, man . . . there aren't any words. But I'm not gon' let y'all bitches break me. I'm gon' clean myself up and go off to college as planned. Just watch and see.”
“That's good,” Shaunna said, genuinely happy for her. “I know you ain't tryin' to hear it, but all I can do is tell you that I'm sorry. I realize I was wrong, and I wouldn't wish on anyone what we did to you.”
“You're right. I ain't trying to hear it. But you know what? You can hear my friend Tone.” Laci slammed the phone down.
Ring . . . Ring . . . Ring . . .
“Hello!”
“Laci?” asked another familiar voice.
“Quita?” Laci said, shocked to hear her voice on the other end. Nobody had ever given two shits about her before.
“Laci, you know I've been tryin' to get in contact with you forever? What's up? Where have you been?”
Laci began to laugh. “What is it with you bitches, all of a sudden coming out of the woodwork trying to get at me?”
“Damn,” Quita said in a stink-ass voice. “Why you trippin'?”
“Why am I trippin'!” Laci exclaimed. “Bitch, you gave me crack! For the past few weeks my life has been fucked up. And instead of helping the situation, you fed me more of the poison. I shouldn't even have to go into what happened at your man's house. As you all say, you violated big time.”
“Laci, you came to me,” Quita said. “What did you
think
we were going to doâgo shopping, do lunch and a movie? I know you mad about everything, butâ”
“Mad?” Laci interrupted. “Quita, you tried to kill me.”
“Bitch, I saved your life,” Quita snapped before catching herself and calming down. “Look, Laci, you being extreme. It wasn't that serious.”
“It wasn't that serious?” Laci huffed. “I was a
virgin
, Quita. If I ever have kids one day and just happen to have a daughter,
what am I supposed to tell her about my first time? How am I supposed to sit down and have the talk with my daughter, knowing how something so precious was taken from me?”
Quita had no comment.
“Nothing to say, huh?” Laci said. “I'm not going to lie. I wanted to see you dead. But that ain't my place. Besides, you're already half-dead. Good-bye, Quita.”
Laci slammed her phone down as hard as she could. After a few seconds passed, it rang again.
“What the fuck!” Laci screamed. Thinking it was Quita calling her right back, she quickly picked up the phone, fully enraged.
“What the fuck do you want now?” Laci shouted into the phone.
“Damn, what did I do?” the caller asked.
“Who is this?” Laci said to yet another female voice on the other end of her phone.
“Laci, it's Monique,” Monique said, surprised that Laci was even home. “Where have you been? We've been worried sick.”
“What, did all of y'all have a meeting and decide to call me today? This shit is suspect.”
“What are you talking about?” Monique asked, confused. “I'm just callin' to see if you're all right. And I can't even lie, you been heavy on my mind.”
“Please,” Laci said, sucking her teeth. “Guilt has gotten to you, too, huh?”
“Laci, what are you talking about?” Monique played stupid. “What's wrong with you?”
“What's wrong with me? How about that fuckin' crack y'all had me smoke? Does that sound about right?”
“Aw, girl, that was just a joke. It wasn't nothin' serious.” Monique giggled nervously.
Laci growled in frustration. If only they knew what she was going through. If only they knew the battle between her brain and her body.
“Why does everybody keep saying the same thing? âOh, Laci, it's nothing serious.' I'd hate to see what y'all consider serious.”
Click.
Laci hung up again.
MONIQUE'S HEAD WAS
still throbbing from the verbal lashing Laci had just laid on her when her phone rang. “H . . . Hello?”
“What you doin', girl?” the caller asked.
“Who is thisâCrystal?” Monique asked.
“Yeah, bitch!” Crystal snapped. “Who the hell else it gon' be?”
“What up, girl? I ain't doing nothingâI just finished talking to Laci.”
“What the fuck you talkin' to her ass for? Are you crazy? I hope you hung up on that bitch.”
“Relax. I was just checkin' on her since we hadn't heard from her in a while.”
“Fuck that,” Crystal said, becoming more hype.
“Crystal, you not the least bit sorry about what we did?”
“She had it coming, and I'd do the shit all over again if I could. Only this time, I'd make sure the bitch OD'd.”
Monique could tell that some shit must have gone down to put Crystal on the rampage.
“What's up?” Monique asked with concern. “What happened?”
“That bitch and Dink rode around all day yesterday like they were the fuckin' Dukes of Hazzard.”
“What?” Monique said, shocked.
“Hell, yeah. That's two times now. The bitch is getting real comfortable.”
“Hmmm. Dink know Laci out there like that. She had to be trying to cop. He ain't gon' fuck up what y'all have for no crackhead. Then again, he was pushing up hard on her that day at your house. But she wasn't showin' him no kinda love. That was all on your man.”
“What?” Crystal got defensive. In her mind, Laci was at fault. She knew Dink would never play her like that.
“I'm just tellin' you what I saw.”
“Whatever, Monique. Listen, I'm tired of this sometimey shit. I'm with Tonette now. Either y'all bitches rollin' wit' us or not. And if you rollin' wit us, then you ain't in contact with her. Feel me?”
“Yeah,” Monique said in a whisper.
“So, you know what you gotta do then, right?”
“Yeah. I know what I gotta do.”
M
ARGARET GOT HOME
around three o'clock. By now Laci was fully awake, but not fully functioning. The phone had fucked up her rest with its ringing off the hook. The fucked-up part about it was that not one of the callers was Dink. Perhaps last night
was
just a dream.
Laci heard her mother enter the house. She took a deep breath and braced for the blow. She knew it would be only a matter of minutes before she'd come up to her room and begin her usual interrogation. Laci had succeeded in brushing her mother off, but this time she knew she had to come clean. She had promised Dink that she would. Still, she reconsidered telling her mother everything about a thousand times as she lay in bed, waiting for her to come and check on her. Fuck what she promised Dink. He promised that he would call and he hadn't. Besides, her body still wanted to get high. And if she told her mother, it would only make it more difficult to score and get what she needed.