CRASH: An Evil Dead MC Story (The Outlaw Series) (59 page)

“And?”

He shook his head. “He doesn’t want to give it another shot. He just
doesn’t want to take the chance of losing you all over again if things don’t
work out. Said he couldn’t stand to lose another person from his life.”

“So that’s it? There’s no chance?” Shannon’s eyes filled.

Cole lifted his hand slightly off the granite, palm up and shrugged.
“Babe, I’m not saying that. It’s just…it’s going to take
you
forcing the issue and being prepared for a fight. He’s not
gonna be receptive.” He paused, studying her. “You sure about this, Shannon?
Because I gotta say, some of the things Crash said hit home. You both come from
two very different worlds. Are you prepared to give all that up to be with him?
Because he’ll never fit in your world. You’re the one that’s going to have to
bend to fit into his. I’m trying to be as straight with you as I can, Shannon.
It’s as simple as that. And if you aren’t absolutely sure about wanting to be
with him, it’d be best if you just let him go now, because, darlin’, I believe
what he told me. He won’t survive losing you again.”

“I love him, Cole. I know maybe it’s crazy. Maybe the two of us don’t
look like we’d ever work, but I don’t care. I know he’s the one. There are a
lot of reasons why, maybe more than I even understand or can explain.”

“Give me one.”

“He makes me laugh. No one has ever made me laugh like him. I don’t want
to be without him in my life. All that ‘stuff’ I have, the cars, the clothes,
the money. It doesn’t mean a thing if he’s not with me. I’m truly happy when
he’s around. Like I’ve never been happy before.”

Cole studied her, weighing her words. “Shannon…”

“I found peace with Crash. With all the body guards in the world, I
never felt as safe as I felt with him. Please help me get him back.”

Cole’s eyes pierced hers. “Shannon, if you really love him, then I will.
Because I believe he needs you. And without you, he’s just…broken. It’s like…I
don’t know, have you ever seen the look in someone’s eyes when they’re lost?
That’s the look he has.”

“What should I do?” she asked him, wanting his opinion as a man. “What
would work?”

“Like I said, you’re gonna have to force the issue.”

“How do I do that? I can’t get him to even see me or talk to me.”

Cole considered a moment, then suggested, “There may be a way.”

Both Angel and Shannon looked at him questioningly.

“There’s one place he’s not gonna kick you out of.”

Shannon frowned. “Where?”

“His bed.”

After they worked out a plan, Angel stood at the window staring after
Shannon’s headlights going down the driveway. “What if that was us, baby? What
if we’d never worked it out?”

Cole heard her quietly whispered words. He moved to stand behind her,
wrapping his arms around her, and he whispered in her ear, “Without you, I’d be
lying face down in some river.”

“Honey.”

“Day I saw you coming down the driveway, running to me, jumpin’ in my
arms…”

She turned her head and pressed it against his neck, her throat closing
with the emotion of his words.

“Best day of my life, baby.”

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE

Crash walked into his loft. It was past midnight, and he was so
beat-down tired the feeling went all the way to his bones. On top of that, he
felt empty inside. But that was a feeling he was learning to live with, because
the hell of it was, it was never going to go away. He pulled his cut off and
hung it on one of the barstools. Next he yanked the shoulder holster off.
Moving to the fridge, he opened the door and stared inside. He stood there,
blankly staring, hearing the quiet stillness of his empty loft. He shut the door
and strode toward his bed, not even the late night pull of that lone smoke
enough to deter him from his bed.

He froze in the doorway.

What the fuck?

There was a shape lying in the bed. Even in the shadows, without the
light on, he could make out that it was a curvy woman. Unmoving. He took two
steps to the nightstand, his arm reaching out to switch on the lamp. Light
flooded the room.

Shannon. Asleep. In his bed. What the hell?

She was stretched out on her side on top of the cover, dressed in jeans
and a soft scooped necked tee. Her hands tucked under her cheek, she was fast
asleep. His eyes wandered over her. The dip of her waist. The curve of her hip.
Back up to her face. She looked serene lying there asleep. He was tempted to
put a knee to the bed and climb in beside her. The pull was strong. Clenching
his jaw, he resisted.

“Shannon!” he barked, and she jerked awake. Her sleepy eyes went to him,
and she sat up.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Crash.” Hearing his name on her lips, all soft and breathy like that
about killed him and drove his voice to a growl.

“Never mind. You know what, I don’t give a fuck. Just get yourself
gone.”

“Crash, please.” She reached out a hand. “Just talk with me.” He moved away,
to the foot of the massive bed.

“Get out, Shannon. I mean it. Get the fuck out.” He gestured toward the
door. Staring down at her when she didn’t move, he snapped, “Don’t make me say
shit I’ll regret, babe.”

“Just listen to me, please?”

“How the hell did you get in?”

She just stared at him nervously, obviously not wanting to tell him how
she got in. “Crash, please…”

“Never mind. I know. There’s only one other person with the passcode.”
He pulled out his phone, punched in some numbers and put it to his ear. “You
better get over here right now, and get her ass!”

“Do I need to bring a shovel?” Cole tried to joke with him.

“You will if you don’t get over here in five minutes.”

“Crash-”

“You pull a stunt like this again, and we are not brothers.” He
disconnected and pitched the phone on the dresser.

Across town, Angel watched Cole set his phone down on the nightstand.
“Are you going over there?”

Cole let out a snort. “Hell no.” He turned back to his wife and took her
in his arms.

Shannon followed Crash as he stalked into the living area. He reached
the island and whirled on her. “Why are you doing this?”

With no hesitation, she replied, “Because I need you, and because you
need me, too.”

“That’s not what you said before. What’s changed?”

“I’ve changed. You changed me.”

“Findin’ that hard to believe, Princess.”

“I needed saving, but, Crash, you need saving, too.”

“No, I don’t need shit. I’m fine.”

“You are so far from fine, you’re not even in the same zip code.” She
moved to him, her hands reaching out to cup his face.

He grabbed her wrists, holding her away. “Don’t!” he snapped. He felt
her try again, and he backed her up against the wall by the kitchen, pinning
her there.

“Crash, I love you.”

“Stop,” he growled.

“I love you,” she repeated stubbornly.

“Shut up or I swear to God…”

‘I love you.”

He put his fist through the drywall by her head. Shannon remained still.
He released her, backing up. Suddenly, he grabbed one of the barstools and
flung it across the concrete floor toward the elevator, where it clattered to a
stop. “I laid it all out for you, Shannon!” he roared. “I put it all out there,
and you walked. You walked, and I had to let you go. I had to wake up every day
without you. I can’t go through that again. I let go once. I can’t do it again.
I can’t lose another person in my life. I just can’t.”

“You won’t.”

He shook his head, not trusting it, not believing it. “We’re over,
Shannon.”

“We’re not over. We are never going to be over.” She approached him
slowly, took his hand and laid it on her chest over her heart. “Don’t you feel
that? Don’t you feel that all the way to your soul? There is no Shannon without
Crash, not anymore. Tell me there’s no Crash without Shannon.” When he didn’t
respond, she searched his eyes. “I can’t be alone in feeling this way. Some
part of you must feel it, too.”

He pulled his hand free, backing away. “You’re not hearing me, babe. I
want you gone.”

Her chin came up, and determination to fight for this, for him,
stiffened her spine. “What’s the thing you’re most afraid of?”

He let out a short laugh. “You know, when I saw where you lived, the
luxury you were raised in…” He shook his head. “It really became apparent how
jacked up it was to ever think we could’ve worked out.”

“That’s not true, Crash.”

He collapsed down on the sectional, suddenly drained and exhausted, the
desire to fight with her gone. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and
his hands folded.

Shannon stared at him. He looked lost and full of pain, and she wanted
to wash away all that hurt. “I was wrong, Crash. I messed up.”

“Naw, you weren’t, Princess. You were right.” He straightened, his palms
coming to his thighs. She knew in a moment he was going to stand up and walk
away.

Go to him.
The words
whispered through her brain.

She crossed the space to him and dropped to her knees between his spread
thighs. He reared back. Her hands slid up his chest, his throat and cupped his
face. “Yes, I was, baby. I was so wrong. It was a mistake to leave you. The
biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my whole life. But, I’m never going to make
that mistake again. I swear it to you.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

“I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

“I’m the one that’s got something to prove.”

“What’s that?”

“That I’m worth all that. You’d give up everything for me. How can I ever
be worth all that?”

“I’m nothing without you, baby. Nothing.”

“I know how you feel, then.”

Her coming to him like this, crossing the distance between them, it took
him by surprise. He was stunned speechless by her action, and yet completely
captured in her spell. It was exactly what he’d needed her to do, and he hadn’t
even known it. But she had, somehow she’d known. Thank God, she’d known.

She looked deeply into his eyes, his face held gently in her cupped
hands, and then her lips pressed to his. His arms went around her, crushing her
to him. He needed her so bad, and he couldn’t fight it anymore. He needed her
soft, woman’s touch to soothe away the hurt. To make it all better. He broke
the kiss off and buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent, nuzzling her
soft skin and silky hair.

He felt her soft mouth press against his neck, her hands slide free and
wrap around him, stroking his back, tenderly, soothingly, lovingly. God, he’d
missed this, his woman’s touch.

“I need you, Crash. I’m yours, don’t you see, I’ve always been yours.
Without you my life is empty, meaningless, dark. You’re my light. Please don’t
take that away from me.”

“Hush,” he whispered, holding her tight, like a lifeline. She was his
anchor, his strength. It was like there were two beings inside him. One, his
soul, who stood front and center now. Needing what she offered, soaking it in
like the first warm day of spring after a long cold winter. But it wasn’t long
before the other being inside him, the one that represented his body’s needs,
stepped up and shoved the other part of him to the side and demanded attention,
demanded its own needs be met.

He felt it take over him, and his arms tightened around her, bringing
her torso flush against his. His legs straightened as he stood, and her legs
locked around his waist as he stalked toward the bedroom carrying her in his
arms.

He could have just laid her out on the couch. It would have been quicker
and easier, but it had to be the bed. He needed her in his bed. After all the
nights he’d lain awake in that bed, remembering her scent on his sheets,
longing for her, wanting her there with him. It had to be the bed. He longed to
see her stretched across it again, just for him. Longed to look down at her as
she looked up at him with desire on her face.

He set her down on the edge, ordering, “Lie back.”

She did as he asked. Her arm lifted, reaching out to him, beckoning him.
“Crash, please.”

“Let me look at you, Princess.” His eyes moved over her, needing to see
the want in her eyes, the need in her face. It had a healing effect on him,
helping to pull him out of the darkness, even if he was afraid it would only
last a short time. “I’ve missed you here.”

“It’s where I belong. With you. Here. Or wherever you are, Crash. It
doesn’t matter. As long as we’re together.”

He pulled his shirt over his head and watched her eyes travel over him. Leaning
forward, his hands moved to her jeans, unfastening them and jerking them off, eyes
dropping down to the baby blue silk and lace panties. Sweet. Sexy. Beautiful.

He began unbuckling his belt, and he saw her eyes drop, watching his
hands. Her tongue slid out to wet her lips, and he felt a responsive jerk in
his dick.

“Crash, hurry. Please.”

He lifted his chin toward her. “Take off your shirt.” His jeans hit the
floor as she pulled her top up and over her head. His eyes feasted on the
matching pale blue bra. She was stunning. Her chest rose and fell with her
rapid breathing. His palms skated along the silky skin of her long legs, moving
up to her hips. His fingers curled around the fabric of her panties, and he
pulled them slowly down her legs, tossing them to the floor.

He came down on top of her, his palm sliding up her arm to her shoulder,
then down over her lace covered breast, his eyes following. He slid his hand
around her ribs to her back. She arched, giving him room as he flicked open the
clasp of her bra. His hand came up, his thumb hooking in the strap at her
shoulder, and he pulled it down, taking his sweet time. Stretching the moment
out, wanting to savor every second. An unwelcome thought floated through his
head like a wisp of smoke and left him wondering if this could be the last time
they ever did this. A part of him was still not sure he could let her in, not
completely.

He smiled to himself at the irony. Perhaps he was the one who was
building walls now.

Her bra slid free, and he tossed it aside, his eyes taking in her
beauty. He pressed his mouth to her upper belly, below her breasts and trailed
soft kisses in a line up between them, and then he moved, his mouth coming down
on her nipple, closing, latching on and pulling hard.

Shannon arched off the bed with the sensation. Her fingers threaded
through his hair, loving the feel of his mouth on her, pulling him closer. She
felt his thigh move over her leg, his knee pushing her legs apart.

“Open for me, baby.”

She did as he ordered a moment before his hips settled in the cradle of
her thighs. Oh, God. That’s where he belonged. Her legs wrapped around him, and
she moaned.

Her hands slid to his face, cupping his jaw and pulling his face to
hers, her mouth opening for his kiss. His tongue plundered inside as he gripped
her face, holding her still as he took control of the kiss.

She lifted her hips, rolling him to his back and crawling on top of him.
Lifting up off him, to sit splayed across his hips, she rose up and ran her
hands over his abs. “I fell, Crash. I fell hard for you.”

His hands slid to her waist, holding her. “I feel guilty.”

“Why?” She frowned down at him.

“Because loving you means dragging you into this life I lead. I
shouldn’t do that. I should want better for you.”

“You are that, Crash. You are what’s better for me.”

“How? How can I possibly be what’s best for you?” He shook his head,
refusing to believe her words. “Look at me. Look at what you’re getting.”

“I am looking. I see exactly who you are, Crash. And you
are
what’s best for me. You’re the love
of my life. I feel it in my soul.”

He let out a short laugh and studied her for a long moment, before
finally conceding, “When love comes along, sometimes it whispers in your ear,
and sometimes it slams you up against the wall.” He smiled. “This is one
dysfunctional love story, Princess.”