Crave Me (The Good Ol' Boys #4) (44 page)

“You ready?” my assistant asked, grabbing the last few things off my table at the signing.

“Yeah, give me a second,” I replied, grabbing my bag from under the table. “Shit. It’s stuck on something. You can go, Avery. I can catch a cab. Thanks so much for all your help today. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay. Everything is set with the bookstore, you’re free to go.”

“Awesome. Thanks again.”

She waved, turned, and left. I looked under the table, not seeing what my bag was actually stuck on. I crouched down and crawled under the cloth, until I was fully underneath.

“There! You stupid dick of a table leg,” I grunted, pulling as hard as I could to no avail. “Damn it!”

I tried to scoot the leg over, but it was no use, the damn thing was too heavy. I pulled on my bag some more, cussing up a storm, getting pissed it wouldn’t budge. All of the sudden it lifted on it’s own, and I quickly pulled out the strap that was stuck.

“Finally!”

The leg was set back down, and I immediately heard something placed on top of the table above me. I shimmied backwards, trying to get the chair beneath my ass, to sit back up. I ended up hitting my head in the process.

“Shit! Ow!” I yelped, scooting some more to clear the edge of the table. “Motherfucker, that hurt.”

I rubbed the bump on my head, still peering down at my lap as I sat back on the chair. The object that was set on the table caught my eye. It was then that I remembered somebody helped me by lifting the table, so I could get my bag out.

I turned my head slightly. “Thank you so—” I stopped breathing.

Sitting on the table was the original hardback copy of
Crave Me
. My book. There was only one person that would have that copy. I didn’t have to look up to know who was standing in front of me. My heart pounded out of my chest, and I swear it echoed in the corner of the room.

How after all these years did he still have this effect on me?

I took a few deep breaths, trying to steady my thoughts. I felt him place his hand on top of mine. Soothing the bump on my head that suddenly seemed miniscule, compared to the emotions that were coursing through me.

“You alright?” he said with the same southern drawl that I still dreamt about after all this time.

He haunted my dreams almost every night.

“I don’t know,” I blurted.

He chuckled, moving my hand, and leaning over the table.

“Let me take a look.”

I shut my eyes, feeling the simple touch of his hands on my head. Everywhere. All consuming. He let his hands linger for what felt like forever, but I knew it was only seconds. I instantly missed his touch, his warmth when he backed away.

“You’re going to have a nasty bump. Best if you get some ice on that when you get home.”

I nodded not being able to form words. I was as nervous as I was the first time I met him. For some reason, it felt like I was about to see him for the first time, and that confused the hell out of me. I knew everything about this man.

I had seen him at his best, and at his worst.

I took a deep breath, opening my eyes and locking gazes with him for the first time in over three years. He looked better than I remembered. He was definitely one of those men that got better with age. He was wearing a white tight shirt that emphasized every last muscle on his solid chest and firm arms, like he lived at the gym again. His tattoos only accenting his bad boy facade, I-don’t-give-a-fuck kind of look that only Austin could ever pull off.

“Hey, Daisy,” he greeted, bringing me back to the present.

Taking me in as much as I was taking him in.

His blue eyes that I hadn’t seen in God knows how long were bright and shining. With a hint of mischievousness in them, gazing at my once again vibrant purple hair. With a predatory regard, he eyed me everywhere, as if he couldn’t decide where he wanted to look at me the most.

“You still take my goddamn breath away,” he rasped, barely above a whisper.

I blushed, peering back down at the book. Breaking our heated connection.

“I see you read it,” I spoke, looking at the worn binding and pages.

“I more than read it. I lived it.”

We locked eyes again.

“Seeing it through your eyes though,” he paused, slightly shaking his head, “was like experiencing it for the first time,” he admitted with so much sadness in his tone. My eyes began to fill with tears.

“It was a long time ago, Austin. I’m not that person anymore, and from the looks of it… you’re not either.”

“You’ll always be my Daisy. My girl with the tattoos and purple hair,” he said, reaching for a lose strand, twirling it around.

I smiled. I couldn’t help it.

“You look good.”

“You look beautiful.”

I chuckled, smiling wider. He immediately caught my expression in the air and placed it near his heart. Causing my stomach to flutter.

“Why are you here, Austin?”

“For you,” he simply stated.

I swallowed hard. Trying like hell to govern my breathing.

“I’d love for you to sign my book. In fact, it would mean the world to me.”

I grinned, grabbing a pen from my bag. He handed me the book, holding onto it for a second longer, grinning.

I opened it up to the title page and signed, “Your best friend, Daisy.”

He laughed as I handed it back to him.

“Can I buy you lunch?”

I hesitated, and he noticed.

“We’re best friends, remember?”

I scoffed out a laugh. “Only if I get to choose the place.”

“Baby, I’d follow you anywhere.”

“Still quite the charmer I see.”

“Only with you.” He grabbed the heavy bag off my shoulder. “Lead the way.”

“I actually came with my assistant. I was going to take a cab home. I don’t live far from here.”

“You’re in Oak Island,” he stated, confused.

I nodded, not elaborating.

“Well then I guess I’ll be driving, Miss Daisy.”

I laughed again. Damn I missed him. I hadn’t laughed or smiled this much in years. He always brought out the best in me.

We drove in silence on the way to the restaurant up the road. Music played just above a whisper. It was a small diner but it was on the beach, and I loved going there with my computer to write. Something about the sound of the waves and the ocean breeze, took me away to another place and time.

I could sense that Austin wanted to reach over and grab my hand like he used to every time we were in the car together. His thumb tapped on the steering wheel instead, while a cigarette was placed in his other hand that was hanging out the window.

His eyes remained on the road ahead, blowing out the smoke from his lungs through the corner of his mouth. The furthest away from me.

Making me smile from the memory of it all.

Him.

Before I knew it we were being seated out on the beach patio of the restaurant. The sun was shining bright, highlighting the red in Austin’s hair.   

“Thank you,” I told the waitress after ordering my food.

She nodded and left.

“How have you been?” He was the first to break the silence.

“Really good, Austin. The best I’ve been in a long time, actually.”

He sadly smiled, looking out toward the water.

Not faltering, he stated, “I’m glad Esteban makes you so happy, Briggs. Even if it’s at my expense. You deserve all the happiness in the world. To be treated the way you always deserved.”

It broke my heart a little to hear him say that.

I cleared my throat, bringing his sudden solemn expression back to me.

“I’m not with Esteban.”

His eyebrows rose, taking in what I just shared.

“I haven’t been with him in almost a year-and-a-half. We’re still good friends. It was a mutual decision. It seemed like a good idea in theory, you know trying something else. After Esteban and I ran into each other, I changed my hair back to its original color. I covered my tattoos with clothing I would have never worn before. A part of me wanted to try to be the girl I was before my parents died. The Daisy I thought I was supposed to be. I thought I was happy, and in a way I was. But being comfortable isn’t being happy. I confused the two. He was good to me, and I knew him. I was hurting, and he was the perfect distraction. As much as I hate to admit it, I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Did you love him?” he asked, his stare not wavering from mine.

“No, Austin. Don’t get me wrong, I love him, but I was never in love with him. He knew it. It’s probably why he traveled so much. It was easier that way. He will find the right girl one day. It’s just not me. We sold the house after we broke up, and I started traveling all over for signings. I lived in and out of hotels for a good year, finding my independence for the first time in my life. It was good for me, to find myself. I dyed my hair back, and started dressing like I always had. This is who I am. This is the real Daisy. I bought a house in Oak Island a few months ago. It’s my home. You’re home has always felt like my home. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.”

I couldn’t believe I just shared all of that with him, but Austin always had a way of making me feel comfortable in my own skin. It was easy to pour my heart out to him. He always made me feel like it was okay to share my thoughts and emotions with him like we had known each other for several lifetimes. Even then, after everything we had been through, it felt normal to tell him all that as if no time had passed between us at all.

No sad stories.

At least not anymore.

I took in every word she said, trying to keep my emotions in check. When all I wanted to do was reach across the fucking table, and pull her into my arms. Hold her for as long as I could. Never letting her go.

She was single.

She was still mine.

“How about you? Hmmm? You seeing anyone?” she questioned, biting on her lip like she did when she was nervous.

I didn’t hesitate. “I haven’t been with anyone since you, baby.” I told her the honest-to-God truth, needing her to know that there was no one else for me, but her. “I had every intention of reading ‘our story’ when Alex gave it to me. It was the same day I received my six-month sobriety chip. I tried to read it every day since then, but I wasn’t ready to relive the past, when my future was finally full of possibilities. Up until three months ago, the book sat on my nightstand. When I finally decided to read it, I devoured the entire thing in one sitting. Staying up all night until I’d finished it. After that day, I read it again and again and again. You are so fucking talented.”

Her eyes showed more emotion than I had seen in a long time. Her bright blue gaze intently focused on what I was saying. I leaned across the table, needing to feel close to her. Reaching for her hands to hold them in mine.

I recited from her book, “Have you ever met someone that you felt like you already knew with every fiber of your being? Knowing it was physically impossible, knowing it was the first time you had ever laid eyes on him, knowing that he was a complete and utter stranger. But, feeling it in your heart, in your mind, and in your soul that this person was a part of you. Someone you possibly met in a previous life, someone who may have meant something to you. I locked eyes with the guy across the room and a sense of deja vu hit me, I felt like I had seen him before, his presence was comforting and intriguing, although in my head I knew he was a complete stranger. I felt a pull towards him, like he was a piece of a puzzle that was missing from my life. I knew something was brewing. Something big. Important. Life-changing. The way he looked at me, consumed me in ways I never thought possible. There was a predatory, yet captivating glare in his eyes. As if I was the answer to every question he ever had.”

Her eyes widened in disbelief, tears pooling immediately.

“I felt every single one of those things you described in our love story, Daisy. Every last one of them. And yes, the second I laid eyes on you… you answered every question I ever had.”

Tears fell from her eyes, and I squeezed her hand in comfort. Wanting to hold her anyway I could. I reached across the table, rubbing her tear-stained cheek with my thumb.

“I need to make amends with you. I can’t pass my ninth step in my recovery until I do. I know I’ve said this to you a hundreds, thousands, possibly millions of times, but from the bottom of my fucking heart and soul, baby, I am so sorry. I needed to forgive myself from the guilt of everything I did to you. To my family, my friends, the car accident. Before I could love myself. Before I could feel whole again. I’m not asking for you to forget, I’m begging you to forgive.”

She sniffled. “I forgave you a long time ago, Austin. I forgave you the moment I left your hospital room.”

“I know it’s going to take time for you to trust me again. Fuck… it’s taken almost three years for me to trust myself again. But I need you in my life.”

“Austin, I—”

“I’m not saying we go back to being what we were. I don’t want to go back to the past. I want to move forward in the future with you. I want to be your best friend, Daisy. I miss your friendship more than anything in this world. Your love, your kindness, your smile, your laugh. Us. I miss hearing your voice, even your snoring,” I chuckled.

“I don’t snore. I have allergies,” she giggled, sniffling again.

And it was still the sweetest sound I’d ever heard.

“Your allergies then. I miss those too. I just… I. Miss. You. If we could be friends again. Start from the beginning with a clean slate. If we could start in a new place, find our way back to whatever we’re supposed to be to each other. I know in my heart, as well as in my mind, body, and soul that you’re meant to be in my life one way or another. And you know that too. You wouldn’t have written it, if you didn’t.”

She took a deep breath. I wasn’t surprised in the least that she was hesitating. I couldn’t blame her after everything I’d put her through. The emotional roller-coaster ride that was never-ending, all-consuming, held her hostage for years and years.

“Let’s eat lunch, and then I’d like to show you something. Can we do that?”

She nodded, pulling her hands away.

We ate in comfortable silence both of us lost in our thoughts. Our plaguing emotions swirled all around us. I paid the bill and we walked out to my car. Once again driving in silence, I found myself reaching over the center console for her hand, kissing it before placing it in my lap. To my surprise, she let me. I couldn’t fucking help myself, I needed to feel her.

As soon as I drove into my neighborhood, she knew where I was going. From the corner of my eye, I caught her trying to hide a grin when she looked out the window. Parking my car in the garage we made our way into my house.

The home I purchased with a family in mind.

The same one I wanted with her.

Only her.

She slowly stepped inside through the garage door, immediately taking in all her surroundings from the kitchen to the dining room. Walking straight to the sliding glass door to gaze out at the dock she loved so much. Knowing she had already left a piece of her soul on the wooden planks. I watched her move to the living room, her fingers lightly skimming my furniture. Admiring the pictures on the walls and the shelves.

“This isn’t what I wanted to show you,” I stated, grabbing her hand.

I led her to the guesthouse I had built specially for her after I read her book. She peered around the spacious open room that I’d made into her office. It was a private writing space with huge bay windows that overlooked our dock and the water. She took in every last picture of all our happy memories throughout the years that were scattered all over the walls. She walked over to the reading chair in the corner and picked up her memory blanket that I’d given to her for her birthday a long time ago. She left it behind. I had it with me always. She brought it up to her cheek, snuggling into it as her eyes began to water. Placing it back on the chair, she continued over to the bookshelf that held all of her books that she’d also left behind. I pulled every last one of them out of storage.

“I made Lucas’ company build this room for you after I read your book. I wanted you to have a happy place at my home,” I informed, gazing at her as she continued to explore the room with her hand over her heart.  

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw what I really wanted her to see. I came up behind her, close enough to where she could feel my warmth, love, and devotion for her.

“See, baby, you’ve always been with me. Even when you weren’t,” I murmured into her ear as she stared at the Twilight Sparkle Briggs doll sitting on the shelf with a picture of us beside it.

Her hand went over her mouth as fresh tears erupted.

“I bought her on my way to rehab. I never needed you more than I did back then. I prayed that she could make me as happy as it made you the last time you were holding her. Hoping that maybe one day you could hold her again, knowing that this time she was yours. And you were going to be happy, forever. With me.”

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

I turned her to face me, and there were tears streaming down her beautiful face. I resisted the urge to kiss them all away, so I wiped them away instead. She looked deep into my eyes, searching for something I hope she’d find.

“Okay,” she whispered.

I pulled away her hair, caressing her cheek with my thumb.

“Okay, what, baby?”

“Okay, we can try to be friends again.”

I smiled, pulling her into my arms. Feeling her against me for the first time in over three years was like coming home. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me in the exact same way. My girl was in my arms again. Where she belonged. I would prove myself worthy of her love and trust. I didn’t care if it took the rest of my life.

She was mine.

There wasn’t a chance in hell that I was ever going to let her go. I loved her too fucking much.