Craving Him (3 page)

Emmy

Ben lived in a historic district in the city with rows of beautifully ornate Victorian homes that had long ago been split into apartments. His was in a quaint redbrick building with a doorman and a red carpet on the sidewalk leading into the foyer. It was very classy and felt safe in an upscale area popular with small families and wealthy bachelors. It suited him perfectly.

We thanked Henry and greeted the night doorman before heading for the elevator.

Once we reached Ben’s apartment he tugged me inside, not bothering to turn on the lights. He pressed my back against the wall and lowered his mouth to mine. The moonlight drifting in through the big picture windows and Ben’s muscular body pressing into mine caused a moan to escape my throat. He deepened the kiss, his tongue stroking mine so hypnotically. His hips pressed forward, pinning me against the wall, and his hands roamed down my sides, gliding over my hips.

“Fuck, baby, are you trying to kill me with these leggings?”

I didn’t know he’d find my leggings sexy, I’d just wanted to be comfortable and cozy.

“See what you do to me?” Ben took my hand and pressed it into his pants-covered erection.

Holy hell.
That thing was ready to burst through his zipper. That had to be painful.

“Turn around, let me see your ass.” His hands captured my hips and he spun me around.

My cheeks blossomed in heat. I’d forgotten how direct he was, and how hot I found that. He turned me into a horny mess with a single statement. Waiting and going slow was going to be harder than I ever imagined.

He filled his hands with my backside and released a strangled groan. “This ass is mine.” He pushed my sweater up out of the way and slowly peeled the leggings down over my bottom and thighs. He pressed a kiss to each cheek then spun me around to face him.

Still planted on his knees, Ben looked up at me, his eyes dark with desire. “Can I taste you, baby?”

I nodded, silently.

He pressed damp kisses along my inner thigh, his breath tickling me and making me squirm. His hands captured my hips so he could hold me in place while he slowly tortured me. Soft, tender lips tenderly caressed my thighs as he moved closer to my center. No way was I fighting this. I could already feel myself getting wet and he’d hardly touched me. Removing his hands from my hips, Ben pulled my panties down my legs, leaving them at my calves. I was still wearing my boots so this would have to do. He pressed forward, lightly kissing the top of my pubic bone.

Seeing Ben on his knees before me, worshipping my lady parts, was the most glorious sight in the world. I planted a hand in his dark hair and let out a breathy cry. “Bennn . . .”

His mouth covered me, greedily licking my folds, finding my clit and stroking it again and again in a brutal rhythm.

Holy crap!

My knees buckled and I nearly collapsed, but Ben caught me before I ended up in a tangled heap on the floor. Good thing, too, because I was sure to look like a moron with my panties and leggings shoved around my ankles. He lifted me into his arms and carried me to his bed, depositing me safely on the edge. He helped me remove my boots, pulling them off one by one and letting them drop to the floor with a thud.

I knew I’d told him we needed to slow our physical relationship—and I’d meant it—but in this moment slowing down was the last thing I wanted.

I helped him remove my clothing, kicking my panties from my legs in the most unladylike fashion.

Ben chuckled softly. It was obvious how needy I was for his touch. “Take this off, baby.”

I raised my arms to allow him to pull the sweater over my head.

Once he’d stripped me naked, he resumed kissing my thighs, working his way toward my center, but my hand on his shoulder stopped his progression.

“Ben . . . your clothes, too . . . off,” I murmured, disoriented.

“Baby, if I get naked with you, I don’t know how far things might go and I don’t want to push you.”

I didn’t care about him having restraint just then. The idea of having to use condoms didn’t stab at my heart the way it had the other day. “Take them off.”

Ben stood next to the bed, quickly shedding his clothes into a pile on the floor.

Standing in front of me, so tall and strong, Ben’s body provided an amazing view. His manhood was heavy and long and standing at attention for me. I reached out, wrapping my hand around him. His cock was so warm against my palm and I stroked him slowly from base to tip, loving the solid feel of him. He was so thick that my fingers didn’t completely close around him.

A shuddering breath hitched in his throat. “Shit, baby, watching your little hand trying to jerk me off is the hottest thing ever.”

I added a second hand, pumping him firmly. I wanted to make him feel good, to be consumed with desire for me.

He groaned when my hands moved together over his sensitive head. “Ah, fuck baby.” His entire body tightened, his abdominal muscles contracting deliciously. His hand caught mine. “You gotta stop. You’re going to make me come.”

I looked up at him in wonder. He was truly so beautiful. “You don’t want to?”

“Not tonight. We’re going slow, remember?”

I nodded obediently. Me and my dumb rules. “But won’t you be, um, uncomfortable later?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it later. All I want to do is get you off. That’s it.” He leaned down and kissed my mouth. “No sex. And you don’t even have to touch me.”

I pouted, my bottom lip jutting out. “But what if I want to?” I whimpered. I reached for his thick erection again but Ben’s hand caught my wrist.

“No. This time’s all about you.” Ben gently shoved my shoulders back and I fell against the bed.

I was still soaking wet from his earlier attention, and Ben wasted no time rubbing my slickened sex. His index finger made slow, sweeping circles around my folds.

I whimpered when his finger finally made contact with my clit.

“That feel good, honey?” He pressed a kiss to the inside of my thigh. “Tell me, baby. Tell me this is what you want.”

“Yes, Ben, that feels good,” I panted, reaching for his length. “But I want you . . .”

He slid a finger inside me. “Not tonight. We’re waiting, remember?” His cocky grin begged me to disagree.

I moaned, both from frustration and pleasure.

Ben sunk to the bed, bringing his mouth in line with my navel, and slowly dragged his tongue down. I lifted my hips in the hopes of getting more contact with the glorious friction of his tongue. But he moved slowly, unrushed, gently kissing and nibbling my tummy.

Finally he settled where I needed him and kissed me tenderly, his warm mouth covering me. Within just moments of his skillful tongue sliding against me, I was done, finished, completely and utterly devastated. I came apart, loudly moaning his name.

Afterward, Ben tucked me in against his side, cocooning his body around mine, and held me while the aftershocks of my release pulsed through my body. I couldn’t help but notice he was still rock hard, but he didn’t complain. He seemed to have just what he wanted: me in his bed, wrapped up tightly in his arms.

3

Ben

I let Emmy sleep in while I prepared coffee, toasted bagels, and sliced some fruit. Perfectly timed, my beautiful girl came strolling out of the bedroom thirty minutes later. Just the sight of her, sleepy and walking toward me barefoot across my space, made my heart pump faster. She meant everything to me and I’d never risk losing her again.

Her hair was mussed, tangled, and sticking up in odd directions and she was dressed in a pair of my boxer briefs, which hung off her hips in a really sexy way, and an old tank top of mine I used for working out. She looked so fuckable. I wanted to tear the boxers down her legs and take her on the kitchen counter.

Fuck
.

“Morning.” My voice came out strangled. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she returned, her voice whisper soft.

“Would you like some coffee?”

She nodded.

I poured her a mug of coffee and Emmy grabbed some plates for our breakfast. I liked being side by side with her in my kitchen. It felt very natural. I had my other half back.

“Do you have plans tonight?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I was just planning on looking for more jobs to apply to.”

“I was wondering if you’d come to an industry thing with me tonight.”

“An industry thing?”

“Yeah, it’s like a cocktail mixer for designers, photographers, and models. I should probably go for a little bit and I was hoping you’d be free to come with me.”

Emmy placed some sliced berries on her plate, keeping her eyes down. “Will Fiona be there?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Oh.” She dropped her chin to her chest.

“Hey.” I set the carton of milk on the counter and stepped closer, tipping her chin up to meet my eyes. “We’re not going to hide what we have from her. We have no reason to tiptoe around her.”

She inhaled deeply. “You’re right. It’ll just be hard. I haven’t seen her since . . . you know, everything went down. . . .”

“I know. But I’ll be right by your side the whole night. Braydon will be there, too. We could even invite Ellie, make a night of it. It could be fun.”

She nodded, a little smile curling her mouth. “Yeah, okay. I’ll ask Ellie about it. We usually don’t do much besides catch up on TV shows on Sunday night anyways.”

“Come here.” I opened my arms and Emmy willingly walked into them. Pulling her against my chest, I hated the way her mouth had pressed into a firm line at the mention of Fiona’s name. I wanted to take away all her painful memories and make new ones that made her smile. “You sleep okay?” I wanted to get back to a lighter mood between us. Things had been too tense lately.

She nodded, wrapping her arms around my waist. It was no coincidence that I’d left my shirt off. I wasn’t going to pressure her into sex, but hell, I was still a guy and the idea of tempting her a bit was just too much to pass up. Her little hands skittered up my sides over my ribs. Then her fingers dug in and twisted, tickling me.

“Ah! Hey now . . .” I stepped back out of her reach. The little brat.

She laughed softly. “I wanted to see if you were ticklish.”

“Yeah?” I stepped in closer, narrowing my eyes. “You sure you want to get into a tickle war with me?” I crackled my knuckles. “Because I can be ruthless, baby.”

Emmy lifted an arched brow and took a step back. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh I would.” I stepped closer to her then stopped myself. “I’ll give you a head start.” My eyes flicked to the bedroom then back to her, mischievously. Emmy took off running. Her ass looked so fucking cute, filling out the boxers in a way I never would.

Sprinting to the bedroom, I found her perched on the bed resting on her knees, pillow in hand like she was ready for battle. I liked seeing her playful side. As soon as I got close enough,
whump
, she hit me square in the chest with the pillow.

“Uh-oh, someone’s being a naughty girl.” I reached out to remove the weapon from her hand. “Let’s just place this over here.” I dropped the pillow to the floor beside the bed and climbed toward her like a cheetah stalking a gazelle. A sexy fucking gazelle. That I wanted to nail. Badly.

Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip again and she watched me approach.

In a single quick maneuver, I had her on her back. I pinned her wrists above her head, my body holding hers hostage with my weight on top of her.

Emmy, now restrained against the bed, only had the use of her legs. She wrapped those around my hips, tugging against me. “You think that’s going to help you get away?” I whispered.

She pulled in a shuddering breath, growing quiet. Her eyes were huge, watching mine, waiting to see what I’d do.

The feel of her body struggling against mine, her soft breath tickling my neck, her hips bucking underneath me . . .
shit
. I was hard. And the thin athletic shorts provided very little in the way of a barrier. Her body froze midstruggle as awareness hit her. The entire mood of our playful wrestling match changed in an instant.

My erection nudged at her center.

Emmy whimpered.

Fuck, so this little thing liked being restrained. That information was not helping. I needed to keep my mind out of the damn gutter.

Emmy pressed her hips up, grinding against my dick. Fuck, that felt good. I needed to explain to him that he couldn’t go in there. In that warm, tight channel . . . yeah, thinking about it was so not helping. I held my breath, waiting for the sensation to pass. I counted backward from ten. I thought about sports, math equations, world hunger . . . yeah, nothing was going to help this monster of an erection. I wanted her. Bad.

I imagined ripping off her shorts then pushing down my own and sinking into her. Right here, right now. I’d fuck her slowly, holding her wrists in my hands. I’d fuck her until she was moaning out my name. My cock twitched in my shorts.
Shit
. It was either fuck her senseless or walk away. I couldn’t take this torture.

“I’m going to, um, shower. Then I’ll drive you home.”

She nodded, wordlessly, her breath coming in little gasps.

And I was going to jerk off in the shower, too, but she didn’t need to know that part.

4

Emmy

When the car was just around the corner, Ben sent me a warning text that he was almost here. I called out to Ellie, who was still in her room getting ready.

“I just need two minutes!” she called back.

I shoved my feet into the beautiful black Christian Louboutin platform heels that Ben had given to me in Paris. I loved these shoes. I felt sexy anytime I was wearing them. My deep purple dress was modest, falling to the knee with a bisecting cut on top that showed just a small peek of cleavage.

I looked out the window and saw a long black stretch limo rolling to a stop at the curb in front of the building. “They’re here, Ellie.” I added my long, black trench coat, shrugging it on over my dress. There was no getting around the fact that winter was almost here, and I’d choose warmth over sexiness every time. Hopefully the event had a coat check.

“I’m ready.” Ellie sauntered from her bedroom in a pretty dark-gray dress that looked soft and black suede wedges. Her hair was twisted up in a sleek bun and she’d ditched the glasses for contacts. Her lips were stained a dark berry color. She looked incredible.

“Wow. You look great.”

She shrugged into her coat. “Thanks. You look stunning.” Her eyes roamed my ensemble.

Once we reached the curb, Ben climbed out and held open the door. His heated gaze caressed my curves. “Hi, baby,” he whispered, low enough for only me to hear. He looked so handsome in his black tailored suit, white shirt, and dark-gray tie.

Ellie climbed inside the limo and I scooted in next to her.

“Bray!” I hadn’t known that he’d be riding with Ben. I thought we’d meet him there.

“Hi, jellybean.” Braydon smiled at me warmly. “You look good enough to eat.”

Ben settled in beside me and narrowed his eyes, shooting Bray a death glare. I knew Ben didn’t like thinking about me with Braydon any more than I liked thinking about him with Fiona.

“Oh boy, this douche canoe again. . . .” Ellie muttered under her breath.

I bit my cheek to keep from smiling. She often made up her own words to describe things and apparently the sight of Braydon inspired his own neologism. Impressive considering we hadn’t even had a drink yet.

“Yesss . . . the firecracker! Elizabeth, right?” Braydon grinned widely.

“Ellie,” she reminded him.

Ben handed me and Ellie glasses of champagne. He and Braydon had already mixed some cocktails.

It felt a little strange to be sharing a limo with Ben and Braydon, knowing what had happened the last time the three of us were together, but I tried to push it from my mind.

“How do you two know each other?” Ellie asked, glancing in my direction.

“I met Braydon in Paris. He’s a friend of Ben’s.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

She pursed her lips and nodded. Ben wasn’t exactly her favorite topic right now. I knew she was afraid of me getting hurt.

“So what do you do for a living?” Ellie asked Braydon.

I thought she knew Bray was a model, or maybe she was just trying to make polite conversation.

“Gynecologist,” he answered with a completely straight face. “You?”

“Proctologist,” Ellie returned, meeting his gaze without so much as blinking.

“Sweet. If I ever need my ass looked at, I know who to call.”

She frowned. “I’m not taking on new clients.”

“That’s a damn shame. If you need me to examine you, just let me know. I’m extremely gentle. Vaginas love me and I always ensure a happy ending.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, scoffing loudly, while I giggled into my hand.

Ben and I watched their back-and-forth like a game of Ping-Pong. Wow. These two were all intense stares and biting tones. I wasn’t sure if it was a dry-sarcastic way of flirting or if Ellie truly wasn’t a fan. But they were rather amusing to watch. Ben and I stayed glued to their heated exchange throughout the ride.

When we reached the art gallery my nerves went haywire. I didn’t know how I’d handle seeing Fiona live and in person. I hoped I didn’t flip out. Ben helped me from the car, resting his hand on my lower back as he guided me to the entrance.

Once Ellie and I had checked our coats and I tucked the coat-check ticket into my purse, we followed Ben and Bray to the bar to grab a drink. A drink was exactly what I needed in my trembling hands.

The art gallery was a small, intimate gathering. About fifty people mingled, talking and drinking in a narrow room hung with bright colorful paintings on the otherwise white walls.

I clutched the stem of the glass of champagne so hard I thought it might snap off in my hand. I was wound impossibly tight at the prospect of spotting Fiona, laughing and mingling in the crowd. If she approached Ben and tried to air-kiss his cheeks or clutch onto his bicep like she used to, I might lose it. I wondered if it was a felony to attack a pregnant woman. Perhaps if I just explained to the police officer what a megabitch she was, any and all crimes would be pardoned.

Ben, reading my tense posture, guided our group over to a less crowded corner of the gallery.

“Emmy? You okay, sweetie?” Ellie gave me a concerned look.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do if I have to face Fiona,” I admitted. Ben caught my eyes and frowned but stayed quiet.

Ellie raised her hand, catching the attention of the waiter circulating with a silver tray of champagne glasses and waved him over to us. “You got anything stronger back at the bar?” she asked.

He nodded. “I think so.”

She pulled a crisp fifty-dollar bill from her wristlet. “Here’s your tip. Keep them coming.”

The waiter arrived with two Jack and Cokes. Ellie handed me both. “Thanks.”

I focused on sucking down the refreshing cocktail through the little straw and let my eyes wander the room. I was grateful at least to be surrounded by Ben, Braydon, and Ellie, who all seemed to be understanding.

After I’d finished my first cocktail, I saw someone trying to catch Ben’s attention. “Will you be okay for a bit? There’s a few people I need to go talk to,” Ben said.

“Of course. I’ll stay with Ellie.” I knew he was here for work, and I didn’t want my insecurities to keep him from doing his job and making the connections he needed.

I watched Ben mingle with a group of men on the far side of the room. I didn’t know who they were but they looked like arty types—photographers, designers, and such. Feeling a little more confident, my gaze wandered. The moment I spotted her, it was like all the air was sucked from the room. I hadn’t been prepared that she’d actually look pregnant, or that she’d have the cutest baby bump ever. My knees locked together and I struggled to remain standing. I pulled in a deep, shaky breath.

Fiona was glowing, her skin was radiant, and her bright, white smile gleamed as she chatted casually with the man beside her. She was dressed in a pretty black dress, her little belly protruding in a barely there round bump, and soft waves of perfectly styled hair flowed over her shoulders. A pair of leopard-print ballet flats completed the look. She’d apparently given up her sky-high heels she normally wore for something more modest.

“You okay?” Ben approached me from behind, pulling my attention away from Fiona. His hand came to a rest against my spine, like he knew I’d need the physical support.

I swallowed a mouthful of bitter saliva. “Another drink. Get me another drink,” I bit out.

He signaled the poor waiter, who was earning every last bit of that tip, and moments later I had a fresh Jack and Coke in my hand. I sucked it down greedily.

Fiona’s hand rested against her belly as she circulated the room and chatted with various industry people. Her eyes had wandered to Ben and me once, and he’d placed his arm protectively around my waist, pulling me closer. Fiona had kept going right on past us. I was glad I didn’t have to speak to her but even seeing her made me sick.

Several drinks later, I was clutching Ben’s arm just to keep vertical. He tipped my chin up to meet his eyes. His worried gaze locked on mine and I could see him mentally calculating how many drinks I’d had. “You ready for me to take you home, baby?”

I nodded, drunkenly. “Yeah. I’m just going to go to the bathroom.”

Ben motioned for Ellie to take me, and after linking her arm through mine we headed through the gallery, thankfully without spotting Fiona on the way.

Ellie and I each slipped inside a stall and went about our business. But when I emerged, Fiona was standing at the sink inspecting her makeup.

Shit.

I took a deep breath and calmly approached the sink next to her and began soaping my hands. Maybe all that alcohol wasn’t the best idea. My stomach was churning violently and I felt woozy and disoriented under the harsh fluorescent lighting. I watched in silence as Fiona reapplied berry-red lipstick to her perfect pout.

I rinsed the suds from my hands and found my reflection in the mirror. In contrast to Fiona’s perfectly put-together appearance I was pale and . . . drunk looking.

Just great.

“It’s a nice event, isn’t it?” I attempted politeness, breaking the stony silence between us.

She shrugged, recapping her tube of lipstick and dropping it inside her tiny purse. “I was surprised to see you here, actually. Ben hadn’t said anything about you two being back together.”

Her words stung, I couldn’t lie. Ben should have told her to go to hell and that I was the love of his life. Why hadn’t he? While I was still rendered speechless, Fiona turned to face me.
God, where the hell was Ellie?

“Enjoy him now while you can.” Her hand lovingly caressed her belly. “We’re going to be a family soon. We’ll have a forever connection. What will you have? Your memories of a great shag?”

I swallowed the dry lump in my throat, fighting back the tears and curse words I wanted to let rip. I opened my mouth, my intoxicated brain struggling to give voice to the words swirling in my brain.

“He’s stuck by me for five years. Don’t forget that sweetie. I’d be careful if I were you,” she warned, bitter venom lacing her voice.

Ellie emerged from the stall just then, standing tall beside me. “What Emmy and Ben have is none of your damn business, you old witch. Just worry about yourself.” Ellie’s tone was careful, measured, and I was thankful for her clear, level head. But her voice held a hint of warning, too, and I knew she could go from civilized to bitch in two seconds flat.

Fiona looked from Ellie back to me and let out a short laugh. “Enjoy yourselves while it lasts, girls.” She placed the little purse strap over her wrist and strolled from the restroom without a backward glance.

I learned that being highly intoxicated and emotionally drained from my showdown with Fiona didn’t mix well. When we found the guys again, Ben’s mouth tugged down in a frown and he looped an arm around my waist. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

I merely nodded and let him guide me to the exit, hoping that Fiona was somewhere nearby watching his arms encircle me.

The hiccups hit me on the limo ride back. Ben watched me with a worried expression and Ellie handed me a bottle of water from the limo minibar while Braydon sat slumped in the seat next to Ben.

“Here, sweetie, drink this.” She uncapped the bottle and urged me to take a sip.

The water should have been refreshing, but my belly was turning somersaults and my head was spinning from facing the wrong direction in the limo. I took a small sip and returned the bottle. I let my eyes slip closed and rested my head back against the leather headrest.

The three of them continued a low, murmured conversation beside me, and I tried to focus on what was being said since I was pretty sure they were discussing me.

“Your agent is a fucking bitch,” Ellie snapped.

“She means well, Ellie, trust me. You don’t know her like I do.”

“Yeah, right. She meant well when she was in the restroom just now telling Emmy that she was going to win you back.”

Braydon cleared his throat loudly but Ben remained quiet. I wanted him to argue, to shout and curse and swear that it was never going to happen. But his silence permeated the air, making my stomach turn in little somersaults.

“You think this is healthy for her? Being with you? Having to deal with this shit?” Ellie whispered coarsely.

“I don’t know,” Ben answered.

I wanted to argue with them, to tell them I was fine. Or that I would be once this damn limo stopped spinning. It was like a magic-carpet ride from hell. But I stayed quiet, trying to piece together their cryptic, murmured phrases.

Ben cursed under his breath. “I’m not giving her up. As long as she wants me, I’m here.”

I vaguely heard Ben instruct the driver to bring us home first then drop off Ellie and Braydon after. I hoped they would be okay alone together. For some reason they mixed about as well as oil and water. But I didn’t have time to worry about that. My attention was focused solely on praying that the contents of my stomach would stay put. By the time the limo rolled to a stop in front of Ben’s building, I’d lost the use of my legs.
Well, shit
.

Ben lifted me in his arms and carried me. When we reached his apartment, he brought me inside and set me down on the couch then removed my shoes. “Are you feeling okay?”

I nodded, though I wasn’t entirely sure.
God, why did I drink so much?

“I’ll go get you a glass of water and some pain reliever,” he said.

His words barely registered because the second he was out of the living room I was on my feet, darting for the bathroom. The liquor in my stomach churned violently and just as the toilet came into view I lost it, sinking to my knees and getting sick.

Ew
. I hated throwing up. The coughing, the smell, the violent way my stomach kept convulsing long after I’d emptied it.

After I had thoroughly expelled everything from my system, I collapsed onto the floor in a heap. It was only then that I noticed Ben was beside me.
Shit
. He pushed the hair back from my face. I tried to focus on his perfect face but he was too blurry. The bathroom was tipping and spinning rather annoyingly. I was vaguely aware of his arms coming around me and lifting me off the floor before the world went black.