Craving Redemption (41 page)

I was fucking stunned.

I was also pissed as hell.

What the fuck was Callie’s deal?

“Come on, honey,” Vera said forcefully. “Let’s get you a drink. This is a celebration!”

I let her drag me into the clubhouse.

The next two hours were a blur of toasts made with any liquor we had on hand. Brothers were bringing me their drinks of choice—whiskey and tequila mostly—and they were so genuinely glad that I was back that I couldn’t turn them down without feeling like an asshole.

I woke up the next morning, face-first on my bed, with my boots hanging off my feet, and no shirt.

Oh, shit.
Callie was going to be fucking livid.

I rolled out of bed slowly, my stomach fucking churning as I got to my feet. I needed a shower and some coffee before I could even
think
about hitting the road.

It took me less than an hour before I left, but it felt like days as I tried to get Callie on the phone. She wasn’t answering, and I knew she was pissed. Dragon followed me down, making sure we got to Sacramento without any problems, and it was annoying as fuck that they thought I needed some sort of babysitter. I didn’t mind the company, though—it gave me something to focus on other than the fight I knew I was gonna have with Callie.

Dragon kept riding when I pulled into the parking lot of the apartments. I recognized Callie’s new car from what she’d described to me, but I didn’t see Gram’s anywhere. Good. I didn’t want to deal with other people when I was dealing with whatever shit storm I’d walk into.

The door was locked when I got to her apartment, so I reached up and grabbed the key I knew would be hidden behind the siding above the door. I’d told her and Farrah to stop putting that shit there—but I somehow knew they wouldn’t.
Fucking idiots.
Anyone could just walk into their living room.

The place was quiet when I opened the door, but I immediately saw Callie sitting silently on the couch facing me. She was wearing a little black robe that barely covered her thighs, and the way it gaped between her tits had my heart thundering in my chest. Her back was perfectly straight, feet flat on the floor, and her hands were gripped tightly together in her lap as she watched me walk in.

There was no expression on her face.

“Hey, sweetheart,” I called quietly, shutting and locking the door behind me and pocketing the key. “I know you’re pissed, but I can explain.”

She didn’t say a word.

“Club had a welcome home party for me last night—planned to head out after a couple hours, but the boys were bringing me drinks and I didn’t want to end up getting a fuckin’ DUI on my way down,” I told her as I walked slowly toward her, every part of my body begging me to rush. “I know you’re mad.”

“I’m not mad,” she told me seriously. “I’m done.”

“What?” I slammed to a stop just feet from her.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she answered quietly.

“Fuckin’ explain, Calliope.”

“Last night,” she swallowed, squeezing her eyes shut, before she pierced me with them. “Last night, Will and I made spaghetti,” she told me, searching my face. “I told him all about how his daddy was coming home and we had to make him a special dinner. So we cooked, and I helped him clean up his toys while he rattled on about his daddy, mostly shit that I couldn’t understand because he’s twenty months old and most of the shit he says is gibberish.”

Her thumbnail started scratching against the skin of her hand as I watched, vomit building in my throat.

“Eventually, I had to make him eat dinner, even though he was adamant that daddy was supposed to eat the spaghetti.” She paused and took a deep breath. “So, we ate, and we waited. Will finally crashed around one, after fussing and complaining for hours because he didn’t want to go to bed, and then it was just me, waiting.”

“I’m—”

“I waited right here, all night,” she cut me off. “Because I
knew
that you’d be here. I knew you were as anxious as I was, and I didn’t doubt that you were on your way. I didn’t doubt it because you promised you were headed straight here. So I waited. And eventually, Will woke up and wanted breakfast. So I made him breakfast while he jabbered on and on about you, but you still weren’t here.”

“I got here as soon as I could,” I told her anxiously, palms up.

“I waited while I was giving Will his bath, and lunch, and finally put him down for his afternoon nap that he fought me on.” Her gaze moved across the room, gazing at nothing, and I immediately missed her eyes on me. “And now it’s twenty-four hours later, and I’m still in the nightgown I bought especially for your homecoming, and I have absolutely no desire to show it to you.
None
. I’m done.”

“Sweetheart, I know you’re mad. And I’m sorry as hell that I wasn’t here and didn’t call…”

“It wouldn’t have mattered if you did,” she told me with a shake of her head. “I broke it last night.”

I followed her gaze to the corner of the room and the cracked cellphone lying at the base of the wall.

“You went to the club instead of coming home,” she whispered pitifully.

“You could have been there!” I snapped, felling like shit and lashing out in defense. “They tried to get a hold of you, but you’ve been ignoring them the entire time I’ve been gone!”

“Why would I want anything to do with them?” she sneered, making me take a step back in surprise. “That club has completely fucked up my life for four years! They were the goddamn reason you were in prison!”

“That club has fed you and clothed you for four years, too,” I growled back, irritated as fuck.

“No.
You
supported me.
They
didn’t give
shit
to me,” she shot back, her face immediately smoothing out again. “And I don’t even need you to do it anymore.”

I stared at her, gaping. It was so much worse than I’d thought. I’d known she was pissed, but I’d had no idea how deep that shit went, and now I was fucked.

“Sugar, don’t do this,” I whispered, my entire life crumbling around me. I wanted to fucking shake her, to shove her down on the couch and prove that she was mine. But I couldn’t. She was the mother of my child, and she was breaking apart right in front of me.

“Will’s still sleeping,” she told me dismissively. “I know you have your phone, since I hooked it back up, so I’ll have Gram call you when he wakes up.”

“I’ll just stay until he does,” I answered, moving toward the couch.

“No. You won’t,” she commanded, shaking her head as she stood, the silky robe falling down her thighs in a way that made my mouth water. “I’ve been paying for this apartment for months, Asa. It’s no longer yours. Gram will call you when he wakes up and you can come for a visit—after that we’ll work something out.”

“You don’t want to do this, Callie,” I warned her, my muscles straining in frustration. “You don’t want me to leave.”

“I’ll probably cry,” she told me quietly, opening the door and motioning for me to walk through it. “I’ll probably weep and lie in bed for hours and feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest.” She searched my face as I reached up to touch her, but she pulled her head back before I could make contact. “But I won’t change my mind.”

Just like that, she completely shattered my fucking life.

Chapter 70

Callie

The minute Asa walked out the door, I wanted to take it all back.

I wanted to tell him that I’d just been angry, that I loved him and wanted him to hold me. It had been so long since he’d been able to just hold me without the threat of a time limit, or of it being thought inappropriate. I just needed him to fight for me, to tell me that the club wasn’t more important and that he would put Will and me first from then on.

I dropped onto the couch, stunned that he had actually left. When I realized I hadn’t heard his bike start yet, I jumped back up and ran to the front door. I raced to the landing and looked over to find him talking on his phone. I raced down the stairs barefoot, anxious to get to him before he left, and he didn’t notice as I came up only a few feet behind him.

“Bitch fuckin’ kicked me out,” he hissed to whoever he was talking to. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Nah, man. Take care of it for me, would you?”

I felt my nose start running even before tears hit my eyes, and thought vaguely that it was weird as I quietly backed away from him. I’d messed up. I’d gone too far, and even though that was my intention, I felt gutted.

I backed into the stairwell before he could hear me, and listened as he fired up his bike. Within moments he was gone, and the warm afternoon suddenly felt frigid in my tiny-ass robe. I made my way back to the apartment on silent feet and prayed that I hadn’t woken Will up when I’d thrown the door open. I didn’t know if I could handle being mommy, when I couldn’t even feel my hands. Why couldn’t I feel my hands?

I wasn’t in the house long, sitting on the couch where Asa’d found me earlier, when someone was knocking on the door.
He came back!
I was so relieved that I freaking ran to the door, my fingers fumbling with the locks until I got it open.

“Hey, remember me?” a voice called jovially. “I’m Grease’s brother Deke, we met once before.”

My entire body slumped when I realized Asa hadn’t come back, and then stiffened when I noticed how the man was watching me. I didn’t move from the doorway, but he used my surprise and disappointment against me as he slid past me and into the apartment.

“Seems like he would have hooked you up better than this,” he commented, shaking his head as he looked around the apartment.

“I’m sorry, I don’t really remember you,” I answered calmly as I placed myself between him and the hallway. “We’ve met?”

“Yeah, I was there the night Grease found you. Remember? I had a Mohawk then.” He was watching me intently, taking in my skimpy robe, and it creeped me out big time. There was something wrong with his eyes. His pupils were too large, his eyes sort of glassy and bloodshot at the same time.

“Yeah, I remember you now,” I told him with a fake laugh. “That night is sort of a blur.”

“I bet. Jose always had the good shit at his place,” he answered insensitively, as if I’d
chosen
to be drugged.

“Are you looking for Asa? He just ran to the store, he should be back pretty soon,” I lied through my teeth.

“Oh, yeah? Well, I’ll just sit down and wait then.”

I watched him make himself comfortable on my couch as my stomach turned. Should I have told him that Asa wasn’t coming back? It seemed safer to lie and say that Asa would be there any second, but now he was acting like he wasn’t going to leave and I had no idea what to do.

“I’m going to go get dressed really quick,” I mumbled, watching him closely.

“No need to do that for me, I’m enjoying the view,” he leered, making my skin crawl.

I didn’t reply as I turned and made my way to Farrah’s bedroom. There was a basket of clothes from the Laundromat sitting on her floor, and I’d never been so glad that she refused to put anything away when it was her turn to do the laundry. I left the door open half an inch so I could hear what he was doing, and raced to pull on jeans and a two t-shirts. I didn’t have a fucking bra in there, but I wasn’t about to bring any attention to my room with Will sleeping inside.

I moved silently to Farrah’s dresser, one eye on the door as I pulled out her top drawer. The dresser was tall enough that Will couldn’t reach into it, and I breathed a sigh of relief as my hand wrapped around what I was looking for, hiding underneath a plethora of silk and lace underwear. The .45 was heavy in my hand as I checked the clip, finding six bullets. I was glad as hell that I’d found high-waist jeans in the laundry basket, because the thing was so big there was no way I could have hidden it at my back if I hadn’t.

I pulled my t-shirts down over the waistband of my jeans before swinging Farrah’s door open so I could slide through. He was still sitting on the couch when I got back to the living room, but his knee was bouncing in impatience.

“Can’t say the view’s any worse,” he commented mockingly as he looked at my braless breasts.

“Why don’t I just have Asa call you when he gets back?” I asked calmly, crossing my arms. “It’s been a long night and I’m not really up for company.”

“Well, we both know he’s not coming back,” he answered, shaking his head in mock sympathy. “You kicked his ass out, right?”

My throat closed up as he stood from the couch, and my fight or flight instinct kicked in for just a second, but there was no choice.

My son was sleeping peacefully in the next room. I couldn’t go anywhere.

“If you knew he wasn’t coming, why are you here?”

“Came to get his son for him,” he told me sadly. “He didn’t want to deal with the inevitable drama, so he sent me instead. But I’m thinking… me and you can work something out. I’ll put in a good word for you and maybe he won’t take your kid…”

“Get the fuck out of my house,” I hissed, my heart pounding in my ears.

“No can do, sweetheart,” he sneered. Asa’s endearment sounded like a curse coming from him, and it made me feel like a thousand ants were crawling all over my skin.

“He wouldn’t send you here,” I argued as he backed me into the kitchen. “You’re a goddamn druggie.”

He pulled back his hand, and I noticed a weird tattoo on it before he punched me in the face, sending me stumbling into the fridge.

“You just call me a druggie?” he growled menacingly, punching me in the stomach so hard I bent at the waist as my breath left me.

“Huh?” he asked, using one of my arms to spin me around and press my face against the freezer door.

“N-no,” I stuttered as he pulled my arm so far up my back that my shoulder was screaming in pain.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what I heard,” he whispered into my ear, yanking on my arm until I felt the searing pain of my shoulder dislocating. I bit through my cheek, trying not to scream, and felt blood pooling in my mouth.

He shoved me to the floor and kicked me twice in the ribs before he started pacing, mumbling under his breath to himself. I wasn’t sure what he was on, but he was acting fucking crazy, and I knew it was only a matter of time before things got a whole lot worse. I slowly pushed myself with my legs to the cabinet doors, using one arm to pull myself up to a sitting position while my other arm lay uselessly by my side.