Craving You (TBX #2) (19 page)

Parker

Dizziness set in and my air supply seemed to be running low at the tone of her voice, the
I don’t give a fuck about you
attitude she was acting out caused my hands to shake and nausea consumed me. If those feelings were on the verge of love, I never want to experience it again. It was damn near crippling. How’d I ever allow myself to even
attempt
to think that the feelings I
had
for her could have been love?
What a joke.
I knew better and still chased after her- but not this time and not ever again. Lesson learned. Keep that shit skin level from now on.

My brother, my best friend, just asked me a question I never thought he’d utter, and I’m completely zoned out in shock. Tim’s voice muffles through slightly. “I think you broke him.” Then the bastard pokes me.

“Parker, snap out of it. You knew this was gonna happen eventually.”

“What? I don’t think I heard you right.” I stare at the diamond ring on the table.

“I’m thinkin’ of askin’ Brealynn to marry me, asshole, and I want to know what my fuckin’ brother thinks about it.” Yup, I heard him right the first time, although he wasn’t that rude a minute ago.

“Okay, I heard you right.” Rubbing my face, I feel the frustration of my life more than anything, not from the ring in front of me.

“I love her and want to spend my life with her.” There’s that word again,
love
. It puts a bad taste in my mouth. Lookin’ at my brother who’s changed so much over this past year, I really take him in. Don’t think I’ve ever seen him so fuckin’ wickedly happy before. Never thought I’d ever see it after we lost Mom. Just because I’ll never fall in love or want to spend my life with the girl of my dreams doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for my big brother.

“Go for it. She loves you.” His posture relaxes with my comment.

“We’re gonna have a weddin’,” Tim says in his most country of accents. His southern twang drippin’ off every word as he slaps me on the back.

“When are you goin’ to ask her?”

“I want to throw Brealynn and Kelsey a surprise birthday party since they’re both in the same month. I’ll propose then.” My ears perk up at the sound of her name. Colt and Tim look at me with sympathy. I told them about the whole blow-up with Kelsey.

I didn’t even know when her birthday
was
.

“Just let me know where you need my help.” Defeated in more ways than one.

Colt shifts uncomfortably, “Was hoping you two would help me plan it. I know you and Kelsey aren’t talkin’, but she’d never know.” Yeah, it’s been all of two days and there’s been radio silence between us two. The house is constantly awkward when we’re both home.

“Hell yeah! You know I love a good party,” Tim cheers.

“No problem.” My smile shakes, but I hope Colt didn’t see it.

Walking into the house, my steps pause. Kelsey is curled up on the couch watching TV. The stiffness of her body screams that she knows who just walked through the door. She’s always uncomfortable around me now. Our once explosive relationship has become nothing but a smoke cloud, and it seems impossible for me to escape out of the smog.

“This is the last Dr. Pepper…” Ava’s voice calls from the kitchen. A current shoots through my skin, and I just want to hide. Kelsey is a statue staring at the TV like it’s going to predict the future. “You take it. I grabbed a bottle of water.” Her green eyes widen when she steps into the livin’ room. “Hey.”

Kelsey unfolds herself from the couch, walking over to Ava and taking the soda from her outstretched hand. “Thanks.” Then for the first time in two days, she looks at me, stopping my heart with her beauty. “I’ll leave you two. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Her joking tone and sweet smile don't match the sadness in her eyes. The ache to wrap my arms around her is strong.

Ava barks out a laugh around the can at her lips. “I hope that list isn’t long.” Kelsey’s smile falls before she quickly paints it back on and turns to Ava.

“Girl, it only has one thing written on it, so you’re good.” What I know is a fake laugh leaves her lips and the tone of her voice sends my emotions into overdrive. One minute, I want to hold her, and the next, I want to run far away.

“What’s that? Just so I know the boundaries,” Ava jokes back with her. Cement couldn’t hold me down better than my feet are right now. Hell, I’ve grown roots into the floorboards.

“A girl has her secrets. Have fun,” Kelsey singsongs and walks past me toward the staircase. Her gaze never meeting mine. Maybe if she would’ve, I’d have caved and grabbed her, but she kept walking away from me.
What she’s good at.

“See you later, girl,” Ava calls out to her then looks at me. “Hey, good lookin’, you wanna go for a ride?”

Kelsey was completely in earshot for that comment, and it’s the bastard in me that replies back with, “Are you ready for the time of your life?” I know she’s just talkin’ about takin’ our bikes out to the ramp, but Kelsey doesn’t.

“If you think you’re up for it, big boy,” Ava coos. When I look up the staircase, Kelsey’s form is frozen a few steps from the top with her shoulders slumped. “Let’s go. You have a hell of a day in front of you.” Ava opens the front door and out we go into the sunshine and down to the box where I can block out everything but ridin’.

Kelsey

I didn’t expect the jealousy to rip me apart from my core. The fact that another girl will be touching him and taking care of him, eats at me. Ava is gorgeous, with fire red hair and tattoos all over her body. Plus, she works for one of the biggest sports magazines in the state. She’s fuckin’ Ava Valencia, one of the biggest reporters in the business. No matter that I know this is best, it still hurts. Way more than I thought it would.

“So…” Brealynn thinks out loud while we sit on the back porch of the house. “Ava.”

“What about her?” Crickets start to play their annoying music almost drowning out my reply.

“I’ve seen her and Parker together a lot lately. Are they dating?” She pokes the bear (
me
), knowing damn well they’re not.

“Not sure. Don’t care.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You know you can’t lie to your best friend. It’s like, against the law of the world. Do you really want to mess with that?”

“You’re crazy.” I bark out a real laugh. “I can’t allow myself to care because
that’s
against the law of
my
world. “

“Oh, Kelsey.” My best friend shakes her head at me in sadness. “Don’t you know that’s bullshit? I thought maybe, just maybe, when you found the right guy you’d change your way of thinking.”

“Well, you should know better than that. I’ve seen what happens when you love someone.”

“Have you really?” Brealynn turns her whole body toward me. “Am I okay?”

“Yes, you’re okay. What are you getting at?” I squint my eyes into slits at her.

“I’m in love with Colt and he with me. You don’t see us falling apart. Everyone has their own ups and downs, and yes, sometimes you love the wrong person, but Kelsey …” the plea in her voice grabs at me somewhere deep, stirring emotions, “when you’re in love with the right person, everything else fades away when you’re together. All the other worries you have in the world finally seem possible when they’re beside you.” Brealynn’s hand touches my knee. “You’re not your mom. She’s lost, but I do believe she will find love someday too. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wandering around … lost?”

I think back to every time I was around
him.
How everything did seem to fade away and it was possible to just be with him. It’s only been two days, and I’m already missing his friendship and, if I’m honest, his touch and security.

“Shit,” Brea hisses and my eyes shoot up to look out across the backyard. Parker is giving Ava a piggyback ride back from the box, where they did who knows what. My gut twist again, and I’m sure my skin is turning green with the monster that is jealousy clawing its way out of me. Before I can comprehend the entire image of them, Parker is feet from me. “What’s so funny?” His pretty-boy grin firm and the bright whites of his teeth flashing toward me.
Ugh
. Why does he have to look so
perfect?

Parker lets Ava slide down the length of his back before she nestles up under his arm when her feet hit the ground as he pulls her in close. “Ava tried to beat me and failed, miserably.” The sound of his voice sends my body into high alert. When will he stop having this effect on me? I stare at them before me, jealous of the beauty that can touch him, have his arms around her,
and feel him
.

“Maybe so, but I’d lose that bet any day.” She winks. In the short time I’ve known Ava, it seems that her and Parker’s friendship has bloomed into a full garden. When did they get so close? When did I miss it?

“What was the bet?”
Shit
. It’s out of my mouth before I can stop it. Parker’s eyes slam to mine full of anger, but behind that, I see his desire for me. My heart freezes mid-beat with the intensity of it.

“Don’t worry. It’s nothing that you wouldn’t do.”

His voice is so cold that it causes Brealynn to stand from her seat. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I know what it means; he’s probably going to fuck the shit out of her. My body aches with the amount of pain shooting through it, rendering me immobile.

Ava shrugs out of Parker’s grasp, or tries to, but he pulls her back in. “Don’t worry about them, Ava.” She looks uncomfortable and out of place now.

“You shouldn’t, Ava, but Parker,
you should
.” Crossing her arms, Brealynn squares off with him.

“What did I just walk in on?” Colt holds the door open for Tim as they file out. Tim is carrying the bag of coals for our cookout tonight. “Hey, Ava, you joining us for supper?”

“Um … I don’t –”

“Yes. She is,” Parker interrupts.

“Parker’s being an asshole, but what’s new?” Brealynn fumes.

Colt wraps her up and places a kiss on her lips; she instantly melts with his touch. “Just let it go.” I hear his whispered warning. Brealynn sighs and nods then looks at me with sad eyes. I give her a slight smile to let her know it’s okay. I made this choice, and this is life now.

“Who’s ready for the best meat of your life?” Everyone groans, besides Ava, if she only knew Tim’s humor. “Not that kind, you pervs!” We all laugh, the tension easing around us.

Pink and orange hues shine over the green summer grass, the Texas air cooling only slightly with the setting sun. Sippin’ on a margarita, my eyes greedily sweep over Parker as he talks with the boys at the grill.

“Kelsey ...” The sweet voice of Ava greets my ears. I grind my teeth together and put on what I hope is a convincing smile for her. “Nothing is going on between us.”
Really
, why are you referring to you and him as an
‘us’
then? Jealousy is a horrible illness; I hope I get well soon …

“Well, he’s single, if you’re interested.” I shrug a shoulder for good measure.

“He may be single, but his heart most definitely belongs to you,” she whispers while eyeing Parker.