Crazy Dreams (4 page)

“Sorry. I guess I was excited for this project,” I told her after I parked.

“It’s okay. At least I survived,” she laughed.

“Very funny. I’m an excellent driver,” I proclaimed.

“You are. Maybe you should abandon the song writing career and contact
NASCAR
,” she added.

“Very funny,” I muttered as we made our way into the store.

Ember grabbed a cart and directed me to push while she added a wide variety of fruits and vegetables to it, hand selecting each piece of fruit. Most of the stuff she put in the cart, I’d never even heard of, let alone eaten before. She promised to let me try all of it, but when she put a fruit that looked like bananas in the cart, I wondered if she lost her mind.

“Your baby bananas aren’t ready yet,” I explained.

“They’re plantains. And they’re delicious,” she argued.

“I’m not eating mini bananas,” I whined.

“You’ll like them. Trust me,” she said, putting some other weird fruit next to the plantains.

The whole experience was surreal and it felt like we were a couple, grocery shopping together. It was nice, but scary, too. We didn’t even know each other, and we were already in some kind of
couple-mode
. It worried me. I wasn’t in any position to be in a relationship, especially not with Ember. She was Dallas’s sister, sort of. He felt like a protective big brother to her, anyway. And that was close enough. I didn’t want to get my ass kicked.

Six

Ember

I paid for my groceries and Stone teased me, calling me a sugar-mama. It was cute, but the truth was, I didn’t have a dime. Dallas gave me money before he left, telling me to get whatever I needed at the store. I appreciated his kindness, but also made a mental note to get at least a part-time job to pay my way. He was already giving me a free place to stay for the summer–I didn’t need to mooch all my meals off him, too.

Stone was an enigma. He was playful and funny, but he truly didn’t seem interested in me. It irked me as much as it made me comfortable. I wanted him to like me, but maybe not just sexually. We had this natural give and take conversation going and I loved it. He liked to tease me and I found I liked his teasing. He made me feel completely at ease. I wasn’t fake with him, I didn’t pretend to be what I thought he expected of me. I was just me.

It felt amazing.

By the time we got back to Dallas’s place, I felt like we were old friends. And he wanted me to sing with him, which was pretty cool. I never imagined a career in singing; I still didn’t, but to have that on my resume would be fun. And working with Stone would be interesting. He was hot, with eyes that changed color from blue to green and every shade in between, and dark hair
;
he wasn’t the type of guy I typically went for. Which made him perfect to work with: I wouldn’t be distracted by him sexually.

That was a lie. After our encounter that morning, with him in just a towel, I’d caught myself imagining what was beneath that towel more than once. But hey, a summer fling wouldn’t hurt. Especially if we were both honest about it. Of course, that meant actually figuring out whether or not he was interested. I was willing to wait and see if he showed any interest, but for the time being, I was content to wait it out, to see what happened naturally.

He lugged all the bags in for me, refusing to let me carry anything other than my purse. It was a sweet gesture and when he went back to get a second round of bags, I started unpacking my groceries. I bought more than enough food for me, but maybe I could get Stone, and Dallas, too, to eat healthier. If Dallas ever came back… He said he’d be gone for two weeks, but even he admitted that he was usually gone on assignment much longer, which made having Stone as a roommate a perfect solution for him. Stone took care of the things Dallas might not be able to get to.

Dallas spoke highly of Stone, as if they’d been friends for a long time, which I didn’t doubt. I had no idea how they met, but theirs was a strong friendship, it seemed. Dallas told me if I needed any more cash, I could go into his desk in the living room, where he kept extra money. If Dallas trusted Stone enough to leave money just laying around, then he was probably trustworthy. Dallas didn’t seem like the type to trust just anyone.

After Rainey’s death, hell, even before she died, I didn’t really know Dallas. He wasn’t around much, but at her funeral, he came up to me and made an impressions.

“If you ever need anything, Ember, anything at all, I want you to call me. I was always there for Rainey after her dad died, and I should have been there for you, too. I’m sorry I wasn’t. I was far too preoccupied with myself, but not anymore. Just call me if anything comes up, okay?”

He made me promise to call him before he let me be. I was a jumble of tears and emotions, but his words stuck with me, and when I needed to get away, he was the first one I called. Mallory or Gabby probably would have helped, but they were still too close to home, too close to my mother. Staying with Dallas was the best option for me, getting away from the entire situation at home.

Sure, college helped, but not enough. I was still back home on holidays and my mother rode my ass, assessing my health and lecturing me for any weight gain. During my first year, I didn’t gain the freshman fifteen, but there was at least a five pound fluctuation and she was
so disappointed
in me for it. I managed to lose it after only a week at home, but I was sick of worrying about what she thought of me. Of what anyone thought of me.

Stone’s words at lunch struck a chord.
Did people really see me as too thin?
I wasn’t anorexic or bulimic, but it was possible people might have seen me as having an eating disorder. I was curvy, but in the privacy of my own bathroom, it kind of freaked me out when I took a deep breath and my skin sucked up almost underneath my ribcage.

I only ate the burger to prove to him I wasn’t afraid to eat, but even I had to admit, it was delicious. I hadn’t had fast food or junk food of any kind in years. Maybe I could put on a few pounds this summer without being judged and actually be a little healthier looking. Stone seemed to encourage it, and I doubted Dallas would care one way or the other.

For the first time in as long as I could remember, I was going to live the way I wanted, without the direct and manipulative supervision of my mother. It wasn’t a rebellion, or at least, that’s what I told myself. It was more of spending the summer truly finding myself. I was going to try new things, like singing with Stone, and spend as much time as I could discovering what I really wanted out of life.

I knew I didn’t want to be a model. I’d known for a long time. Telling my mother was difficult. Even now, she truly believed this was just a passing stage that I would
get over it
,
come back to Maine
,
and be ready to model again. And who knew, maybe I would. I doubted it. I wanted more from life than for people to stare at me in the pages of a magazine.

“Need any help putting things away?” Stone asked as he set the last of the bags on the kitchen island.

I looked around. “I think I’m alright. I’d love to hear more of that song, though. Maybe you’d play some more of it for me?”

His face lit up. “Yeah, let me grab my guitar.”

He raced back to his room and returned with a gorgeous acoustic guitar. I knew nothing about the music world, but even I recognized the expensive brand. He also had a notebook with him.

“Here’s a good portion of the lyrics. I’m still working out a few spots, but this is the bulk of it,” he said, setting the notebook down on the counter. I skimmed the page, loving the lyrics.

“Looks great. Just let me know if and when you want me to sing a little. That’s a nice guitar,” I commented.

He looked a little sheepish. “Yeah, tell me about it. I traded my soul to the devil in order to get it.”

I laughed. “I bet.”

“No, it was a gift from Dallas when I got down here. I had a hard time accepting it and a harder time refusing. He made it easy enough, though. He’s a great guy,” Stone said.

I smiled, agreeing with a nod as I put more groceries away.

“Okay, I’ll start playing and you can just sing wherever you think you should. It’s still really rough, but we can figure it out together.” He strummed a few chords and then went into the song, letting it flow out of him.

When he started singing, I stopped putting things away just to listen to him. It amazed me he hadn’t been picked up yet. His voice was deep, melodic, and strong. He was going to be a huge star someday. Add in his great body and ruggedly handsome face, and the girls would go wild.

Seven

Stone

The light that came into her eyes as I played was distracting. She might not have a musical background, but she was excited to be on this journey with me. Maybe it was just a distraction for her, something to get her mind off her real life, but when she started to sing along in the chorus, the song came to life. We were making beautiful music together and it felt right. More than that, it felt like this song was the
one
. I didn’t want to be too presumptuous, but this song could make my career. And Ember’s, too, if she wanted it.

I watched her as we sang. Her eyes closed and she swayed with the music, letting it fill her up. I had to take a few deep breaths between the chorus and second verse to calm myself. I could watch her sing all day every day. It wasn’t so much about her looks as it was her whole self. When she sang, her soul shined through and she was a stunning person. If she could turn on what she was showing me as she sang during her modeling career, I could easily see why she did so well.

She wanted to leave that life, though, get away from it. I wasn’t sure for how long. Perhaps just the summer, maybe longer? It didn’t matter to me, so long as she sang with me for as long as she was around. Singing with her was freeing, stress-relieving.

I picked the final chords and we both stopped singing, but neither of us spoke right away. We just sort of stared at one another for a full minute, letting the words and the music speak for us. I finally broke the silence.

“That was great,” I said, trying not to let the raw emotion I felt show.

She cleared her throat. “It was amazing. Is it always like that when you sing?”

“Not even close. I’ve been waiting what feels like my whole life for a song to get me like that one.”

“Oh. I’m glad it wasn’t just me,” she breathed.

I laughed a little. “It kind of takes you by surprise, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. It’s exhilarating, though.”

“Tell me about it,” I agreed.

The song was simple enough, but it elicited so many feelings. I took several deep breaths and watched as a tear slipped down her cheek.

“Are you okay?” I asked, moving around the island to stand in front of her. I swiped my thumb across her cheek, wiping away the tear.

She hardly seemed to notice it was there. “I’m great.” Her deep green eyes met mine and the intensity I saw there was almost frightening.
Almost.
When she leaned forward, it took all the will power I could muster to pull away.

She was so sweet, so innocent and I wanted her. But that was all the more reason to keep my distance. Dallas warned me off and I promised to stay away from her. I meant to keep my word.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her eyes downcast as she backed up a step.

I pulled off my guitar and set it on the counter, moving forward to take her face between my hands. She finally looked up at me again and I let myself get lost in her eyes for a minute before I spoke.

“You have absolutely no reason to be sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to, Ember,” I explained. I wanted her more than anyone I’d ever wanted in my whole life. “Dallas asked me not to make a move on you. And I agreed. Asking you to sing with me wasn’t a sexual invitation. I really do want you to sing with me. I never expected to feel the way I do when we sang together.” It was an honest admission and she seemed to appreciate it.

“I think it’s probably a good idea to keep our distance when we sing, then, if we’re going to get so lost in the emotions of the song.”

“Agreed,” I said, picking up my guitar and moving away from her. “I think that’s enough music for now. Let’s figure out what to make for dinner and then we can watch a movie or something.”

“Sounds good.”

I walked back to my room and set the guitar in its stand. I closed my door and let myself breathe for a minute, sitting on the edge of my bed. I needed to process whatever the hell just happened.

We’d spent less than twelve hours together and it felt like we were in a relationship already. She sucked me in, without even trying, and I was lost. I wanted to know everything about her, wanted to know her on a personal level. Even after I just got done telling her nothing could happen between us.

The almost-kiss moment was over, but I still wanted to kiss her. Hell, I wanted to do a whole lot more than kiss her. I wanted to take her in my arms, carry her into my room and make love to her for the rest of my life. She would be so responsive, begging me for more as I pleasured her orally before I took her completely.