Crazy for Her (16 page)

“Yes, ma’am.” Logan pulled it over his head and, forgetting he was standing at the railing, tossed it over his shoulder. He leaned back and glanced down. It had caught on the umbrella stand, waving in the wind like a flag.

“I surrender,” he said.

Her eyes gleamed with amusement. “I wonder what Mrs. Jankowski will think about that.”

“That I was struck stupid by the most beautiful woman in the world?”

“I don’t know, are you?”

“Yes.” It was the simple truth. The wind blew the bottom of her robe open and he had a brief glimpse of dark, springy curls. His cock must have a direct line to his eyes because it immediately sprang to attention. Shit, he was going to last all of sixty seconds when it finally happened. He should have jacked off when she was checking on Regan.

Her gaze roamed over his chest, which did nothing to help his condition. “You’re beautiful, too.”

“Men aren’t beautiful.”

“I beg to differ.” She reached up and with one finger traced the dark arrow of hair on his belly, stopping at his waistband and pulling on it. His erection was obvious even with the loose trousers.

She glanced down and smiled. “I think he’s happy to see me.”

Too damned happy. For sure, every drop of blood in his body was now crammed into his cock. If they didn’t slow things down, he really was going to embarrass himself. Glancing over her shoulder, he eyed the coffee.

“Coffee!”

She jumped and he realized he’d yelled it. “I made us a cup with Baileys. Yours is the one with the whipped cream. Why don’t you have a seat, and I’ll be right back.”

Logan walked past her, straight to the bathroom, closing and locking the door. Hell, she probably thought he’d lost his mind. He stripped and did what he should have done earlier. Afterward—for extra insurance—he took a quick cold shower. Slipping his trousers back on, he leaned his forehead on the door and took a deep breath. “You can do this, Kincaid. Just muddle your way through it.”

“Are you sick?” she asked when he returned.

“Scoot up.” He slipped onto the chaise and pulled her back against him. “No, why would you think that?”

“You looked pale before you ran off.”

That was because of where all his blood had gone. “I just had to take care of something,” he said, and almost snorted.

She ran her hand over his arms, then reached behind her and touched his hair. “Your arms are damp and you hair’s wet. Did you just shower?”

There was no way he could explain. “I meant to tell you at dinner that the rescue mission was a success.”

“That’s wonderful. All your men came back safely?”

“They’re on the plane now, heading back to the States.”

“I’m so glad, but you’re trying to change the subject. Why are you wet?”

He rested his chin on the top of her head and tried to think of a plausible answer.

“Tell me,” she said softly.

Maybe it was the gentle tone in her voice, maybe because he thought she’d half-guessed the answer, or that he didn’t want to lie to her, so he told her the truth. “I took a cold shower.”

She pressed her head against his shoulder and peered up at him. “There’s only one reason a man does that. I thought . . .”

He waited for her to finish, but she remained quiet, her eyes searching his. “What did you think?”

“I thought you wanted me, that we would make love tonight.”

“I do, and we will if you’re sure that’s what you want.” He kissed the top of her head.

The wheels were turning; he could see it in her eyes. She was puzzling out why else he would jump in a cold shower. He knew the instant the answer came to her.

“You rushed off because you thought—oh, my.” Her grin stretched from ear to ear. “Has it been a long time since you’ve been with a woman?”

His burst of laughter sounded harsh to his ears. “You could say that.” Damn, she wasn’t stupid. He shouldn’t have said it like that.

“How else could I say it? What aren’t you telling me?”

In an attempt to distract her, he brushed her hair aside and nuzzled the skin below her ear. She put her hand on his chin and pushed him away. Turning halfway around, she leaned back on his leg and shook her head. “I want to know what you meant.”

The little wrap she wore rode up, almost revealing the part of a woman he’d never touched, and, God above, he wanted to touch it more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. He grew hard again, but thankfully his hand and the cold shower had taken the edge off.

Tearing his gaze away from the secret he wanted to discover, he picked up his cup. The coffee was lukewarm, but he didn’t care. As he gulped it down, he wished he’d made it all Baileys with only a splash of coffee.

“Talk to me, Logan.”

He put the cup down and leveled his gaze on her. The stubborn set of her mouth said she wouldn’t rest until he spilled his guts. Could he trust her with his secret? Would she laugh if he told her? If she did, he would get up and walk out of her life forever.

“Trust me,” she said, as if she could read his mind.

Did she understand what she was asking? No, how could she? But she was like a starved dog with a bone and wasn’t going to give it up without a fight. And he wanted to tell her his secrets. Either he was a glutton for punishment, or it was the right thing to do. The words spilled from his mouth.

“I’ve never been with a woman before.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Y
ou’ve never had sex?”

“Define having sex.”

This was not a conversation she could have prepared for, and Dani had trouble believing him. The look in his eyes grew wary.
My God, he’s telling the truth
. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

He held up his hand. “This has been very intimate with a certain part of me, so I can’t say I’ve never had sex.”

“You have any wine up here?” She needed a minute.

His face blanked. “Red or white?”

“Red, a Cabernet if you have it.”

Easing away from her, he went to the outdoor kitchen. Her gaze followed him, noting how the white silk trousers rode low on his waist. Shirtless, he was a sight any female would sigh over. Tall and muscled, with those lean hips and that face, a woman passing him on the street would think,
I want him.
She sure as hell wanted him.

How was it possible he’d never been with a woman? She’d almost said, yeah, sure, when he made his surprise confession, but his guarded expression stopped her. What had it cost him to admit such a thing? There had to be a reason, but she couldn’t imagine what it could be. She was going to find out, though.

He returned with two glasses of rich red wine. “Thanks,” she said, and took one. “Aren’t you going to sit back down?” she asked when he just stood there, staring at her.

“I don’t think so. It was a mistake to tell you. I don’t know why I did. Let’s just call it a night.”

“Oh, no you don’t.” She scooted up. “Sit, Logan.”

If she let him escape now, the subject would be closed forever. He would go back to being nothing more than her bodyguard, and she wanted more than that from him. How much more remained to be seen, but he was already putting up a barrier between them, and she wasn’t going to allow it.

“I’m not leaving, so you may as well sit down.”

He grumbled something under his breath but did as she asked. When he was situated, she leaned back against him. God, his chest was hard. She couldn’t wait to explore his body—something she fully intended to do before the night was over. First, however, she had to get to the bottom of his claim. What was he? Thirty? Wow, a thirty-year-old male virgin and one of the hottest men she’d ever seen. It boggled the mind.

“Why?”

“Let it go, Dani.”

Was he kidding? There was no way she could let it go, and she had the feeling he needed to talk about it. Why else would he have told her in the first place? She took a sip of the wine she hadn’t really wanted and put it aside. The stubborn man wasn’t touching her like he had been earlier.

Hoping he would start talking, she stayed quiet for a few minutes and listened to the sound of the waves hitting the shore. When he remained silent, she took his free hand, brought his arm around her waist, and entwined their fingers.

She twisted her body a little and leaned against his arm. “Tell me why. Please.”

He stared at her for what seemed like a long time, his eyes unreadable. His mouth thinned into a firm line and her heart sank. He wasn’t going to talk. Her mind sorted through what she knew of him.

From what she knew of boys and young men, all they thought about was sex and how to get it. So, if he’d never been with a woman, the reason had to go back to his teen years. Had he been sexually abused? No, he said he’d never been with a woman. Had a man abused him? That had to be it.

“You’re trying so hard to guess the reason, smoke’s coming out of your ears. Whatever you’re thinking is probably wrong.”

“Then tell me.”

He took a deep drink of his wine and set it on the table. His chest rose as he blew out a sigh that sounded like surrender. “Turn around. I don’t want you to look at me. I don’t want to see the disgust in your eyes.”

“All right.” She settled back against him, keeping hold of his hand. The wind had picked up and she smelled rain. Sending a little prayer to the heavens that it would hold off and not interrupt him, she waited for him to start talking.

“I made a vow when I was fifteen not to have sex with a woman until . . .”

He shifted behind her and she wondered what it was he didn’t want to say, almost asked, but her instincts told her not to speak.

“Until it was with the right woman,” he said softly.

Oh God, he’d decided she was the right woman? After fifteen years of waiting? It almost seemed like a burden. Should she feel honored, or run in the opposite direction like there was no tomorrow? He started speaking again, so she shelved her thoughts. She would examine how she felt about being
the one
later. Right now, he needed her to listen.

“Two things happened within days of each other that caused me to make that decision. The first, I won’t talk about. Ever. The second one—”

His hand tightened on hers and she understood he was having trouble getting the words out. She pressed her lips together to keep from saying he didn’t have to tell her. Whatever this secret was, he’d carried it inside him for years and she thought it was slowly crushing him.

“I almost raped a girl.”

The confession was rapid-fire, as if he couldn’t get the bitter taste of the words out of his mouth fast enough. Dear God, if this was the secret he was willing to talk about, then the one he refused to ever speak of had to be really bad. Dani tried to think of the right thing to say.

He pulled his hand from hers. “Obviously, I’ve shocked you. Go to bed. I’ll send you home tomorrow with Buchanan. He’ll protect you until this is over.”

Tears burned her eyes, but she willed them away. Out of all the tortured heroes she’d written about, this flesh-and-blood man held the place of honor. There was more to the story—she just knew it—but he was willing to play the martyr and let her walk out of his life without a fight. That didn’t settle well. She tried to turn around, but he grabbed her waist, holding her in place.

“Go, Dani. I mean it.”

She slapped at his hands. “Let go of me and I will.” As soon as he freed her, she twisted around and sat back on her legs. There was so much pain in his eyes that it made her heart hurt. And then, it was gone, blanked out so fast she wondered if she’d imagined it. No, she had seen it. The ice-cold look in them now was a defense mechanism—daring her to give a damn. Poor baby. Maybe he’d defeated enemies in battle, but he had no clue what he was up against when dealing with her.

“Go away.” He picked up his wine, draining the glass. His sights settled on the horizon.

“Logan, look at me.”

A muscle twitched in his jaw, but he turned back and focused his gaze on the vicinity of her left ear. Okay, so he couldn’t meet her eyes, but she would at least make him listen. “You said you almost raped a girl, but you didn’t. Why not? What stopped you?”

Troubled eyes flickered to hers before returning to the study of her ear. “Her hair reminded me of Maria’s and I thought . . . I thought, what if some guys were doing this to my sister?”

“Guys, as in there was more than one of you?”

His eyelids closed and he sighed. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

Liar. He wanted to, but more important, he needed to. If he didn’t, he would’ve left by now. Once again, she found herself searching for the right words. If she’d known she would be having this conversation, she would’ve studied psychology. There were no magic words, so she decided to worm the story out of him with questions.

“How many boys were involved in the almost-rape?”

“Three.”

“How old were you?”

“Fifteen.”

Where would a fifteen-year-old most likely be for something like a gang rape to happen? “Were you at a party where there was drinking?”

“Yes.”

If she was going to have to guess and get only one-word answers in response, they might be there all night. So be it. He was about to find out how stubborn she could be.

She wished he would open his eyes so she could gauge his reactions to the questions. “I imagine everyone was drunk or near to it and there was some making out going on?”

“You could say that.”

“Where were you?”

“On the beach.”

“With a bonfire and a boom box blasting out music?”

“Don’t forget the hotdogs and beer.”

Well, at least she was getting more than one-word answers now. She took it as a sign of progress. Teens with too much to drink at a party did stupid things, things they’d never do otherwise. An image of Regan, fifteen and at a drinking party, flashed through her mind. No way. The kid was staying locked in her room until she was at least thirty.

Dani took a guess. “Things got out of hand, maybe? A line got crossed and one of you convinced the others she wanted it, so the three of you took her away from the party.”

He nodded.

Now for the big one. “Was it your idea?”

His eyes opened and focused on her. “No.”

Careful not to let her relief show, Dani nodded as if she had fully expected that answer. “But you stopped it. Peer pressure at that age is a parent’s nightmare, but you stood up to your friends when it would have been easier to go along.”

“Only because her hair reminded me of Maria’s.”

“Stop it. I don’t believe that for one second. Maria was what, four or five when it happened? Although that may have been the excuse you gave yourself at the time because you were looking for a reason to put an end to something that had gotten out of hand, you didn’t look at that girl and think of your sister.

“What happened to the girl?”

“I got her out of there and walked her home.”

An insight came to her then. “As much as you might not want to hear this, you should probably thank your mother you’re not a rapist.”

The warmth that had been slowly returning to his eyes vanished. “Like hell. If anything, she would’ve been the reason I would have taken a girl against her will. I have her blood in me.”

“Bullshit.” Dani lowered her face toward his, could almost feel the fire flashing from her glare. “Bullshit, Logan Kincaid. Blood keeps your heart beating, keeps you alive, nothing more. You are everything she wasn’t and never, God damn it—” She paused and took a deep breath. “You could never bring yourself to use a woman like that because you never wanted to be like her.”

“You don’t have to yell, I’m right here,” he said just before his mouth crashed down on hers.

Logan couldn’t believe she stayed after his confession. Why wasn’t she disgusted? She should’ve run away as fast as her legs could carry her. But she’d stayed, asked him questions he didn’t want to answer, yet found himself doing so, and the only thing he could think to do now was kiss her. “I love you” almost tumbled out of his mouth when she’d dismissed his bad blood so easily, but he managed to bite back the words.

If he told her the other thing, how would she react? He pushed the thought away. Never, ever would he tell her about that. He wasn’t a religious man, but he couldn’t help thanking Jesus she was snuggling against him and not in her room packing so she could leave tomorrow with Buchanan. Offering to send her home with Romeo had been the hardest thing he’d ever done.

She curled up on his lap and wrapped an arm around his neck, holding his mouth to hers. Logan stopped thinking. Her bottom settled over his cock, the material of his trousers so thin it was almost as if there was nothing between them. He ground against her, gritting his teeth when she moaned.

If he wasn’t buried deep inside her soon, he was going to die. “Dani.”

“Hmmm?” She lifted her head and put a finger against his lips. “Shhhh. I know what you need.” Her lips were wet from his kiss, her eyes dilated. “Take my wrap off.”

God, yes. He’d seen naked women in movies, knew what they looked like, but this was Dani. This was real. His fingers fumbled with the knot. Christ, his hands were shaking. He finally got it untied, and she held out her arms for him to remove it.

“Jesus, you’re beautiful,” he whispered when her body was bared to him.

“Touch me.”

“Where?” A sudden fear struck him that he wouldn’t be able to please her, that he wouldn’t measure up to the lovers she’d known before him.

She took his hand and brought it to a breast. “Here.” Taking his other hand, she put it on her thigh. “And here. Wherever you want. Just explore.”