Crazy for Her (14 page)

“Drug lords. They want ten million to release them, and their church doesn’t have that kind of money.”

A shudder went through her. Drug lords were ruthless killers, and it was highly probable the team she’d just seen were former SEALs. This was the kind of danger Logan put himself in when he went on a mission, and what would keep her from committing to a permanent relationship with him. She refused to bury another man she loved.

His hand caressed her back. “Are you cold?”

“No, I was just thinking about the danger those guys are walking into.”

He tilted his head and studied her. She didn’t try to hide the emotions roiling inside her. If she hadn’t asked him to come to Asheville, would he now be in that jungle with his men? Would this be the day he died? Tears burned her eyes and she turned away. She had already shown him too much, and she didn’t have the right to ask anything of him.

From behind her, he sighed. “Come with me,” he said, and took her hand.

He led her to the back corner of the room, stopping in front of a tapestry hanging on the wall. Woven with gold, burgundy, and brown threads, it featured a scene of a desert in full moonlight. An oasis was visible in the far distance, the obvious destination of the man and woman dressed in flowing robes. Between them, holding each of their hands, was a child of about six, and following them were two camels. There was a loving smile on the woman’s face as she looked down at the child. Knowing Logan’s background, she understood why the tapestry had appealed to him.

“This is beautiful,” she said. “Did you bring it back from Afghanistan?”

“Yes.” He put his palm on the wall next to it and it started to move.

Startled, Dani squeaked. He chuckled and pulled her into the room. She looked around. “Oh my, did you decorate this, too?”

“Yes.”

The room, obviously his office as there was a massive desk of what she thought to be mahogany, was understated elegance. Mahogany bookcases lined one wall, and a deep-brown leather couch sat along another. Sand-colored Berber carpet covered the floor, and the coffee table looked like a large piece of driftwood, highly varnished. She went to it and slid her fingers over the glossy surface. “This is awesome.”

“It’s my favorite and cheapest piece. I found it on the beach one day, and all it cost was the varnish and base.”

“It’s incredible.”

“Come and sit.”

Dani sank onto one of the soft leather chairs in front of his desk. Logan turned the other chair to face her and sat. Steepling his fingers under his chin, he regarded her as though her thoughts were stamped on her forehead for him to read. She resisted the urge to squirm.

“The men you saw on the screen are facing a dangerous situation and that upsets you, especially because of what happened to Evan. Now I think you’ve decided to worry about me.”

All right, so he was a mind reader. She scrubbed at her forehead as if she could wipe away the words written there. “Yes,” she whispered.

“Listen, this is important. Before we go on a mission, we research, plan, research some more, and plan some more. I have men who do nothing all day but sit at their computers and dig for information. We talk to anyone and everyone who might have the slightest scrap of knowledge that could help us, and then we plan some more. We practice and train until we’re performing the operation in our dreams.”

He gestured behind him. “Beyond this wall is a warehouse big enough to set up mock villages. In a remote area not far from here, I own over a hundred acres where we also train. And all of that happens even before we get the intel from my government contacts.”

“Like the CIA? Because I have to tell you, those three letters scare the hell out of me, Logan. Their games are deadly, and they don’t give a damn about you when all’s said and done. Rescuing missionaries is admirable, and I’ll even admit going after terrorists is necessary, but I wish it was someone besides you doing it. All your planning and training is impressive, but it didn’t save Evan, did it?”

Hurt flashed in his eyes before his face blanked. Oh God, she shouldn’t have brought that up. It sounded as if she blamed him and she didn’t. But maybe she did, a little, along with Evan for staying in the SEALs, and the military for sending him on the mission, and herself for not being enough to keep her husband at home.

She wiped away a tear that fell down her cheek. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

The last time Logan’s heart ached this badly was when Evan lay dying in his arms. Of course she was right to blame him for failing her and Evan. He choked down his regret. Later he would try to answer the two questions crowding his mind, the same ones he thought he’d put behind him. Did he deserve her, and could she ever love him after he’d failed her so spectacularly?

“No, never be afraid to speak freely with me, Dani. And to answer your question, no, to my deepest sorrow, it didn’t save Evan. I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do, but I’m going to tell you something you don’t know. That mission was doomed from the start and we all knew it. The intel was bad, the vibes were worse. None of us wanted to go, but we had orders. It was a setup by the Taliban in retaliation for killing bin Laden. That part we didn’t know until we rescued the army captain, but every one of us thought the mission smelled rotten. I . . .” He hesitated. No one outside of his team knew he’d offered them an out.

“Tell me. If anyone has a right to hear what you were about to say, it’s me.”

“After the briefing, I sat down with each team member privately and told them they didn’t have to go, that I would cover for them.”

“And, of course, not one of them accepted.”

He met the gaze of the only woman he would ever love. “No,” he said softly.

“Evan called me that morning before you guys left on the mission, and I gave him the news that I was pregnant. That should’ve been reason enough to stay behind if he believed the operation was doomed.”

Logan understood her bitterness and didn’t blame her for thinking so, but she could never understand a SEAL team’s bond. Evan would never have turned his back on his brothers. And if any one of them had agreed, Logan would have found a way to transfer them without hurting their career.

“I didn’t tell you this to hurt you. I probably shouldn’t have told you at all. We had orders and it didn’t matter that we didn’t want to go. What I want you to understand is this. I give the orders now, and if any mission smells bad, I call it off. I won’t send my men into a situation I don’t believe we can win.”

“I wish you’d had that power in Afghanistan.”

The tears pooling in her eyes tore at his heart. “And I wish I had it to do over again. I would refuse the orders as I should have then, court martial be damned.”

She swiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks. “And if you had? What would your superiors have done? Would they have found another team?”

“No, they would have removed me and put someone else in my place.”

“Evan.”

She wasn’t asking. She would have known Evan was in line for a promotion. How had the conversation veered in this direction? Maybe it was something she needed to talk about and face.

“Don’t you need to be out there in the situation room, or whatever you call it, giving orders?”

“No, my people know what to do.”

“How often do you go yourself?”

“Go where?” He knew damned well what she was asking, and the answer could erect a brick wall between them, or an even bigger wall than what already existed. Her eye roll implied he was stupid. Likely so, considering he’d fallen in love with his best friend’s wife.

Her lips turned down in a frown. “Never mind. I don’t think I want to know.”

“You know, I could walk out the door and get run over by a bus. Life is full of uncertainties.”

Her glare left no doubt of what she thought of his reasoning. “Yeah, you go do that.” She took a deep breath and let out a puff of air. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I don’t want to lose my heart to you, Logan. If I did and something happened to you, I couldn’t bear it.”

Did that mean she had feelings for him even if it wasn’t love? “What do you want?”

Her eyes shifted away, and when she turned back, the sadness was gone. “I don’t know. I won’t deny I’m attracted to you, extremely so. I think we should spend the time I’m here just enjoying each other’s company, see what happens. I refuse to allow myself to fall in love with you, though, so no need to worry there’ll be any tears or begging when all this is over.”

Did she have any idea how much her words hurt? He could have her on her terms or not at all. Could he live with that? It was very possible there would be tears and begging, but they would be from him, not her.

He shot up from the chair. Going to his desk phone, he picked it up and punched in Buchanan’s extension. “Be in my office in five with what you’ve found out so far.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

L
ogan scowled when Jake walked in with Maria at his side. “I don’t recall asking for anyone other than you,
Romeo
.”

“Oh, shut up, Logan,” his sister said.

He turned his glare on her. “Exactly when do you need to return to Tallahassee, because I gotta tell you, I can’t wait.” If for no other reason than to put distance between her and Buchanan.

Her smile was sugary sweet. “I can only guess what has you tied in knots.” She sent Dani a significant look. “I’ll be out of your hair in two weeks, dearest brother. Now, do you want to know what I’ve found? If not, then I’m outta here and off for an afternoon at the beach.”

“Brat,” he growled. He was antsy, might just crawl out of his skin, couldn’t get Dani’s words out of his head.
I refuse to allow myself to fall in love with you.
She’d suggested they just spend time together and see what happened. They were both single and there was nothing wrong with an affair. It was what men and women did, right?

At least it was what normal people did if the talk among his men was any indication. To hide the fact he’d never been with a woman, he’d learned to joke with them, sometimes claiming he had a hot date, then checking into a motel room—alone—where he’d spend the night. Not something he was proud of looking back on. Why hadn’t he manned up and just told them his personal life was none of their fucking business?

Now the opportunity to rid himself of his cherry sat next to him, and he was hesitating because he wanted love to figure into his first time. Was he being honorable or just plain stupid? He drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair, hating his indecisiveness.

Dani rested her hand over his. How did her touch calm him, and how did she know he needed calming? “What do you have, Buchanan?” he asked.

“Not much. I talked to Turner a few minutes ago, and he’s going to see a woman who used to live across the street from the Prescotts. He’ll call as soon as he meets with her. She did tell him on the phone there were twin boys.”

Dani jerked her gaze to Logan. “Evan had a twin and he’s stalking me?”

He shifted his chair to face her. “That’s what it looks like, but it appears there’s more to it.”

“Like what?”

“That’s what I’m hoping we’re about to learn. Anything else?” he asked Buchanan.

“Whoever set up the dummy companies is very clever, but we’re—no,
Maria’s
getting there.” He glanced at Dani. “Put Maria in front of a computer and there’s nothing she can’t find.”

Logan turned to Maria. “Talk to me.”

“Wait, what do you mean, dummy companies?” Dani asked.

Buchanan answered her. “When we ran our guy’s license plate number, it came back as owned by a company called Gateway, which is owned by The Way.”

“Which led me to more dummy companies: The Light and from there, Good Shepherd,” Maria inserted. “They’ve layered them one on top of the other.” She drew a square on the bottom of a page, then two squares above the one and three squares across the top, then turned the page toward Dani. “Look at it this way. The bottom square is the real thing, but they want to fly under the radar, so they created these first two companies to hide the real one. They might buy their automobiles, supplies, whatever, through these companies. But these people are paranoid, and they’ve got at least three other corporations that these first two phony ones own.”

Dani’s brows furrowed as she stared at the squares. “Those names, they feel . . . I don’t know, religious?” At Maria’s nod, the color drained from her face. “I don’t like the sound of this.”

Christ, he was an idiot. He should have told her this privately. “Neither do we, but I promise, we’ll get to the bottom of this.”

She grabbed his hand. “Why me?”

He gently squeezed her fingers. “Are you all right? Do you want some water?”

Buchanan hurried over to the mini-fridge and grabbed a bottle of Evian. Logan took it from him, twisted off the cap, and handed it to Dani. She drank about half of it down, and he was pleased to see some of the color return to her face.

“Let’s move to the conference room so everyone can sit.” Once they were settled, he asked if anyone wanted coffee.

“I could use something stronger. Got any Baileys to put in it?” Dani asked.

“Me, too,” Maria said.

Logan rolled his eyes. “Not happening, sis.”

“Black for me,” Buchanan added.

Maria turned to Dani. “Do me a favor and see if you can teach my brother how to let loose.”

“I know how,” he protested. But did he, really? He pressed the intercom. “Barbie, two coffees with Baileys, one black.” He glanced at Maria. “And one grape Kool-Aid.”

Maria threw a pencil at him. “I want a root beer, Barbie. Closest thing I’ll get to a beer until I get away from my jailer.”

“Big brother no fun?” Dani said.

Maria sent him a glare. “Not in my experience.”

Just what did she get up to at school? While the others made small talk as they waited for Barbie, Logan tried to recall a time in his life when he had played just because. There certainly hadn’t been any fun times as a child, and then he’d joined the military as soon as he was of age and most definitely there was no play there. Then he’d spent a few months recovering from being shot in the head by a faceless Taliban sniper before dedicating his time to setting up a house and business.

In a much shorter time than he’d projected, K2 was a success beyond his wildest dreams. The money was pouring in to the point where he could afford to rescue missionaries at no charge to their church. When the pastor, an ex-SEAL, had contacted him, Logan had quickly determined money was an issue when he was asked if K2 had payment plans. It had given him enormous satisfaction to be able to accept the mission at no charge to the church.

His goals had been to escape his mother, become a SEAL, own his own business, put Maria through college, and find a woman who would love only him. He’d achieved everything on his list but one thing. His gaze shifted to Dani. Until recently, she’d been off-limits—his love for her a guilty secret—and he’d accepted she would never be his. Now the unexpected had happened and there she was, something he’d never dared to dream. Where they were headed was the question, one he’d like a damn answer to.

The door opened, Ken holding it for Barbie as she entered carrying a tray. “Need anything else, boss?” Barbie asked.

“No thanks, but bring your husband in and introduce him to Dani.”

She crooked her finger, and the besotted man holding the door came to her as if pulled by an invisible string. Logan supposed he couldn’t blame Ken—every man in the building drooled over Barbie. He was the only one who didn’t understand the appeal. There was no disputing she was beautiful, but her looks reminded him of his mother.

Barbie, a head taller than her husband, draped her arm around his shoulders. “Baby doll, this is the boss’s special friend, Dani Prescott. I like her because . . . well, because we have an understanding.”

What the hell was that about?

Dani’s eyes sparkled in amusement. “That we do, Barbie,” she agreed. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ken.”

Ken slipped out from under Barbie’s arm and came around the table. He took Dani’s hand and bowed over it, air-kissing her knuckles. “You’re entirely wrong, Mrs. Prescott, the pleasure is all mine.”

Dani grinned. “You should probably let go of my hand now. Your wife packs a gun, and I don’t want her to shoot me.”

He gave a theatrical shudder. “Guns. Horrid things, but you needn’t worry. My Barbie knows my heart is hers.”

Christ, he was watching a farce. “Back to work, Ken, and take your Amazon with you.”

After the door closed behind them, Dani laughed. “Ken and Barbie?”

“It’s actually Kent, but the guys, who all have the mind of a twelve-year-old, couldn’t resist renaming him,” Maria said.

“I resemble that remark,” Buchanan declared.

A quick smile was exchanged between the two that seemed way too intimate for Logan’s liking.

“What does he do here?” Dani asked.

“He’s the best analyst I’ve ever met,” Logan said. “I’m lucky to have him. The CIA keeps trying to steal him, but fortunately for me, he’ll never leave Barbie and she swears she’ll never live anywhere she can’t wear a bikini year-round.”

He reached over and picked up one of the spiked coffees. “Now let’s get down to business so Dani and I can get out of here.” Suddenly, and more than anything, he wanted to play. With Dani. “What do you have, Maria?”

“I’ve told you the names of the companies we’ve unearthed so far, all with PO boxes for addresses and all based in Delaware. There are a lot of walls erected around each of them, but nothing I can’t get past with enough time.”

“We don’t have time,” Logan said.

“I did find a name associated with Good Shepherd, and I think they made a mistake there. It looked like they tried to remove it, but they didn’t go deep enough.”

Logan sat up. “What name?”

She rifled through some pages. “Herbert Ballard.”

Dani put her cup down. “Once, the guy who calls me, he started to say something and then stopped. He said ‘Papa Herb’ . . . but cut himself off. He even said he wasn’t supposed to say it.”

“Sounds like you hit pay dirt, Maria,” Jake said.

His sister’s eyes softened. Logan was sorry for it, but it was becoming clear he was going to have to kill Romeo. “Keep digging on the companies, Maria. And you start seeing how many Herbert Ballards you can find,” he told Buchanan. “If our bad guy is calling him Papa, it’s likely he’s older than Evan. I want both of you to copy Ken on whatever you find and let him start doing his magic. He has a way of seeing the bigger picture.”

Buchanan took his phone out and looked at it. “It’s Turner.”

Good, maybe he had some news for them. “Put him on speaker.”

“You’re on speaker, Turner,” Jake said. “The boss is here along with Maria and Dani Prescott. Learn anything new?”

There was a pause and Logan wondered if Turner was hesitant to speak while Dani was listening. He glanced at Dani and could tell she was thinking the same thing.

She leaned forward. “Hi, Jamie, long time.”

“Hey, Dani, too long. Sorry I’m not there. Would’ve loved to see you.”

“Same here, but I promise to come back sometime. Listen, they’ve been filling me in and I know Evan had a twin, so don’t worry about upsetting me with whatever you have to say.”

“Okay, I wasn’t sure how much you knew. Yeah, Evan had a twin. His name’s Eli. The old lady I talked to couldn’t remember much, but she said when the boys were about two, their father told her there had been a terrible accident, and his wife and one of the twins were killed. She didn’t know which one. He and the remaining son moved almost immediately after that. I called to check for the death certificates, and there’s no record for either one. Next, I checked the microfilm from local newspapers at that time, and there’s nothing about an accident involving them.”

Damn, he hated mysteries.

“What if . . .”

“What if?” he asked when Dani paused, her gaze distant.

“I was just thinking, what if the parents split and each took one of the boys? I could cry to think of Evan and his twin separated by a divorce.” Her eyes misted, and she blinked as she cleared her throat.

“That’s another puzzle, boss,” Jamie said. “There’s no divorce on record.”

“I think Evan truly believed his mother was dead, and he didn’t remember he had a twin,” Dani said. “He had dreams about playing with another little boy, but he just thought it was some kid he went to kindergarten with. I find it really sad that he had a brother and neither knew of the other.”

“I think Evan didn’t know, but this Eli, he knows,” Logan said.

Dani’s eyes widened. “Oh, you’re right. Does he think he’s Evan? Is that why he left Regan a teddy bear with a note that it was from Daddy? That’s just creepy.”

And fucking alarming. If they were dealing with a man not in his right mind, then there was no predicting what he would do next. Was Eli acting on his own, or was the cult involved somehow? Getting the answer was a priority.

“Anything else?” Logan asked.

“That’s all I have for now, boss, but Evan and his father moved to Austin after the supposed tragedy, so I’m figuring you want me to head there next.”

“What time’s your flight?” Logan said.

Turner chuckled. “That’s what I thought. Later, Dani. Nice hearing your voice.”

“Yours, too, Jamie. Like I said, it’s been too long.”

“Wait,” Logan said before Turner could hang up. “What did Evan’s father do for a living?”

“He was an evangelist,” Turner said.

“He was an insurance salesman,” Dani said.