Crazy for You (23 page)

And there she stayed until she feared her
salty tears would wake him, so she rolled over onto the other side
of the bed, clutched his pillow to her chest, and fell into an
exhausted sleep.

Twenty-nine

Still… Room 214, Oceanview

Bittersweet awareness crept uneasily over
Tasha as she woke. She’d slept as if her body were tied up in knots
throughout the entire fitful night. As she uncurled, she stretched
to pull the kinks out of her back, legs and arms, then slid her
hands underneath her pillow and buried her face into it again as
she slipped back into unconsciousness.

She dozed a little longer.

There was something she was supposed to do
today, she knew, but her mind just hadn’t grasped it yet.

After a few minutes, her brain began a slow
churn, and she realized that it was morning. Light from the windows
bathed her eyelids, causing them to flutter and then finally, open.
Time to get up.

It took her just a few seconds to focus her
eyes at the image laying beside her on the bed. Then everything
came rushing back to her.

Everything.

Andrew lay not ten inches away, his head
propped on bent elbow, watching her. And she suspected he had been
for quite some time.

Then she remembered what she had to do.

“Hi,” she whispered, still laying unmoving
beside him.

“Morning.” His gaze played over her face, his
lips set firm in his jaw.

“Been awake long?”

Andrew picked up a stray strand of Tasha’s
hair. He let it slide between his fingers, then with the end,
brushed it along her cheek. “Long enough to watch you sleep and
figure out a few things in the process.”

A jolt of trepidation sliced through Tasha’s
abdomen. Perhaps he’s going to be the one to do it, she thought.
Perhaps he’s going to end it now—so they can get it all over with
and forget.

Like I could ever forget.

“What things?” she queried meekly, almost
afraid to ask.

Andrew slipped his arm down to the bed and
nestled his head down on the pillow next to her. Pulling the sheet
up around them both, he settled in closer to her, his arm thrown
over her at her waist. Tasha adjusted the position of her head so
they could look directly into each other’s eyes.

“You didn’t sleep well.”

“I was tired. I don’t sleep well when I’m
overly tired.” Liar. You only sleep lousy when something’s on your
mind.

Andrew reached out and smoothed the imaginary
wrinkles in her forehead. “Your face was screwed up as tight as a
ball of string when I woke this morning.”

“I had a bad dream.” Liar. You never have bad
dreams.

“Oh? Tell me about it?” His concerned eyes
searched hers.

Tasha closed her eyes and shook her head. “I
can’t remember it,” she said quietly.

“Something bothering you, Tasha?”

There it was—her out. He’d given it to her on
a platter. All she had to do was say, “Yes, something’s bothering
me. I have to go. Not just back home, but out of your life. I can’t
ever do this again.” He was letting her off the hook.

She searched his eyes. He was waiting, daring
her to say it. To end it all right there. To cut the umbilical cord
and go their separate ways. He wanted her to do it.

“No,” she answered weakly, lying again.
“There’s nothing wrong.” Everything was wrong.

In a heartbeat, Andrew smiled and rolled her
over, flat on her back. He followed to cover her body with his.
“Good. Because I have something very important to tell you. But
first...” His lips captured hers in a sweet and urgent kiss.
Powerful and filled with deep emotion, he stirred the passion
within her alive again as he had done the night before.

Surprised, Tasha let her body get swept into
Andrew’s excitement. Her brain screamed to stop him.

He broke away, then lazily traced tiny
circles at her temples with his fingertips as his gaze played over
her face. Tasha watched his expressions turn from intense longing
to contented bliss—to something else she couldn’t quite put her
finger on.

Oh, God. No.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said quietly, then
planted another quick kiss at the base of her neck. “We’ve got one
more day here before we leave and there’s a lot we’ve got to do.
I’m going to go down and check on the bus thing in a little while
to see if Josh or Todd knows anything.”

Tasha nodded. She had no idea where this
leading.

“While I’m gone, find your plane tickets so
we can check to see if we’re on the same flight back. If we’re not,
then I want to change mine.”

“What...?” she murmured just under her
breath.

Andrew slid lower to place another kiss just
over her left breast. Looking up, he continued. “We can talk on the
plane and figure out what we’re going to do. For a while, I guess,
we can hop back and forth from Washington to Colorado, but that’s
going to get old pretty soon...as well as expensive.” He placed
another kiss over her right breast.

Tasha shook her head in confusion. She
brought her hands to his head and turned his face back up to look
at her.

“What are you saying?”

He paused a moment, “I’m saying that we need
to get organized, make plans, figure out where our lives are
going.”

Just like the assiduous businessman
would.

Stunned, Tasha dropped her hands to the bed.
“Where are our lives going?” She felt the skin over her face
tighten.

He leaned up then and rolled over to the
side, grasping her waist to him, acting as if he didn’t understand.
As if he didn’t see how troubled she was. “Well,” he rubbed his
hand against the side of her breast. “I guess that’s what we need
to talk about.”

Tasha felt her eyes open wide and her chest
heave up and then down in one huge sigh. She broke away from him
and sat up, facing him. “Andrew...I know where my life is
going.”

For the first time that morning, she saw
something that looked like fear ripple over his face. “Something
is
wrong, isn’t it.”

Tasha closed her eyes and bit her lower lip.
Sucking in a deep breath, she opened her eyes and looked at him. A
myriad of emotions wracked his face. The same ones that tore
through her heart. He knew.

Do it now.

“Andrew,” she started softly, then reached
out to touch his hand laying flat on the bed. “There will be no
plans.”

He stared at her, unmoving for a long moment.
Finally, he blinked once, then took a deep breath. “I love you,
Tasha,” he said in a hushed voice. “You mean more to me than any
woman ever has.”

The words rushed and rippled over her skin,
then buried themselves deep into her heart. Her eyes closed again
as she squeezed them, forcing her tiny tears to stay inside.
“Don’t,” she whispered.

He reached out and took her hand. The touch,
his touch, sent her spiraling.

“Don’t!” Tasha jerked back off the bed.
Andrew still lay there, a questioning expression on his face. She
looked away.

“Look at me Tasha,” his smooth voice
commanded.

She couldn’t and turned her body away. She
didn’t want him to see the tears. But he was behind her in a flash,
grasping her arm, and turning her to look at him. She didn’t have
time to wipe the tears away and couldn’t look him in the eyes.
Instead she stared into his chest.

“Look at me.”

When she didn’t, he grasped her chin and
pulled it up so her eyes were even with his. “Look at me...dammit!”
The rasp of his voice undid her more than anything. She felt
herself go limp. If his fingers weren’t digging into her upper arms
and chin, she would have fallen to the floor, she was sure.

“I said I love you. Don’t tell me not to,
Tasha, because I can’t not love you. I love you! Simple as
that.”

With an extreme amount of self control, Tasha
forced herself to keep the connection with his eyes. “We’ve only
had a few days together, Andrew. One night, really. How can you say
that you love me? There hasn’t been enough time.”

“I’ve had all the time I need. I know. I love
you.”

Her heart slammed against her chest wall. She
couldn’t look into his eyes any longer. Forcing her arms out of his
grasp, she backed away from him.

He can’t love me.

“Well, I haven’t had enough time.”

“I’ll give you all the time you need. Then I
want you to marry me.”

Horror raced through her heart.

Marry him?

She shook her head. “Impossible! I can’t live
in Seattle, Andrew. I don’t do well in cities. Besides that, I
wouldn’t fit into your world.”

“Then I’ll live in yours,” he countered
quickly.

This was going way too fast. “No. I mean. You
wouldn’t be happy there either. I live in the middle of nothing.
What would you do there? You couldn’t sell pharmaceuticals, that’s
for sure. Hell, I sell more medicinal treatments in my shop that
the drug store down the road does. There’s not a hospital within a
hundred miles. No. It wouldn’t work.”

“Then I’ll find another job.”

Exasperated, Tasha turned away from him and
rubbed her hands over her face. When she looked back over her
shoulder at him, she saw a man standing before her in
determination. A strong man, set in his ways. Traditional male.
Home. Hearth. Family. Determined. As much as she wanted at that
moment to fling herself into his arms, she knew she couldn’t. She
couldn’t give him what he needed, what he wanted. What he was
accustomed to in his life.

She could never give him the picket
fence.

It wasn’t in her. Never would be. And she
knew it. Had to accept it. And get on with her life.

Even if she loved him back.

Icy shards broke loose within her soul,
causing her to shiver. She loved him back.

I do love you, Andrew.

And all the more reason to let him go.

“No.” She turned and started to gather up her
things. “There’s not enough time to make this work.”

“I don’t mean this week, Tasha. I mean after
we leave here. I’ll give you all the time you need.” He stepped
across the room to her, grasping a hand.

Tasha jerked her hand away and glared at him.
He didn’t understand! He couldn’t just push his way into her life,
there was too much to consider. Too many things to think about. Too
much that would have to change. She didn’t want her life to change,
did she?

Confused rage built inside her. Perhaps anger
would be the only thing that would get her through this, she
thought. It was the only emotion she could grasp onto at the
moment. So she went with it.

Tasha lit into him. “A lifetime wouldn’t make
this work, Andrew! I told you this couldn’t happen. Remember? I
told you a few days ago, that after this week is over, there is no
us. That it didn’t matter what happened to us, whether we made love
or fell in love—it couldn’t leave this place.” She straightened up
to her full height and felt the fury building within her. “This is
not real. It’s a fantasy. I’m going to go home and so are you and
we’re not going to give each other another thought.
Understand?”

“And you can honestly do that?” Andrew stood
surprisingly calm in front of her. “I remember it all perfectly
well, Tasha. I’ve been up half the night thinking about it. You’re
wrong. This isn’t fantasy. This is real... What we shared, is real.
And for the record, you didn’t say anything about falling in love.
You simply said if we made love. There’s a difference.”

“No.” She backed away again, jerked the sheet
off the bed and wrapped herself up in it. “It never happened,
Andrew. It’s for the best.”

“Why are you so frightened of admitting you
feel something for me, Tasha? Why can’t you tell me you love me?
You more or less just admitted it. Why can’t you say the words? Why
are you afraid to face the reality of what we’ve shared?”

“I’m not frightened.”

“Then why don’t you look at me? Why don’t you
look me in the eye? Why are you crying?” His voice was raised in
anger this time and Tasha cringed. “Why are you suddenly wrapping
yourself up in that sheet? Don’t you want anyone but me to see you
naked anymore?” After a moment, she felt his hand on her shoulder,
and her body shuddered with a sob. “Why...?”

Why?

She spun to face him, this time she didn’t
care if he saw her tears. It didn’t matter. Nothing was going to
change the outcome of what she had to do. “Why? I should think it
would be obvious, Andrew. We’re total opposites. Our lives would
never mesh. You know as well as I that I couldn’t exist in your
world and you couldn’t exist in mine. You’d work all the time and I
wouldn’t have anything to do. We’d fight, we’d disagree, and we’d
ruin what we had here this week.

“You’re prime rib and I’m tofu. You wear
boxer shorts and most of the time I wear nothing at all. You harbor
the All-American dream, I abhor it. You’re a fine Bordeaux and I’m
homemade apple wine. We’d argue politics and religion, how to raise
our kids, and how to treat their illnesses. And the worst part
about all of this is, that we’d come to hate each other before it
was all over.”

Looking into his troubled face, Tasha
exhaled, releasing along with her tirade all the pent up emotion
she’d held inside. “And I couldn’t stand that.”

Andrew took a moment to digest what she’d
said. Tasha waited, expecting him to buck all her theories, but he
didn’t.

“I never thought you were the kind of person
to give up so easily.”

Feeling her eyes narrow, she shook her head
slightly at him. “I’m not.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“Because it’s for the best.”

“For who? You? Or are you doing this because
you think it’s best for me?”

She glanced away. “It’s best for both of
us.”

Taking her chin in his hand again, he forced
her to look at him. His voice was soft, alluring and calming, but
his words held a venom that frightened her. “Tell me you don’t love
me, Tasha. Say the words. Then I will leave here and forget all of
this. I’ll forget you. Tell me, because that’s the only way I will
do it. Otherwise, I’ll never believe you don’t want me. And I won’t
give up hope, Tasha. Until I hear the words, I will never give up
hope.”