Crazy In Love With A Thug: Bari and Seven

Crazy In Love With a Thug

Bari and Seven

By LaDonna Robinson

Dare2Bee Dramatic Publishing

PHILADELPHIA, PA

Copyright © 2015 by LaDonna Robinson

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.

Dare2Bee Dramatic Publishing

Philadelphia, PA

www.dare2beedramatic.com

Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

Book Layout: TSPUBCREATIVE.COM

Cover Design: TSPUBCREATIVE.COM

Crazy In Love With A Thug by LaDonna Robinson

Acknowledgements

I want to say thank you to Dare2Bee Dramatic Publishing for giving me a chance and Brittani Williams for going Above and Beyond. I want to thank all of my loved ones for their continued support. This book is dedicated to everyone who has ever believed in me and was touchUed by my stories or words. This is for YOU.

Chapter 1

"Why am I so dark, and Niecy and Macy get to be so light all the time? You can't even tell we're sisters. They look like yummy, fluffy banana Moon Pies. I look like the outside of an old stale Oreo. Why can't we take turns being light like we have to take turns doing everything else? It's not fair," I cried.

Tears leaked from my eyes, rolled down my cheeks, then skydived to the worn carpet below.

"Girl! Everybody do know y’all sisters!" My mother replied impatiently. "I already explained to you that Niecy and Macy are light because I'm light. You're dark because your no-good daddy is dark as midnight. You'll understand when you get a little older. Now, I don't wanna hear no more about who is dark and who is light. You gon' have to realize sooner or later that to have light skin is to be blessed beyond your dreams. To have dark skin is to be cursed beyond your worst nightmares."

So, my whole family would be blessed. Except me. I was the darkest one in the whole family; cousins, aunts and uncles included. I was even blacker than my grandfather, and he was dark. I went to my room that I shared with my sister and laid across my small bed. Niecy was ten years old, and Macy was nine. I had just turned seven a few days earlier. No one except Big Mama had even acknowledged my birthday. It was just another day to them. I blinked back the tears forming in my eyes. I was a big girl now.

Crying and carrying on would only lead to more teasing. I stared up at the ceiling that seemed more like a cap on the room, which was really no more than a large closet.

The bare bulb in the middle of the room swung on a thin cord. It looked as if I bumped it with the slightest movement it would explode and set my two ponytails aflame. It seemed to be staring at me mockingly.

"I'm light too!" It seemed to shout at me. "Get over it, kid!"

I rolled over and faced the wall and picked up my favorite book. I learned to read very well from spending so much time alone. I could read better than Macy, who was two years older than me.

"What'cha doin', Tar baby?" Niecy asked, coming in the door. "Mama said to get you ready. We're goin' to Big Mama's house for dinner tonight."

"Well, tell her I'm not goin'!"

"You better get yo' butt up, Bari! I ain't playin' wit'chu!" She raised her hand as if to hit me.

"I'm not goin'," I repeated.

"I'm tellin'!"

She ran from the room, screaming at the top of her lungs for my mother to come and discipline me for being disobedient. I blocked her voice out of my mind and got lost in my thoughts.

I snapped back to reality as I felt myself being snatched up by my arm so hard that it seemed to rip from my body and dangle unattached in her hand.

"You got one-point-nine seconds to get yo' little funny lookin' black ass in that bathroom and get ready for Big Mama's!"

"I don't wanna go," I said quietly.

"Did I ask you what you wanted to do? Well, did I?” I shook my head. "Then get yo' ass in there and get cleaned up. Little snotty-nose ass. Lookin' like a little ink spot."

Niecy thought that was the funniest thing she had ever heard. Tears formed in my eyes at the insult that came from my mother's lips. The woman who was supposed to love, nourish, nurture and protect me was often the greatest source of my pain.

I immediately fled to the comfort and coziness of the Cleaver home, where June and Ward fed me freshly baked cookies with ice-cold glasses of milk, and Wally and the Beaver welcomed me with open arms.

"You don't have to go if you don't want to, dear," June crooned to me as she stroked my hair. "I know your cousins tease you and make Jim of you for being dark. Well, you just stay right here with Ward. The rest of us will go. We'll just explain to Big Mama that you just weren’t feeling well this evening. "

"Get that dumb-ass smile off your face and quit that damn daydreaming, Bari!"

I was ripped from Mrs. Cleaver's loving arms and the delightful smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies.

Chapter 2

"What's up, Blacker than me?" My Uncle Leo asked, patting me on top of my head.

I headed to the kitchen to see Big Mama.

"Hey, Big Mama's baby! You better get on over here and give me some of that sugar!" I giggled and kissed her chubby cheek. She embraced me tightly. "How my baby doin'? I got something for you," she said, drying her hands on a towel.

She went to the oven, pulled out a cookie sheet, and rows and rows of creamy chocolate chip cookies winked their approval at me.

"Wow! Thanks, Big Mama!"

She placed a tall glass of milk in front of me and sat me at the table in the kitchen.

"You just stay right here with Big Mama and keep her company while she finishes making dinner."

I was content being in her presence. Big Mama made me feel safe. She never put me down for being darker than the rest of the family. I sat at the table savoring the rich taste of each chocolate chip as it melted on my tongue, watching Big Mama as she put sweet potato pies and a huge German Chocolate cake on the long counter in front of the window. She picked up her long handled spoon and stirred a huge cast iron pot of collard greens. I could smell the ham hocks as they danced around in the pot, making friends with the greens before it was too late for any of them. Once they all hit the table, they would not have a chance of survival.

She smiled at me as she pulled a Pyrex of homemade macaroni and cheese from the oven. Next, a giant roaster of turkey wings nestled in a meadow of cornbread dressing was set on top of the stove, alongside a honey baked ham.

"Are you hungry, baby?"

I cast my eyes downward. It seemed that lately I didn't have much of an appetite. It seemed that the dinner table in my home was the home base for humiliation and ridicule for me. Like everyone would spend all day thinking of jokes to say about me, and dinner time was for each to take their turn on center stage to see whose was the funniest. I had learned to dread taking my seat at the table, and when I did, I found myself unable to eat the food that would be placed before me.

Big Mama left everything where it was and came to sit beside me at the table, rubbing my back. Oh, how I loved Big Mama. She and June were my best friends in this big lonely world.

"You wanna tell Big Mama what's going on?"

I shook my head then began to cry as she hugged me to her huge breast.

"Big Mama, Paw-Paw sent me to get a beer." My cousin Rashon came bursting through the door and flung open the refrigerator.

"Tell Paw-Paw I sent you back. And get yo' little motley self out my kitchen," she said shortly and turned back to me. He sulked away. "Now, tell me what's wrong with Big Mama's baby."

“I'm just not hungry, Big Mama."

Paw-Paw, my grandfather, came into the kitchen, kissed Big Mama's cheek and went to the refrigerator to get the beer himself.

"Is that my favorite girl sitting there? I know it ain't ‘cause she never would have made it this far without saying hi to her Paw-Paw."

He tried to pretend like his feelings were hurt, then picked me up from Big Mama's arms and swung me high in the air. I laughed as he brought me down and hugged me against his strong body. Paw-Paw had the largest farm in the county and would often take me with him in the early mornings to feed the animals whenever I spent the night. I loved the smells, sounds and serenity the farm brought about at the crack of dawn. He deposited me back at the table, took his beer and went back to his favorite chair to watch the football game.

"Big Mama?"

"Yes, baby?"

"When I get older, will I get lighter?"

"Why are you asking such thang, child?"

"I'm cursed, Big Mama." I informed her with the seriousness of a surgeon who has decided that there's nothing else he can possibly do.

She gazed at me for a moment.

"Cursed huh? When did you find this out?"

"Just this morning. Mama told me."

"Ya mama said you're cursed?"

"Because I'm so dark," I explained through teary eyes. "She said light people are blessed, and dark people are cursed."

I jumped at the slam of the cast iron lid as it hit the pot. What does Big Mama have to be mad about? She's light, too. I admired her smooth caramel colored skin as she stormed around the kitchen spouting words that would get my mouth washed out with soap. Big Mama is my daddy's mother. He is her pride and joy and could do no wrong in her eyes. Even when he left us for the pretty white lady that Mama always called a 'ho', Big Mama had snuck and let me talk to him on the phone ‘cause Mama forbid him to have anything to do with us.

"Baby, being dark ain't no curse. Does your granddaddy seem like he's cursed?" I shook my

head. "Do you see him getting kicked by horses and beat up by pigs every time he feeds them animals?" I shook my head again as I laughed. "Baby, some of the most gifted black people in history are dark skinned. A light person ain't no more important than a dark one. Ain't nobody, light or dark, better than my baby. Do you hear me?" I nodded. "Light skin and long hair don't make the person. It's what's inside that counts. And Big Mama's baby is one of the sweetest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Okay?"

"Okay, Big Mama," I said, and laid my head back on her chest.

"Well then. Next time somebody has something to say about Big Mama's baby being dark, you tell them that Big Mama said, ‘the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice’."

Chapter 3

“That food sho'll do look good, Mama!" Said my Uncle Meestaque.

We all called him Uncle Meestake ‘cause that's what Paw-Paw said he was back when he was hooked on drugs and stole the small black and white T.V. that Paw-Paw liked to watch the morning news on out in the barn.

"Yes, it does, Big Mama. You really put your foot in it this time," Mama praised.

"Big Mama, what's this black thing?" Macy wanted to know.

We waited for everyone to finish their comments on the food so Paw-Paw could say grace.

"Lord, we thank you for this wonderful food you've blessed us with. We thank you for family and friends and the good times, Lord." I heard rustling at the table and knew that somebody had jumped the gun and thought that Paw-Paw had finished. His eyes popped open in silent admonishment. There sat the guilty party, serving spoon in hand. "Put it down," Paw Paw ordered. Uncle Meestake smiled an apology and laid the spoon back on the table. "Close them eyes back up." All around the table eyes snapped shut. "Forgive us for our rudeness and greediness, Lord. We know we have no right, but we ask you not to smite Meestake down for his blatant gluttony. And if you choose to do otherwise, Lord, we know it is out of our hands, so may your will be done." I heard someone smack their lips impatiently as Paw-Paw took a deep breath and prepared to continue the prayer. "Somebody got a problem wit' me praying to my Lord?" He asked menacingly. No one responded. "Thought not," he said and took another deep breath, since he had wasted the last one. "And Lord, we thank you for little Bari, Lord, and it is in honor of her seventh birthday that we get to enjoy the bounty of this food that you've sent our way. In your wonderful, most gracious name we pray, Amen, and nobody bet' not touch a thang 'til my baby say what she got to say."

I didn't want to say anything as I observed the glares from around the table. People were ready to eat, not listen to no amateur speech by no little black seven year old.

"She don't wanna say nothing," Uncle Leo pointed out and reached for the macaroni.

"You touch that dish, I’ll snap yo’ spine." Paw-Paw informed him. "I said nobody bet' not touch a damn thang 'til my baby say what the hell she got to say, and that's what the sam hell I meant. This is my damn house!" He slammed a meaty fist on the table. Everybody jumped. “Now, go on baby, folks is hungry." I couldn't possibly speak now. I mustered up a pitiful thank you and put my head down. "Now, y’all can eat. And don't be scraping them damn forks on the good dishes. When the plate is empty, dammit, it's empty, and you can't make no food magically appear by scraping them damn forks on the damn plates. I hate that. That's just greedy. And don't be ..."

And on and on he went, but nobody was paying him any attention. And when the forks started scraping the plates, I saw him wince and roll his eyes. I covered my mouth with my hand to hide my smile. I glanced up and saw my sister, Niecy, watching me.

"Stop staring at me, Midnight," she said.

"I wasn't looking at you."

"Yes, you were. If I can't see nothing else on your black body I can see them eyes! Stop staring at me!"

"Maybe we should turn off the lights so we can really see if she's looking at you!" Macy joined in.

"Stop staring at your sister, Bari, and eat that food," Mama said, laughing along with them.

I wanted to crawl up under that table and die.

"Y’all leave Bari alone." I was so relieved. Mama had come to my rescue. "It ain't her fault that she looks like the Ace of Spades."

Macy and Niecy almost fell off their chairs from laughing so hard.

"I know one thing," Big Mama began. Everyone at the table fell silent. No scraping forks or setting down glasses. It seemed like time had frozen. She was looking at Niecy and Macy. "I want you two to take your plates and go eat out in the barn."

"The barn? There's animals in there," Niecy explained, like Big Mama must be out of her mind.

Big Mama just looked at her. They knew better than to even attempt to talk back to Big Mama. They looked to Mama for help.

"Thank you for explaining to me what a barn is for. And since y’all wanna act like animals, you can take up house with 'em. Now, move y’all asses away from this table and take your plates out to the barn and eat."

Big Mama never used cuss words, so everyone knew she wasn't playing with them.

"You heard her! Get to movin'!" Paw-Paw roared.

They jumped up with their plates, looking back to see if Big Mama was just playing.

"I think that's a little much, Big Mama," Mama tried to reason, until she saw the look on Big Mama's face. "Don't you?"

"No, I don't. And if you got a problem with it you can take yo' ass out there, too."

"Now, wait just a minute!" Mama exclaimed, jumping up from the table.

"Why don't Big Mama's baby go in the room and eat so you can watch T.V.?"

"Come on, baby, Paw-Paw take ya. Matter of fact, all you kids come on." He led my five cousins and I to the room, thought better of going without some extra food, and grabbed a turkey wing for the road. "Somebody bring us our dessert when it's time." Paw-Paw warned.

The rest of the family immediately stood and began clearing away dishes, probably scared Big Mama would start throwing those heavy dishes at them. It wouldn't be the first time.

They needn't have sent us away. The argument could be heard from anywhere in the house.

"I have a big problem with the way you treat that child, and the way you allow your other kids to treat her. It ain't right. Telling her she's cursed, are you crazy? You won't treat no grandchild of mine like that. Make her think she just ain't nothin'. You ain't right, Boudine."

That's Mama's real name, Boudine. No wonder she's mad at the world.

"I don't need nobody tellin' me how to raise my kids! I do damn fine by my damn self! I ain't been gettin' no help from that lazy goon you call a son, I ain't been gettin' no help from nobody, but everybody has something to say about how I raise my kids! I'm sick of it!"

"You a lie, and the truth ain't nowhere in you! You know good and well Barry sends money for them kids each and every month! Ain't never missed one! My boy loves them kids! He just can't stand yo’ ass, and I don't blame him one bit!"

"He don't do nothing for nobody but hisself! Livin' up there in the white house with his white ho, his white fence, his white Cadillac, his white this, his white that, only thing black in that mutha fuckin' house is his black ashy ass! He ain't better than nobody! He don't give a damn 'bout these kids! He ain't tried to even call them kids! He forgot his own baby's birthday! Didn't even call to say happy birthday to Bari!"

"You live with her, and you didn't even tell her happy birthday! At least he tried to call her! But did you tell her he called? No! You let her believe that he didn't even care enough to call!"

"That's a lie!"

"Oh, it is, huh?" Big Mama got up and stormed across the room. Her footsteps could be heard loud and clear over the T.V. "Bari! Come here, baby!"

I tentatively looked at Paw-Paw, who shrugged his shoulders helplessly. He took my hand and walked with me to the dining room.

"What the hell is this?" Big Mama demanded, slamming first one big box upon the table, followed by five smaller ones.

They were all beautifully wrapped and tied with pretty pink, blue and yellow satin bows. I gasped at the sight. So did everyone else; including Mama. There was a knock at the door.

"Big Mama, we're finished. And we're sorry. Can we come back in now?" Niecy spoke for both of them.

Macy nodded her head in agreement, just in case Big Mama might think she hadn't learned anything at all and send her back to the barn alone.

"Apologize to your sister." They did. "Come on in now. I want you girls to see this, too."

Their eyes widened into huge saucers when they saw the gifts on the table.

"What's all this?" The other kids wanted to know. "Where'd it come from?"

"Bari," Big Mama began, pulling me up on her lap. "These are birthday presents from your daddy. He wanted more than anything for you to have them on your birthday, but when he went to take them to you, y’all wasn't home." Mama hung her head guiltily. I knew she had denied my daddy to me, and it made me angry. "Gon' and open 'em."

I looked at Niecy. She had a strange look in her eyes, directed straight at Mama. Everyone looked uncomfortable and started making excuses to leave.

"Ain't nobody goin' nowhere! This is my damn house! And if I say ain't nobody goin' nowhere then dammit ain't nobody goin' nowhere 'til I damn well say so!" Paw-Paw roared.

They all took their places back at the table and sat staring at the table cloth. All except little three year old Raeshon who promptly burst into tears and ran screaming from the room.

"The rest of you kids go on back in the room, too. I don't know how y’all got back out here anyway!"

They reluctantly left, looking back to see if there would be any action before they closed the door.

"Big Mama?"

"Yes, Niecy? What's the matter, baby?" Tears formed in Niecy's eyes and ran down her face. My own eyes filled with tears, too. I hated to see my sisters cry, no matter how mean they were to me. "Tell Big Mama what's wrong."

"This just proves what Mama has said all along," she sniffled, her voice cracking as she choked to hold back the tears. "That Bari was the only one he ever cared about 'cause she's dark like him."

She burst into tears. Paw-Paw pulled her into his arms. She sobbed on his shoulder. Mama looked like she wanted to run while the coast was clear. She couldn't even look at Big Mama, who was glaring at her like she could make her explode into a million tiny pieces.

Paw-Paw looked furious. He looked at Big Mama and nodded his head. She scooted me off her lap and walked down the hall to the closet. She came back carrying a small wooden chest with a lock on the front. She passed the chest to Mama, then handed her the key. We all waited impatiently for her to unlock it. When she did, she just stared down inside as her eyes grew wide in horror.

"Pull 'em out," Big Mama demanded. Mama glared at her indignantly. "Pull 'em out!"

Mama pushed her chair back angrily, jumped up, grabbed her purse and walked out, slamming the door behind her. Big Mama just shook her head in disgust. She looked at Niecy, then reached into the box and handed her a huge stack of envelopes. There were three stacks in all different colored envelopes and post cards. She handed one to each of us. We all looked at each other at the same time, as realization hit us. Each envelope, in each of our stacks, had one thing in common. They were all stamped with the same thing; Return to Sender.