Crazy Maybe (29 page)

My heart just broke into a million pieces.

I walk up behind him, standing close enough to feel the heat radiate from his body, but I don’t touch him.  I want him to feel my words right now.

“I was given some great advice when I was young.  I was told,
‘Once in a lifetime, you may find someone who can give you everything you’ve ever wanted.   A man who can fulfill every desire, grant every wish, provide everything in the world and make every dream come true.  Once in a lifetime, that person comes along and when you find him, you’d better hold onto him as tightly as you can.’

His shoulders slumped slightly.  I continued
talking.

“You
’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted, Luke.  All the ways you love me is more important to me than any amount of money could ever be.  You fulfill my every desire and
you
are the world to me.  I never even imagined someone as wonderful as you would be in my life.  You’ve more than made my dreams come true and what you provide me can’t be bought.

Don’t ever feel like you’re not exactly what I want or need.  And
I don’t want to hear you put yourself down like that ever again.  I don’t care about money or status or material things.  That’s not what I’m about and you really should already know that.  I love
you
, who you are and how you make me feel.”

He turns to face me and his eyes are so full of love, I can feel it reaching out and touching me.  He pulls me into his
arms and thoroughly kisses me until I feel my legs melting out from underneath me.

“I love you, Andi,” he repeats between kisses.  “I’m taking you out tonight.  Get all dressed up for me.”  He smiles as he playfully swats me on the butt and walks
off towards the bedroom.

I’m so glad that potential argument was avoided, I don’t even question his demand to get dressed up.  I’m just ready to spend some quality alone time with my man tonight!  Off to the shower I go.

LUKE

We
’re back in the same cozy restaurant where we first had dinner as friends.  I can’t believe how much has happened in our time together.  While there are things I wish I could go back and change, I wouldn’t trade one day with Andi for anything.  I knew she was special the first time I saw her. 

I didn’t know she would mean more to me than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.  More than my education, more than my boxing career, and more than my family’s acceptance.  She has shown me what true strength is and what real love is.  I can’t breathe without her.

“You look so beautiful tonight, you take my breath away.  I am the luckiest man ever.  I know I don’t deserve you, but I should warn you that I will never willingly let you go. I want you with me, Andi.  Always.”

She leans in and kisses me so gently, so sweetly, but it’s still enough to
heat me to the core.  She runs her soft hand along my jawline and her beautiful smile lights up her face.  I hold her hand in mine and just try to take in, once again, that she is real.

The words I’ve just told her
are not just pretty words and they’re not spoken lightly.  I’ve never been good at relationships and I’ve barely managed to hold this one together.  But there is one thing I know without a shadow of a doubt – there is nothing that can keep me from her side.  I would knock down the gates of hell without a second thought if that’s what it took.

I never thought
I would even consider marriage.  I’ve never been interested enough in anyone I’ve dated before to make long term plans.  There have been plenty who wanted to talk about taking me home for the holidays while it was still the middle of July.  That was enough to make me run for the damn hills.  But Andi doesn’t make me feel that way at all.

With Andi, if she said she wanted to go to a deserted island with me at the end of next year, I’d make our reservations today and count down the days until I’d have her all to myself.  She is everything I never knew I wanted, everything I never knew I needed, and more than I could ever ask for.  She gets me, she believes in me and
, my god, every way she loves me is unbelievable.  Every cell in my body is drawn to her like a magnet is dawn to steel.

The waiter is at our table delivering the bottle of champagne I pre-ordered.  I wanted it to be a surprise for Andi and I can tell it definitely is.  Her eyes widen as she looks at the champagne flutes being placed before us.  She jumps and laughs when the waiter pops the cork and I can’t help but laugh with her. 

I hand her flute to her and pick mine up.  “A toast.”

“What are we toasting to?”  She asks with a smile.

“To you, Andi.  Reclaiming your life, refusing to back down, and taking this stand to help others.  You are an inspiration to me and you make me want to be a better man.  I love you,” I clink my glass to hers.

“I love you, too, Luke,” she responds with eyes so watery it’s obvious she’s fighting back tears from my little speech.

As she places the flute on her lips, I still her hand with mine.  “One more thing before we say ‘cheers.’”

“Oh – ok – I’m sorry. I thought you were through,” she replies and her cheeks blush a beautiful shade of pink.

“I love you, Andi.  There isn’t a minute of the day that goes by without you on my mind in some way.  Even when I’m with you.  There is no other woman who can make me feel the way you do.  There is no one else who could love me the way you love me.  And, in my heart, my mind and my eyes, no one else even holds a candle to you.”

In one swift movement, I slide off of the seat and drop to one knee beside our table.  In my outstretched hand, I hold out a black velvet box. 

“Andi Morgan, will you do me the endless honor of being my wife?  Will you marry me?”

The tears can no longer be contained and are running unchecked down her beautiful face.  The light in her eyes is absolutely glowing and she is completely speechless. 
Her eyes dart quickly between looking at me, on the floor, then back to the still closed black box.  Her mouth opens and closes as if she’s trying to speak but the words will not form.

I have to admit I’m a little nervous, still here on one bent knee, and everyone aro
und watching in stunned silence.  They are also waiting for the answer Andi still hasn’t given me.  When her eyes dart back to mine, I smile warmly and invitingly as I open the box to reveal its contents. 

“I picked this one because I know how much you love vintage stores.  I’m not a diamond expert, but it has
baguette and princess cut diamonds that wrap around the caviar beaded band with a round 2-carat center stone.”

I take it out of the box and slide it on her finger
.  The size fits perfectly. She still hasn’t made a sound and I’m not certain she’s even blinked recently.

“Think I can get an answer now?”

“YES!  Yes, yes, yes!”  She screams out.  She flies into my arms and kisses me as the restaurant patrons erupt in applause.  She doesn’t stop kissing me or even flinch an acknowledgment when the evening crowd calls out their well wishes for us.

With my free hand, I grab our flutes again and we toast our
engagement.  We are still in the floor, with me down on one knee and Andi sitting on the other.  Several flashes from camera phones go off as people take our picture.  Pictures that may end up in the tabloids but I don’t even care.  At least everyone will know she is mine.

We finish our meal with several people stopping by our table to congratulate us.  My pride swells in my chest as I catch her looking at her ring in awe every couple of minutes.  Unable to stand it any longer, I break down
during dessert and ask her.

“Do you like it?  If not,
we can go exchange it for something else.  You can pick out whatever you want.”

She jerks her hand away like I’m about to take it back right now.  She exclaims, “No!  I love it – it’s perfect!”  Her perfect face
transforms into the cutest scowl as she says, “You’re not taking it back.”

I laugh and reassure her, “Ok, ok.  I won’t take it back.  I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it, Luke.  Really – it fits me perfectly in every way,” she says as she stretches out her arm, fans out her fingers and watches as the candlelight sparkles off the diamonds.  It makes me feel like man – and loved, respected, and appreciated – to know that she loves something I’ve put a lot of thought into getting her. Especially something as significant as this.

The past six months with her have been the best time of my life.  As we leave the restaurant, Andi suggests we go for a short walk.  The early October air is more crisp than usual and the slight breeze makes it the perfect weather for walking and enjoying time together.

Andi snuggles in close to me as we stroll down the sidewalk.  I spot a small deserted park with small white lights strung throughout the trees, several park benches and a few swings for kids.  The music from the restaurant nearby filters through the air, creating a romantic atmosphere.  I pull her into my arms for a slow dance in the fall air and enjoy the feel of her body pressed against mine.

I couldn’t have written a more perfect ending to this day.  The only woman I’ve ever really loved just agreed to be my wife.  She’s in my arms, pressed against my body, and looking at me like I hung the moon and stars.  Exactly the same way I’m looking at her.

“I’m ready to take you home, Ms. Morgan,” I whisper suggestively in her ear.

“I’m ready to be taken home, Mr. Woods,” she purrs back to me.   

Now
this
is the perfect ending to a perfect evening.

ANDI

The water jostles over me, sending suds cascading down my arm as I bring the glass of champagne to my lips.  Luke is settled in behind me in the oversized claw tub in my bathroom.  I’m still in shock over him asking me to marry him tonight.  There were no clues, no hints, nothing at all that gave any indication he was even thinking about it.

But I’m so beyond thrilled it’s not even funny.  I can’t wait to start planning our wedding but we probably should set a date first.  I’m determined to enjoy our engagement and not rush it no matter what.  I hope that we can finally just enjoy our time together without so many surprises and issues cropping up.

Luke’s arm wraps around me as he fully pulls me up onto his lap.  His hands cup my
breasts, the water and bubble bath acting as a lubricant on my skin and allowing his hands to smoothly glide over me.  I involuntarily arch my back and push my body into his hands.  His mouth finds mine and thoroughly kisses me senseless.

I feel his full, thick erection between my legs and I know he’s ready for me.  As ready as I am for him and I absolutely cannot wait one more second.  I take him in my hand and guide him to my entrance.  His hands find my hips and he helps raise me until I’m positioned to take him fully inside me.

I slide down him, feeling him stretch and fill me completely, until he is fully seated inside me.  We begin moving in tandem.  Our bodies find that perfect rhythm, enticing and seducing us as the pressure builds higher and higher inside.  I feel his hips buck beneath me as he pushes more of himself deep inside me. 

I snake my hand up and around his head, fisting the hair on the back of his head and crying out in pure pleasure.  He turns my face to him and covers my mouth with his.  His tongue dives deep inside and
he moans into my mouth.  His fingers tighten on my hips, pushing me down as his hips push up over and over again.  I’m suddenly screaming his name out in ecstasy when I hear the low rumble of his masculine grunt in my ear as he joins me.

After draining the water, Luke lifts me from the tub, dries me off and carries me in his arms to the bed.  He lays me down and covers my body with his. 
Nudging my legs apart with his knee, he settles in between my legs, pelvis to pelvis.  He spends several long minutes lovingly kissing me – on my face, my mouth, my neck and making his way lower and lower – until my whole body has been sufficiently worshipped by his mouth.

Hours and several lovemaking sessions later, we fall asleep in each other arms feeling completely sated.  Just before I succumb to sleep, I hear him whisper so softly, “I don’t deserve you.  But I can never let you go.”

I wake up and see that Luke is still sound asleep.  The thought that he’s no doubt still tired from all his hard work last night brings a huge smile to my face.  I stroll into the kitchen, start the coffee brewing and begin to make our breakfast.   

Several minutes later, when everything is almost ready, Luke stumbles in, yawning and running his fingers through his bed hair.  Even like this, first thing in the morning and barely awake, he is the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.  My heart skips a beat every time I see him walking towards me, just from knowing he’s mine.

He wraps his arms around me and lowers his head to kiss me.  As we end the kiss, I see one hand sneak behind me to grab a piece of bacon.  I playfully admonish him for it and he laughs as he gets plates out for us.  I realize that I could do this for the rest of my life and be completely happy.

As soon as we finish breakfast, Luke’s phone starts ringing and then mine.  We each answer and immediately look at each other.  It seems our dinner was indeed fodder for the tabloids and our picture has been all over the news this morning.  Our friends and family call one after the other to confirm the news is true and to congratulate us. 
Apparently there was at least one rumor that I am pregnant because Linda demanded to know if we were really having a baby.

“Do I look fat?”  I asked, as I turn sideways and examine my stomach in the full length mirror.

“No, you don’t look fat.  At all.  Why would you even think that?”  Luke asks.

“Because they said I’m pregnant!  Do I
look
pregnant?”  I poke my stomach out and pull my shirt tight against me.  “That’s it.  I’m exercising more.”

Luke laughs and tackles me to the couch.  “Exercise all you want – you’re not fat.  You’re
fine
, woman!”

Now the world knows we’re engaged and they all think I’m fat and pregnant.  Nice.

The rest of the week is pretty much the same. More pictures of Luke and me at the restaurant.  All different, unflattering angles and more speculation of why he proposed.  So many vicious rumors about us both and most of them are not even based on a sliver of truth. 
Bastards.

The promotional ads for the talk show have started.  Thankfully they had already recorded the ads or I’m sure they would be littered with these recent pictures and rumors, too.  For now anyway, the ads only show me at my birthday celebration and, of course, the psychiatric hospital pictures.  I hope Jackson is shitting his pants right now.

I’m on my way to the broadcasting studio now so I know the ads will change soon.  We film today, they quickly edit and then the show airs a week from today.  They will redo the ads to include clips from the interview, and I’m sure, pictures of our dinner where Luke proposed.

I’m in the waiting room and the staff are buzzing around me.  One offered me coffee or water.  Another is updating my makeup and hair.  Yet another adds a little more volume to my hair and makes sure I’m overall acceptable for the cameras.  I did notice that no one came right out and asked, but they all looked at my stomach. 
They
all think I’m fat and pregnant, too.

Before the studio audience is brought in, the host
of the talk show, Lindsey Blair, explains how everything will be handled.  She will make the introductions and I will enter from the side of the stage on her cue.  She has a list of pre-printed questions that I have about an hour to review. 

She will then open up the floor to the audience to ask me questions directly.  Only the best questions and answers will be used in the final edited version of the show.  I remind her that I have final executive say on the editing of all questions and answers.  She doesn’t like it but she concedes.

Her assistant just knocked on my door to alert me of the two minutes mark.  I wipe my sweaty palms on a towel and walk the long corridor to the backstage area alone.  I stop to listen to her introduction of me.

“Joining me today is Andi Morgan, daughter of the late Max and Katie Morgan.  Andi officially inherited the lucrative MaxMorgan Music on her recent 25
th
birthday and reportedly sold it for billions.  Andi still maintains her position at the
Tough Enough
gym and also volunteers at a local youth center. 

Andi
became instantly famous after the release of
these
pictures of her in a psychiatric hospital at the young age of 15 and the amazing behind the scenes story of why she was hospitalized.  Andi is here to tell us the shocking story in her own words.  Please join me in welcoming Andi Morgan to
The Lindsay Blair Show
.”

The crowd applauds and I walk across the stage with a smile plastered to my face.  I give a small wave to the crowd as I pass by, shake Lindsay’s hand and take my seat beside her.  Her smile is warm and friendly, but the deep-rooted ambition is evident in her eyes.  She wants the story, the scoop, the exclusive – she wants the recognition of being a tough interviewer.  I’m about to give her the story of her life.

“Andi, welcome to the show.  We had so many people who wanted to be part of the audience today that we couldn’t take them all.  That has never happened before.  Needless to say, there are a lot of people who are interested in your story.  So, for the sake of time, let’s get started.

Tell us, Andi.  Did you attempt to murder your foster father?”

That question was not on the list she gave me not an hour before.  The gleam in her eyes says she knows she’s thrown me a curve ball and she’s sure I will strike out.

Guess again, girlie.

“Yes.  I certainly did,” I reply matter-of-factly.  Then I smile knowingly at her as her jaw drops open and she stammers for the next question.

“Care to elaborate?”

I was expecting something much more hard hitting from this
Barbara Walters wanna-be
, but this question actually puts me in a much better position to tell the entire story first and then let others ask me specific questions.

So I start from the very beginning of what I consider my story, my parent’s death, and walk them through every step of my life until today.  I held nothing back
.  I told them all about my mom’s cousin giving up to the state and being bounced to the numerous foster homes. 

I explained how and why I ended up in the psychiatric hospital, why I applied for legal emancipation and how Mack took Shane and
me under his wing.  I even told them the reason for all my tattoos, the color in my hair and the youth center.

I ended my story with telling him about Luke proposing to me in
our
restaurant.  By the end of my life-story recount, Lindsay had tears in
her
eyes and several people in the audience were audibly crying and sniffling. 

Lindsay grabbed and squeezed my hand in a show of support and solidarity.  When I realized she was still unable to speak, I continued filling in the silence.

“I’d like to share with you why Shane Fowler has recently become a target of a vicious campaign to ruin his career.  Shane has been like a brother to me and has only ever protected me.  What he has been accused of is absolutely completely false and has been orchestrated specifically to make me keep my secrets.

The man I admittedly stabbed is a high-ranking political figure.  He was at the time it happened and is even more so now.  When I walked in that room and found him raping that little girl,” I have to stop and take a steadying breath before I can finish this sentence, “I decided right then that I would never back down from protecting the innocent.

If I give in to his demands.  If I let him get away with this without telling the truth – no matter what it costs me – I will be as much to blame as he is.  I will have helped him hurt innocent people and I can’t live with that.”

Lindsay finally finds her voice.  “What do you hope to gain by telling your story today, Andi?”

“My hope is that others will see him for what he really is.  I have to believe that as his victims come forward, they will find strength in knowing they’re not alone.  I want them to see that they can help put an end to the years of terror and pain he’s inflicted on them.”

The crowd erupts in applause and many people jump to their feet.  Lindsay wipes a tear away and rises to take the microphone to the audience for their questions.
  There are so many questions from the audience that Lindsay and her producers decide to post the complete, unedited version on their website as a marketing test tool.  After more than two hours of questions and answers, Lindsay finally wraps up the show. 

Many people come forward to share their story of past abuse.  They talk to me about what an inspiration I am for standing up to someone who has used his power to do so much evil.  I thank them for their kind words and inwardly wonder what kind of evil will now be unleased on everyone I know.

LUKE

While Andi’s at the talk show interview, I
make a life changing decision to pursue a change in career.  Again.  She’s too good of a person to hold it against me, but my lack of direction and success is disturbing to me.  I don’t want to depend on her and her inheritance to live on.  I want to be able to provide for my wife and my family.  That is, when we decide to have one.

And there are things about my past that I have to come to terms with.  I have to find a way to move past this and quit mind-fucking myself over it.  The truth is I’m afraid I will lose Andi if she
realizes out what a screw-up I really am.  I want her to be proud of me and proud to be my wife.