Creed of Redemption (S.I.N. Rock Star Trilogy #2) (25 page)

“Why would you keep this from me?” Our guys have been creeping out at night for some extracurricular activity and I didn’t even know about it. We’ve been on the road for a few weeks now and I didn’t think the guys were living out the full experience. I thought they were keeping things tame for our sake, and they were. They just moved shit to another bus. Well played Xander. I know he’s behind this. “Lily?”

“I’m sorry, Lourdes. It really has been a while since the guys visited the other bus. Last night was the first time since before our conversation.” Then it hits me. What’s she’s not saying.

“Diesel went on the other bus last night? After I was asleep?” The conversation she is referring to is when she said she would cover for Diesel and me if needed. The fact that she didn’t say anything means she thinks he was screwing someone else on that bus.

“I’m sure it was nothing,” she explains. “It’s just their time away from the estrogen on this bus.”

“Really? Did Xander go too?” She shakes her head no, and I can feel my face getting hot. Diesel has been flirting with me like crazy. The sexual tension between us has been off the charts, only he’s had a way to release his. Why wouldn’t he fuck someone else? I want to storm that other bus and demand he tell me what game he’s playing. He sang that fucking song for me and gets me all emotionally invested again only to go do God knows what on the fucking groupie bus. Tears stream down my face and I don’t bother wiping them away. “You should have told me Lily. I thought you said that I had you. I thought you said you were my friend.”

“That’s not fair. I’m your friend.” She tries to reach for me, but I step back. “You don’t know if anything happened. Reckless Ambition is on the bus so maybe they just hung out last night”

“So why didn’t Xander go? Answer that. He didn’t want to piss you off because I’m sure he knew exactly what was going down on the other bus. My God. Fucking Ivy is over there. The one person who has made it known that she fucked Diesel.” My tears fall harder at the cracking of my voice. I feel so stupid right now.

“Please Lourdes—” Lily tries, but I flip her off. A real friend wouldn’t let me look stupid.

“Go to the store by yourself. Ask Gus or Stewart to help you. I’m done.”

I don’t stick around for her response. I leave her standing there. I retreat to the bedroom and slam the door. Once I’m behind closed doors, I allow myself to fall apart. It’s true what they say about highs. What goes up, eventually comes down—except I’ve fucking come crashing down. Now I’ve trapped myself in the very room with all of our damn memories. I take a seat on the floor on the other side of the bed and bring my knees to my chest. Sobs wrack my body from the unfairness of it all. I know I can’t expect him to wait around for me when there is an invitation to pussy right on the next bus.

I don’t know how long I’m on the floor balling my eyes out before there is a bang on the door. “Lourdes, open this damn door.” It’s Diesel. So now Lily decides to have a big mouth. I don’t move from my spot here on the floor, nor do I answer him. “I swear I will break this fucking door down. Either open it now or we’ll both have some explaining to do—your choice.”

I don’t know what all Lily told him, but he has some nerve. Fuck him. He wants in here so bad, then so be it. I’ll leave. I pull myself off the floor and open the door. I try to storm past him, but he pushes his way in and slams the door behind him.

“What the fuck? You got something you want to ask me?” he huffs. He’s pissed, but so am I.

“I don’t have shit to ask you,” I retort. I try again to move past him, but he grabs me by the wrists.

“I’m not going to let you fucking do this. Not this time.” His eyes pin me to the spot.

“Not going to let me do what, Diesel?” Fresh tears trail down the path of the dried ones. I see his eyes soften, but I don’t want his pity.

“Run. I’m not going to let you run from me again. Since you won’t ask, then I’ll tell you. Yes. I joined the guys on the other bus last night. We just talked shit and hung out. Yes, there was groupie pussy in the mix, but I didn’t partake. Ivy didn’t join the guys until this morning, but even if she had been on the bus, I wouldn’t have fucked her either. Don’t you get it yet?” He wipes my tears and kisses me softly on the lips. I want to hold on to the anger. Deep down, I feel like he’s telling me the truth, so why is it so hard to let it go? “I know what you need,” he whispers.

He tries to deepen the kiss, but I don’t let him in. He steps back and pulls his shirt off over his head. My traitorous eyes peruse his body. He takes my hands and puts them on the button of his jeans after he locks the door.

“Take what’s yours, Lourdes. Free your cock, baby. It’s been waiting for you and only you.” His words shatter my resolve. My nimble fingers undo the button. I don’t even ask about the guys. I don’t care if we get caught. I need this hurt to go away. I unzip him and free his already hard cock from confinement. As usual, he’s commando. The urge to take him into my mouth is the same every time I get a look at how beautiful it is. I drop to my knees, but he pulls me back up. “I said I know what you need. Let me show you.”

When I don’t move he begins to undress me slowly. It doesn’t take him long to rid me of my ratty t-shirt and leggings. I try to help him by removing my panties and bra, but he stills my hands. “What—” I begin, and he silences me with a single finger to my lips.

“Leave them. I like the white lace. So innocent looking, but what I want to do to you is anything but.” He smirks wickedly. “Get on the bed. I’m going to fuck any doubt you may have right out of your mind.” He’s standing there with his jeans open and his hand around his cock. He strokes himself, and I’m hypnotized by the act. It’s so fucking hot. I get on the bed, getting wetter by the minute watching him. “Now lie back and massage your clit. I want to see you play.”

I don’t know if I can do this. He wants to watch me masturbate? “Come on, baby,” I hear him say. His voice encourages me to let go so I lay back and close my eyes. “That’s it.” His lust spurs me on. My hands inch toward the spot where he wants them. I’ve never had an audience so I’m a little nervous. I rub my clit slowly, trying to think about Diesel’s eyes on me. With my own eyes closed, I try to imagine that I’m alone in this room.

“
Mmmm
,” I moan. With each pass of my finger, it becomes slicker.

“Holy fuck, baby,” Diesel growls. “I thought I could just watch for a bit but, fuck, I can’t.” He peels off his jeans and in an instant my legs surround his waist. He slams into me and there is no build up. He fucks me savagely, driving deeper with each stroke. He leans down and take my mouth in a punishing kiss as we both race toward our orgasms. I palm his ass to make him go even deeper.

“Dieseeeeel…” I come so hard around his cock that I milk his release from him too. I can feel him throbbing inside me. My legs begin to tremble and it’s as if my orgasm rolls on and on. We lay there motionless for several minutes with him still inside. When he finally pulls out, I feel bereft. I want to hold on to this moment. I don’t want to go back to pretending for the guys. I grab his arm and I know he feels it too.

“I have to go, baby. Lily convinced the guys that they had too much shit on their list for her to get, after she texted me and told me that you were upset. I knew she was creating a window for us to talk,” Diesel shares.

“Except we haven’t gotten much talking done,” I point out. I may have been a little hard on Lily. It’s like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop—waiting for Diesel to grow bored with the secrecy and move on. I took that out on her because I couldn’t address the real issue.

“Didn’t need much talking. All you need to know is that you don’t have anything to worry about. I’m not labeling anything, but I only want you. My dick wants you, too, so I’ll just let him do the talking for now,” he jokes. “But seriously, I need to get back to the store before they start checking out. Can I get you anything?”

“Nope. I’m good. I just got what I wanted,” I assure him. This is what I needed. I needed his reassurance. We don’t have to put a title on it. Knowing that he wants me is enough. I’m okay with taking things slow. Our past makes it hard to trust, but if we’re meant to be together it will happen. For now, I just want this with him. Whatever
“this”
is.

“Good. No doubts, okay? If anything ever changes, I’ll let you know. What I want is on this bus not the other way around,” he assures. He kisses me on the forehead before cleaning himself up in the bathroom. When he leaves, I go and draw myself a bath. I’m not ready to leave our bubble.

I
’m helping the guys put the groceries away when I look over at the television and see my face on it. Not only mine, but Sevyn is right next to me on the screen.
What the fuck?

“Hey, turn that up,” Xander tells Lourdes, who is closest to the television. I can’t find my fucking phone fast enough to call Sevyn. It rings in my hand as I pull it out of my pocket. I see that he is calling me.

“Are you watching the news?” I ask before he can get any words out.

“Yeah. I don’t know what to do. It’s all out, man. The whole fucking plan,” he swears.

“Where are you now?” I have to think of something quick. I’m only catching the end of the news, but I know it’s bad. The fucking headlines read Twins plotting to takeover Beck Investments. How in the hell did this get out?

“I had just left the office. I can’t go back now. Our father is due back tomorrow and I pretty sure he has already gotten the call,” Sevyn says. “What the hell are we going to do?”

“Right now we need to just get you here. Don’t go back to the office and don’t say shit to anyone. Stay away from the reporters.” We decide that he is going to meet us in Houston since we’re almost there. We’re supposed to have a show there tomorrow night.

“What the hell is going on?” Gable asks once I end the call with my brother.

I have no choice but to try to fix this. I have to come clean because now my face is all over the media. I don’t know how much of our plan is blown, but I have to get in front of this.

“Sevyn and I had a plan to take over our father’s company,” I begin and the room goes quiet. Keyser turns off the TV.

“Tell us everything, man,” he encourages. I don’t want to keep telling my fucked-up story, but they’re involved now. I’ve brought the band into this mess. I sit down on the sofa and they take seats around me. I know I need to come clean now, but I hate reliving this shit. I hate having to tell them I’m the fucking son that Claude didn’t want—the fuck up that couldn’t do anything right. I don’t want to admit I got thrown out on my ass at the age of seventeen. It fucking destroyed me. The D/s shit that Melissa introduced me to saved my life. I was able to take control over my life back. It kept me from acting out, getting into drugs or gangs. I had another outlet. They don’t need to know all of that, but this whole fucking story takes me back to a place I don’t want to visit.

I sit here with my head in my hands. Just thinking about this shit being exposed for the world to see has me seeing red. I don’t need people’s fucking judgments or pity. My eyes are closed, but I can feel them waiting for me to tell them what’s going on.

Then I feel her hands on my back. The gesture is simple yet comforting. “Let’s give him some time, guys. He’ll tell us when he’s ready,” I hear Lourdes say. “Diesel, you don’t have to do this now. We can wait.” She knows some of the story but not all of it. I didn’t tell her about Melissa or the plan I had in place with my brother. All she knows about is the abandonment part. I don’t say shit. I just sit here unable to move. The weight of my reality sits heavy on my shoulders.

“I agree,” Lily seconds.

“We’ll be back. Come on Diesel,” she says pulling me up. I let her, but then I try to let go of her hand. I don’t think she realizes how this looks.

“It’s okay, Lourdes. I just need a minute.” I try again to remove my hand from hers but she clenches tighter.

“Nonsense—” she insists, but Xander cuts her off.

“Lourdes, what are you doing? He’s telling you nicely that he needs a minute. Let him go.” She drops my hand and her gaze falls to the floor.