Criminal: A Bad-Boy Stepbrother Romance (22 page)

What am I doing? Why does my heart keep tugging me
towards pain?

But for the first time in so long, I find a restful
sleep, a smile upon my lips and the image of Kaiden in the front of
my mind.

The drive is long, giving me ample time to fret about
what I'm doing. What choices I'm making.

I could've just flown, but I was afraid that I'd get
there and be stuck with no way out, and I wanted options. That was
worth the extra time.

Plus, it gave me an opportunity to mull over in my
head precisely what I'm going to say to him. Or, more accurately,
what he's planning on saying to me.

He wouldn't invite you all the way out here if it
wasn't for a good reason
, I remind myself, and I know it's true.

For all the things I could say about Kaiden, he
wouldn't waste my time and my energy like this unless it was
important. He has something planned, I just don't know what.

He made it pretty clear that being with him is
too
dangerous
for me to handle, and now that I have a baby on the
way?

Do I really want to get involved with the life he
leads?

But then, he did go back to the old home, away from
all of his 'friends' and associates, and he gave away his nest egg.
But wouldn't that just make him want to break the law more?

I didn't bother asking what job he was working at
when I came to see him because I was afraid of the answer.

Is that the life you want, Abigail?
I ask
myself, and I don't honestly know the answer to that. I'm getting
close to the lake, and the beauty of the location manages to quiet my
thoughts for a few blissful moments. There's a certain serenity to
it, a peacefulness, and excitement and fear can't completely quash
that.

We never had a cabin up here, we weren't as lucky as
that, but there was a rental that our parents' friends had once in a
while at the east end of the lake, and I drove the mildly familiar
roads towards it.

I had dressed in a simple pair of pants and a
sweater, knowing the lake would be cool this time of year, but I have
the window down, the breeze blowing in my face. I never managed to
get used to the brown hair and went back to blonde once more a few
days after I saw Kaiden.

Maybe he just reminded me of who I was, and I like
that girl. I don't want to be someone else.

And for all he's done... I don't want him to be
someone else either.

But when I pull up in the driveway, and see him
standing there in a fitted suit, my mouth hangs open in shock.

He still has the tattoos, still has the piercings and
that deadly seductive glint in his eyes, but he's cleaned up, his
hair slicked back, and my panties instantly grow wetter.

"Fucking Kaiden," I mutter to myself under
my breath as he comes to the door, opening it for me and offering me
his hand.

"Princess," he greets me, his dark voice so
rich and alluring, "your Prince Charming has been waiting."

I have to bite down on my lower lip to keep it from
trembling, blinking more rapidly to keep the tears from building in
the corner of my eyes. The sun is beginning to set, the clouds in the
sky turning beautiful pink and purples, only highlighting how much
like a fairy tale this feels like.

He wraps his fingers within mine, guiding me towards
the boat that waited for us at the docks. It isn't the same one that
we'd been in all those years ago, but it's close. Small and intimate.

He hands me a life jacket, and I laugh, but the look
he gives me says not to protest, and I put it on, watching him do the
same. It's funny to me to see him being so cautious, especially after
all we've been through.

He helps me into the boat, following after me, our
knees brushing against one another's as he begins to row us out. He's
been silent, and I don't know what to say. I'm a bit apprehensive
about being away from dry land, but the water is a brilliant purple,
the color of the sky reflected back at us, trees all around and
giving us some privacy.

It's not until we're a good ways from shore that he
puts aside the oars and looks at me earnestly.

"I owe you an explanation."

"You do," I say, though I'm having a harder
time being upset with him.

His being my Prince Charming, my hero... it brings
back so many powerful memories, so many memories I'd tried to bury
over the years.

"I thought I was protecting you. That's why I
ran. This time, the last time... I didn't want to corrupt you, drag
you down with me, Abby. Look at me. I'm a mess without you," he
says, nervously running his hand through his hair. It's endearing to
see him so addled, though I try not to show it.

Instead, I just stare, waiting for him to continue.

"When I left, you were still just a kid. It
would've been wrong to stay, to believe that there could've been
something between us."

"I was fifteen, Kaiden," I say with a roll
of my eyes, "and you were only eighteen. We were both just
kids."

"Yea, well, most people aren't going to look at
it that way. Especially since... us... we were never supposed to be.
Can you imagine what our parents would have said?"

"I try not to," I admit.

"Exactly! And the people of the town? They'd
look at me like I was some... predator. So I left, I did the right
thing, Abby. I wanted to give you a chance, to be your own person. To
find a guy your own age and..."

"And what?"

"I don't know, get together, fall in love. The
things you're supposed to do."

Tears flood my eyes, and I don't know if I'm angry,
hurt, or just sad.

"I was already in love."

"A crush," he says, brushing it off.
"That's... that's all I thought it was, and if I was gone, then
you could move on."

My lower lip trembles, but he doesn't stop.

"But I couldn't get you off my mind, and I got
fired from my first job. That's when Ryder found me. I was desperate
not to come back, not to ruin your life, and he took advantage of
that. Groomed me to be his right-hand man, taught me everything he
knew. I was only working with him a year when he took me out into the
desert and made me watch him shoot his last second, Abby. After that,
I knew I couldn't come back and lead him to you."

That was why he stopped visiting?

He reaches out, touching my knee, and I suck in a
breath.

"So I did what I had to. I survived, and I tried
to find pleasure where I could, but you don't know how bad I wanted
to just come home. I told them... I told them my family was all dead.
I don't know if they believed me, but that's why I didn't stay after
the funeral. It... it was why I didn't want you to live with me, but
I just couldn't stand the thought of you being homeless and without
anything," he says, his voice breaking.

"I agreed to take the fall for him because I
thought it would be easier for all of us. Easier for me. I was
selfish. I thought it would make it easier not to see you, but it
didn't. Abby, every day since I left home," he says, leaning in,
his hand touching my face and wiping away a tear I didn't know had
fallen, "all I could think about was you. The way you make me
feel."

My lip trembles, and his thumb traces along it.

"Axel told me I had to kill Ryder in order to
rescue you, to get out of these charges. That was the deal, but when
I got to the house, I couldn't do it. I was trying to figure
something else out when Ryder came up behind me. He knocked me out,
and the only reason he didn't shoot me was because he said I wasn't
worthy of a quick death. That I wasn't half the man his old partner
was."

Kaiden's breathing grows heavier, his voice turning
husky.

"He tied me up, started cutting me. Said he was
going to pull my guts out all slow like, but he must've still been on
some powerful sedatives, because his knots were sloppy and I was able
to get out and kill him before he got that far."

He licks his lips, his tongue ring glinting and
teasing me for a second.

"Axel said he'd let you and me go, scot-free,
but Abby, these aren't the people that let things go. This will
always be over my head. Always."

I look at him, tears blurring my vision.

"I don't care," I whimper, and he leans in,
his hand still caressing my face tenderly. "I don't care about
any of that, I just want you! I've always wanted you!"

He shakes his head, and he sounds so sad.

"Abby, I'm not the man you deserve. I can never
be your hero, not after what I've done. Not after the things I've had
to do."

But I lean in, and I do the thing that I should've
done all those years ago.

I kiss him.

Salty tears are shared between us, but I don't care.
I can't resist him anymore, I can't deny my feelings and what I want.
I tried, and he tried, and we both ended up miserable and shattered
fragments of ourselves.

He holds me to him, his hand lacing into my hair as
he kisses me with such urgency and passion.

"I should have kissed you that day," he
murmurs as we pull apart, his green eyes locked on mine. "I
should've just given in. We're no good apart, Princess. Well, I mean,
you've done great, but I'm not great apart from you," he says,
and I can't help but let out a laugh.

The sun has disappeared, leaving behind a surreal
glint to the world as the stars begin to flicker into the night sky,
the moon burning bright.

"I can't... I can't handle this alone, Abby. I
can't be the man I want to be without you by my side," he says,
and he shifts, reaching for something behind him that I hadn't
noticed before. It's a small little velvet bag, and he hands it to
me.

"Abigail, I know people won't understand us. I
know people won't get why we were or how, and they might think
we're... sick freaks for what we feel. But I know you don't care, and
I don't care. I can't keep you safe if I don't know where you are,
and I... There's no light or joy in my life without you, Princess."

I open the little bag and gasp.

A ring?

I pull it out, staring at him with my mouth dropped
open. The diamond is round and huge, a classic shape.

"This... is my mom's first wedding ring,"
he admits, licking his beautiful lips nervously. "She put it in
storage once she married your dad, but she could never give it away.
For all my mom and your dad had, he was her first love, and it meant
a lot to her. I think it's only suiting that I give it to you,"
he says before shifting.

The boat rocks, and his hands go to either side of my
hips, holding me steady as he gets down on one knee.

"Abigail... will you-"

"Yes!" I cry out, wrapping my arms around
him, the sudden shift nearly toppling the boat over, and he hugs me
tight to his broad chest. I put the ring on my finger, and it glints
in the dusky light, looking so elegant and refined.

And then his mouth is on mine, covering me with
kisses, his tongue lashing against me, and we're both instantly
slaves to the thing we'd denied and run from for so long.