Crimson and Clover (30 page)

Exhaling through her nose, Katie fought back her anger and subdued it. “Yeah, well. It’s over, okay? Stop with the self-flagellation because it’s not helping anything. Besides, it was Adam more than you or Nicky that really hurt him. And that’s my fault.”

With his forefinger, he pulled her sunglasses down far enough to see her eyes. “How is that your fault?”

“They were best friends until I came along, remember?” She pushed her shades back up her nose. “You were there; you saw it.”

“Yeah.” Stuart nodded with a thoughtful frown. “Jay was always coming around whenever Wonderkind was in town. They were tight. But, Katie, none of that was your fault. I mean, I know Adam thought y’all were the next Scarlett and Rhett or whatever, but you couldn’t have … ”

“No,” she interrupted. “I don’t think that was it at all. I mean, Adam
was
jealous, but not because Jay took me from him. It was because I took Jay from him.”

“Huh?”

Katie laughed at his perplexed expression. “I don’t mean Adam was in love with Jay or anything. But after Jay and I … well, Jay spent all his free time with me. Yes, he and Adam had the band, but Jay didn’t go around with Adam the way he used to. We spent our time alone, or with Maureen and Nicks. Now, part of that was Adam’s fault because of the way he acted, but … Stuart, he missed his friend.” She bit her lip. “After I came along, Adam got pushed out, shoved aside. They’d been friends since school, even though Jay was a couple years ahead of Adam. But all of a sudden it changed. Jay all but ignored him except as a member of Shadowed Knight, and even then he couldn’t get past the fact that Adam lied to him about me. But if you look at it from Adam’s point of view, I showed up and it wiped out years of friendship just like that.” She snapped her fingers in illustration.

“And he took it out on Jay by busting up the only thing Jay cared about besides you.”

Katie nodded. “The band, yeah. I hope the son of a bitch is happy because he evidently managed to bust up me and Jay, too.”

“This is really a drag, man.” Stuart ran a hand through his hair. “What are you going to do?”

She sat up and smiled. “I’m going to close up this big old house and get the hell out of Dodge, that’s what.”

“Oh, yeah?” His eyebrows rose in interest. “Where you headed?”

“Funny enough, I think I’m going back to California. Not San Francisco, but further down the coast.” She tilted her head. “I kind of want to be near the ocean for a while.”

Stuart nodded. “I can dig that. And hey; if you ever want company, you know who to call, right?”

She laughed and gave him a light push on his shoulder. “I’ll let you know.”

The sun glinted off the waves of the Pacific, silhouetting the dancing figures of Lindsay and Miranda Majors on the beach. Katie and Maureen sat under the shelter of a beach umbrella, keeping a close eye on the children and talking contentedly of nothing.

Maureen and the twins were Katie’s first visitors and she was grateful for their company. She’d been busy the first month, finding the house and getting settled. Once moved in, she’d felt the old sadness threatening to overtake her and called Maureen. The Majors arrived on Katie’s doorstep a week later, and they’d been in constant motion ever since.

“Lindsay,” Maureen bellowed. “That’s far enough!”

Katie watched the little boy make his reluctant way closer to shore, his green plastic inflatable swim ring bouncing around his waist. Miranda, who didn’t like the water, was constructing a sand castle, her fuchsia ruffled swimsuit a bright spot of color on the monochrome beach.

“Never a dull moment, is there?” Katie remarked.

“Never,” Maureen agreed, tucking a bottle of extra-strength Coppertone back in her bag. She’d slathered the children with it before turning them loose to play. “I feel for their teacher this fall when they start nursery school. She’ll have her hands full.”

Katie leaned back on her elbows and thrust her legs from under the umbrella’s shade. The sun felt good on her skin and she wriggled her toes. “What are you going to do with yourself all day when they start school?”

“I’ve got it all planned.” Maureen eyed Katie’s feet and pulled her wide-brimmed hat forward lest any stray rays of sun encroach under the umbrella and mar her English rose complexion. “For the first week I plan to sit.”

“Sit?” Katie turned toward her with a bemused frown.

“That’s right, just sit. For hours at a time with no one yelling ‘Mummy!’, or screaming, or crying.” Maureen pushed her sunglasses up her nose with her forefinger. “The next week I’ll go into the loo, close the door and listen to the silence of no one trying to get in.” Ignoring Katie’s peals of laughter, she continued. “I’m even contemplating learning how to have a telephone conversation without any interruptions. I know I did it at one time and I’m hoping I’ve not forgot how.” She shook her head at Katie. “You think I’m having you on, but I’m serious.”

“I know you are,” Katie said, her laughter beginning to die down into a series of giggles. “That’s why it’s so funny.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love them to pieces, but … ” Maureen’s voice sharpened. “Who’s that dog?”

“Dog?” Confused by the abrupt change in the conversation, Katie sat up and looked around to see a black and white Border collie heading at top speed toward Miranda and Lindsay. She relaxed and put a hand on Maureen’s stiff arm. “It’s okay, it’s just Barney.”

“He’s safe, then?” Maureen’s voice was still wary, but she relaxed as Barney gave Miranda’s face a thorough licking before splashing into the shallows to offer Lindsay a proper greeting.

“He’s fine. He belongs to the man next door.” The man in question hove into sight at that moment, attempting to call Barney back.

Miranda had forgotten her dislike of water in the excitement of having of a dog to play with and charged into the ocean after Barney.

The twins followed the dog back to the beach as Barney gave himself a vigorous shake, dousing his owner and the children with the water from his saturated coat. Katie’s neighbor looked toward the beach. “Sorry about that, ladies. I’m afraid the kiddies smell like wet dog now.”

“That’s okay,” Maureen called back. “It’s better than some things they’ve come home smelling of.”

The man brushed the back of hand over his clothes as if to remove the dog-scented water. He gave Katie and Maureen a rueful smile. “Looks like I smell like wet dog, too.” He took Barney’s collar in a firm grasp. “Guess it’s the shower for me.” He nodded and led the dog back the way they’d come, the children calling goodbyes after them.

Maureen stood and brushed sand from her backside. “Better get those two hooligans into a bath, too. Maybe it’ll settle them down. I want to get them in bed early tonight.”

“Yeah, you’ve got an early flight tomorrow.” Katie stood up and began wrestling with the beach umbrella.

“Auntie Kate! Auntie Kate!”

She turned and smiled at the twins. “What is it, poppets?”

Lindsay scowled. “I’m not a poppet. I’m a boy!”

Miranda ignored her brother’s dissatisfaction in favor of imparting their original message. “Auntie Kate, you need to get a dog.”

“Oh, no, I don’t.” Katie grunted in surprise as the umbrella closed suddenly. “I’ve got quite enough on my plate taking care of myself. A dog’s the last thing I need.” She began wrapping the blue and white striped canvas around the pole.

“I’m going to ask Daddy to get us a dog when we get back from Italy,” Lindsay pronounced. “A big dog like that one.”

“Never gonna happen,” Maureen said with authority. “And if Daddy gets one, I’ll wring his neck.”

Katie smiled and hoisted the umbrella over her shoulder as they started toward the house. To say she’d been surprised when Maureen told her she and Nicky were both taking the children on holiday would be an understatement. But in spite of her surprise, she was happy for them. They still loved each other and Nicky had promised to keep his pants zipped when he wasn’t with Maureen. Katie had her fingers crossed for them.

The ringing of the telephone greeted them as they opened the sliding glass doors off the deck and Miranda won the race to answer it.

“H’lo?” she breathed into the receiver. “This is Miranda Majors, who’s this?” The answer she received made her little face light up with joy. “Uncle Adam!” She paused to listen to Adam’s reply, and then launched into a soliloquy. “Yes, Mummy’s here and Lindsay, and Auntie Kate needs to get a dog, just like that big dog we played with on the beach and we’re going to Italy with Daddy, but first we went to Disneyland and the beach and the place with lions,
real
lions, Uncle Adam, and … ”

Maureen interrupted the flow of words. “Does Uncle Adam want to speak with Auntie Kate?”

“Do you want to speak with Auntie Kate?” Miranda asked obediently. “Okay, here she is.” Without further ado, she handed the phone to Katie. “It’s for you.”

Maureen sighed, grabbed each twin by a shoulder and herded them down the hallway. “Ugh, you both smell like wet dog. Into the bath with you, now.”

Bemused, Katie put the phone to her ear. “Hi, Adam.”

“Exactly like her mother, isn’t she?”

“Carbon copy. How are you?”

“I’m super,” Adam replied. “I was actually calling to see if you wanted some company, but it looks like you’ve got your hands full already.”

“They’re leaving in the morning. When were you thinking of coming?”

Adam cleared his throat. “Thursday. But if it’d be too much trouble … ”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Adam.” Katie smiled. “Actually, I’d like to see you.”

“Really? Well, then … I guess I’ll see you Thursday.”

• • •

The twins had recently decided the only food they liked was beans and toast. As a consequence, their supper was finished in short order and they fell asleep soon after, worn out from a hard day of play.

Katie grilled steaks on the deck while Maureen baked potatoes and the two women enjoyed a leisurely meal, uninterrupted by squabbles and children. They sat dawdling over glasses of wine, unwilling to start the chore of cleaning up the kitchen.

“So Adam’s coming for a visit?” Maureen asked.

“Mm-hm.” Katie poured more wine for both of them. “Thursday, he said.”

Maureen gave Katie a shrewd look. “He and Carlee split up, you know.”

“I know,” Katie replied. “Jesus, Maureen, after all these years you’re still trying to pimp me out!”

Maureen made a face. “I’m not pimping you out. I just think it’s unhealthy the only other person you’ve had in your bed for almost six months is me. And you and Adam did get on quite well at one time, you know.”

Katie shook her head and twirled her glass by the stem, watching the merlot swirl around the goblet. “And if you’ll remember, he never really floated my boat in that department. Sex with Adam was like eating Chinese food; it fills you up right away, but an hour later you’re hungry again.”

When Maureen didn’t reply, Katie looked up to find her gazing out the glass door with a slight frown. When she spoke, her voice was soft and thoughtful. “I know he wasn’t as good as Jay.” She turned her gaze to Katie and looked her in the eye. “No one was.” Now it was Katie’s turn to look out toward the ocean. “But it wasn’t all bad, you know. And I think Adam fancies you.”

Katie took a deep breath. “If he does, that’s one more reason not to do anything foolish. It wouldn’t be fair to use him just so I could get my jollies.”

“I didn’t think of it that way.” Maureen nodded. “And he does tend to get too attached. But you’re right. I just worry about you, you know?”

Katie smiled and put her hand over Maureen’s, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m fine, Maur. Really.”

Maureen’s blue eyes were filled with concern. “Really?”

“Really.” Katie nodded and squeezed Maureen’s hand again for emphasis. “I’m not great, but I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Blinking hard, Maureen tossed her head and made a poor attempt at a smile. “Yes, I do. Especially since I’m responsible for your being alone.”

Katie felt her eyes widen with shock. “How the hell do you figure that? Have you had too much sun or something?”

“Katie, you know it’s true.” Maureen swallowed heavily. “I didn’t believe you when you told me Jay needed you to be with him. I just dismissed it because I was still brassed off at Nicks.” She wiped under her eyes with her napkin. “I kept you with me and working with MKS instead of going to him. So he thought you didn’t want him or care about him, and he left.”

“Absolutely not!” Katie leaned forward and slapped her hand on the table for emphasis. “At the end of the day, it was my decision not to leave you in the lurch. No, listen to me. No matter what you might have said or done, I was the one who decided to stay instead of going to be with him. And what’s more, it was Jay’s decision to leave me for whatever stupid, twisted reason he might have had. It’s all down to the choices he and I made, nothing you did. Do you hear me? It is not your fault.”

“Thank you, love.” Maureen’s sigh held a definite note of relief. “I’ve felt so horrible about it and kept thinking if I’d done things differently it wouldn’t have ended this way.”

“It was my decision,” Katie repeated. “You should know by now that I’m a stubborn bitch who has to learn the hard way.”

Maureen clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle. “That’s true, then. But there’s nothing you can do about the fact that I’m going to worry about you. Someone has to, after all.” She jumped up and gathered their plates and utensils. Katie smiled and joined her friend at the sink.

“Thank you.” Katie put her arm around Maureen’s shoulders. “It’s nice to have someone worrying about me.”

Maureen dropped the forks with a clatter and turned to take Katie in her arms. The two friends stood for some time holding each other, taking and giving comfort like they had so many times before. At length they separated, laughed a bit, and completed the chore of cleaning the kitchen before heading for bed.

• • •

Katie hadn’t been lying when she told Adam she wanted to see him, but she couldn’t help feeling apprehensive about his visit. He arrived late on a Thursday afternoon, bounding into the house with an energy and cheerfulness she hadn’t seen from him since she’d met him in Libby’s pub in the summer of 1968. This attitude caused her misgivings to fade away, leaving her relieved and optimistic.