Authors: Grace Livingston Hill
“But I’m not back, Cousin Carolyn. I just ran in to get a few things I needed, and then I’m going on. I was about to write you a little note and say good-bye. I’m going back to Carrollton, and I’m not sure just how long I shall be gone. It depends on circumstances, but I shall stay for the weekend, anyway, and perhaps longer. I’ll let you know.”
“Carrollton! Why, Laurel, that’s absurd! That little old dinky town! You’ll be missing so many worthwhile affairs. Did you have a lovely time at Adrian’s party last night? I was so sorry not to have been back to see you start off. I think it’s just ideal that Adrian is so attentive. I couldn’t have asked anything better for you. He is a darling! And that annual party of his at his hunt club is quite famous. I felt that your fortune was simply made when you got an invitation to that. Wasn’t it marvelous?”
“Why, I didn’t go to the party, Carolyn. I had trouble with my car and couldn’t get it repaired till it was too late.”
“You didn’t
go!
Why, how perfectly
dreadful!
How disastrous! Yes, that’s the right word, Laurel,
disastrous!
That party has been the talk of the social world ever since Adrian grew up. It’s always in the society column, and your name was listed among the guests. Why, how perfectly
awful!
couldn’t you come home on the train or a bus? And why on earth did you go way off on a day like that when you were invited to such an important party?”
“Oh, I didn’t know it was especially important, Carolyn. I really didn’t think much about it. I called up of course and explained to him.”
“But wasn’t he furious?”
“Why, he said he was sorry of course. And I said I was sorry I couldn’t get there.”
“But didn’t he offer to send someone after you?”
“Oh yes, but I couldn’t let him go to all that trouble. In fact, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go, anyway.”
“You weren’t sure you
wanted
to go! When Adrian Faber is the most eligible young man in the city and you’ve got him really interested! You must be
crazy!
I declare you certainly are ungrateful. Here I offer you a home and all its advantages and introduce you to the best people, and you treat the cream of the lot that way! Run off where you couldn’t get back in time for the most interesting social event of the season. I’m sure I don’t see why I should put myself out for you any longer when you act like that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Carolyn. I didn’t know you felt that way about this particular affair, or I would not have gone, of course. But you see, I didn’t realize that you cared so much. I know you have been most kind, and it was just because I wanted to arrange to relieve you of the burden of looking after me that I went away yesterday. I heard of a possible job, and I went to inquire about it. If I were permanently independent, earning my own living, I wouldn’t have to be such a burden on you. I could come and see you for a little visit now and then, but you wouldn’t feel so much responsibility for me. You’ve been sweet, I know, and I do appreciate what you’ve done—”
“Now look here, Laurel, that’s ridiculous! The idea of your getting a job! What would your father and mother say to that, I’d like to know? And just when you’re probably in a position to marry one of the richest and most eligible men we know. How utterly absurd! What was the matter? Did Adrian and you have a quarrel? Did you make him upset with your ridiculous idea that you won’t drink? It’s very silly for you to start in and try to make him over before you’re sure of him. After you’re married, that’s all well enough, but I’m telling you, Adrian has a mind of his own, and you
can’t
make over a man of the world. Certainly not until you are sure you have a good hold on him!”
“What on earth can you mean? I have no desire to have a hold on Adrian Faber, and I do
not
wish to marry him!” And suddenly as she spoke, Laurel knew that it was true! She did not wish to marry Adrian Faber. The knowledge came like a light in the dark and troubled sky of her mind, and she felt a sudden freedom, a great release from ideas that had been trying to get possession of her. Just since yesterday the horizon had cleared and she could read her future and know what she wanted it to be. Certainly what she did
not
want it to contain.
But her cousin stood there and gazed at her as if she had suddenly lost her mind.
“Are you
crazy?
Don’t you know he is
fabulously
wealthy? Don’t you know that if you married him you would never need to want for
anything
that you could not have?”
Laurel turned a bright face toward her infuriated relative. “Except one thing, Cousin Carolyn.”
“One thing. What do you mean?”
“Happiness.” There was a clear conviction in Laurel’s tone.
“Happiness! Why, you silly girl! Who wouldn’t be happy with all the money they wanted and a devoted husband to please your every whim?”
“I
wouldn’t, Cousin Carolyn! There’s something very essential that you have left out.”
“And what is that?”
“Love, Cousin Carolyn.”
“
Love!
You poor blind little goose! Don’t you know that he loves the very ground you walk on? He simply
worships
you. I’ve watched him when he looks at you. It’s as plain as the nose on your face. He loves you with all his heart!”
“Perhaps,” said Laurel serenely, “but you see, I don’t love
him!
And there can’t be any right kind of a marriage without love on both sides!”
“Fiddlesticks!” said Cousin Carolyn. “Who taught you a fallacy like that, I should like to know?”
“My mother,” said Laurel steadily, looking straight into her cousin’s eyes.
“Your
mother!”
gasped Cousin Carolyn. “Why, you weren’t old enough to talk about such things when she died. She
couldn’t
have talked that way to you when you were a mere child. And I’m dead certain she would never have meant to prejudice you against a promising marriage like this.”
“Yes, she talked that way to me, Cousin Carolyn! She told me to remember that no marriage would be happy if there were not love on
both
sides. And I’m sure she would not have let wealth weigh in, in a matter like this. She said that money was not the greatest thing in the world.”
“Oh yes? Well, that was easy enough for her to say. She always had plenty of money for any whim she chose to indulge. She never knew what it was like to scrimp and save in order to get a new evening dress or a mink coat. Your father was a rich man, Laurel, and you were brought up with expensive tastes. You’ve got to think of that when you come to picking out the man you want to marry, and you ought to be glad enough when you find a rich one who is ready to fall at your feet.”
“I’m sorry, Cousin Carolyn, but I don’t agree with you, and I’m not trying to ‘pick out’ a man to marry. I’m not going around trying to ensnare
anybody
, as you suggest, nor to get a rich husband. When the right one comes and we love each other,
if
he’s a good man who has a right to marry me, that will be a different matter. But unless that happens, I’ll go free and unmarried and try to like it. That’s the philosophy my mother taught me. And now, Cousin Carolyn, I’m terribly sorry to disappoint you after all your kindness, but I’m going away, and you won’t need to worry about me anymore. I’m going among some of Mother’s old friends, people that my father trusted, and I’ll be perfectly safe.”
“But you can’t just visit your mother’s old friends forever,” said the cousin with scornful eyes. “You’ll
have
to get married sometime, you know. And you may never find such a husband as Adrian.”
“No, I don’t
have
to get married
ever
unless I want to,” said Laurel with a lift of her chin that seemed like a challenge. “Why do you say I’ll
have
to get married sometime?”
“Why, Laurel, be sensible! Who would support you? You have nothing of your own—or, that is, practically nothing. Who do you think would support you? Goodness knows
I
can’t. John’s very likely to lose his job and have to take a less lucrative one, and Grandma Howson has just enough to get along on as it is. So, of course you’ll find out what you have done—probably when it’s too late! But honestly, who do you think will support you if you don’t get married? I’ve been doing everything I knew how to make a good marriage possible for you, and you act this way!”
Laurel gave her cousin a look of amused astonishment. “For heaven’s sake, Carolyn, I’ll support
myself
, of course. What did you think? I certainly never would have come here at all if I had known that you had any such idea. I only came for a little visit, anyway, and it is high time I was leaving if you’ve got an idea you have to bring in suitable husbands for me to get me off your hands.”
“Now, Laurel, it isn’t like you to be bitter and resentful,” said the indignant cousin. “You’ve lost your head and your temper. You will regret this, Laurel, and be writing and asking me to forgive you and let you come back.”
“Sorry, Carolyn, I’ll ask you to forgive me now if I’ve done anything that has hurt you, but honestly I don’t
want
to come back. I’ve definitely decided that this kind of life is not for me. Now don’t let us part in anger. Kiss me good-bye, dear. I’ve got to go now, but I’ll be writing you when I get located, and let you know where I am.”
Laurel put her arms softly about her cousin’s neck and pressed a gentle kiss on the cold, haughty cheek, and then, picking up her handbag and her little overnight bag, she hurried out the side door to the garage, got into her car, and drove away to meet Phil Pilgrim down in front of the post office.
Cousin Carolyn heard the car go down the drive and waited an instant for it to stop in front of the door. Surely Laurel wouldn’t go off permanently that way. Surely she would return and try to argue the matter out, and she of course would be able to show her how impossible it was for her to run away from such great opportunities as were opening up before her. Surely she would be able to make her understand, too, how mortifying it would be to herself to have such a thing happen, after this precious prince of an Adrian had given signs that he was more than pleased with her and was ready to let it be known that he had a special possessive right in her. Surely—
She listened, but Laurel’s car went right on down the street. It did not stop! And Cousin Carolyn rushed to the front door and began waving her napkin, which she had snatched from the dining table, frantically.
“Laurel! Laurel!” she called, her voice rising above its usual ladylike cadence. But Laurel’s car had turned the corner, and she was on her way to meet Phil Pilgrim, her heart singing for no reason she could even try to understand just then.
And in a moment or two, Cousin Carolyn became aware of a pompous neighbor who had stopped in his daily promenade around the block with his daughter’s two Pekingese pups. Lifting his hat, he gracefully inquired if there was anything the matter, and where
was
Miss Laurel? Could he do anything about it? Which way did she go?
“But I don’t see her car anywhere, Miss Carolyn,” he said, flustered almost to confusion. “Where do you think she has gone? Would you like me to go into the house to the phone and call the police?”
And then Cousin Carolyn became aware of other neighbors looking out their front doors and a general flutter of excitement in the street, and was suddenly aware of her curlers and hairnet as she had arranged it before bed last night.
“Oh no, thank you,” she managed in her most approved manner, “it’s really of no consequence whatever. Just a little matter that was forgotten, but it will do when she returns.”
And then Cousin Carolyn retired behind a firmly closed and locked front door and went without breakfast back to her room to reflect on what a very foolish girl had done to spoil her best laid plans to bring affluence into the family.
But Laurel was sitting in front of the new post office watching for Phil Pilgrim.
L
aurel parked her car in a vacant space before the new post office and sat watching for the approach of Pilgrim, thinking over the twenty-four hours since she had started out toward Carrollton in search of that position as a teacher in the high school. Suppose she could be set back twenty-four hours, and knowing all that would occur, what she would go through, what she would find in the woods, on the highway, in town, in the office of the school board, and all that she would now leave behind in the city and miss out of her life afterward, would she have gone? She looked the question firmly in the face with the echo of Cousin Carolyn’s last few paragraphs still ringing in her ears, and answered in her heart promptly, firmly, eagerly that she would.
No, she was not sorry that she had taken the step. Uncertain as she had been when she started, she would not go back if she could, now, and have it undone. She was glad she had gone. Glad she had signed the contract and agreed to take the position in the Carrollton high school, glad she had packed her belongings and faced her cousin, and started. It might not turn out to have been the finest thing she could have done, but she had no regrets. Not even when she thought of Adrian’s wealth. She did not care whether she ever saw Adrian Faber again or not, except perhaps to apologize again for having deserted the party at the last minute. In fact, she preferred not to have to, for she was morally sure that even if she got in touch with him if only by telephone, he would somehow contrive to hinder her and coax her into something, and she did not wish to be annoyed that way now. Also there was another thought. She had something pleasant to finish, the time for which would soon pass by and might never return her way, and she simply must not let anything hinder her in it. She would not have missed knowing Phil Pilgrim for anything else the world could hold. So she waited in her seat and kept well to the side of her car, not putting herself in a position to be readily recognized by anyone she knew who might be passing, and faced the thought.
She had never known any young man exactly like Phil Pilgrim, and she wanted to study him, to find out if he was really what he seemed. She must. She felt it was imperative and would have a bearing on all such questions as she had just been discussing with her aristocratic cousin. And to her mind, there came a memory of his sunny smile that seemed to tangle in her heartstrings and create a lovely song.