Cross My Heart (19 page)

She reached for his shirt and tugged it over his head. “You can have a key. And you can slip into my bed anytime, day or night. For the next two weeks I’m yours.”

His eyes heated. “I still have one night of vacation left. Can I spend it here?”

“Right here?” she murmured, running her hands down his bare chest.

“Well...maybe upstairs. Your bed would be more comfortable for what I have in mind. What would you think about making love for the next twelve hours?”

She pretended to think about it. “Hmm. What about meals?”

“We’ll eat in. Chinese. Pizza. Whatever you want.”

She grinned, suddenly exhilarated. “Sold.”

He managed to stand up with her in his arms, and she grabbed on to his shoulders as he carried her towards the stairs.

A little voice whispered inside her that she was making a mistake. That their plan would backfire. That two weeks of this, of him, would only make her want more.

He tossed her naked onto her bed, and paused only to shuck off his jeans and boxers before joining her there.

It would be all right, she reassured herself. They’d have their two weeks, and then find a way to move on. She’d be leaving a week or two after that. And Claire would be here, so Michael would be busy, too.

They’d found a way back to friendship after their one-night stand, and they could do it again. And maybe Michael was right. Maybe if they got this crazy lust out of their systems, it would actually be easier.

He was kissing his way down her body like she was an oasis and he was a man dying of thirst. Need swept through her and she moved restlessly under him, her hands on his broad back and then in his hair as he moved lower.

She felt herself surrendering to the moment, and to Michael. Whatever the future held, for right now, nothing else existed.

***

Michael wasn’t surprised at how good the sex was. The two of them were like gasoline and matches, and their physical relationship just kept getting better.

What did surprise him was how easily they adapted to each other.

As he’d predicted, his schedule that first week was hectic. On Saturday afternoon he was called in for emergency surgery, and he didn’t leave the hospital until three-thirty in the morning.

On the drive home he figured he’d give Jenna a break and sleep in his own bed. He was tired, and the two of them had spent Friday and most of Saturday together. Considering that, and the two weeks they had to look forward to, he could afford to show a little restraint tonight.

He was at his door when he paused and looked over at her house. It was dark, of course. Jenna had probably gone to bed hours ago. He pictured her curled up on her side, sleeping. Her black hair would be spread out against the white sheets, her body warm, her lips parted...

The key she’d given him was burning a hole in his pocket. Without stopping to think he crossed the lawn to her house and let himself in quietly, making his way upstairs and standing in her bedroom doorway.

She was even more beautiful than in his fantasy. He undressed down to his boxers, and lifted the sheet to crawl in beside her.

He moved as quietly as he could but she stirred and woke, turning to nestle herself against him. “How did the surgery go?” she asked sleepily.

He kissed the top of her head. “Touch and go for a while, but we pulled him through. How about you? How was your night?”

She rested her head against his bare chest. “It was good. I’ve got all these songs running through my head, which hasn’t happened to me in years. So I decided to spend some quality time with my guitar and see if I could turn some of the ideas into music.”

He ran a hand down her back, tucking her more securely against him. “That’s great. I’d love to hear what you’re working on some time.”

“Mmm,” she murmured, and he realized she was falling back asleep. He stroked her hair softly until he fell asleep himself.

They woke up making love. One minute they were sleeping and the next they were kissing, bodies pressed together and hands everywhere, his boxers and her panties cast aside. He rolled her onto her back and slid inside her, and the little sounds she made as she clutched at his shoulders made him lose his mind.

Afterwards they lay in each other’s arms, their legs tangled together and her head cradled against his shoulder. He would have been happy to stay like that all morning, but it was only a few minutes before Jenna gave him a quick kiss and slid out of bed. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got this damn song in my head and I won’t have any peace until I get it down on paper. Do you mind if I head down to the living room and work for a while? You should probably try to get some more sleep anyway. You only got a few hours.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m up now.” He paused. “I could bring my laptop over and do some work of my own. Or would that distract you?”

“No, not at all. That’s a great idea. I’ll put some coffee on, if you like.”

“Sounds perfect. I’ll be back soon.”

It felt good to work in Jenna’s living room. He sat on an overstuffed chair with his computer, working on an article he was submitting that week. Jenna sat on the floor with her back to the couch, frowning as she scribbled words and music into a notebook, occasionally stopping to try out passages on her guitar.

Every so often he looked up from the computer screen, and let his gaze rest on her. Looking at her focused him, made his thoughts flow more easily. Almost before he realized it three hours had gone by and he’d written two thousand words.

Then his pager went off.

“Got to go,” he said after he called the hospital. “They’re prepping a patient for me.” He went to Jenna and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I wanted to cook dinner for you tonight, but I don’t have any idea when I’ll be back.”

She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. And, anyway, I’m meeting the band tonight. I might be back later than you.”

“That’s right, I forgot. I hope you have a good rehearsal.”

She looped an arm around his neck and pulled him down for a real kiss. “Thanks. Good luck at the hospital, Michael. I’ll be thinking of you.”

Her words warmed him. “I’ll be thinking of you, too.”

Surgery went well, and he was back by eight o’clock that night. Jenna’s car was gone and he knew it might be several hours before she was back from rehearsal.

He made himself dinner and went to bed early, figuring they could spend tonight apart since he hadn’t been able to stay away from her last night.

He woke several hours later to the sound of the doorbell ringing.

He lay awake for a moment, disoriented, before he threw on his robe and went downstairs.

The bell rang again just before he got to the door. When he opened it, Jenna was there.

“Hi,” she said, leaning against the doorframe and smiling at him.

“Hi,” he said, his body tightening at the sight of her. “What time is it?”

“Much too late for a visit. How was your surgery?”

“It went well.” He pulled her inside and shut the door behind her. “So, what brings you here? Is there something I can...do for you?”

She grinned at him. “I’m sure I can think of something. I would have let myself in and crawled into your bed, but you didn’t give me a key. That doesn’t seem fair, does it? I gave you a key to my place. Shouldn’t I have a key to yours?”

He scooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs to his bedroom. “You’re right, it is unfair. You should definitely have a key. I don’t want anything to stand in the way of you crawling into my bed.”

He laid her down gently and kissed her. “How was rehearsal?”

She arched up into his kiss. “Good. Really good.” She sighed. “So good it’s messing with my head a little.”

He settled himself next to her, lying on his side and pillowing his head on his arm. His free hand moved slowly down her body, shaping itself to her contours. “Messing with your head how?”

“I’d forgotten how much fun it is.”

“And that’s bad?”

“Not exactly. It’s just...” she shifted restlessly, and he let his hand settle on her hip, relaxing her. “It just makes me think about roads not taken. About where the Mollies might be now if we hadn’t broken up.” She sighed again. “If I hadn’t broken us up.”

His hand tightened on her unconsciously, and she glanced at him. “I don’t regret leaving Derek,” she said, and he realized she’d both sensed his tension and recognized the cause. “But maybe I shouldn’t have left the Mollies.”

He took his hand away from her hip and stroked her hair. “Don’t look backwards. That never does any good. Think about the future instead. Is there a chance the Mollies could get back together? Is that something you might want?”

She frowned. “I don’t know. I just...don’t know. I’m looking forward to the job in L.A. But the way the music came together tonight...”

She turned her head to look at him. “I guess I’m just...confused. Everything seems so fluid right now, like I could go in a hundred different directions. And I’m afraid to choose one path, because it might be the wrong one.” She bit her lip and looked away. “I was lying in bed thinking about it, and I realized there was only one thing I knew for sure I wanted. And that was to come over here. To be with you.”

He closed his eyes, wishing her words didn’t make him feel so damn hopeful.

“I’m glad you came,” was all he said.

She was still turned away from him, so he bent to kiss the side of her neck, just below her ear. Every inch of her was soft and smooth, but this place was exquisite. He tasted the faint tang of soap and the sweetness of wildflowers, and her scent went to his head and his heart and his groin, just like it always did.

He felt her shiver. Then she twisted around so she was facing him again, sliding her arms around his waist as she pressed her lips to his.

From that moment on, they spent every free minute together.

They talked about everything. Of course, almost from the moment he’d met her, he’d told Jenna things he’d never told anyone else. But now he found himself telling her darker things, things he’d almost forgotten himself. He told her about the first time he’d lost a patient. He told her about his childhood. And he talked about Claire, his fears and uncertainties about being a father.

She always made him feel better, just by listening. And her perspective on things was so unique, so different from his...she always gave him something new to think about.

He’d never shared any of that stuff with Angela. He’d never leaned on her for anything. He’d wanted to be her knight in shining armor, to give her a life free from worry or doubt. He’d been afraid that if he let her see his weaknesses, it might undermine her confidence in him.

He was starting to realize now that in his desire to protect Angela, he’d kept her from being a real partner in their marriage.

It was ironic that Jenna was teaching him what a relationship between equals was like, considering that his feelings for her were more primitive and possessive than anything he’d ever felt in his life. But he also trusted her. She knew his strengths and his weaknesses, just as he knew hers.

Of course none of that would stop Jenna from leaving him. But he’d known that from the beginning, and somehow he’d find a way to accept it.

Because he had to.

Chapter Eleven

The days slipped past too quickly. Jenna wished she could hang on to each moment, the days filled with music and teaching and the nights filled with Michael. She started resenting the need for sleep, staying awake one night to watch him sleep, instead—the way he’d watched her their first night together.

But no matter how hard she tried to slow the passing of time, the last day arrived anyway. Summer camp was over, and Claire was flying in tomorrow morning. As thrilled as Jenna was that Michael’s daughter was coming back, she couldn’t help but feel an ache of regret that her time with him would soon be over.

It was early afternoon and she was sitting on her patio with a book. After getting half a dozen new songs sketched out in the last ten days, she actually needed a break from music.

But she didn’t need a break from Michael. The truth was, she wasn’t ready for things between them to end.

Their plan had been to get their desire for each other out of their systems. To let the fire between them burn out.

In her case, at least, the plan was a miserable failure. Not only was she more attracted to him than ever, but she’d discovered more pleasure in his company than she’d ever felt with anyone.

After that first day, they’d fallen into the habit of working together in the evenings when Michael was home—he on the computer and she on the guitar. There was something effortlessly harmonious about pursuing their separate projects in each other’s company. Her creativity seemed to flow more freely when he was around, as though his quiet presence stimulated her. And he’d told her once that he always seemed to get twice as much done at her place, even though he never lasted more than a couple of hours before scooping her up and carrying her off to bed.

She loved their time in bed, too—not just the sex, although that was incredible, but also the hours they spent talking. She was still amazed at how easily they talked to each other, considering how unlike they were in so many ways. But behind the differences in their childhoods and temperaments and careers, there was a deeper affinity that made those differences seem to fit together, like puzzle pieces. She loved putting half-formed ideas in front of him and letting his clear-headed, scientific mind go to work on them...and he seemed equally stimulated by her more intuitive, non-linear approach.

When she thought about all the ways she enjoyed being with him, about the different layers of intimacy that had opened up between them, it was hard to think about being just friends again.

But Claire was coming back. She wouldn’t feel right seeing Michael secretly, without telling his daughter—and she wouldn’t feel right telling Claire about their relationship, either, knowing that she was leaving so soon.

Unless, of course, she stayed.

It wasn’t the first time that thought had occurred to her. But every time she got to that point, she reminded herself that parts of her nature would always pull her away from Iowa—and Michael.