Read Crossing Values Online

Authors: Carrie Daws

Tags: #General Fiction

Crossing Values (7 page)

BOOK: Crossing Values
6.63Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

“Oh, dear one,” said Faye. “I am so terribly sorry.” Faye grabbed Amber’s hands and squeezed gently.

“What happened after that, Amber?” said Peter.

Amber looked at him, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. “Dad didn’t know what to do after Cassie died. He started drinking. Mom wasn’t doing well with the pregnancy, and after Keith was born, she was pretty sick for a while. Dad started missing work and after a few months, he was fired. We lost the house and had to move in with Mom’s parents. After that, Dad got worse. He was always so angry.”

Amber got quiet for a moment, lost in her memories.

“So one day you left and never looked back,” said Peter.

Amber nodded in agreement. Looking down at Faye’s hand covering her own, she continued. “I’ve worked all kinds of odd jobs, mostly cheap restaurants. Coworkers would normally let me sleep on their couch or sometimes give me a room in exchange for rent when the job paid better. Occasionally a boss would let me sleep in a back room. But I’ve stayed on the move. I couldn’t risk caring about people. I didn’t trust them to be the same the next day.”

“When my Jamie died, I lost my mind for a while too,” said Faye. “I hurt so bad, felt so lonely in my own home surrounded by Frank and my other kids. But the reality was that I was angry at God. At His audacity of taking the precious child He’d given me to watch over. I’m sure I was awful to live with around that time. People in pain frequently are. Unfortunately, knowing why someone hurts doesn’t always make the pain they cause us any easier to take. You had to figure out how to deal with your own pain of losing Cassie, as well as everything your daddy was throwing at you.”

“I know I’m not much for words,” said Frank, “but I’ll tell you this. You fit in here with us and you are dear to my heart. As far as I’m concerned, that room upstairs is yours for as long as you’re a-wantin’ it.”

Amber smiled appreciatively at Frank then looked at Peter. He looked steadily into her eyes. “You’re safe here, Amber.”

“I’m figuring that out.” Amber smiled at Peter then looked at Faye.

“Of course you are. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking that what we need tonight is a hearty dinner followed by ice cream and a funny movie. Anyone up for helping in the kitchen?”

“I’d be honored,” said Amber. Faye squeezed her tight and looked toward her two men.

“You’ll have more left for dinner if I stay out of the kitchen,” said Frank.

“True ’nough,” said Faye as she and Amber giggled.

“Mom, if you and Amber can handle it, I’m going to head down the path for a bit. Andy said he’d meet me tonight.”

“Sounds good. Just come back here for dinner in a couple hours. Now then, Amber, how’s chicken and dumplin’s sound?”

“Umm . . . what exactly is a dumplin’?”

Chapter 9


MOM SAID I’D FIND YOU
out here.”

“Hey, Logan! What are you doing here on a Saturday morning?” Peter sat his drill on a shelf and wiped his forehead with his shirt sleeve.

“Dropping off some presents for the kids. Brittney got them some new snow toys that she wanted opened at Mom and Dad’s.” Logan took in the changes at the house Peter was building for himself. His point of view in the kitchen with about half the cabinets hanging on the wall showed it was starting to look pretty good. “You’ve done a lot since last time I was out here. I don’t think this drywall was up yet.”

“Yeah. The master bath is working now and drywall is up and ready to paint everywhere except the back bedroom and the loft.”

“Still building this house all by yourself?”

“Mostly. Andy comes out to help three or four times a week.”

“Three or four times a week?”

“Yeah. Give or take.”

“Come on, Pete. You’ve not seriously touched this house in weeks. Then a few days back Mom sees you coming out here, disappearing for hours at a time. And not only are you obviously working on it like crazy, you’ve got Andy coming out to help three or four times a week? What’s really going on?”

Peter sighed deeply, running his hand through his hair. “I’ve got to get out of Mom and Dad’s.” Peter looked directly at Logan. “I can’t live there while Amber is just down the hall.”

“Amber? Do you think you and her could turn into something?”

“I don’t know. She’s beginning to show interest in God, but she’s also just beginning to trust again for the first time in sixteen years. I don’t know what the future holds. I just know I can’t stay there.”

Logan looked at Peter for another moment then nodded briefly. “Okay. I’ve got a couple hours before Heather needs me back at home. What do you want me to do?”

: : : : :

Peter pulled up outside Stephanie’s condo and knew she wouldn’t be happy. He was running about twenty minutes late. The bellman granted him access to the elevator, and as she opened her door he started with an apology.

“Sorry, Stephanie. I was working on something and lost track of time.”

“As long as that something was my Christmas present.”

Peter chose to stay quiet. Standing in the entry of her penthouse overlooking Portland, how could he tell her of his log cabin in the woods? She wouldn’t understand his choice.

“Speaking of Christmas,” she began, “I have a present for you. More than one, actually, but one that you can have now.”

He held out her coat, hoping this would spur her out the door and on to dinner.

“Don’t you want to know what your present is?” She crossed her slender arms in front of her cherry-colored, cowl-neck dress. The ruched waist with floral beading added a touch of blue, accented by her turquoise earrings. She made a beautiful picture, but Peter was more interested in getting some food in his belly. He’d been so busy at the house that he hadn’t eaten anything since a quick sandwich at lunch.

“Well?” said Stephanie.

“Can’t you tell me over dinner?”

“No! This is good! I talked to Daddy. He’s prepared to offer you a job.”

She smiled broadly but Peter didn’t quite know how to respond. “What exactly does Malone Industries want with a Forest Engineer?”

“Does it matter? You can finally move to Portland and leave Mayberry behind.”

“Stephanie, Forest Engineers tend to like the forest.”

“Portland has trees.”

“And a lot of cement.”

“With the salary Daddy is offering, you could buy a house in Northwest Skyline and have all the trees you want.”

“I don’t want to live in Northwest Skyline. I like Crossing. I like being ten minutes outside of a town with less than a thousand people.”

Stephanie’s eyes narrowed, but Peter kept going.

“I like that my parents live there, and my best friend. And I love my dad’s logging business.”

“Are you actually turning down the job?”

“Please tell your father that I appreciate the offer, but I’m not interested in a job in Portland.”

“You’re not interested? It’s that girl!”

“Girl?”

“I knew she was trouble when I saw you four at lunch yesterday.”

“Amber?”

Stephanie pointed her finger at Peter as she continued. “She’s trying to get in with your family, get some kind of commitment out of you.”

“That’s enough.” Peter’s voice almost growled with the warning.

“She thinks she’s found her bank roll, a family so bent on saving the world that they don’t see she’s cleaning them out!”

“Stephanie! Enough! Your opinion of people has always been harsh but I’ve overlooked it, hoping you would see a better way.”

“Looking at the glass as half-full doesn’t get you very far in life. People will take advantage of you.”

“If the alternative is to expect the worst of people, to use them before they use me, then I’d rather be taken advantage of,” said Peter.

“And what are you going to do?” Stephanie’s face contorted, showing her disgust. “Take over Daddy’s business? Grow old and die in Crossing?”

“Maybe. I don’t have a problem with that. I’m not out to be rich or make some huge mark on the world, Stephanie. I’m always going to choose people over money, relationships over popularity.”

He handed her the coat he’d been holding and turned to leave. “I’ve never fully understood why you kept chasing after me. . . .”

“I do not chase,” said Stephanie.

“Maybe, but I think this friendship has reached its end.”

“Wait. Peter, perhaps I’ve been a tad rash. Maybe I’ve not given Crossing a fair trial.”

The corners of Peter’s eyes squinted. Lord, it’s hard to believe she’s being genuine.

Stephanie moved closer to him, taking his hand. “You know how upset I get when things don’t happen on schedule. I was just thrown off by you being late. That’s all. Let’s not fight anymore, hmm? Let’s go out to dinner.”

“I don’t think I’m hungry anymore, Steph. Tell you what. You want to give Crossing another chance? Make Mom and Dad’s Christmas party in two weeks.”

And with that, Peter walked out the door.

: : : : :

Peter walked into the darkened kitchen with a heavy sigh. This night was not turning out well. He’d ranted to God for a good fifteen minutes on the drive home then settled down and tried to earnestly pray the rest of the way. He found lots of silence coming out of Heaven tonight.

“Peter. You’re home early.”

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hmm. Quiet, too.” Faye walked over to the stove with three mugs. “I suppose things did not go well at dinner tonight?”

Peter yanked his tie off and popped the top button. “We never made it to dinner. Stephanie talked her dad into offering me a job.”

“With Malone Industries?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that’s quite an opportunity.”

Peter ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t want to work with Malone Industries, Mom. I want to stay in Crossing.”

“I know that, dear.” Faye turned to the fridge and began pulling out food. “Let me make you a sandwich.”

“Mom, what do you do when you’re not sure what God means? I’ve prayed, I’ve heard what He’s said, but I’m still not sure what He’s doing, what He wants.”

“Well, you keep doing the last thing you know for sure He told you to do. You persevere and keep praying, asking for guidance and confirmation. Ask for wisdom. He loves to hand out wisdom. And clear vision to see is helpful too. His eyes see so much better than ours.”

Faye handed Peter his sandwich. “Why don’t you eat that and then grab some hot chocolate from the pot on the stove and join us outside around the fire? Your dad and Amber are having a very interesting conversation. She asked how we know God is trustworthy.”

Chapter 10

MATTHEW BRUSHED A BIT OF
snow off the legs of his jeans and shifted on the hard bench seat. “The last place I found said she worked there for about four months, which seems to be a record for Portland. She washed dishes. A lady who worked there said they roomed together for a while. One day she just packed up and left. The woman really couldn’t tell me much except she talked about going east.”

“How long ago was that?” said Thomas.

“Only about a month.”

“We were so close!” said Victoria.

Thomas looked Victoria in her dark brown eyes. “We’ll find her. It can’t be much longer now.” He looked back at Matthew. “So, now what?”

He turned his blue eyes out the picture window of the truck stop to watch the snowflakes glide down. “She likes to avoid the main roads. I recommend we head down 26. There’s a couple of towns before it junctions with 35 that she may have found a place to stay. Winter’s not the time to be roaming around Oregon, and she’s a smart girl. She’ll hole up somewhere.”

Chapter 11


CAN I ASK YOU A
question, Peter?” Amber sat in her usual chair by the fire, the book he had given her to read in her lap.

He finished stacking fresh wood on the hearth and brushed wood chips from his navy blue sweater. “Sure. What’s up?”

“After Jamie died, how did you know that God still cared?”

“Wow. Well, I suppose at eight years old it wasn’t something I really thought about.” Peter placed an arm on the mantelshelf and thought for a moment.

“I guess part of the answer is that I see so much of God’s concern for me in other places. I see it in the forest of trees that I love so much, and the sun and rain that He put in place to care for them. I see it in the friends who loved and supported us then, and stuck with Mom even when she tried to push them away. I see His hope in every newborn and His favor all over Dad’s logging company.”

“But how do you know it’s not just luck or karma or positive thinking or hard work? What about all the bad things that happen? What about criminals that get rich or crazy men who take over countries and kill millions of people? What about . . .” Amber paused for a moment and grew very quiet. “What about when children die?”

“Hmm.” Peter sighed. “At some point, every Christian must decide how much he trusts God. You see, if I trust Him, then I have to trust His Word in the Bible, and if I trust His Bible then I have to trust in the part that says God is good, even when I don’t like or understand what’s going on around me.”

“But how can you trust Him when He took someone you love away?”

“He didn’t take her, Amber. He allowed her to die. Why?” Peter ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t know. It’s one of those things that doesn’t seem fair. I’ve missed her over the years, wondering what life would have been like with two sisters, what she would have chosen to do after high school. But even in the midst of the pain, I remind myself that God promised He would never leave us. He gets awfully quiet sometimes, but He’s still here.”

Amber turned her face toward the fire and thought about Peter’s words.

“How old was Cassie?”

Amber sighed deeply. “Eight.” Tears started to well up and then slip down her cheeks. She let them flow.

Peter moved to the ottoman in front of her and reached for her hand. “I’m sorry, Amber.”

For once she held onto Peter’s hand, accepting the comfort he offered. It felt good to finally share part of her burden with someone, but questions continued to roll through her mind. “I was just reading where Kate is struggling to understand the balance between God’s justice and mercy. I understand that if Jesus really died on the cross, then, for whatever reason, He accepted the penalty of all we’ve done wrong. And if we believe that, then God gives us the chance to receive mercy.” Amber paused and looked Peter in the eye. “But, what if I don’t want someone to receive mercy? I’m not sure what God’s justice is supposed to be, but I don’t care! It can’t be bad enough for this man. Does that make me an awful person? Does that mean I shouldn’t have mercy either?”

BOOK: Crossing Values
6.63Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

The Heart Broke In by James Meek
Winning by Lara Deloza
Bone Idol by Turner, Paige
Sir Vidia's Shadow by Paul Theroux
Jasper John Dooley, NOT in Love by Caroline Adderson, Ben Clanton