Crow Country (8 page)

S
adie had to force herself to walk soberly home beside Lachie in the dark; she felt like skipping along the lake-shore road and shouting to the moon,
We won! We won!
Giggles fizzed inside her as she remembered the looks of startled respect on Troy and Hammer's faces. Nank had given her a hug that smelled of aftershave, and Jules had said,
Not bad, kiddo
. They'd even found her a beer. She'd sipped it, but it tasted so bitter she was glad to pass it on to Lachie.

And now she was walking home
by
moonlight
, with Lachie Mortlock,
alone
. For once she wished the distance between the pub and her house was longer.

‘I don't want you to think Dad's a bad person,' said Lachie suddenly. ‘Cos he's not.'

‘Huh?' Sadie had forgotten the argument at dinner; now a glass of icy water seemed to drench her insides. ‘Oh. Right, yeah.'

‘He's just old-school, you know? He doesn't
know
any blackfellas.'

Sadie could hear the earnestness in Lachie's voice. But the way he said
blackfellas
made her uneasy. That was a word David and Walter used about themselves, but it didn't sound right when Lachie said it.

The joy and triumph of the competition curdled inside her. ‘I didn't notice you sticking up for Walter and me last week when everyone was kicking us off the pool table.'

‘That wasn't about Walter being black. You guys pushed in; it wasn't your
turn
. Come on, cut me some slack. I couldn't back down in front of the guys; I would've looked like a wuss.'

She wanted to forgive him. She wanted to believe in Lachie. And some secret sweetness lay in the fact that he was trying to persuade her. He actually cared what she thought.

‘Okay,' she said, as they reached her driveway. ‘And I'm sorry my mum called your dad a dick- head.'

Lachie laughed. ‘That's cool. Don't worry about it.' He flashed her his best shy smile. ‘This is your place, yeah?'

‘This is it.'

‘Okay. See ya.'

Lachie flipped a casual hand, spun round and walked back along the road. Sadie stared after him, trying to swallow her disappointment.
You didn't think he was going to
kiss
you, did you?
she told herself savagely.
You moron, you're only fourteen . . . nearly fourteen . . . he must be sixteen at least . . .
But she couldn't help lingering, listening to the crisp crunch of his shoes on the gravel fade into the large watchful quiet of the night.

She turned and headed for the house. Mum had promised to leave the back door unlocked.

A shape reared into her face, separating itself from the darkness.

Sadie screamed, but her mouth was choked with feathers, and no sound came out. Her heart banged wildly against her ribs.

Wah? Wah?
came a soft query.
Is it you?

And she knew it was a crow, this piece of darkness. She could make out the dim outline of wings, sharp feathers tucked into its side, and when it turned its head, she saw the gleam of its beak in the moonlight. Her heart was pounding. What was it doing here? How had it found her in her own backyard? This wasn't the crows' place; they belonged to the stone circle and the dried lake.

As if it had read her mind, the crow spoke. ‘All of this country is crow country.'

Sadie nodded dumbly. There was a rustle of feathers as the crow rearranged its wings.

‘Why have you not kept Crow's secret?' it said.

Sadie pressed her hands together. ‘I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shown Lachie your special place. I didn't mean to; it just happened . . . And he might have found it anyway; it's on his land . . .'

‘
His
land?' mocked the crow.
‘Waah!
'

‘I'm sorry,' Sadie whispered again. She was afraid. She wondered if she could sneak past, make a run for the safety of the house. She edged sideways, but the crow made an abrupt movement and she froze.

‘Tell the story.'

‘W-what?'

‘
Wah-wah-waaah!
' The crow's voice creaked impatiently through the dark. ‘You see what Crow cannot see. Crow wants the story.'

‘What story?' Sadie was bewildered.

‘
Waah!
The story that belongs to you. You see what is hidden from Crow. Crow knows wrongs were done, but Crow cannot see. You must tell; you must do what is needed; you must finish what is left undone. It is the Law.'

‘I don't understand!' cried Sadie. ‘What do you want me to do? I don't know what you want!'

‘
Wah!
' The crow reared up angrily, wings out- stretched, and Sadie shrank back. ‘Do you have no Law? When a man is killed, the death must be punished. When precious things are stolen they must be returned. Are you an infant? Do you know nothing? Tell the story; tell Crow what you see!'

‘I don't
know
what I see!' cried Sadie wretchedly. Her breath was a white cloud in the cold night. ‘Do you mean Clarry? Or is it something to do with Jimmy Raven? Is that what you wanted me to see? He had a fight – he said – he said—' She struggled to remember what Jimmy had told her in the darkness. ‘Something precious was going to be destroyed. Is that it? Tell me!'

‘You
must tell! You ask too many questions.
Wah!
You have no respect!'

‘But—' Sadie stopped herself just in time.

There was a long silence. Only the rustle of feathers and the soft click of a beak told her that the crow was still there, waiting. Sadie shivered. She felt stupid and sleepy and bewildered.

At last she heard the crow's low, creaking voice. ‘You must finish the story. That is what is important.'

‘But how can I?' said Sadie in a small voice. ‘What's happened has happened. The past is past; it's gone; it's over.'

‘No, no,' said the crow softly. ‘The past is never over; it is never lost. It circles, as the stones circle, as the stars circle, as the earth circles. The story tells itself again, memory and story and land and Law. The stones are spilled; the tears are spilled; the blood is spilled; the Law is broken. The Law is broken!' the crow cried with sudden violence, and Sadie leapt back as the bird reared up and beat its wings against the sky, as if pieces of thunder clashed together. ‘When the Law is broken there must be punishment! This story belongs to you. You must do what Crow cannot do; go into the shadows where Crow cannot go!'

‘I don't understand!' cried Sadie in terror.

But the crow was gone, and Sadie was shouting to an empty yard, her words spiralling away, dissolving in white mist.

‘Sadie?' called Ellie sharply from the back door. ‘Is Lachie with you? What's going on?'

Sadie gazed around despairingly, but there was nothing to see except the wires of the clothesline strung across the sky, the silvery shadows, the shaggy limbs of the old mallee gum stirring in the breeze, whispering a secret she couldn't understand.

'A
re you sure you're all right?' Ellie laid her hand on Sadie's forehead. ‘You haven't been yourself all week.'

It was true; Sadie had been feeling oddly disconnected from her own life. School, Mum, Boort, even Lachie, who'd smiled at her twice at school that week – none of it seemed quite real. She felt as if she were floating through a dream, watching herself from a distance.

Only the crows seemed real, as vividly real as three- dimensional figures moving against a flat painted backdrop. The words the crow had spoken burned into Sadie's memory.
When the Law is broken there must be punishment!
Night after night she woke, struggling to free herself from dreams in which she was searching, or running, or screaming out. In the dreams, she didn't know what she was hunting for, or fleeing from, or what made her cry out. Only the sense of panic remained, knotted always in her stomach.

Even the crows at school had changed. There had always been clouds of them, rising and falling on the oval and the netball court, flapping and squawking over the rubbish bins, perched on the gutters as they exchanged their melancholy cries. But now they'd begun to follow Sadie about, hopping along behind as if they were imitating her, mocking her. They were always watching, heads cocked, their bright eyes fixed on her, and their remarks were a running commentary on her every movement. Sadie knew it, even if no one else could understand them.
Waah? Waa-aah! There she is. What's she doing now? She's drinking water. Here she comes. Crow has chosen her. Crow has tricked her. Wah! That's Crow's secret!

Sadie shifted under Ellie's hand. ‘I'm okay.'

‘Do you want to stay home from school? The art show's tonight, remember; it'll be a long day. We could skip it if you like.'

‘No, I'd rather go.' Would Lachie be there? He wasn't really the arty type.

Ellie smiled. ‘David's coming, too. Did you know Walter's got a piece in the show?'

‘Has he?'

‘David's working in Bendigo today. He said he might bring home some Chinese takeaway, for a treat, and we can eat at their place. If you feel up to it.'

‘Okay.' Sadie swung her legs out of bed. She asked casually, ‘So, will we be staying over?' David had stayed at their place last Saturday night for the first time.

Ellie hesitated. ‘David doesn't think that's a good idea. Not for the moment. He's not sure if Walter's ready.'

And what about if I'm ready?
thought Sadie.
You didn't bother to ask how I feel about it.
Though, in fact, she didn't mind.

‘Anyway, it's not as – convenient – for us to stay at David's. He often has family staying over, extra people in the house. You know.'

Sadie grabbed her uniform.

Ellie perched on the edge of the bed watching her. ‘David went to footy training last night,' she said.

‘Oh! I didn't think he would.'

‘Well, he did.'

‘That's good. It's good, isn't it?'

‘Of course it is. It's good for everyone. It shows we can put the past behind us, move on, forget all that—' Ellie waved a hand. ‘All that unpleasantness.'

‘Yes,' said Sadie. ‘I guess.'

Ellie looked annoyed. ‘Well, I think David's very brave. Good on him!'

‘Good on him,' echoed Sadie.

But the anxious knot stayed tied in her stomach. Sadie wasn't sure that the past could be so easily forgotten.

The artworks were hung around the walls of the community centre that stood between the high school and the sports ground. Parents and students eddied slowly, a hum of conversation rising to fill the cavernous space.

‘Is this your painting, Walter?' Ellie stared at the label beside it.

‘You sound surprised.' David grinned at her. ‘What did you expect, a dot painting?'

‘No, I – oh, shut up.' Ellie gave him a playful push. ‘It's really good, that's all. It's great, Walter. I didn't know you were such an artist.'

‘Thanks,' mumbled Walter.

Sadie gazed at the portrait of the old Abori- ginal woman. She had a deeply wrinkled face and wispy white hair. But her eyes were deep and dark, unfathomable.

‘Is she your grandmother?' asked Ellie.

Walter shook his head. ‘Auntie Lily. She lives here in Boort too.'

‘It's wonderful,' said Ellie. ‘Will you paint me?'

‘Sure,' said Walter, struggling to hide his dismay. Ellie laughed.

‘She's only teasing,' said Sadie. She leaned forward, peering at a detail in Walter's painting. An electric shock fizzed through her. In the background, perched on a fence, Walter had painted a black bird.

Sadie pointed. ‘Is that – is that a crow?'

‘Yeah. That's Auntie Lily's totem.'

‘Oh.' Sadie wasn't sure what that meant, but she was too shy to ask.

Ellie wasn't shy. ‘What's that, Walter? What's
your
totem? What's yours, David? Can you choose your own?'

Walter said, ‘Auntie Lily doesn't like me talking about that stuff too much.'

David shook his head. ‘You spend too much time with Auntie Lily.'

Walter opened his mouth to argue, but just then a voice rang out across the hall.

‘Dave! Davo!'

Craig Mortlock waved as he strode toward them. Amanda was nowhere in sight. Craig grinned and slapped David on the shoulder.

‘Great session last night! You certainly showed those boys a trick or two. Very impressive, Davo. No promises, obviously, but if the boys pick up the way they did last night, and the season improves . . . well, you might be looking at a permanent position.'

‘I'm only there to give Vic a hand,' said David. ‘I'm not trying to put anyone out of a job.' He saw Lachie standing behind his father. ‘Sorry you missed out on the team this time, mate. Maybe next week.'

‘Yeah,' said Lachie.

‘Hi, Lachie,' said Sadie breathlessly.

‘Hi, Sadie.' Lachie threw her a half-smile.

Sadie beamed back foolishly, and couldn't think of anything else to say.

‘That is
so
exciting about the coaching!' said Ellie, as they gathered round the table in David's kitchen, helping themselves to reheated Chinese takeaway. ‘Did you hear what Craig said? A permanent position! That means they'll sack Vic, for sure. Craig's the president; what he says goes, and if he wants you, you've got the job.'

‘Hold on, who says I want the job?' David was half-laughing, half-cross. ‘I don't mind going down the oval once in a while to help them with their handballing, but I've got no plans to be the Boort football coach.'

‘Oh, David, why not?'

‘I told you, I've got better things to do.' He squeezed her hand. ‘Like spending time with you, for instance.'

Walter and Sadie rolled their eyes.

‘I'm prepared to make the sacrifice,' said Ellie.

‘Really? Why?'

‘
Because
– I want us to fit in. As a couple. I want us to be a part of the community.'

‘Well, I'm not sure if I do.' David released Ellie's hand and dug his chopsticks into the lemon chicken.

‘David—'

‘Let's talk about it later.'

Ellie leaned across the table. ‘So, Walter, what about these totems, then?'

‘Maybe David should explain it.'

David shrugged. ‘You know more about it than me, mate. You're the one who spends hours talking to Auntie Lily when you should be doing your homework.'

‘It's important,' said Walter.

‘Of course it is!' said Ellie. ‘Walter needs to know about his culture.'

‘Yeah,' said David. ‘But there's no point knowing about your culture if you can't get a job.'

‘You can do both, surely,' said Ellie. ‘Tell me, Walter, I'm interested.'

‘Well . . .' said Walter slowly. ‘Some of the stuff Auntie Lily tells me, it's secret, okay? But you've heard of the Dreaming, right?'

Ellie nodded. Walter's dark gaze sought out Sadie, and she nodded too.

‘For our people, the land was created long ago, in the time of the Dreaming, when the ancestral spirits moved across the country. They made the hills and the rivers, the swamps and the waterholes. That's why our spirit ancestors are so important. They make the land, and the land belongs to them, and they make us, too.'

Sadie's heart was thumping. ‘Who – who are they?'

‘Well, round this country, everything belongs to Bunjil the Eaglehawk, or Waa the Crow.'

Walter was gazing levelly at Sadie. Sadie stared back at him. Neither of them moved.

‘The crow's name is Waa?' Ellie was saying. ‘I love it! Just like the noise they make!'

‘You all right there, Sadie?' said David.

Sadie looked down, and took a deep breath. ‘I guess – there are lots of crows round here.'

‘Sure are.' David balanced a dumpling on his chopsticks. ‘I heard one of the creeks round here used to be called Crow Creek. But they call it Cross Creek now.'

‘Why did they change it?' said Sadie.

Walter said, ‘Some whitefellas think crows are unlucky.'

‘Ridiculous!' snorted Ellie.

Sadie said, ‘Why?'

‘Crows are supposed to foretell death in lots of European cultures. In North America, too, I think,' said David.

‘Not for us. For our people, that's owls or curlews,' said Walter.

‘There's a church next to Cross Creek, isn't there? Maybe they changed the name when they built it,' said Ellie. ‘When they laid down their religion on top of yours, they changed the crow to a cross. Fascinating.'

‘And now there's more people at the footy on a Saturday afternoon than go to church on a Sunday morning,' said David. ‘We should be talking about how Boort's going to whip Birchip Watchem tomorrow.'

‘Better get your protein up, Mr Assistant Coach,' said Ellie. ‘Here, try the beef.'

Walter was still watching Sadie. He said in a low voice, ‘Our people lived in this country for forty thousand years, maybe more. No other culture in the history of the world's lasted that long. The Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans – they all destroyed themselves. Not us. Because we knew how to live
with
the land, not fight it. So we survived.'

Ellie said, ‘Till the whitefellas came.'

Walter looked at her. ‘We're still surviving.'

‘Yes, of course.' Flustered, Ellie dropped a piece of chicken. ‘Of course you are . . .'

‘Don't know about Bunjil and Waa, though,' said David. ‘Don't reckon they made it.'

‘Oh, no!' cried Sadie. ‘They did! I know they did!'

Ellie and David burst out laughing. ‘All right, darling.' Ellie patted her hand. ‘I'm sure Bungee and Waa appreciate you believing in them, even if no one else does.'

Sadie stared down into her bowl. She didn't dare glance at Walter. But she could feel his dark eyes burning into her, not blinking, not looking away.