Crude: A Stepbrother Romance (24 page)

There’s this big dumb thing that always happens in movies or books after someone “loses it” where they’re walking around like they’re “different” now; as if just experiencing that one simple act for the first time bequeaths them with some sort of cosmic knowledge and changes them.

I used to roll my eyes at those movies and those books, because it’s a ridiculous and cliched idea that having sex for the first time in any way
changes you
. I mean it’s
just sex
, right?

Except even moments after that first time with Knox in the pool house, I already know how wrong I’ve been. I know instantly in that moment of singularity and that moment of the two of us coming together
exactly
how wrong I’ve been.

Because I
am
different, and it feels amazing.

Two days later, I’m still smiling. Two days of floating around the house on air, two days of not being able to wipe that secretive, glowing grin off my face, and two days of not being able to keep away from him.

Feel different? After sex?
“How ridiculous”
, I’d have said to myself. But that was before.

I feel alive, and it’s like I’ve got this gleeful little secret that I can take around with me. If Knox and I flirted or snuck lingering touches before, it’s ten times worse - or better, I guess - now. Lingering looks over dinner turn to stolen kisses in the kitchen as we’re so helpfully clearing the table for dad and Amanda. “Helping Knox” tidy up the garage turns into me spread out across the hood of my dad’s Audi with Knox between my legs, driving into me again and again.

There’s a part of me that still feels like all of this is “wrong” or maybe a little dirty. But if it was really all that wrong, it wouldn’t feel so damn good, or so
right
.

And besides, maybe the whole “dirty” part of it is what makes it so much fun.

******

There’s a flyer on my desk in my room when I come in from a quick run a few days later, and I frown as I pick it up to look it over.

“So, what do you say?” I turn to see him standing in my doorway, leaning against the doorframe with that cocky, easy smile on his face and a glint in his eyes. I’ve already snuck into his bedroom this morning to slip under the covers and under him, waking him by wrapping my legs around him and grinding my wetness against him and surprising us both with my directness.

Of course, “surprising each other” has become par the course pretty much every day
since
that day in the pool house. Like, for instance, him going down on me on top of the washing machine in the basement while Amanda does yoga in the living room upstairs; me biting my hand to keep from screaming.

And yet, just looking at him standing there, even in jeans and a t-shirt, I
want him
all over again.

I raise my brow at him; “Say to what?”

He nods at the paper in my hands I’ve only briefly glanced at. This time, I actually take the five seconds to read the thing, and then I’m looking up at him quizzically; “A singer/songwriter competition? Tonight?”

“Yep,” He winks at me; “We should leave here around seven to get there in time.”

I wince, shrugging my shoulders; “I don’t know, I’ve got a
ton
of work to do tonight since
someone’s
-” I sidle up to him, poking him in the ribs before leaning up to kiss him; “Someone’s been distracting me. I’m not sure if I can go.”

“Well, you kind of have to.”

I raise my brows again, a grin teasing my lips at this bossy streak of his; “Oh
really
?”

Knox’s grin grows wider; “Yeah, you have to.”

“And why is that?”

“Because you’re in it.”

I freeze, my eyes going wide and my jaw dropping; “
What?
”

“Yeah, you’re in it.”

I jerk the flier back up, my eyes scanning the paper; “This says it’s an audition-only contest, Knox.” He just grins and wags his eyebrows; “I didn’t audition.”

“Sure you did, and they loved you.”

“Excuse me?” I look back at the flier and my eyes go wide; “My fucking
real name
is on this!”

He clears his throat; “I, uh, I may have recorded you on my phone that last time at the Music Hall.”

My jaw
drops
; “Wait, you
what?
Are you serious right now?”

“You’re kinda good, you know. That fuckin’ song from the other day’s been stuck in my head nonstop.” He grins and pulls me closer, kicking my bedroom door shut with his foot; “Among other things from that day, I might add.”

I blush, biting at my bottom lip and looking up at this boy who’s somehow managed to shake up my whole life and change so much about the way I think; “I- I still don’t know if I can make it. I
really do
have a lot of work I need to finish, and I’ve got the interview tomorrow for the pre-med program.”

“So?”

I roll my eyes; “
So
- Knox I can’t just blow it off.”

He levels his eyes at me; “What happens if you don’t go to it? What happens if you don’t go to that thing you don’t want to go to, to prepare you for that other thing you don’t want to do in the fall that’ll set up to do what you don’t want to do with your life?”

“I-” I shake my head; “I don’t-”

“Do you not get into Columbia?”

“No of course not, I’m already in, it’s just to see about placement in the-”

“And it’s the only time for this?”

“I-”  Damnit, he’s wearing me down here. No, not wearing me down, opening my eyes. He’s making me look at this whole thing with a new filter on life and see that this in fact
my life
; “No, the real interview is in the fall, at school.”

He laughs; “Well, shit Paige, I think you might be fresh out of excuses not to go do this thing you love.”

“But, my dad.”

He nod slowly; “OK, look, I’m sorry. You don’t
have
to do this, I just thought you might want to get up there and just-”

“OK, OK!”

He raises his brow, questioning me with that smirk on his face; “OK?”

“Yeah, know what, screw it. Let’s go.”

“Pushover.”

I make a mock shocked face and punch him in the arm, but then he’s pulling me against him and kissing me. It starts as just his lips on mine, but then suddenly something intensifies, and I know we both feel it. All at once I’m running my hands up his chest to his neck, running my fingers through his short hair and pulling him tightly against my mouth. He growls into the kiss, his hands dropping to cup my ass through the shorts I’m wearing, kneading and squeezing the supple flesh there.

His mouth drops to my neck, his lips sucking at the skin there and the stubble on his chin teasing across my jaw. When one of his hands slides around to cup me in the front, I blush and push his hand away; “The staff-“

“Gone for the day.” His eyes blaze with need as he looks deeply into my eyes; the same need for me that I have pounding inside of me for him.

I look at him slyly as I start to tug the tank top from my body, loving the way his eyes light up as I bare myself to him. We crash back together, his mouth instantly going to my bra-less breasts, his lips wrapping around my sensitive nipple there. His hand drops back to the front of my shorts, freeing the button there and sliding inside quicker than I even thought he would. I’m closing my eyes and moaning at the feel of him touching me like this, as he pushes us back towards my bed until the backs of my knees press against it.

He pushes me backwards, grinning as I yelp and fall back across my bed, before he moves between my legs above me.

“Don’t I have a show to get to, mister?” I say, grinning at him and raising my brows.

“
Plenty
of time, red,” He says, his voice tight and his eyes moving down over my body; “Besides, if you’re gonna be this big rock star, aren’t you supposed to get laid before every show?”

He’s tugging my shorts down my legs as I blush; “I thought it was
after
the sho-
oooh.
” The feel of the heat of his mouth against the front of my panties has me losing my words and sinking back into the bed. His tongue presses against my lips through the soft cotton, teasing me and yet denying me the contact my body is craving; “You’re driving me
crazy
,” I moan, my body arching against him.

Slowly, I can feel him hook his fingers into the waist of them and begin to pull them down, and when he peels them off and then spreads my legs, I’m soaking wet and ready for him.

I cry out as his tongue slides deep into me, curling against the opening before sliding up and flitting across my clit with just the tip of it. His lips form a seal around my pussy as his tongue dips in again, dragging my wetness up and over my clit and making my whole body sing as I clutch at the bedsheets beneath me.

His tongue slides back up to my clit, flicking across it again and again and shoving me from one level of pleasure all the way up to the top of the meter. I’m moaning now,
loudly
, and thanking God that no one’s home as I run my fingers through his hair and buck my hips against him; “Oh,
God
, Knox!” I gasp; “I’m- I’m going-“

“Come for me, Paige,” He growls from between my thighs; “Come on my tongue.”

And I explode, coming against his face and gasping for air as I go tumbling over the edge of my orgasm as lightning shoots through my whole body.

He’s pulling his shirt of and dropping his pants, sliding between my legs again and moving up to kiss me. I can taste myself across his tongue, and there’s something so intimate and so dirty about it that I find myself kissing him harder and deeper, moaning against him. I reach down to wrap my fingers around his rock hard cock and pull it against me; “So what were you saying about getting laid before a show?”

He grins as he kisses me, but then he starts to pull away.

“Hey, where-”

“I-“ He groans, dropping his head down; “I don’t have any, Paige.” He looks up at me and groans; “Sorry, princess.”

“That’s OK.”

“But maybe we can stop on the way home from the-”

“No I mean, it’s
OK
.” I bite my lip nervously as I look up into his eyes, still stroking him against my wetness.
 

“Yeah, no, we’ll-” His eyes suddenly light up as what I’m saying dawns on him; “Wait, really?”
 

I grin at him, blushing as I lean up to kiss his ear; “I just want you right now.”

I can feel him throb harder in my hand as he groans; “I’ve never- you know, without-”

“Yeah, me neither,” I say, as both of us snort out laughter.

He raises a brow at me; “Are you sure about this?”

“I trust you.” I lean up into his ear again, nipping his lobe with my teeth; “Now please fuck me, and never stop fucking me.”

We cry out together as he moves his hips and slides the head of his cock into the tight opening of me, bare and uncovered. I’m so ready for him that when he grunts and pushes forward, he buries his entire length in me in one thrust, making me moan as I clutch at his back. He pulls back out, leaving just the head inside as I squeeze down on him before he drives back in.

He flips us over suddenly, rolling onto his back on my bed with me perched atop him. His hands guide my hips, showing me how to move, and slowly I start to move up and down, riding him. Every breath and every pulse and every gasp from our lips blends together as we start to rock together as one. I can feel him so deep inside of me, and when I roll my hips against him, my clit slides deliciously over his pubic bone, sending shiver through my body.

This is making love.

It’s a scary thought, but I realize quite suddenly that even if I’ve officially already had sex with Knox, this is the first time I’m ever really and truly committing the act of
making love
.

And I never want to stop.

I can feel the world start to fade around us as I start to tumble. And when he leans up, his hand on my hip and the other tugging gently at my long hair as he starts to nibble at my neck while his cock rocks into me again and again, I start to come.

I shatter around him, crying out and clutching him to me like I might be swept away without his body there to anchor me. I can feel him throb deep inside of me, his cock pulsing as suddenly I feel the hot jet of him exploding inside of me. It’s just him, and just me, with nothing between us as we come like that together; as we come clutching each other and moaning each other’s names.

And I could just exist in this one moment for pretty much ever.