Cruel Summer (3 page)

Because what my aunt obviously does not understand is how imperative it is for me to stay in touch with Amanda. How it’s seriously and completely crucial that Amanda does
NOT
forget me while I’m gone. There’s just too much riding on our friendship, too much at stake. I mean, if I’m going to have any fun at all during my last year of high school, if I want to go to prom, and parties, and basically partake in anything worth partaking in, then
I HAVE TO STAY TIGHT WITH AMANDA!

I
CANNOT
allow her to replace me with some undeserving wannabe. I just can’t afford to let that happen.

And the reason I’m so worried about it in the first place, is because I happen to know for a fact that Amanda has the attention span of a housefly. Seriously, she’s always flitting from one object to another, unable to stay focused on any one thing. Like she has social ADD or something. And now that I’m gone I’m afraid she’ll just land on someone else, and come September, all of my hard work will be wasted.

Like on Friday, my last night in town, when we were sitting in her room, flipping through magazines and listening to music (which is pretty much all she could be bothered to arrange for my big going-away party), and right after I read our horoscopes out loud, she looked at me and squinted and went, “Wait—so where are you going again?”

And honestly, I could hardly believe it. I mean, it’s not like I hadn’t told her like a million times already, but it’s not like I could actually say that either. So I just mentally rolled my eyes, tucked my long, brown hair behind my ears, and then gazed at her perfect face, which was perfectly framed by the perfect smoke ring she just blew, and said, “Greece.” Then I watched as she shrugged, grabbed a chunk of her bleached blond hair, and bent it toward her nose, brushing the ends against its dainty, slightly upturned tip.

“I don’t get it. Why Greece? Why not somewhere good? You know, like Cabo or Cancun or something?” she said, dropping her hair and switching her attention to her French-manicured nails.

But I just shrugged. I mean, it really wasn’t worth explaining how I only had one crazy aunt, and she just happened to live on a Greek island nobody’s ever heard of. But when I saw Amanda staring at me like that, you know, with her lips all pursed and her eyebrows raised, I knew I had to at least try to explain. “It’s an island, and it’s supposed to be really pretty,” I said, amazed to hear myself actually defending it. But then that’s how I always feel around Amanda, like I need to prove my right to exist.

But she just reached for her phone and flipped it open. And just as I thought she was looking for a way to evict me, she scrolled through her contacts and said, “Levi’s going to Greece. Let’s call him.”

LEVI BONHAM!
The uber-hot guy I’ve been lusting after since he moved to our town back when I was just a nerdy little sixth-grader and he was already a smoking hot twelve-year-old, who also happens to be the other major reason for why I desperately need to stay connected.

Seriously, Levi is the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen (okay, maybe not including magazines, TV, and/or movies), but still, he’s so amazingly hot it’s surreal. He’s like the male equivalent of Amanda. And luckily for me, Amanda doesn’t like him like THAT, because if she did I wouldn’t have stood a chance. But for whatever reason she lusts after his less hot but still cute friend, Casey Sayers. And all she had to do was place the call, and five minutes later, just like magic, they appeared.

And it’s not like I haven’t hung out with Levi before, because ever since I started hanging with Amanda I’ve had access to a whole host of things I used to only dream about. But still, it’s not like we ever really exchanged more than a few words, or in his case—mumbles.

That’s right, as perfect as I think Levi Bonham is, even I have to admit, he has one minor flaw—he’s not much of a talker, he’s way more of a mumbler. But then again, when you’re that gorgeous, conversational skills aren’t really required.

But since I’m not at all gorgeous, since I’m pretty much an average girl (okay, maybe I’m just
slightly
better than average since I’m more or less thin, and my skin is more or less clear, and my hair is pretty much just brown and normal, and nothing on my face really stands out in either a super positive or super negative way—which makes me pretty much the opposite of the blond, tan, and blue-eyed Amanda), I’m kind of forced to keep my small-talk abilities honed and sharpened.

I mean, in my case, showing up and standing around just isn’t enough. Which means the last few times we hung out, I was forced to work overtime just trying to get him to laugh, which was completely impossible until I inadvertently tripped and fell smack onto the coffee table, which resulted in him doubling over in laughter and gasping for air, for a full five minutes. But for the rest of the time after that, I mostly just tried to ask a lot of questions about his favorite sports, favorite cars, and all kinds of other stuff that he’s obviously into, but that I really don’t care about.

But even so, the most I ever got for my attempts were a couple of mumbles and a grunt or two.

Until last Friday night when:

I HOOKED UP WITH LEVI BONHAM!!!!!

It’s like, one minute we were sitting awkwardly on the couch, side by side, pretending to watch TV while Amanda and Casey were doing who knows what upstairs in her room, and the next thing I know
LEVI BONHAM WAS PRETTY MUCH ON TOP OF ME!

Though it’s not like he just pounced or anything crude like that. It was way more romantic and actually kind of cute the way he acted like he was reaching for his glass, but then somehow ended up smack on my lips.

And even though it was a little awkward at first, I mean trying to figure out where our lips and tongues should go, it wasn’t long before I was totally into the zone of how he kisses, and the next thing I knew, I’d glanced at my watch and it was two hours past my curfew!

Only that’s not entirely true.

Because the truth is, I was kind of worried about my curfew pretty much the entire time. I mean, even though kissing Levi was a completely amazing, dream-come-true kind of moment, the fact is, I couldn’t stop worrying about my parents—wondering if they were still fighting, wondering if they’d managed to kill each other yet (joking, but not entirely).

But now, looking back, I wish I hadn’t even bothered. I mean, it’s not like they even noticed I was gone, and here I’d wasted a good part of my Levi Bonham Experience worrying about two people who obviously don’t care all that much about me.

But after he tried to take off my dress for like the tenth time in a row, I pointed at my watch and told him I had to leave. And when I saw the way he just rolled his amazing blue eyes as he rolled right off of me, I thought:

What the heck are you doing, Colby? I mean, hello, now’s your big chance, the moment you’ve been waiting for! So what if you don’t love him? Love never lasts anyway—just look at your parents! Not to mention how you’re totally gonna regret it if you let him slip away!

So then I reached for his hand and said, “Okay, maybe just a few more minutes.”

And in the end, that’s pretty much all it took.

Because the second it was over, he was already opening another beer before I’d even had a chance to adjust my dress, and when I finally stood and grabbed my purse and my keys, part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it really did happen.

I guess I always thought The Big Moment would be, well, bigger.

And better.

And way more special than it actually was.

And I guess that’s why I’ve put off writing about it until now. I mean, at the beginning of the night, when we first started kissing, I would occasionally open my left eye to peek at him, just so I could confirm that, yes, hard as it was to believe, I, Colby Catherine Cavendish, was totally locking lips, swapping spit, and playing big-time tonsil hockey with the hottest guy in school. And when I saw the way his eyes were closed so tight, and felt the way his lips were pressed so hard against mine, well, I couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Despite the nagging voice in my head going—
why
YOU
Colby?

You’re not hideous but you’re not exactly hot. You test smart but it’s not like he cares. Just because you’re friends with Amanda doesn’t mean you’re cool. So out of all the girls he knows, out of all the superhot girls he could be making out with at this exact moment,
WHY YOU?

And honestly, I just didn’t have an answer.

I still don’t. Though I am firmly committed to no longer thinking about it.

Because even if it’s just that he was bored on a Friday night and looking for something to do, it still doesn’t explain why just seconds before I left he reached into the bowl of Doritos, grabbed a handful, looked me right in the eye, and said, “Hey, maybe I’ll catch you in Greece. I might be going on a cruise or something.”

Though it does explain why I plan to spend my entire summer in the Internet café, waiting for some kind of contact or news of his arrival.

Waiting for proof that I didn’t waste my virginity on someone who’s bound to forget me.

June 20

To: AmandaStar

From: ColbyCat

Re: Ya’Sou!

Hey Amanda—

In case UR Idering Ya’Sou means both hi & bye here in Greece, kinda like Aloha in Hawaii. At least I think that’s what it means!

NEway, jus wanted 2 say hey since I’m soooo far from U & I don’t want U guyz 2 4get me!

I’m still thinking about Fri bcuz it was sooooo fun & I totally cud’ve stayed even L8r since no 1 even noticed I was L8. O well.

Tell Levi hi from me & tell him 2 msg me & tell me if he’s still maybe coming 2 Greece like he sez.

But don’t tell him about the totally hot guy I sat next 2 on the plane 2 Greece!