Crushed (41 page)

“Because I still didn’t see a way out of it and by then you were with Mia. You were
so mad at me, and I understood why, but because you were so mad, I wasn’t sure how
you’d react.”

“I
only
stayed
with Mia because I was so
miserable without you!” he said. H
is voice
had become
angry again.

“I’m not blaming you for it. Really, I’m not.” It hurt. A lot. But
she
didn’t blame him at all. Everything had spun out of control so quickly.

“I was honest with her from the start,” Reece said.
She
did not want to hear about Mia. Just her name made
Cleo
feel sick but
Reece had
listened to
her. So she
owed it to listen to him. “I told her I was nowhere near over you
. I told her
I didn’t know if I would be any time soon. She said she didn’t care.”

Cleo
wasn’t surprised by this.
Mia
had gotten what she’d wanted for a very long time. She didn’t let the details of
it bother her.

“I think she was sure that she’d have me wrapped around her finger in no time. When
that didn’t happen, I think she started to mind. The whole thing was just a mistake
from the start. Something I wish I could take back. But I can’t. And now it can just
be added to the pile of mistakes.”

“A
nother reason I didn’t tell you…
”
Cleo started. She hated
how
her
heart was pounding but realiz
ed
now was the time to
get everything out in the open. “W
as because a part of me thought maybe it wasn’t a bad thing.”

“How could it not be a bad thing? You
wanted
to break up with me?” he demanded.

“No. Not at all.”
She
tried to explain to him what
she
’d explained to Emma. That sometimes
she
worried that he was only with
her
because he pitied
her
, like Mia said. Or because he felt obligated and because Luci had gotten so attached
to him. “Sometimes I worried that you only stayed with me for so long because you
thought I was too weak to handle it if you left me.”
She
couldn’t believe
she
was finally saying those words out loud. The thoughts had plagued
her
for a very long time.
She
’d always been too afraid of the answer to ever force them out of
her
mouth.

“
You can’t be serious!”
Reece
fumed.
He sounded pissed off all over again. “You are the strongest person I know, Cleo.
I’ve never thought of you as weak! I mean, yeah, you kind of fell apart for a while,
when we met. But you pulled yourself back together. You’ve been through more than
anyone I know. Not just when your mom died but before that
,
too. Always taking care of Luci. And after…you could have used that as an excuse
to just check out. But you didn’t. And you’ve had to deal with Pau
l
. A
nd I didn’t even know then what an absolute bastard he is. You’re strong and you’re
loyal and you’re fiercely protective of your sister. I mean…yes, I worry about you.
All the time. But that’s because you don’t exactly have it easy.” He stopped talking
and just looked at
her
for a second. Maybe letting his words sink in.
She
wasn’t sure. “I don’t love you because I’m concerned. I’m concerned because I love
you! I mean, sometimes I’d get so mad because I felt like you deserved so much more
than you had.”

“I had you,”
she
reminded him. “You and Luci and that’s all I ever really wanted.”

He shook his head. “Yeah, and look how that turned out. Just when I started to think
maybe things are getting better for you, because you deserve to have something go
your way for a change, now I find out about this! And not only is it absolute bullshit,
but it’s because of me! You could lose Luci. You could end up with nowhere to live.
Paul beat the crap out of you the other night and just because I haven’t said it out
loud until now, doesn’t mean that I doubt it for a second.”

He
was
on a roll and
she
just let him talk
. She thought he needed to
get it all out.

“Please tell me you don’t think that anymore?”

She shook her head. “I don’t. Maybe I never did. Maybe I just tried to make myself
believe it. To try to make it easier.”

“
Good,” he said as he let out a sigh. He was quiet just a minute before asking, “
So, you’ve had a while. You did what Ethan said and you bought some time. Did you
find a way around this?” he asked.

She
shook
her
head. “No. I have some money saved away, though. If I have to find somewhere to stay,
I think I have enough to pay rent until summer. Until I can work full-time. Or Emma’s
insistent I could stay with them. She wanted to talk to her mom about it. I asked
her to hold off. I’ll be fine. It’s Luci I’m worried about. If he cuts me out of her
life, she’ll be all alone.” And
she
had promised her she wouldn’t be.

“The other night…what he did to you…That was because of me, wasn’t it?” he asked.
“Because I was stubborn and I came back in and kissed you.”

“It wasn’t because of you. It was because he’s a horrible person,”
she
argued. It was true, as far as
she
was concerned. The other times had not been because of Reece and
she
was not going to blame
him
for what happened. That was on Paul and Paul alone.

“A horrible person who did that
because of me
,” Reece insisted. He pressed his palms into his eyes as he leaned back into his seat.
“Could this be any bigger of a mess?!”

She
didn’t have an answer to that so
she just sat there. She felt
completely inadequate
. A
fter all of the pain
she felt she
had caused him,
she
had absolutely nothing to say.

After another long, miserable silence he finally reached for the key in the ignition.

“I get that you’re mad at me. You have every right to be,”
she
told him. “You can take me back to Emma’s.”

He
looked at her for a minute before asking,
“Do you
want
to go back to her house?”

“I want to do whatever you want me to do. I thought maybe you’d want some time alone.
So you can think this over, or whatever. Until you can decide if you can forgive me
or not.”
She
had just realized how presumptuous it had been of
her to pack her
bag and bring it with.
She
had done it more or less on autopilot. Out of habit. Sitting
t
here now,
she
was afraid Reece wasn’t going to want
her
around just yet.

He shook his head. “It’s not you I’m mad at,” he finally said. “I mean, I am. Because
I can’t believe you kept this from me. But I do see your side of it. You were…you
are
just protecting Luci. I get that. I know she needs you. Mostly I’m so mad at my dad
I can’t even think straight right now.

“I knew right away that there had to be more to it than you were telling me. But honestly?
I had convinced myself you were already seeing Ethan.
I’d started to blame the whole thing on him.
It was the only thing I could come up with that would explain how fast things turned,”
he admitted. “It never even crossed my mind that it had anything to do with my dad.
But now, it all makes sense. It’s sick and it’s wrong but it makes sense.”

Now that he’d had some time to adjust, he didn’t seem as angry. He seemed more shocked
than anything.

“I don’t want to bring you to Emma’s. I just got you
back,” he stopped to look at her
. “I do have you back, don’t I?”

“If you still want me,”
she
managed to say.

“
That’s
never been in question,” he told
her.

“So, where do we go from here?” It was the
same thing he had asked
her
just
yesterday
. Only
she
hadn’t had an answer for him.

“I don’t know,” he said.
His voice still had an edge to it and Cleo wasn’t sure if his anger was really all
directed at his dad.
“But
we’ll figure it out.”

***

Cleo didn’t say a word the w
hole way back to
Reece’s
house.
He
knew she was
afraid
he
was
pissed. And
he
was
. But really, not at her
…
because
he
go
t it.
He
go
t why she did what she did. The longer
he
ha
d
to think about it, the more
he started to hate his
dad.
He
hate
d
him for putting
Cleo
through this. She
was
too young to have
had
to deal with half the crap she
’d
had to deal with. And to know that h
is dad
just shoveled
another huge pile her way pissed him
off more than
he could
even say.

He
meant it when
he
told her
she’s the strongest person
he
kn
e
w. But she shouldn’t have to be. And she
was
vulnerable too, which
was
why her strength impresse
d
him
the way it d
id
. She could’ve thrown in the towel, so to speak, years ago. But she didn’t. She just
suck
ed
it
up
. M
ade the best of
whatever crappy
hand
had been dealt
to her.

And t
o know that one of the worst
hand
s
of all ha
d
been dealt t
o her because of him
? To know that she might lose Luci because of
him
? It
was
making
him
hate
his
dad more by the second.

Nothing could compare to the blow of losing her mom. But losing her sister would be
awfully damn close. And
Reece knew that it was because of his dad that it might actually happen.

By the time
they had turned off on his road
, he
had redirected all of
his
rage where it belonged. At
Landon
. S
eeing Cleo sitting across from him
, her arms folded across her chest, like she
was
trying to fold herself up, trying to disappear,
was
making
him
feel like a complete ass.
He
had no right to tear into her the way
he
ha
d. She wouldn’t be in danger of losing Luci if it weren’t because of
him
.
Not that he blamed himself, because he didn’t
. Not even close.
He
knew
exactly
who was to blame for this.

But
he was
feeling like
dirt
because
Cleo
had enough to deal with and
he
just added to it by yelling at her like
he had. He was furious about Ethan but Cleo hadn’t
said a thing about Mia
. Other
than to say she didn’t blame him
for it. But if she was half as bothered by Mia as
he
was by Ethan, then that
was one more thing for him
to feel like crap about
. H
e
kn
e
w it bothered her
. E
ven though she didn’t say
it
, it
was
pretty clear by the look on her face
every time Mia’s name came up
.

So
he could
add that to the list of things that
w
ere
making
him
feel like scum.
W
hat
his dad
and Paul
had done made her life miserable. But he was
sure
he
didn’t help things back there. And
he was the one that was
supposed to be on her side.

“Do you think your mom knows?” Her voice took
him
by surprise. It sounded so small. Like she
was
afraid to ask
him
. A
nd not because of the answer. But like she
was
afraid to even talk to
him.

“No,”
he
told her. “I can guarantee my mom doesn’t know.”

But she
would.
Soon enough. There
was
no way
he could
let this go. She
need
ed
to know. And she
was
going to be furious. And honestly?
He was pretty sure his
parents’ marriage
was
going to be over. Considering how rocky it
had
been the past few years,
he
d
idn’t
see how they
were
going to get past this. Part of
him
want
ed
to be glad.
He
want
ed
his
dad to pay for this. For
Landon
to be put through part of the hell
he had just put him and Cleo through.

But there
was
a huge catch to that. It
was
going to put
his
mom through hell too. And
he
did
n’t want that at all.
He
just d
idn’t think there was
any way around it. And it ma
de
him
feel sick all over again. But that,
he realized, he could thank his father for, too.

Chapter 23

Cleo could never quite
describe the way
she
felt when
she went
to Reece’s house.
Other than to say she never really felt like she belonged there. The house wa
s beyond beautiful. It
was
a three story, log-sided house on a small hill with an unbelievable lake view. The
inside
was
full of pine. Pine floors, vaulted pine ceilings, pine two-paneled doors—all from
Sheridan Millworks. The carpet
was
so plush you s
unk
right into it. Each room
was
painted in warm, inviting colors. It
was
so exquisitely decorated that it look
ed
like it should have its own full page spread in a magazine. The fact that
she hadn
’t been
there in
forever just ma
de
heading
t
here
now,
feel even more
uncomfortable.

She
wasn’t sure what to expect from Reece. His emotions seemed to be all over the place.
She
was
waiting for them to run their course until he
could
just own whatever it
was that
he
was
feeling.

Reece d
idn’t
get mad often but when he d
id
, it t
ook
a lot. And this
was
more than ‘a lot’. Usually he
would
just blow up and then
let whatever set him off blow
over.
Cleo
d
id
n’t think there
was
a chance of this simply blowing over
. T
hey
both kn
e
w it
was
not just going to go away.

By the time
they
got to his house, it was dark. The night sky sparkled with stars and the temperature
had dropped the way it does in September.
They
parked and then he grabbed
her
bag from the backseat. Before
they
even got to the front door, he stopped
her
and just put his arms around
her
. For a minute he didn’t say anything and
she
didn’t either.
She
just rested
her
head on his chest and put
her
arms around him too.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I didn’t mean to take any of this out on you.”

She
started to tell him it was okay, that
she
understood. But he cut
her
off.
She
could barely make his features out in the dark
. B
ut
she
could tell his expression had softened.

“Let me finish. I want you to know I’m not mad at you. I know I said I was and maybe
I was right away. But you did the right thing. You were protecting your sister. But
there is
no way
I am going to let my dad control us. If I get mad at you over this, then he’s getting
what he wants. But more than that, I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t blame you
for any of this. So if I made you feel like I did, I’m sorry. Okay?”

She
didn’t have a chance to answer because suddenly he was pulling
her
into him and kissing
her
until he took
her
breath a
way. Every coherent thought simply
evaporated and all
she was
thinking of, all
she was
feeling, all
she
was wanting was
him. It
was
cold out but
she
no longer noticed
. H
er
whole body suddenly felt like it
was
coursing with molten lava as
her
hands move
d
up to run through his hair and his hands start
ed
sliding down
her
back. When his mouth moved lower and landed on
her
neck
a
little moan erupted from
her
mouth.

He slowly let
her
go and moved back so he could look at
her
. “Well, I guess that’s it then,” he said with a cocky grin.

“What?”
she
sounded ridiculously breathless.

“At least we’re on the same page again,” he said with smirk. He grabbed
her
hand and pulled
her
toward the house. “I hope you’re hungry because I’m starving. I was getting ready
to make something to eat when Emma called.”

She
hadn’t been but at the mention of food,
she
instantly was.

“You could’ve eaten first,”
she
told him. “It’s not like I was going anywhere.”
She
hadn’t been all that surprised to wake up with him there.
She
had told Emma
she
would tell him everything
. Emma wanted to be sure that she
didn’t back
out.

“I didn’t know that,” Reece pointed out. He squeezed
her
hand before letting it go to get the door open. “I had no idea you were sleeping.
Or that you didn’t know I was coming. Emma just told me I needed to get there fast,
before she had to leave. So I did.”