Crushed (40 page)

“How the hell am I supposed to pull it off?”
she
choked out. “We were just…we were together all night.”

“Maybe you can start with that; that the two of you are always together. That you’ve
just realized maybe you should take a break. You’re too young to be so serious. Tell
him
you
think it would be good for both of you to have some time apart,” Emma said quietly.
“It’s a logical explanation. You two
are
together all the time.”

“He won’t believe it,”
she
argued.

“Maybe he would if you told him you thought you should see other people,” Ethan pointed
out. “That’s giving him a solid reason.”

“Are you volunteering?”
she
asked sarcastically.

He shrugged. “I would. If that would help. I mean, we wouldn’t have to really date,
not that I’d be opposed,” he joked but
she
was not in the mood to
even try to force a smile back. “B
ut I’d be fine with letting him think we are.”

She
stayed at the Donavon’s a few more hours. Ethan agreed to let
her
“use” him as part of
her
excuse. Furthermore, he insisted he stay close by. In case he needed to bail
her
out.
She
had no doubt that
she
would need him.
She
had no idea how
she
was ev
er going to get the words out. She had no idea how she
was ever going to tell Reece such a blatant lie.

And then live with
her
self and the consequences of it.

Chapter 22

“That’s what happened,”
she
finally said. “That’s all of
it.” Reece’s face had flashed through
a myriad of emotions as he sat and listened, not questioning anything.
He had been afraid to interrupt. A
fraid she’d
stop explaining if he did.
Until now.

“
Ten thousand dollars
?”
he
asked.
Cleo
knew he was going to be mad because he had every right to be. But he
was
furious, livid and every other adjective
she could think of
all rolled into one, hot, fuming mess. “That’s all he was willing to spend to mess
up my life? He’s
probably blown more than that during a week
in Vegas!” 

He
was
trying to sound like he
was
joking but his voice
was
way too bitter and sarcastic to pull it off.
And
they
both knew this really had nothing at all to do with the money.

“I’m so sorry,”
she
said.
She
reached across
the armrest but he pulled back, his expression unreadable.

Misery rushed through her body.
Reece ha
d
never, ever pulled away from
her
before.
She
withdrew
her
hand
and moved back to
her
side of the vehicle until
she
was leaning back against the window.

“You should be sorry!  I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. How could you keep this
from me? This doesn’t just
involve
me, it revolves around me completely!” He slammed his hand against the steering wheel
but continued to talk. “My mom thinks he’s going through some midlife crisis. Aren’t
middle-aged men just supposed to have affairs? Or buy a damn motorcycle
? Get a tattoo
or something? Not try to ruin their kid’s life!”

“That’s not how he sees it. He did it because he thought he was doing what’s best
for you.”

“Are you defending him?” Reece asked in furious disbelief.

“No,”
she
said quietly. “I just don’t want you to hate him.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because
he did it because he loves you so much. I think that’s better than not having your
dad a part of your life at all.”
She
doubted what
she
was saying would make sense to him. Not the way it did to
her
.

She and Reece had
never talked about
her
dad much. Simply because there really ha
d
never been anything to say.
She had no way of knowing who he wa
s. No way of trying to track him down because
she
ha
d
no starting point. No name or location.
She
ha
d
no idea if he
was
just out there somewhere, ignoring the fact that he ha
d
a daughter. Of if he ha
d
no idea
she
exist
ed
. Or maybe, like
her
mom, maybe
he was gone too. She
just didn
’t know.

The few times
she
’d been brave enough to ask her, the conve
rsation didn’t get very far. Karla had
just told Cleo they
would talk about it when
she
was older. Only n
ow, that wasn’t going to happen.

“I’m not so sure about that, Cleo. Right now, the second option sounds pretty good
to me.”

He turned away from
her
then.
They
were both quiet.
She
wanted to say something but
she
didn’t know what. The silence in the vehicle was so thick it was suffocating
. At the same time,
she
knew that a million different things were going through
their
heads.

She
had no idea how this situation was going to end up.
She
didn’t know if he was ever going to forgive
her
or if this was all going to be too much.

“I don’t think your dad had any idea what Paul would threaten me with,”
she
finally admitted.
She
remembered the confused look on Landon’s face when Paul threatened
her
with Luci. “I think he figured Paul would just talk to me about it.
Put his foot down and refuse to let me see you or something.
He obviously couldn’t have know how
Paul would react if he caught us together.”

“Maybe he didn’t know but he did hear what Paul threatened you with, right?”

She
nodded. He had.

“And he didn’t back down did he? I don’t think he would’ve cared if he’d known ahead
of time. It didn’t stop him after the fact. If it meant he thought he’d get what he
wanted,” Reece insisted.

She didn’t know why she
wanted to give Landon the benefit of the doubt. For Reece’s sake
she
guessed.
And while
she
was pretty sure
she
hated him,
she
didn’t want Reece to hate him, too. Having a parent you hated seemed like such a
waste. But
she
wasn’t sure how
she
could explain that to him in a way that made sense.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he demanded after a while. He was angry but more than
anything,
she
could hear the hurt in his voice.

“What would you have done? I mean, really Reece. Think about it. What would you have
done if I’d gone to you?”

“I would’ve told him he has no right to interfere with my life like that,” he admitted
after a few moments.

“Right,”
she
said with a small nod. “And that’s exactly
why
I didn’t tell you. Do you think for one second that Paul wouldn’t have sent me away?
He would have. Just out of spite. There wouldn’t have been anything either of us could’ve
done about that. Even if your dad had changed his mind, Paul would’ve been furious
he didn’t get the second half of his payment. Who knows where I would’ve ended up?
We probably would’ve been over then anyway! At least this way, I could be there for
Luci.”

He stared at
her
for a minute and
she
wished
she
knew what was going on in his head.

“So you were never with Ethan?” he asked in a strained voice. It seemed as if that
realization had just struck him.

She
shook
her
head. “He was just helping me.”

He closed his eyes and let out an angry breath. “Do you have
any
idea what that did to me?” he asked with a harsh laugh. “
I had myself convinced you were seeing him while we were together.
My dad wanted me to be crushed? Well, that pretty much sums it up.”

“I’m sorry, Reece. I am so, so sorry.” It was true and
she
just didn’t know what else to say.
She
wanted to put
her
arms around him. Or take his hand. Just
something
. But
she
was frozen in place.

“So why are you telling me now?”

“Because,”
she
said,
she hated how her voice was quaking
, “at least now I’m not a minor. But mostly because it’s just too hard to stay away
from you. Knowing you were with Mia all summer long…and then seeing you with her…it
was just…too much.”
Her
breath caught at the last part.
She
hadn’t realized
she
was crying until Reece leaned over to wipe
her
tears off of
her
cheeks.

“I just wish you would’ve told me, that’s all,” he said. His voice was quieter and
had lost most of its edge.

“I’m telling you now. And this is far from over. After the other night, I’m pretty
sure Paul isn’t going to let me see Luci
,” she said. Her voice was choked with tears that she was holding back
.

Reece’s ex
pression softened
.

“I don’t know what else to say,”
she
continued as
she
tried to reign in
her
emotions.
She
hated crying. And more than that,
she
hated crying in front of other people. I
t
made
her
feel weak and pathetic. “I
am
sorry. It all happened so fast. I didn’t have time to think. I think maybe…that’s
why they waited until the last minute. That way I couldn’t find a way out of it.”

“I wish you would’ve come to me. Not Ethan.” There it was again, the hurt in his voice
that dominated over any anger.

“I didn’t go to Ethan. I went to Emma and Ethan just happened to be there. I didn’t
mean to pull him into this.
I mean, it wasn’t a conscious choice or anything.
It just happened,”
she
explained, silently begging him to understand.

“Why didn’t you tell me later then? After you’d had a few days, or a week, or whatever?”